Total WWE, World Tour: The Complete Third Season
by x.Cult Of Personality.x
Summary: It's a new year and a new season as Chris Jericho continues on with his awesome hosting duties, bringing back 13 contestants from seasons 1 and 2 - along with 4 new competitors - to compete all across the world in challenges they never saw coming, all for the main prize of one million bucks. Of course, with competition, comes love, cheating, revenge, and much, much more.
1. Episode 1: Egypt

_**AN: Ok, peeps, after another long, long wait, the third and FINAL season of the Total WWE saga has arrived. This one was made back in 2010, judging by the characters/storylines that I've used here and why you may not see some of them on WWE TV anymore today, so yeah. Plus, this season is quite different than the previous two. **_

_**New competitors joining this season: Christian, Evan Bourne, Eve, and Lita.**_

_**Anyhoo, enjoy!**_

* * *

Total WWE, World Tour: Night Over Egypt, pt.1

Episode #1

"Yo, what's up, peoples in TV Land? It's me, the Codebreaker, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Y2J, Chris Jericho! And we're back for the 3rd and sadly, final season of the Total WWE Saga I call, Total WWE, World Tour! So's this time, we're making the transition from an abandoned film lot, to, well, everywhere! England, Japan, Alaska, you name it, we'll be there! Unfortunately, during my vacation around the world, I'll have to be traveling with a first class group of morons. Hoo rah. The rules this season are as follows, the gang's gonna compete in challenges all around the world, while breaking out in random song moments anytime I wish. Stipulations are, they refuse to sing, they're out! Plus, I get to embarrass them on national TV, so it's all good. So, without further ado, let's get this party started on the season premiere of Total...WWE...World...Tour!"

_"YeeeeAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh...yeah...All I ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled, it is in my hands, I must not fail, I must not fail!...even through the darkest days, this fire burns always, this fire burns, always..."_

"HEH?" demanded Jericho.

While CM Punk and Maria arrived together, the two were arguing. "Ria, we could've gotten here a lot earlier if you'd hurry it up a bit." Punk said.

"Punk, I had a lot of preparing to do before we came here, all right? So stop rushing me all the time, it's annoying!" Maria cried.

"Annoying?" cried Punk. "I'M annoying?"

"No, I didn't say that you were, but-oh forget it." she muttered.

"No, Maria, finish what you have to say." he replied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You two aren't supposed to be in this season! You lost the last challenge, remember?" Jericho demanded.

"We know. But after some careful negotiation with your lawyers, we have just a fair shot of competing as everyone else around here." Punk explained.

"It was my idea." replied Maria.

"No, it wasn't!" he argued.

"W-What kind of negotiation? How'd you find my lawyers?" he demanded.

"Hehee, we're not telling you." she giggled.

Jericho just glared at them. "Next!"

_"I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they tell me things that I will do, they show me things I'll do to you, they talk to me..."_

After that, Randy Orton, Michelle McCool, and Edge all arrived next.

"Well, well, well, lookee here. Rated RKO." Jericho announced.

"For now." replied Randy. "If we end up throwing everyone else to the curb and I-"

Michelle and Edge sent him a couple of glares.

"...WE make it to the finals, then RKO stays."

"AHEM! You mean, RATED RKO?" Edge asked. "The Rated's MY part!"

"Shut up, Edge." he replied, flicking his nose.

"OW! What'd I tell you about dissing me?" Edge demanded.

_"Oh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh...whoo!...I can slap a tornado, I can dry up a sea, yeah. When I live for the moment, there ain't no ain't knowing me..."_

"And here he is, the brother with a grudge." Jericho announced while Matt Hardy arrived next.

"Look, dude. I have no grudge, all right? I'm my own man now that I've gotten rid of-" he began.

"DUDE, WE GET IT!" everyone else exclaimed at the same time.

"All right, then." he said, going to a corner.

*Paparazzi theme*

"Hello, peoples, the Maybelline Paparazzi princess has arrived!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, will you stop it with the Maybelline crap? My Revlon commercial beat yours by a mile!" Michelle exclaimed, storming up to her.

"Really? Have you gotten 350 calls to star in any more makeup commercials? Hmm?" she challenged.

Michelle was silent for a moment. "Pint sized Mexican squirt." she muttered.

"¡Skanky, el pedazo de basura de remolque, usted tía buena sin coco huesuda, rubia y pequeña que usted me hace me río!" Melina cried quickly, snapping her fingers towards her.

Confused and shocked, Michelle just stood there.

_"She looks good to me, Shes got everything I want((Oh Yeah))(Shes got everything I Need), Every time I look at her eyes I'm knocked out, She slides like a river on a rescue fountain..."_

"Hey, everybody! Nice to see you all again!" Eve Torres exclaimed, cartwheeling off of the bus. "WHOO!"

"Eve!" exclaimed Maria.

"Ria! Punk!" she greeted. "I didn't know you guys were gonna be here!"

"We duped Jericho's lawyers." Punk said with a smile.

"I did!" cried Maria.

"No, you didn't!" he argued.

"HOW?" demanded Jericho.

"Walk away." Punk replied to him.

_"She's like a lost flower growing up through a crack, In the busting sidewalk moving like a river so sad. So hey where we going? Tell me where we've gone? Was there love and fury, energy and passion? So f**k your rules man. you'll step up, you'll go down fast. I've got to rid these of the s**t that has made up my past..."_

While Lita arrived, Eve whipped around, while Matt woke up and paid attention.

"Lita, hey!" Maria exclaimed, rushing to her.

"Hey, Ria, long time, no see!" she smiled, giving her a hug, when Eve was practically breathing down her neck. She whipped around and glared at her.

"Oh, no, I gotta deal with you again?" Lita and Eve exclaimed, storming up to one another.

"Look, chica, get the hell outta my way!" Lita exclaimed. "I'm not in the mood for you."

"I'm not any more pissed off than you are right now!" Eve exclaimed.

"CATFIGHT!" cried Jericho.

"SHUT UP!" they snapped.

"Look, just leave me alone, and we'll be cool." Lita concluded, not realizing when she stood next to Matt. "Uh, hey."

"Hey." he greeted.

"Hmm..." Eve grumbled, jealous.

_"Don't you see the writing on the wall (Don't you see the writing on the wall) You're in way over your head, you're gonna drown in the things that you said. Time has come and gone for words, a thousand threats I've heard before, but words are cheap, but lies are faint to me..."_

"Hey, guys, back for round 3, eh?" Jeff Hardy greeted to everyone, along with Kelly Kelly.

"Hey, guys-what's up!" they greeted.

"Hey, Punk, Maria, you guys are competing with us, too?" asked Kelly.

"Yep!" exclaimed Maria.

"WHY?" demanded Jericho.

Annoyed, Punk slowly turned around towards him while Jericho slithered away.

"Hey, Jeff!" Maria blushed a little as he approached her.

"Hey, Ria, how's it going?" he asked, wrapping her in a hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." she replied before Punk led her away. "Ok, ok, that's enough."

Meanwhile, Kelly looked a little jealous at the two. "Hmm."

"So, you decided to show up after all." Jeff told Matt, glaring at him.

"Yep. Afraid?" he asked.

"I don't do fear." Jeff replied. "Never have, never will."

"That makes two of us, ex-little bro." he replied with a smirk.

_"If you close your eyes, Your life, a naked truth revealed, Dreams you never lived and scars never healed(Scars never healed)In the darkness life will take you to the other side, And find me waiting there you'll see if you just close your eyes..."_

"Hey, Peeps, how's it going?" Christian Cage greeted.

"Christian." Jericho muttered.

"Hey, Jericho, nice haircut. Go to the barber with Boy George?" he asked, walking past him.

Jericho gasped. "NO! My hair's cool." he pouted.

"CHRISTIAN!" Edge cried happily, carelessly shoving Randy aside and running towards him.

"EDGE!" Christian exclaimed, running towards him.

The two then attempted to do a belly bump, while the impact sent Edge to the ground.

"Good for him." Randy muttered, getting up.

_"Are you ready?"_

Jericho looked scared. "No. No, OH, MERCYFUL GOD, NO!" he exclaimed.

_"You think you can tell us what to do? Think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better? You better get ready. Bow to the masters...BREAK IT DOWN!..D-Generate into something, fool! We just got tired of doing what you do, that's the price, boy, yeah...that's the price, little man, break it down!"_

After that, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Mickie James all arrived in their DX attire, while Shawn and Hunter did their patented DX crotch chop!

"Hi, everyone!" Mickie exclaimed.

"Whoop tee do, now there's 3 of em." Randy muttered.

"You're damn right, there's three of us!" Hunter exclaimed. "So, are you ready?"

Everyone but Randy, Edge, Michelle, Matt, and Jericho (who was crying in a corner) nodded.

"I said, ARE...YOU...READY?" he asked again.

"WHOO!" the gang cheered.

"Then, for the chicks and dudes in attendance...for all you watching at home...and for me, the Game, let's get ready to suck it!" he exclaimed.

"And if you're not down with that, we only got two words for ya!" finished Shawn.

Then, the two gave Jericho a Texas Wedgie, and noogied his head.

"SUCK IT!" they exclaimed.

"YEAH!" everyone cheered.

"WAAAHH!" Jericho sobbed.

"What's wrong, Chris?" asked Mickie.

"Why have you joined...THEM?" he asked.

"Cause, they're my friends!" she replied.

"And, cause it's three against 1 now, ok, Jerko? Hey, Jerko, I made it up myself!" exclaimed Hunter.

"He did." Shawn agreed.

"God...NEXT!" Jericho called.

_"Yeah! Some are born to fight, Some are born to sin, I was born to light the fire, All that you fear..."_

"Hey, guys, what's new-WHOA!" Evan Bourne cried, his luggage getting caught in the bus door. He fumbled the luggage away from the door, but then spun around countless times while almost whacking Punk on the head, then while he tried to compose himself, he accidentally bumped into John Cena, who arrived last.

"WHOA!" they exclaimed, sprawled out on the ground.

"Heh heh. Sorry about that." Evan said, helping John up.

Everyone else was silent.

"It's cool." John said sadly.

"Aw, Cena's gonna cry!" Randy teased. "What's wrong? There's another superhero in town and you've been upstaged?"

"Shut your face, Orton!" he exclaimed. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ok, and now that you parasites are all here, welcome to the next, and sadly, final season of the Total WWE Saga!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Whoa, this is the last season?" Melina exclaimed. "This means this is the last time we have to deal with you!"

"WHOOHOO!" everyone cheered.

"HEY! This is a sad moment here, all right?" he demanded. "So anyways, in this season, we're gonna be traveling all around the world to places you might not have been before!"

"Ooh-sounds nice!" they all replied.

"And the best part is, you all get to travel in this lovely Jumbo Jet of Fun!" he exclaimed, while a huge, crusty, raggedy plane landed next to them. "Hi, guys." Chef Big Show, the pilot, said dully.

The gang grew silent.

"What the hell is this crap?" demanded Christian.

"It is not crap." Jericho said sternly.

"Is this thing even safe for us to ride on?" asked Maria.

"Sure!" he exclaimed, once a wheel began to pop off and a few possums scattered out. Everyone gasped.

"You want us to fly on a plane with RABIES?" Shawn demanded.

Jericho was quiet. "SO! Everybody aboard Flight 90210!" he announced.

"Ok, if you expect me to ride in that hunk of flying crap, you're mistaken! I'm gonna go complain to the U.N. about thi-*BONK!* Punk was cut off once Jericho bonked him on the head with a skillet.

"Punky!" Maria cried, rushing to his aid.

"So, any other complaints?" he asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Good, now all aboard!" he exclaimed.

Inside...

"Ok, hypocrites, here's the deal. This season, you'll be competing in crazy challenges all around the world for the grand prize of 1 million bucks! But here's the twist-you guys have to sing songs whenever I tell you to." he said with an evil smile.

"WHAT?" most of them demanded. "WHY?"

"Beacuse! HAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly. "Besides, if any of you refuse to sing, you're automatically eliminated."

Silence.

"I thought so."

"I just want a pancake." Shawn announced.

"Ok, moving on, the losers of each week's challenge will arrange for sleeping accommodations in here. The Failure's Lounge." Jericho announced, opening the door to an empty, rusty room with straps attached to the walls. "Allow me to demonstrate with my unconscious volunteer here." he said, grabbing Punk and settling him with the straps to the wall. "So basically, you'll have to sleep like this if you lose."

"Wha-HEY! What's goin on here?" Punk demanded, waking up.

"That's not fair, Jericho!" cried Eve.

"Life's not fair, is it?" he challenged back, before turning to look at Mickie. "Especially when a certain team decides to reunite with a chick you've had the hots for and they all just return to torment you!"

"Yeah..." Hunter said with a smile.

"Ok. But the winners of the week's challenge will sleep in here." he said, opening the door to a glamorous room with seats and everything. "The Playa's Lounge."

"Ok, butt out, everyone, I'm living here first!" Christian exclaimed before Jericho pulled him back. "Oh, not yet, dude. Now, this is the dining area..."

"Hey, where's the restroom around here?" asked Edge.

"Over there."

"WOO!" he exclaimed, going inside. He meekly turned around to find a camera watching him. Shocked, he quickly zipped his jeans back up and stormed out. "You know, Jericho, people get arrested for putting secret cameras in restrooms." he said angrily.

"Not really. That's actually one of the confessional rooms that you guys can dish out on. The other confessional's in the cockpit near the front." he replied.

Shawn laughed. "You said cockpit."

"...Pancakes." Jericho replied, glaring at him.

"DON'T MOCK ME!" he cried.

Later...

"And here is where the elimination ceremony takes place. The parasites who are safe, get these lovely bags of stale peanuts." he announced, as they all stood at the cargo hold at the plane, right by an opened door. "The losers have to jump off the plane and get the hell up outta here!"

"Wait, I'm allergic to peanuts." Cena announced.

Then Jericho nonchalantly shoved him off the plane. "Oops." he chuckled. "Like that."

"Haha. Do that again." Randy smiled.

"Whoa, is he gonna be all right? Where's he gonna land?" asked Mickie.

"Aw, he'll be fine. I guess." he replied.

What nobody knew was that John clung onto the landing gear and safely hid away from Jericho. "Try to get rid of me, will ya?" he muttered.

* * *

Later, everyone was chatting away in the lunch room...

"So, you have the same first and last name?" Lita asked Kelly. "How'd that happen?"

"Eh, it's a long story. Some people think it's cute to have the same first and last name, but it gets annoying after a while." she replied.

"Hey, I get ya. So, Jeff, what's going on with you and Matt?" she asked.

He was looking towards Maria at another table, where she caught his eye and smiled towards him while he smiled a little towards her.

"Dude?" asked Lita.

"Oh, uh, what?" he asked, looking towards her.

"What's going on with you and Matt?" she asked.

He sighed. "Well, it all started at the Royal Rumble a couple of years ago. He came into the ring, and I thought he was gonna help me defeat Edge, but turns out that he brought out a steel chair, bashed me in the head, and cost me the championship." he explained.

"Seriously? How come?" she asked.

"He's been keeping this hidden jealousy towards me. He thinks that I win everything and he doesn't, that's all. He was the one who even paid someone into getting me eliminated last season." he replied. "So ever since then, he's never apologized for it, and we're not really on good terms anymore."

"Dude, I'm sorry that happened. But hey, people make mistakes. I know more than anybody." she said quietly, looking towards Matt.

"Hey, Matt, what's new?" Eve asked with a smile, joining him.

"Nothing much. You?" he asked.

"Same, same. Hey, I was just wondering, if we have to team up for some kind of challenge, you want to team up with me?" she asked. "I'm sure we'll win!"

He looked towards Lita and began, "Well, I was gonna-"

"Look, don't follow her. She hurt you before, remember? You don't need to be constantly reminded of what could've been when you can team up with me and just have fun for once!" she exclaimed.

He was quiet for a moment before saying, "I guess I might as well give it a shot. You got a deal, teammate." he said, shaking her hand.

"Yes!" she cheered, smiling evilly towards Lita while she glared back in disgust.

"I can't believe you guys spent up all that money already!" Mickie exclaimed to Shawn and Hunter.

"Well, we took everyone to Disneyland, and well, Shawn wasted the rest of the cash." Hunter replied.

"Did not! We went to the Pancake museum, remember?" he asked.

"Then, got arrested, paparazzi followed us, and we had to use the last 50 bucks for bail." Hunter finished.

"Look, I won last year, I'm happy about it, and that's that!" Shawn replied.

"Well, at least we all have another chance to win this year." replied Evan. "So, uh, Mickie, it's nice to see you again." he said, blushing.

"Nice to see you too, Evan!" she exclaimed. "Be on my team, ok? I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun!"

"Really?" he asked eagerly. "Me? You? On the same team?"

"Fresh pancakes!" Jericho announced, putting a plate on their table.

"YES!" Evan cried, pounding the table, which in turn accidentally tilted the plate into the air and flipped the pancakes over so that they landed on Shawn and Hunter's heads. "Oops."

While Hunter silently just rested his head on his hand while syrup dribbled down his head, Shawn took a fork and slowly inched towards the pancake on Hunter's head, but Hunter stopped him. "Don't do it, Shawn." he replied.

"Aw." he groaned.

Then...

*DING DING!*

_"Attention parasites, that sound means it's time for you to improvise a song and start singing!" _Jericho announced on a loudspeaker, nearly blowing everyone's eardrums out.

Silence.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, WORMS? SING!" he demanded.

"Sing what?" demanded Michelle.

"I got it!" exclaimed Maria, playing "Summer Nights" on the radio.

Christian: "Summer lovin,'" Edge: "Had me a blast..."  
Maria: "Summer lovin,'" Michelle: "Happened so fast..."  
Matt: "I met a girl," Hunter: "Crazy for me!"  
Mickie: "Met a boy" Kelly: "Cute as can be..."  
Melina/John: "Summer days" Randy/Michelle: "Driftin' away," Christian/Eve: "To uh-oh those summer nights..."  
All: "Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh!"  
Punk/Evan/Jeff: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Shawn: "Did you get very far?"  
Lita/Mickie/Eve: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Maria: "Like does he have a car?"  
All: "Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh!"  
Jeff: "She swam by me," Punk: "She got a cramp..."  
Eve: "He ran by me," Mickie: "Got my suit damp..."  
Matt: "I saved her life," Shawn: "She nearly drowned!"  
Melina: "He showed off," Kelly: "Splashing around..."  
Jeff/Maria: "Summer sun," Mickie/Evan: "Something's begun," Edge/Michelle: "But uh-oh those summer nights..."  
All: "Uh well-a well-a well-a huh!"  
Kelly/Mickie/Maria: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Eve: "Was it love at first sight?"  
Evan/Randy/Matt: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Jeff/Shawn/Hunter: "Did she put up a fight?"  
All: "Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh!"  
Edge: "Took her bowling," Punk: "In the arcade..."  
Maria: "We went strolling," Mickie: "Drank lemonade..."  
Matt: "We made out" Christian: "Under the dock..." Edge: "YEAH!"  
Melina: "We stayed out, Eve: "'Till ten o'clock..."  
Randy/Michelle: "Summer fling," John/Maria: "Don't mean a thing," Punk/Mickie: "But uh-oh those summer nights..."  
All: "Uh well-a well-a well-a huh!"  
Shawn/Randy/Edge: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Hunter: "But you don't gotta brag!"  
Maria/Kelly/Eve: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Lita: "Cause he sounds like a drag."  
All: "Shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEAH!"  
Mickie: "He got friendly," Kelly: "Holding my hand..."  
Evan: "While she got friendly, Hunter: "Down in the sand..."  
Melina: "He was sweet," Maria: "Just turned eighteen!"  
Jeff: "Well she was good, you know what I mean!"  
Girls: "Whoo!"  
John/Eve: "Summer heat," Punk/Kelly: "Boy and girl meet," Christian/Mickie: "But uh-oh those summer nights..."  
All: "Woo, woo, woo!"  
Melina/Lita/Maria: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Michelle: "How much dough did he spend?"  
Hunter/Shawn/Punk: "Tell me more, tell me more..."  
Evan: "Could she get me a friend?"  
Melina: "It turned colder - that's where it ends."  
Jeff: "So I told her we'd still be friends."  
Maria: "Then we made our true love vow..."  
Punk: "Wonder what," Christian: "She's doing now..."  
John/Eve: "Summer dreams," Mickie/Evan: "Ripped at the seams..."  
Punk/Kelly: "Bu-ut..." Shawn/Mickie: "...Oh!" Hunter/Melina: "Those su-ummer..."

All: "Niiiiights! Tell me more, tell me more!"

* * *

-Cockpit Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Ok, if anybody, especially that Christian says anything about me having to sing, there will be hell to pay."

"How much money?" Big Show asked behind him.

Randy glared back at him. "I'm going to the porta potty next time." he muttered.

-Back outside-

* * *

After that, the plane finally landed in Egypt.

_"Ok, worms, our first stop is lovely Egypt, where you can see sand, sand, and more sand!" _Jericho exclaimed on the megaphone. "Everybody off!"

While they all left the plane, the temperature suddenly went up about 100 degrees.

"Holy chiz! Jericho, why didn't you tell us it was gonna be a bazillion degrees out here?" demanded Punk.

"You never asked." he replied with a smile. "Ok, parasites, your first challenge of the season will be as follows. See those pyramids over there? Well, you gotta break up into groups and find a way to get across the pyramid to the finish line on the other side. Now, you can either go through the pyramid, or climb over it. Any questions?"

"ME!" cried Maria.

"Too bad, now, go, parasites, GO!" he cried, putting on a King Tut crown. "I look good."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Big Show muttered.

He glared at him.

Meanwhile...

"C'mon, guys, this whole pyramid thing should be a piece of cake." Hunter said, in a group with Shawn, Mickie, and Evan.

"Maybe we should go inside." announced Evan. "It might be easier."

"How? Let's just climb over it, shouldn't take more than 5 minutes." he replied.

"Yeah, but see how high that thing is? There might be some secret path inside that might be a shortcut for us!" he exclaimed. "What do you guys think?"

"I don't wanna take sides." replied Mickie. "What do you think, Shawn?"

"GAAAHH!..." he cried out, already climbing up the pyramid.

"Shawn!" cried Evan.

"HEY!" Hunter exclaimed while the three followed him.

"Hey, dude, wanna be partners like old times?" Lita asked Jeff.

"Let's do it." he smiled.

"Hey, are we going now or what? I gotta get outta this heat." Kelly said, headed inside.

"Kel, wait." Jeff said, looking towards Maria. "Hey, Ria!"

She looked towards them. "Hey!"

"Uh, you wanna join us?" he asked. "The more people, the better."

"That'd be great, but-" she was cut off when Punk said, "Don't even think about it. She's mine. Let's go, Ria."

While he took her inside, she called, "Sorry, guys."

Jeff looked a little disappointed while Kelly said, "Uh, Jeff?"

"Huh?" he asked.

She scoffed and headed inside. "Forget it."

"Kelly, hold up, what's wrong?" he asked, following her while Lita rolled her eyes. "Oh, dude, what mess did you get yourself into now?"

While Matt saw Lita walk off, he was about to follow her when Eve tugged his arm. "Pay no mind to the past, Matt. We've got a finish line to find."

"Hey, guys, can I look with you?" asked Melina.

"Sure!" she exclaimed. "Let's go!"

"I'm back!" announced Cena. "Can't get rid of me THAT easily, eh, Jericho?"

"Eh, whatever. Just go before I change my mind." he grumbled.

Inside the tomb...

Punk and Maria teamed up, and they reached three entrances.

"Punk, will you stop dragging me around?" Maria cried, snatching her arm away. "There's nobody else in here!"

"Sorry, sorry. I-I just feel like I'm losing you sometimes." he said.

"Whaddya mean?"

"For the past few months, lately all we've been doing is fighting. Things just don't seem the same between us anymore." he replied.

"CM, if you'd just stop being all bossy towards me, I wouldn't be so mad at you, ok?" she asked.

"Should've saw that coming." Punk replied with a smirk. "Look, I'm trying, all right? Whoa, look at this." There were three paths in front of them. "How are we supposed to know which one to go through?"

"Hmm...I say the middle one!" exclaimed Maria. "I think I just saw a cute little animal inside and I wanna follow it! Come on, CM!"

"Oh, what kinda animal, a python?" he demanded once she dragged him away.

Soon after they went through, Jeff, Kelly, and Lita found the three entrances next.

"I had a feeling this was gonna happen. Let's try the one on the right." announced Lita.

"Wow, how'd you know so soon?" asked Jeff.

"I know things. C'mon!" she exclaimed, leading the way.

"So, Lita, how long have you and Jeff known each other?" asked Kelly.

"Since around 1999. He and Matt saved me during a match and he's been like a brother to me ever since." she replied.

"It's true." he agreed.

"Oh." she nodded.

"Now Kel, can you tell me why you're so upset?" asked Jeff.

"I'm not upset." she replied, crossing her arms.

"You just expect me to believe that?" he asked. "I'm your boyfriend, Kel, you know you can tell me anything."

"Well, sometimes, you don't seem like my boyfriend anymore." she replied.

"What?" Jeff asked, surprised.

"Look, whatever's going on, don't ever bring me in the middle of this, ok?" Lita asked as they headed off.

After they went off, Matt, Eve, and Melina arrived next.

"Ok, we're probably falling way behind, so we're taking the left door, all right? Any questions? No? Good, come on!" Melina said quickly.

"You chose her." Matt told Eve.


	2. Ep 1, pt 2

Outside...

Randy, Michelle, Edge, and Christian were all climbing up the pyramid and were exhausted.

"Ok, why'd you have to have HIM dragging along with us?" Randy demanded to Edge.

"I have a name!" Christian exclaimed, glaring back at him.

Randy turned back to Edge. "WHY?" he demanded.

"Cause, he's my best friend! You know that, Rand." he replied. "Hey dude, since we're like 50 ft up here, let's do that thing we did when we were 14, remember the thing?"

"Yeah, I remember the thing!" Christian agreed.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Michelle.

"JERICHO EATS UNDERWEAR!-_WEAR..WEAR..wear!"_ Christian's voice echoed while Edge laughed along.

_"...I do not!"_ Jericho called from a distance.

"YEE TEE DEE!" he echoed again.

"BAAAAAAA!" Edge echoed.

"Guys..." Randy began.

"I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady, all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating, so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?" they both rapped.

"GUYS!" Randy cried. "Aw, damn it, let's just go, Michelle."

"Bye, guys!" she exclaimed once they kept on climbing.

The two stopped rapping while Christian said, "Well, those party poopers. Let's go, man."

While they climbed up, Hunter, Shawn, Mickie, and Evan all climbed from the other side.

"I told you guys this way wouldn't work!" exclaimed Evan. "See how long it's taking us to reach the top?"

"Yeah, Evan does have a point. The others inside are probably way ahead of us." agreed Mickie.

"Y-You agree with me?" he asked, turning red.

"Sure, why not?" she asked.

"Life is good-WHOA!" he cried once he lost balance and fell a couple of steps down, dragging Mickie with him. "AAH!" she cried.

"Guys!" Hunter exclaimed holding out his arm and pulling Evan and Mickie back up. "Shawn, give me a hand, will ya? Shawn?"

He turned around to find him easily climbing ahead while mumbling, "I'm a winner. I'm a millionaire! I'M A WINNER!"

"HEY, WE SPLIT THAT CHECK, REMEMBER? HALF THAT CASH WAS MINE, NOW GET BACK HERE!" Hunter cried. "Wait till I get my hands on him. And you! No more Urkel moments today, all right?" he asked Evan.

"I can't promise you anything." he replied with a weak chuckle.

Back inside...

John was on his own, and planned to beat everyone else to the finish line. "God, I miss Candice. She'd know what to do at a time like this. If there was just some way for me to call her." he said, then finding an intercom on the wall. "Hmm. Didn't know pyramids had these things, but oh well." Once he started dialing numbers, a door from the ceiling opened, sending rolls of bandages and ancient artifacts falling on top of him. "MMM! MMMM!" he cried, muffled.

Meanwhile...

"I swear, I saw it!" Maria cried, trying to follow the animal.

"Ria, please, I swear it was a python, so can we just ignore it and try to win? Jericho's already suspicious as it is about how we conned his lawyers into getting us onto the show." explained Punk.

_"CONFESS, PARASITES!"_ Jericho's angry voice exclaimed on an intercom near theirs.

"AAAHHHH!" they shouted, speeding ahead.

Meanwhile...

"Kelly, will you just tell me what's wrong with you?" Jeff continued, while Lita blankly looked at the ceiling.

"Maria, all right?" she demanded. "You're always looking at her for some reason!"

"Wha-she's one of my best friends! What, I can't say hi to her anymore or something?" he demanded.

"So, this is the weirdest pyramid I've ever been in." began Lita, kicking a fake prop down.

"But you act different around her! It's like you're not paying any more attention to me, I AM your girlfriend after all!" she exclaimed.

"I know that, Kelly. But whenever you see me with another woman, you always assume that I'm cheating on you or something!" he cried.

"Seriously, is Jericho always this cheap?" asked Lita.

"Look, Jeff, I'm not gonna argue with you anymore, ok? Let's just get outta here and win this thing." Kelly said, storming ahead.

While he looked towards her in surprise, Lita said, "I don't like her."

He sighed. "I don't even know what's happening to her and I anymore. So, um, was there a problem with you and Eve earlier on the plane?" he asked.

"Yes, I have a serious problem with her." she announced. "She just thinks that she can tell Matt what to do, she makes me sick!"

"They're just friends, though." he replied.

"Doesn't look like it to me. She's deliberately drooling all over him in order to make me jealous, well, it's kinda working." she replied.

"I thought you guys weren't really speaking to one another." said Jeff.

"Yeah, but we're trying to work things out again. I still want to be friends with him at least, but that little bitch isn't making things any easier." she said, walking ahead.

Meanwhile...

"Ok, I see a whole lot of nothing." announced Melina. "Maybe this path had a dead end."

"Well, you were the one who wanted us to go down here, so don't blame us." Matt replied.

"Are you getting smart with me?" she demanded.

"Yelling at people isn't the answer to everything, you know." he replied.

"¡Usted me escucha, disparo caliente, nadie me falta al respeto, y yo no tomaré abofeteo, especialmente no de usted, el Sr que traicionaré a te hermanito pobre, te loca!" she yelled in Spanish.

"WHAT?" Matt demanded, confused.

"¡Usted me oyó, el chico, usted no desordenará conmigo si sabe lo que viene al ya!" she continued.

"Cállate, Mel, cálmate, ya basta, cállate!" Eve exclaimed, trying to calm her down.

"No me digas que se calle, mira a este tipo!" Melina argued.

"Uh, HABLA INGLES?" demanded Matt.

"Ok, can we please just stop fighting and find a way outta here?" Eve asked, climbing up this wall, but what she didn't know was that she bumped into a secret trap.

As a bunch of arrows flew towards her, Matt cried, "Eve!"

"Huh?-AAH!" she cried once he tackled her out of the way. "What the?" she asked, seeing the arrows sticking into the wall where she was just standing.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. You saved me!" she exclaimed, blushing. "You love me, don't you?"

He just sighed and rolled his eyes.

Back outside...

"Heave!" cried Hunter, while he, Mickie, and Evan all held onto a rope to keep them together. "HEAVE!" he called again. "Shawn, where the heck are ya?"

"Right here." he replied, popping from out of nowhere, drinking a soda.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" they cried in surprise, falling down a few steps.

"COME ON, PICK UP THE SLACK!" he exclaimed. "Don't keep a winner waiting!"

Meanwhile...

"Come on, let's move before those others reach the finish line before we do. Remember, we gotta win as many challenges as possible, and if we make it to the finals, then RKO is back, got it?" Randy demanded.

"Sure thing, babe." agreed Michelle.

"He forgets the Rated part again, unbelievable!" Edge exclaimed.

"I didn't know I was a part of Rated RKO." Christian said with a smirk.

"Nobody's talking to you!" Randy snapped at him.

"You are, though." he replied.

Before he was about to pop another blood vessel, he regained himself and said, "We're almost to the top, and this will be over with soon enough."

A few minutes later, they did reach the top...

"Awesome! And I don't see anyone down there, especially that Melina, so I think we're in the clear!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Excellent. Now there's gotta be a way to get down this thing without getting killed. Climbing down's gonna take forever." Randy replied.

"Hey, let's use this billboard of Jericho to slide down!" Edge suggested, holding a flat board.

"Perfect!" Randy exclaimed, snatching the board. "Let's move!"

Once he, Michelle, and Christian leapt on, Edge was about to when they sailed off without him, and the board sent Edge falling back down the opposite side of the pyramid.  
"DUUUDDDDEEEEESSSS!..." Edge cried, rolling down the pyramid.

Inside...

"Ok, I don't think Jericho'll find us anymore." Punk announced, tired from all the running.

"Doesn't he creep you out sometimes?" Maria asked.

"Sometimes?" asked Punk. "Hey, what's that shiny thing over there?"

"By the rock? I see it, too!" she exclaimed. "Looks like a diamond!"

"Hmm. If that thing's real, we could be millionaires!" he exclaimed. "We wouldn't need Jericho and his crazy challenges anymore! We'd be free!"

"Hmm!" Maria said, thoughtfully.

"You could even go on a shopping spree..." he said slyly, putting an arm around her.

"THAT THING'S MINE!" she exclaimed, dragging him along.

They lifted up the rock to get the 'diamond', which was really a shiny green rock.

"Damn, what a ripoff." he replied. "Well, let's go."

Maria picked up the rock and smiled a little. "It's so pretty and green. Like Jeff's eyes." she said quietly. "I wonder where he is now."

"What?" Punk asked.

She blushed. "Nothing!" she said, slipping the rock into her pocket and walking ahead while Punk looked suspicious. They kept walking until a bandaged figure stood before them. "MMM! MMMM!" he cried, trying to get rid of the bandages.

"CM, are you suddenly afraid of mummies?" she asked.

"Uh huh." he agreed shakily.

"MMMMMMMMM!" he cried.

"DIE, MUMMY!" Punk cried, kicking him in the stomach before speeding away with Maria.

"HEY!" the 'mummy' muttered. "MMMMMM!"

"He's chasing us!" Maria cried.

"C'mon, he won't get us! Let's go!" Punk cried.

Meanwhile...

"Nobody said there'd be bats in this thing!" Eve exclaimed, speeding away with Matt and Melina.

"AY BUEY!" Melina cried, covering her head.

"I knew I should've went on my own!" Matt exclaimed.

The three sped on, but didn't notice when Eve accidentally ran through a totally different path.

"Well, that was close, eh, guys? Guys?" she asked.

Silence.

"Gulp." she said, nervous. "Matt, if there was ever a time for you to save me again, now's the time!"

*growl*

"AAAHH!" she screamed, running off.

Meanwhile...

Jeff, Kelly, and Lita sped through the path, when they stopped in front of this huge nest of beetles.

"O-Oh, my God." Kelly cried quickly, hiding behind Jeff. "Please tell me there's another way we can get past those."

"Oh, now you're throwing yourself at me." Jeff said, rolling his eyes.

She glared at him.

"Look, I don't think there's any other way. We just have to find some sorta way to get past these things." replied Jeff.

Then, Lita found a long pole and used that to swing herself over the nest and to the other side. "Use this." she replied, tossing the pole towards them.

"Great idea, Lita! You go next, Kel." he told his girlfriend.

She looked at the nest and back at him. "Maybe you should go first. I-I just don't wanna do this." she replied. "Please?"

"All right, if that's what you want." he replied, swinging himself over next. After he tossed the pole back towards Kelly, he called, "It's gonna be all right, Kel, we'll help you!"

"Yeah, it's all you right now! Leap over this thing and we're guaranteed to win. The exit's right over there!" Lita agreed.

She sighed. "Fine..." she replied, quickly leaping herself over, barely missing the beetles. "EEP!"

"See, now was that so bad?" Jeff asked.

"YES!" she cried, shuddering as she headed off. "Let's GO!" she called, while Lita looked at her and then back at him.

"Why, Jeff?" Lita asked while they headed towards the exit.

Outside, the three indeed crossed the finish line first...

"Wow, you parasites made it out first! Congrats!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WOOHOO!" the three cheered, sharing a knuckle punch.

"And because of that, you three get to be a part of Team 1." he replied.

"Really? Guys, this is great, now we all get to be on the same team!" Kelly exclaimed. "And you are 100% mine." she told Jeff.

"Hmm." he replied, slightly rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but I'm worried about who else might be joining us." replied Lita, looking back towards the pyramid.

"So am I." agreed Jeff. "Maybe we can try to convince Jericho to let things stay the way they are now."

Next, Randy, Michelle, and Christian crossed the finish line.

"We're here!" announced Randy.

"Great." Jeff said sarcastically.

"Nobody asked you!" he snapped back.

"Hey, where's Edge?" asked Christian.

"DUDES!" Edge (who was now dusty and sand covered) exclaimed angrily, joining them.

"What happened to you, Pigpen?" Lita asked, glaring at him.

"RANDY forgot about me and I was tossed down the pyramid!" he demanded.

"ME? Well, I-So did Christian!" Randy argued. "Blame him!"

"I did nothing." he replied.

"And I believe him!" Edge agreed.

Randy held his head again. "I'm gonna lose it. I swear, I'm gonna-"

"Easy, babe, you don't want to strangle another pedestrian, do you?" Michelle asked.

"No."

"Ok, gang, I like what I see, and here's the dealio. Edge, join team 1." said Jericho.

"WHAT?" he, along with Jeff, Kelly, and Lita demanded.

"And Randy, Michelle, and Christian, you'll all be a part of team 2."

"Whoa, I gotta be on a team with HIM?" Randy demanded.

Christian just smirked and clicked his fingers towards him.

"Where's the camera guy? I'm gonna kill somebody." Randy said, pissed off.

"RANDY!" Michelle exclaimed, holding him back. "STOP IT!"

Next, Punk and Maria escaped the pyramid, screaming.

"AAAHH!" they cried.

"Whoa, parasites, what's going on?" asked Jericho.

"M-Mummy!" cried Maria. "He was like, tall, and had stuff all over him, and-"

"OH NO, THERE HE IS NOW!" Punk cried, seeing him again.

"Mummies? Come on, you guys can't be serious." Jeff said, approaching the 'mummy' and ripping of the bandages to reveal..."Cena?" he asked, surprised.

"YES, it's me, who those two've been attacking all this time!" he exclaimed, ripping off the rest of the tape.

"Oops." Punk said meekly.

"Sorry." agreed Maria. Then, she turned to Jeff. "Hi, Jeff."

"Hi, Maria." he smiled while she giggled.

"Ahem." Punk said, glaring towards them.

"Where'd you come from, anyway?" asked Kelly. "Last time we saw you, Jericho tossed you outta the plane."

John sighed. "Long story, but I'm here!" he said, forcing a smile. "Somehow!"

"Yippie yi yo kai yay." Orton said sarcastically.

He shot a look towards him.

"Ok, cool it down, masomorphs. So, let's have Punk join team 1..." began Jericho.

"Hey, man, welcome to the club." Jeff said, shaking his hand.

"Thanks, I'm honored." he said sarcastically.

Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"So, why's Edge here?" asked Punk.

"Cause Jericho made me come here." he said, crossing his arms.

"Well this is screwed." he announced.

"My words exactly." agreed Lita.

"And Cena and Maria, you'll be a part of team 3."

"All right." she said sadly, being separated from everyone else, but more than that, she was jealous that Kelly and Jeff were on the same team again.

"Don't worry, Ria, being on different teams haven't split us up before. I'll miss you." Punk replied.

She mustered up a half smile. "I'll miss you, too." she said, looking towards Jeff.

Feeling sorry that she was alone, he looked back towards her and smiled, his eyes saying, 'It's going to be all right' towards her. Meanwhile, Kelly and Punk saw the two gazing towards another while Kelly said, "Why are those two always looking towards each other?"

"Yeah, don't we exist anymore?" agreed Punk.

"Heh. Not anymore, HA!" Jericho exclaimed with a laugh while the two looked at him.

After that, Matt and Melina, followed by Eve, joined them next...

"Damn it, we lost." Matt muttered.

"Thanks for waiting for me, guys!" Eve exclaimed angrily.

"Well, there were bats chasing us, girl, what did you want us to do?" asked Melina.

"Ok, guys, I'm assigning teams, and I want Melina to join team 2 with Orton, Christian, and Michelle..." began Jericho.

"Oh, not hothead over there and that Revlon knockoff!" Melina demanded.

Christian chuckled.

"WHAT'D you call me?" Michelle demanded while Randy held her back.

"Oh, Mel, I believe we're gonna have a great time tormenting these two." Christian said with a smile.

"Yeah, I think so." she agreed, smiling.

"All right, Matt, you join team 1..."

Seeing who was on that team, he exclaimed, "Wait, what?"

"HEH?" demanded Edge.

"JERICHO!" Jeff exclaimed, storming up to him. "Look, I'm cool with Kelly, Lita, and Punk on this team, but not him or Edge!"

"But, dude, this is what creates drama! I gotta make some people miserable around here." he replied.

"GRR!" Eve growled, knowing that Matt was on the same team as Lita. "Well, what about me?"

"You'll be joining team 2, Eve." he replied.

"God, not another one." Michelle muttered.

"Hmph!" Eve scoffed, crossing her arms and joining her team.

Back on the pyramid, Hunter and the gang finally reached the top, but had to find a way to get down...

"Finally." Hunter sighed.

"Oh, look, guys, we're dead last!" Mickie exclaimed, seeing everyone at the finish line.

"Great job, team!" Shawn said sarcastically.

"Great job? You up and left us to go off on your own!" Hunter argued. "Why are you yelling at us?"

"COME ON, PARASITES, GET DOWN HERE!" Jericho cried on his megaphone.

"Haha. I'm a winner. I don't need this." he replied, almost psychotically.

"Uh, Shawn?" he asked, worried.

"You ok?" asked Evan.

"Oh, I'm peachy, hahahahahaha! I am a good Christian man, I don't need this! I already won!" he cried.

*DING DING!*

"HEY, SHAWN, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO SING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!" Jericho exclaimed.

Suddenly annoyed/pissed off, Shawn tied the rope around his waist, sped down the pyramid and dragged the others down with him...

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" they cried.

"Ow, my ass!" cried Hunter. "Shawn, quit it!"

After they reached solid ground again, Shawn untied the rope and stormed up to Jericho.

"Hi." Jericho greeted, smirking.

"I don't wanna sing about my feelings." he said in a strangely calm voice. "I won last year, and all I really want are some pancakes. Is that so much to ask?"

"Shawn, if you refuse to sing, you'll be disqualified." he replied.

"Shawn, just sing already!" exclaimed Mickie.

"You can't disqualify me, Jericho, cause I QUIT!" Shawn said with a smile.

Everyone gasped.

"Oh, really?" he asked nonchalantly.

"That's right. I already won the million bucks, so why should I have to compete again?" he asked.

"Cause you'd get a chance to win another million dollars." answered Evan.

"And yes, you've already won the million bucks, but we've spent every dime of it already." added Hunter.

Shawn looked stunned. "So we're flat out broke?" he asked.

"...Yeah." he replied.

"Uh, uh, Jericho, I'll sing for you if you want! I'll even sing the pancake song that I just thought of off of the top of my head!" he said quickly.

"Too late, Shawny boy, you quit from the competition." Jericho replied. "We'll send you back to Big Show and he'll drop you off back home."

"NO!" his friends cried.

"Well, this isn't the end. I'll be back, Jericho, you'll see. You'll ALL see!" Shawn cried once the guards dragged him back towards the plane.

"Oh, why, Shawn, why?" Mickie asked, shaking her head.

Meanwhile, Hunter looked devastated. "Don't go." he said in a small voice.

"Well, back to business matters, Mickie, Evan, and Hunter, you can complete team 3 with Maria and Cena." he replied.

"Aw, Shawn made one little mistake, can't you bring him back?" demanded Hunter.

"No." he replied. "Now it's time for each team to choose a team name. You got 1 minute to do so."

Team 1 just glared at one another. Jeff glared at Matt, Matt glared at him and Edge, Edge glared at Matt and Lita, and Lita glared back at Edge.

"So..." Punk announced. "Awkward."

"So, I doubt anyone's gonna think up a name." Kelly said uncomfortably.

"So, I will. We'll be Team-" began Punk.

"TEAM UNDERPANTS!" announced Edge. "Get it? Got it? Good!"

Everyone looked at him.

"Moron!" they all said.

Meanwhile...

"Ok, listen up, everyone. I'm gonna be the leader of this team, and I say we call it the RKO Army. Got it?" Randy demanded.

"It's hot." agreed Michelle.

"Eh, I don't like it." Christian replied.

"Well, who cares what you think?" he demanded.

"Excuse me, Randy, but I do." replied Eve.

"Yeah, so do I. What'd you have in mind, Christian?" asked Melina.

"Hmm..." he thought.

Meanwhile...

"Ok, guys, so what should we call our team?" asked Maria.

"I Miss Candy?" asked John.

"Bring Shawn Back?" asked a depressed Hunter.

She just looked at them.

"Ok, parasites, time's up! Punk, what's your team's name?" asked Jericho.

"We'll be The Misfits. All right with you guys?" he asked.

They all either nodded in agreement or shrugged.

"Ok, Christian, your team?" he asked.

"Hey, it's MY team!" cried Randy.

"Outta my way." Christian replied, shoving him away. "We'll be the Peep Force Five."

"Cool-like it!" Eve and Melina agreed.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" demanded Randy.

"And Cena, your team?" he asked.

Before he could reply, Maria whispered something to him. "Uh, The Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad. Wait, what?" he asked, stunned.

"I think it's cute!" she exclaimed.

"O..k." Jericho replied, jotting it down. "Then, Deadly Bunny, blah-blah-blah, you get this camel." he said, handing its leash to Hunter. "Heh?"

"Peep Force Five, you get this goat." he said, handing Randy the leash. "Wha-OW! Hey, this thing almost bit my ass!" he cried.

"Baaa." Christian imitated.

"And Misfits, you get this stick." he said, tossing them one.

"Well, this keeps getting better and better." Lita announced.

* * *

-Port-a Potty Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Well, I'm screwed. My real main concern's that Edge's on my team, but on the good side, Matt IS on my team, and I'm sure that Eve's going crazy out of her mind. Payback really is a bitch, ain't it?"

Eve: "I cannot believe Jericho put Lita on the same team with Matt! Well, as long as I'm here, I won't let him get hurt by her again, and I SURE as hell won't let her get away with disrespecting me!"

Maria: "Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my team and the name's totally cute! But...I just wish that for once Jeff and I were on a team together. We just don't spend as much time as we used to anymore now that he's with Kelly."

Jeff: "Well, I'm gonna have a miserable time. Kelly's constantly arguing with me for no apparant reason, Matt and I aren't speaking to each other, Punk's staring bullets into me, and Edge, don't get me started on him. At least I have Lita, *sighs*, I just wish Maria could be on the team, too, though."

Melina: "I gotta be on the same team as that Randy and Michelle? ¿Qué clase de mierda es esto? ¡Es que Jericó que trata de fastidiarme, yo no puedo creer esto! ¿Se lleva bien con Randy? ¡Te loca, yo hago ni como Randy, y no me consigo comencé en Michelle!"

John: "The Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad?"

Hunter: *has back turned to camera while sewing some fabric together, and then turns around* "Hey, can a guy get a little privacy here? I'm in mourning, damn it!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"So, any reason you screwed us around and gave us this stick instead of what they got?" Jeff asked.

"All will be revealed soon, Rainbow Brite...on the next episode, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jericho laughed evilly.

"Just cut the camera off already so they don't have to see me beat the snot outta him!" Jeff exclaimed to the camera guy.


	3. Episode 2: Egypt pt 2

Total WWE, World Tour: Night Over Egypt, pt. 2

Episode #2

"Hey, parasites and masomorphs alike! Y2J here, Chris Jericho with another unpredictable episode of TWWT! Last week, everybody returned to the new set, including four new faces, Christian, Lita, Evan, and Eve. Punk and Maria made a surprise appearance and joined us, although they weren't on such great terms. But I still gotta find out how they conned my lawyer! Rated RKO returned, with Randy as arrogant as ever, Michelle still pissed about her failed makeup commercial over Melina's, and Edge still feeling neglected from Randy. Once Christian arrived though, the two were inseparable, and Orton grew jealous. Matt arrived, still as jealous as ever, while Jeff was ready to stand up to him at any cost. Eve tried to get closer to Matt, while her feud with Lita was just as vicious as before. And D-Generation X returned with my dear Mickie and now she's on their side, and...I don't want to talk about it. Anyways, Evan arrived and almost sent himself and Cena to the hospital. Real Urkel moment, eh? For our first stop on our world tour, we visited scorching hot Egypt, where the gang split into teams and raced either above or underneath the pyramid! Hunter, Mickie, Evan, and Shawn all had a tough time climbing up, while Shawn decided to take the easy way out. Randy, Michelle, Edge, and Christian decided to climb up too, while Christian and Edge made fools of themselves, and Randy was about to pop a vessel. All the other teams went underground, while Cena got lost inside and turned into a mummy. In the end, the team of Jeff, Kelly, and Lita arrived first, followed by Randy and Co., Punk, Maria, and Mummy Cena, Matt, Melina, and Eve, and Hunter, Shawn, Mickie, and Evan coming in dead last. But before that, Shawn had just about enough with losing and made a crucial mistake-he quit the competition! Leaving his friends in shock, the official teams were made. Cena, Maria, Hunter, Mickie, and Evan were dubbed Team Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad-don't ask me to repeat that-, Edge, Lita, Jeff, Kelly, Matt, and Punk were Team Misfits, and Randy, Michelle, Eve, Melina, and Christian were Team Peep Force 5! This week in Egypt, how will the new teams coexist? How crazy will Randy get seeing Edge dump him for Christian? And will the war between Lita and Eve continue? Find out next on Total…WWE….World…Tour!"

* * *

Still in the desert, each team was placed on a different colored platform, The Misfits on a red one, The Peep Force 5 on a green one, and The Deadly Bunnies on a blue one...

"Soo...anyone else wanna hold the stick?" Punk asked, twirling it around.

"I still don't get why he even gave us this thing!" exclaimed Matt. "This is just pointless."

"Maybe we can use this thing to beat the crap outta each other." Edge smirked, snatching the stick from Punk, while he was about to swing it towards Matt.

Not looking back towards him, Matt punched him in the nose.

"OW!" he cried. "Somebody do something about this!"

Lita chuckled. "Nice one, dude." she told Matt.

He half smiled. "Thanks, I know." he replied.

"Grr...I hate all of you." Edge growled.

"Then get off of the team." Jeff replied, crossing his arms.

"I would, but Oh, Mighty Jericho won't let me." he replied.

"It's so hot out here." Kelly said.

"OY!" Punk cried, while Edge threw the stick at his head. "Son of a bitch!"

"Is there a bar somewhere near here, cause I need a drink." Lita announced dully.

"HEY!" Jeff cried, turning around after feeling sand being thrown at him.

"Oops." Matt said sarcastically, holding a clot of sand. "Sorry, did I interrupt your daydream about Maria?"

"Knock it off, man!" he cried, throwing a clot of sand back at him.

"OW, MY EYE!" Matt cried.

"What?" demanded Punk and Kelly. "Jeff, you were daydreaming about her?"

"I didn't daydream about anyone!" he argued, turning a little red.

And right then and there, the whole team, minus Kelly began a nonstop shouting match. The blonde was unamused.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Kelly: "Ok, I might as well get ready for nonstop losing, cause there's no way my team's gonna ever get along! This is so stressful, you don't even know! And why the hell is my boyfriend daydreaming about another woman?"

Big Show: "Want a Twinkie to soothe your pain?"

"Uh...sure! ICK! It's all warm!" she replied.

"Sorry, it was hiding under my seat cushion." he replied.

She quickly left the area.

-Back Outside-

* * *

"Hunter, will you PLEASE tell us what you're doing?" Mickie asked.

He still had his back turned, while working on something. "Almost done." he replied.

"With what?" asked Cena.

"Hold on...and DONE!" he exclaimed.

"TELL US!" Maria and Evan exclaimed at the same time.

"Team, meet our good friend...Shawn!" he exclaimed with a smile, holding up a cloth puppet with a tiny sized cowboy hat and stringy hair.

Stunned, all they could do was stare at him.

Meanwhile, back in the plane, the real Shawn was there in the Playas Lounge, reading a newspaper.

"Haha, Jericho thought that he could get rid of me, but NOOO, I'm stayin here whether he likes it or not! HAHA!" he laughed.

"Hey, who's in there?" Jericho asked, coming into the room.

Quickly, Shawn put on an overcoat, a fake beard, and sunglasses.

"Uh..." Jericho began, eying him.

He waved to him.

"Aren't you familiar?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, no, my name is Verben Van Shugen. I came to observe the blueberry bush." he said in a german accent. "Hinga-de-dinga-deburbon."

"Oh. Ok, then." Jericho said, leaving.

"Stupid." Shawn chuckled.

Back outside...

"DUCK!" Maria cried, while their camel spat towards them.

"Bleh!" scoffed Mickie. "I don't think I can stand dealing with this camel any longer."

Edge heard what she said and an evil smile grew on his face. "Hey, guys. How about we trade our prizes? You trade us the camel for the stick." he said, approaching them.

"Uh, and why would we want to do that?" asked Cena.

"Cause. You won't have to deal with the camel spitting on you anymore, and this stick! Oh, this stick is amazing, just one of a kind. So please, let's trade if you know what's good for ya." he explained.

They were all silent.

"Ok, let's all think logically about this." began Evan.

"DEAL!" Hunter exclaimed, snatching the stick.

"Haha. Thanks, guys!" Edge exclaimed, heading back to his team.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" asked Evan. "I mean, what are we gonna do with that?"

"I dunno, Shawn told me to do it." Hunter replied, looking at his puppet.

"Dude." John said, confused.

"SCORE!" Edge cried, bringing the camel back to his team.

"Are we even allowed to trade prizes?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah, won't Jericho catch us?" agreed Jeff.

"Aw, what that idiot doesn't know won't hurt him." he replied.

The camel spat at him.

"...Oh." Edge sighed.

"HEY, PARASITES!" Jericho exclaimed, joining them. "Ready for the next part of your challenge?"

"Hey, Jerko, look, Shawn's back!" Hunter exclaimed, waving the puppet in front of him.

"...You, need help. The rest of you, our next challenge is entitled, The Most Awesome Camel Race EVER!" he exclaimed.

"Camel race? We're in the clear!" exclaimed Punk.

"Hey, wait. I don't remember giving you guys the camel." Jericho replied suspiciously.

"You don't remember anything, dude. Like how Ria and I conned your lawyers." he said with a smile.

"Moving on!" he said quickly.

"But wait, only they have a camel. What about us?" asked Maria.

"Well, the point of the race is so that you'll be able to use all of your prizes in some way during the race. For the challenge, each team has to race to the famous waterway, the Nile River, but trust me, it's a long way from here. Use your prizes in any way you can to help get you there. Got it?" he asked.

"Yeah-I guess" they replied.

"Great, now, MOVE IT, WORMIES! First team to the finish line wins!" he exclaimed, climbing into a mini jet with Big Show.

"Hey, why can't you ever drive this thing?" he asked.

"Cause. I'm special." Jericho replied proudly.

"Yeah. And I'm a male model." he said sarcastically.

He glared at him. "Don't get smart with me!" he cried.

Meanwhile, the race began, and everyone was trying to find a way to use their prizes...

Edge quickly climbed on the camel and exclaimed, "Move your asses, people, we got a race to win here!"

"And who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Lita demanded, climbing up along with the others.

"You, you, you, you, and you, now MOVE IT, ALL OF YA!" Edge cried. "I won't be a failure because the rest of you are!"

"Call me failure one more time and I'm gonna stick my foot up your-" Matt began, while Edge backed away and nudged the camel, setting it off.

It galloped sending them all holding on for dear life.

"AAAHHH!" they cried, while Jeff looked back towards Maria as she giggled and laughed at the way he was trying to hold on.

Meanwhile...

"Ok, guys, we may not have a camel, but that's not gonna stop us, right?" Christian demanded.

"RIGHT!" Eve and Melina agreed.

"That IS right, cause we're the Peep Force 5, and we can tackle anything that's thrown in our way! This goat here's gonna lead us to victory, and those others are gonna be SO jealous of us! Cause we're representing by the peeps, to the peeps, and FOR the peeps, AM I RIGHT?" he continued.

"That's right!" agreed Melina.

"Right on, Christian!" Eve exclaimed.

"Erghhh..." Michelle sighed loudly.

Randy just glared at him.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Oh, who does Christian think he is now, the preacher for the Mighty Clouds of Joy? The Peep Force-No, the RKO Army was MY team, and by God, I'll get it back one way or another, just watch me."

Eve: "I know I'm crushing on Matt, but I do admire Christian's leadership skills...I want a fruit pop now."

-Back Outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

"All right, so how's this stick gonna help us again?" asked John.

"Ooh, ooh! I got it! Everyone, hop on!" Maria exclaimed, hopping on the stick.

Confused, the others just shrugged and stood on the stick.

"Yay! GO STICK, GO!" she exclaimed happily.

Silence.

"Why isn't it moving?" she asked.

John sighed. "Ria. Just let me handle being the leader around here, ok?" he asked with a smile, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Okay, but I still don't know what went wrong." she replied. "Jeff would know what to do."

"Ria! You're thinking about another man when you're with Punk?" Mickie asked, surprised.

"No! I-I mean, things between Punk and I are going fine and I-" she began.

"You don't sound so happy." she replied. "Are things between you and him going ok?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I'm not as happy as I used to be with him." she said quietly.

"You're saying you'd be happier with Jeff, am I right?" she asked with a smirk.

Before she could answer, "Hey, why do YOU get to be leader?" demanded Hunter. "Why can't I be leader? Or Shawn here?"

John looked at the puppet and back at him. "That's why." he replied, leading the way.

"Hmph!" Hunter scoffed, following his team. "Well, what else can we use the stick for?"

"Hey, maybe it's for direction, y'know, to help us see which way we can find the river!" exclaimed Evan.

"Great idea, Evan!" exclaimed Mickie.

He blushed. "Heh heh. Thanks." he smiled, then tossing the stick in the air.

Silence.

"Where'd it go?" asked Maria.

After that, a dead bird fell down, followed by the stick.

"Oh, Evan." John said, shaking his head.

"Ok, let's just leave now." he said quickly.

Hunter went back to look at the bird. "Poor bird." he said.

"DON'T LOOK AT IT!" John exclaimed, while Hunter quickly joined them.

Meanwhile...

On the goat, the team had no choice but to literally pile on top of each other in order to ride the goat, with Randy underneath everyone else. The poor goat struggled just to carry all of them.

"Isn't this fun?" asked Eve. "We're all here together, just trailing along on a nice little goat in the desert. Fun, very fun."

"Yeah...2 miles per hour in 120 degree weather." Melina said with a weak smile. "Fun."

"God, this goat has the stench of...rotten gym socks!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Gym socks can't rot." replied Eve.

"WHATEVER!" she replied. "Oh, well. This'll do." she said, spraying a bunch of her perfume on the goat, drenching everyone else at the same time.

While they all coughed, Melina cried, "Orale...What are you trying to do, kill us?"

"Shut up..." she said, tired.

"I knew we'd have the team spirit, you guys! That's how to Peep Force 5 does business!" exclaimed Christian.

"I hate my life." Randy said, defeated.

A few minutes later, Jericho hovered over them with the jet. "_HEY, WORMS, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" _he exclaimed.

"WHO CARES?" Edge called back.

_"WELL, YOU SHOULD CARE ONCE THESE SCARAB BEETLES ATTACK YA!"_

"Beetles? Aw, come on, I hate bugs!" Kelly cried.

"I'd rather the band come back instead, but it'll never be." Lita said with a sigh. "I love the Beatles."

After that, Jericho tipped over a couple of giant containers, while the beetles spewed out towards them.

"AAH!" Mickie exclaimed, hopping into Evan's arms.

He smiled and replied, "It's gonna be all right, Mickie. I'll protect you."

She smiled back. "Oh, Evan..." she replied.

"WHAA!" they cried, once they both fell down.

"Never mind." he said meekly.

While the beetles crawled towards them, Jericho continued, "_OK, THE BEETLES THAT ARE TRYING TO ATTACK YOU ARE IN MATING SEASON, SO THEY'RE DANGEROUS!"_

_*DING DING*_

"Oh, God, not again." Matt muttered.

"_THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S SINGING TIME! YOU GUYS HAVE TO SING SOME KIND OF SONG THAT'LL DISTRACT THE BEETLES! SO...SING.."_

"What are we gonna sing this time?" asked Melina.

"Something perfect to describe this weather!" Maria exclaimed, while the song 'Heatwave' began playing.

Mickie: "Whenever I'm with you..."

Christian/Eve/Evan: "Something inside..."

Melina/Kelly/Michelle: "Starts to burn..."

Punk/Maria: "And I'm filled with desire..."

Melina: "Could it be the devil in me?"

Mickie/Kelly: "Or is this the way life's supposed to be..."

Michelle/Melina/Eve: "It's like a heatwave!"

Randy/Lita/Matt: "Burning in my heart.."

Maria/Hunter/Eve: "Can't keep from cryin..."

Punk/Melina: "It's tearin me apart..."

John/Eve: "Whenever she calls my name..."

Evan/Mickie: "So low, sweet and plain..."

Edge/Michelle/Lita: "Right then..."

Jeff/Kelly: "Right then.."

Punk: "I feel that burning flame..."

Mickie/Eve/Maria: "That high blood pressure got a hold on me..."

Evan/Melina: "Or is this the way love's supposed to be..."

Hunter/Christian/John: "It's like a heatwave! (yeah!)"

Kelly/Mickie/Lita: "Burning in my heaaart!"

Michelle/Maria/Melina: "Can't keep from crying..."

Christian/Edge: "It's tearin me apart! (whoo!)"

*interlude*

Evan: "Sometimes I stare into space..."

Punk/Maria: "Tears all over my face..."

Michelle/Melina/Eve: "I can't explain it..."

Mickie: "Don't understand it!"

Hunter: "I ain't never felt like this before!"

Edge/Michelle: "Now that funny feeling..."

Matt/Eve: "Has me amazed..."

Jeff/Kelly: "Don't know what to do..."

Lita/Maria: "My head's in a haze!"

Mickie/Christian/Melina: "It's like a heatwave!"

Kelly: "Burning in my heart..."

Hunter: "Keep, CRYIN!"

Maria: "It's tearing me apart!"

All: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

John: "Do I sing now?"

"CENA!" his team exclaimed, while the beetles got restless again.

"What'd I say?" he demanded.

While the song ended, the goat finally woke up and started speeding Team Peep Force 5 first, followed by Team Misfits on camel, and then The Deadly Bunnies speeding last on foot.

After a while, Team Misfits gained the lead, and the Peeps were following in second.

"Wow, we're in the lead! I never thought we'd make it this far!" exclaimed Kelly.

"It's a miracle, I'll tell you that." agreed Jeff.

"No, it was pure luck." replied Matt. "See, luck is different than a miracle, cause-"

"Dude, don't correct me, all right?" he asked, annoyed.

"Aww, intimidated my my intelligence, little brother?" he asked with a smirk.

"I'm not 'Little Brother', I have a name!" Jeff argued.

"Guys, try to cool it down, ok? It's too hot out here to be fighting." Lita replied.

"Oh, it's hot all right." Punk muttered with a half smile, glancing at Kelly.

"Excuse me?" she asked, looking at him.

"Uh, I-I-I mean, the weather! Not you, I-I mean, you ARE very attractive, but I mean-" he stuttered.

Kelly and the others continued to stare at him.

"I'm gonna shut up now." Punk finished with a smile.

"I'm gonna tell Maria you were flirting with another woman!" Edge exclaimed.

"Do that and die!" Punk cried, pinching his mouth closed. "I wasn't flirting!"

* * *

-Cockpit hidden camera-

Punk: "I WASN'T!"

Big Show: "Looked like it to me."

Punk: "Who asked you?"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

The goat was trying its hardest to bring the team to victory.

"Second place, damn it, goat, MOVE!" Randy cried.

"Hey, don't yell at the poor goat! It must be hard for him to carry all of us at a time!" Eve exclaimed.

"Maybe the heaviest person has to go and we'll move faster." replied Michelle. "Yo, Melina, get off."

She gasped and shoved her aside. "Estupid!" she cried in Spanish. "You don't even have any meat to back you up, Bones!"

"Who are you calling Bones, you short little Mexican squirt?" Michelle demanded.

"At least I got a pair of Chi chi's, I don't see yours anywhere!" Melina argued with a smile.

"Hey!" Randy and Christian exclaimed, excited.

"Shut up!" Michelle argued, while the two got in a slap fight.

"Girls-AH!-GIRLS!" cried Eve. "Now's not the time and place to be doing all this! Slap fighting on a goat, please."

"Yeah, we're supposed to be a team, remember?" agreed Christian. "Now we gotta find a way to beat the Misfits."

"We go that way." Randy replied, seeing another path. "It's probably a shortcut."

"How do you know?" asked Eve.

"I KNOW!" he replied. "Now, move it, goat!"

The goat almost bit him again, but turned around and went down the path.

Meanwhile...

"Hey, I don't see the Peeps anymore." Jeff said, looking back. "Wonder what happened to them."

"That goat of theirs probably got em lost. Works for us, we're still winning!" replied Punk.

"I want a corn dog." announced Edge.

"Nobody likes you." replied Lita.

"I'm COOL!" Edge argued, crossing his arms.

"I hope Maria's all right out there." replied Jeff.

"Wow, dude, you haven't stopped talking about her since the first challenge." Lita replied. "Spill, do you have a thing for her?"

Kelly listened in, too. "Yeah, Jeff, do you?" she demanded.

"Yeah!" agreed Punk. "Everytime I see you, you're always glancing towards her. May I remind you, she's my girlfriend."

"Look, guys, whatever you're all thinking, it's wrong. I don't have a crush on Maria! I love Kelly, and nobody's gonna change that." he said, not even believing himself.

"Aww." she smiled, giving him a kiss. "That's more like it." she said, while Lita knew that he was lying.

"I'm cool." announced Edge.


	4. Ep 2, pt 2

Meanwhile...

"So Shawn, is it hot out here or what?" Hunter asked the puppet.

Silence.

"Yeah, I agree." he replied.

"Uhh...Hunter, I've been meaning to ask you something." Mickie said slowly.

"Yeah?"

"The real Shawn's not here, so you decided to replace him with a puppet?" she asked.

"What choice do I have? He's my partner in crime, the Barney Rubble to my Fred Flintstone, the Cagney to my Lacey, the-"

"DUDE! We get it!" John replied.

"Ok. Besides, he looks just like Shawn, doesn't he?" he asked.

Evan studied it. "Is that a sock?" he asked.

"His hair isn't made of string." replied Mickie.

"No...just no." John replied.

"They could be twins!" Maria exclaimed happily, while the three looked at her.

"Thank you, Maria." Hunter told her. "Shawn says thanks, too."

"You're welcome!" she agreed. "Uh, hey, guys, haven't we already passed by that cactus?"

"Come to think of it, we did." agreed Mickie.

"Yeah, like 2 times." added Evan.

"So all this time, we've been walking in circles?" demanded John. "And we STILL don't know what to use this stick for!"

"I like sticks." Maria said with a smile.

"Ok, Maria, tell me. Are you and Punk on the verge of breaking up?" asked Mickie.

"No!" she exclaimed, surprised. "Not at all, I..." Mickie looked at her. "Oh, I dunno, Mickie. I-I just don't feel the same about him as I used to."

"But you two almost got married over the summer!" she exclaimed.

"And we backed out of it, which was good for the both of us." finished Maria.

"Wow, you two've been together since the beginning. You really want to split up with him?" Mickie asked while Maria looked thoughtful.

After a while, Team Peep Force 5 were the first to finally reach the river!

"VICTORY!" Randy cried, leaping off the goat and shoving everyone off of him.

"We really did it! We're first!" exclaimed Eve, giving Christian a hug. "We wouldn't have gotten here if it wasn't for you, Christian."

He blushed a bit. "Aw, well a Peep's gotta do what a Peep's gotta do." he said with a smile. "So, where's the finish line?"

_"YOO HOO!" _Jericho cried through a bullhorn, over the other side of the river along with Big Show. _"CONGRATULATIONS, PARASITES FOR MAKING IT TO THE THIRD CHALLENGE! THE FINISH LINE IS ACTUALLY ON OUR SIDE, AND YOU GUYS HAVE TO WEAVE A BOAT USING WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND IN THE WATER, SO YOU CAN USE THE BOAT TO GET YOURSELVES AND YOUR PRIZE TO THE OTHER SIDE! I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT! HAHAHAHAHA!"_

"Damn, I should've known there was more." Christian replied.

"No, this is great!" exclaimed Eve.

"And just why is that?" asked Michelle.

"Cause! I've been weaving stuff since I was a little girl! I'm a pro at this kinda stuff!" she exclaimed.

"Well, as long as I don't have to do any work, it's fine with me." she replied.

"Flojo." Melina told her.

"Stop speaking Spanish to me!" she argued.

"That's great, Eve. We'll help you." Christian replied.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Randy exclaimed, while the goat chased him around.

Meanwhile...

"There goes the cactus again." announced Hunter.

"Hi, cactus!" greeted Maria.

"This is ridiculous! We're still lost, and on top of that, we're probably dead last!" exclaimed Cena. "And this stick is useless!"

After he tossed it, though, Evan noticed something. "Hey, hold on." he said, taking the stick and holding it so that the Y end was facing up, and the pointy end was facing the ground.

"What are you doing, Evan?" asked Maria.

"That's what I thought! Guys, this isn't just a stick! It's a dowsing rod!" he exclaimed.

"A whating what?" asked Hunter.

"A dowsing rod. It's used to locate water. Now if I just walk around and see where it moves...aha! The river has to be this way!" he exclaimed pointing northwest.

"Wow, great work, Evan-Awesome job!" they exclaimed, while they all headed off.

"You are a life saver!" Mickie exclaimed, giving him another hug.

He smiled. "Life is good." he replied before running into the cactus. "OW! I'm ok."

Meanwhile...

"God, why aren't we there yet?" Kelly asked, tired. "I'm so tired."

"Me, too." agreed Jeff. "I wish we had some water or something."

"I got some." Edge replied, taking out a bottle. "And you CAN'T HAVE ANY!"

Before he could drink, though, Lita flung the bottle out of his hand. "Failure." she told him.

"Haha. Nice one." Matt chuckled.

"Thanks." she smiled back.

"Ehh." Edge growled, crossing his arms.

"Ok, I'm tired of dragging around in this heat. Yo, Camel, which way do we go?" asked Punk.

"Dude, you can't ask the camel for directions!" Jeff exclaimed with a chuckle. "That's something I'd expect from Edge."

"Oh, sure, just bash on me all you want!" he cried sarcastically. "Thank you!"

"True, but we're desperate." he replied.

"I know this sounds silly, but maybe we have to talk to him in a language that he'll understand." Kelly replied.

"I SPEAK ENGLISH!" Edge cried.

"I'm talking about the camel!" she cried back. "Um...nipnipnipnipnip-click click-nipnip-nipnip!"

Everyone else just looked in surprise.

The camel nodded back and headed in another direction.

"Whoa, Kel did that camel really understand you?" Jeff asked, surprised.

"I guess so! Hey, there's the river up ahead!" she exclaimed.

"Great job, K2! And there's the Peeps, too." added Punk.

After a few minutes, they joined the Peeps, who were still building their boat.

"K2?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah, it's just a little nickname that I just thought of." Punk replied with a chuckle.

"Cool. I like it." she smiled, while Jeff looked towards the two.

"CHRISTIAN!" Edge exclaimed.

"Edge, haven't seen you in a while, bro!" he exclaimed, sharing a handshake with him. "Got lost somewhere?"

"Yeah, it was all my team's fault." he replied.

Matt kicked some sand in his face.

"BAH!" he cried.

"Hi, Matt!" Eve exclaimed, shoving past Lita and giving him a hug.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "And here we freakin go again!"

-Back Outside-

* * *

"Eve." he replied.

"I was wondering where you guys were! I was worried about you!" she exclaimed.

"Ok, give him some space and go back to your own team. We've got our own race to win here." Lita replied, shoving her away.

"Nobody's talking to you, Lita." Eve replied, shoving her back.

"Can you just get lost somewhere, Chica?" she demanded, shoving her back. "Before I GET you lost?"

"Oh, what are you gonna do, be angry at me?" she asked angrily.

"No, what I'm gonna do is tie this rope around your neck-" she cried, about to strike her, before Matt broke them up.

"Girls, will you please just knock it off? Eve, maybe you should go back to your team for now." he replied, while Lita smiled.

She shot an evil glare towards Lita. "Wait till we get back on the plane." she muttered.

"Yeah, up yours." Lita replied, joining her team.

There was a few seconds of silence, until Jeff said, "Uh, so guys, what do we have to do? Where's the finish line?"

"Well, the finish line's all the way across the river." replied Melina. "And we have to weave a boat with whatever we can find around here."

"And we gotta make sure we bring our prizes with us, or else the win doesn't count." added Christian.

"How are we supposed to be able to carry this camel with us?" demanded Punk.

"I dunno, but you have to." he replied.

"...Can any of you guys lift a camel?" Edge asked.

Everyone looked at him.

"Ok." he finished.

After a while, both teams were halfway finished with their boats, while Team Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad finally joined them.

"FINALLY!" exclaimed Hunter. "But we're last."

"We can still try to make a comeback. Hey, where's the-" began John.

"Finish line's on the other side, and we gotta weave boats in order to bring us and our prizes along with us." Melina said quickly. "Got it? Ok, good."

"...Can you guys build us a boat?" asked Hunter.

"NO." they all replied.

"Please? For Shawn?" he asked.

Randy looked at him. "Is that a puppet?" he asked.

"Who has to know?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Ok, guys, looks like our boat's ready. Somehow." Lita announced.

"Looks a little, um..." began Kelly.

"Like crap?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah." she agreed.

"Well, crap or not, we gotta make it work. Let's get the camel in first." announced Matt. "Camel, go."

It stood there.

"NOW." he repeated.

No reply.

"Kelly, try talking to it again." replied Punk.

"Ok. nipnipnip-click-nipnip-click click-nipnipnip!" she chittered.

No reply.

"Oh, I guess it only works once. Sorry." she replied.

"It's ok. We just gotta force it to go inside." replied Lita. "C'mon."

While they used all their strength to push the camel inside, it didn't budge.

"Well, I have to speak for all of us when I say, we're screwed." Edge announced.

"See you guys later!" Michelle called, while her team's boat, and Team Deadly Bunny's boat sailed off. "Oh, wait, NOT! HAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed.

"Aww, they're leaving without us!" cried Punk. "We gotta do something!"

"Hmm. Let me try again." Kelly said. "Nipnipnipnipnip-clickclick-nip nip! Nip nip nip!"

After that, the camel casually stepped into the boat.

"YEAH! WOO HOO!" they cheered.

"Great work, Kel, now let's get the hell outta here!" Punk exclaimed, while they sailed off next.

"Well, I need another twinkie. And a better side job, while I'm at it." Big Show announced.

"Oh, quiet. Hmm. Well, they're all off. Seems like this challenge was too easy for em, but I got just the thing to wake them up." replied Jericho.

"Oh no." he muttered.

*DING DING!*

"ANOTHER one?" demanded Edge. "This is getting ridiculous!"

"_YO, WORMS! TIME FOR SOME MORE SINGING! NOW, IF CENA HADN'T SCREWED UP THE LAST SONG, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE SINGING THIS ONE!" _he called.

Everyone glared angrily at him.

"Aw, criminy. It was an ACCIDENT! Jeez!" he exclaimed.

"Well, Maria, got any songs we should sing?" asked Mickie.

"Hmm...let's try this one..." she began, playing 'I Got You Babe' on her ipod.

While the song began, they noticed a bunch of alligators roaming around their boat.

"Hey, Cena, if the alligators try to stop us, just fend em off with something, ok?" asked Evan.

"No problem." he replied.

Kelly: "They say we're young..."

Punk: "And we don't know…"

Melina: "We won't find out…"

Eve/Christian.: "Untiiiil we grow…"

Maria: "Well I don't know…"

Michelle: "If all that's true…"

Mickie: "Cause you got me…"

Lita: "And baby I got you…"

All: "Babe!"

Melina: "Dun dun, dun dun.." Edge: *laughs*

Matt/Eve: "I got you babe!"

Hunter: *whistles* Michelle: "Dun dun!"

Maria: "I got you babe!"

Punk (in high pitched voice): "Bow bow, bow bow!"

Mickie: "They say our love won't pay the rent…"

Kelly: "Before it's earned…"

Eve: "Our money's all been spent!"

Jeff: "I guess it's so…"

Punk: "We don't have a pot…"

Michelle: "But at least I'm sure…"

Melina: "Of all the things we got…"

Eve: "Babe! *giggles*"

Randy: "I got you babe."

Kelly: *laughs*

Hunter: "I got you babe!"

Evan: "I got flowers…"

Jeff: *holds out flower*

Melina: "In the spring…"

Eve: "I got you…"

Evan: *awkward chuckle*

Christian/Eve/Maria/Mickie: "To wear my ring!"

Hunter: "Ah!"

Punk: "When I'm sad…"

Maria: "You're a clown!"

Eve: "And if I get scared…"

Evan/Mickie: "You're always aroooound!"

Lita: "So let them say you're hair's too long…"

Evan: "Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong!"

Melina (speaks): "See how fun it is?"

Jeff: "Then put your little hand in mine…"

Michelle: "There ain't no hill…"

Christian: "Or mountain we can't climb…"

Edge: "Babe!"

Randy: "I got you babe."

Kelly: "I got you babe…"

Lita (smirks): "I gotcha, babe."

Edge (speaks): "I got you…to hold my hand!"

Maria: "I got you to understand!"

Punk: "I got you to walk with me."

Eve: "I got you to talk with me!"

Melina: "I got you to kiss goodnight."

Jeff: "I got you to hold me tight."

Evan: "I got you, I won't let go!"

Mickie: "I got you to love me sooo…"

The song continued while they kept rowing, while John caught an alligator. "Uh, this'll do." he replied, using the stick to fend it off...only, the alligator ate the stick. "Oh, God. I'm in trouble." he said quietly.

While the song was winding up, Team Misfits gained the lead, with Team Peep Force 5 in second, and Team Deadly Bunny in third. When the song ended, the Misfits crossed the finish line first, followed by Team Peep Force 5, and The Deadly Bunnies coming in last.

"WOO HOO!" Team Misfits cheered. They finished the song, "I…got…you…baaabe…!"

While Lita and Matt knuckle punched in victory, Eve growled. "Hmm."

"So, who won and who lost so's we can get this over with?" asked Michelle.

"Well, as long as you still have your prizes with you, you're safe." replied Jericho.

Team Misfits had their camel, Team Peep Force 5 had their goat, but everyone on the Deadly Bunny team looked for the stick.

"Ok, where's the stick?" asked Hunter.

"Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but I kinda lost it." Cena replied meekly.

"WHAT?" his team demanded angrily.

"This just really isn't your day, is it, John?" asked Maria.

"Don't hate!" he replied sadly.

"Well, well, well." Jericho chuckled. "Well, you guys lost the challenge, and since Team Misfits crossed the finish line first, they get to stay in the Playas lounge in the plane for the night."

"YES! WOOHOO!" they cheered again.

"I love you guys!" exclaimed Edge, about to hug them.

"Wha-get lost!" Matt exclaimed, glaring at him.

Back on the plane...

"Hey, Ria." Punk said, giving her a kiss.

"Hey, CM." she replied. "Your team's lucky. Wish I could say the same for mine." she replied.

"Yeah, well...Ria, you all right?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, why?"

"You seem distant again. Is there something else that I did that upset you?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Everytime you get all mad, the blame gets placed on me!" he replied. "Just what did I do this time, Ria?"

"Who said that I was mad?" she demanded.

"You are right now!" he argued back. "I'm sick of this, Maria, everytime we try to talk, we always end up arguing about something and I'm getting sick of it."

"Punk, I have other problems right now. As if you weren't aware, I may be eliminated tonight, remember?" she asked. "So, why don't you just go back into your little first class lounge and party it up and you can find out tomorrow if I'm still even here, ok?"

He snarled at her. "You're such a drama queen sometimes, I swear." he replied before he headed off. She sighed heavily and took out her green rock, before hearing Jeff's voice from behind.

"Uh, Ria, everything ok?" he asked. She whipped around.

"Oh, hey, Jeff! Uh, how much of that did you see?" she asked.

"Most of it." he replied. "Don't let him be such a jerk to you, Ria. You don't deserve this."

She smiled. "I'll be ok, but thanks for worrying." she replied. "Hey, just in case I do leave, I want you to have this rock that I found. To remember me by."

After she handed it to him, he said, "Wow, it's beautiful, thanks. But what makes you so sure that you're leaving?" he asked.

"I dunno, but I just want you to have it." she replied. "Oh, I gotta get going. See you tomorrow, hopefully."

"Trust me, you'll survive this one, Red. If not, call me and I'll beat the crap outta Jericho for you." he smirked while she laughed.

_"YOU WISH YOU COULD!" _Jericho exclaimed from somewhere.

After they laughed, she said, "You're always so protective of me."

"Hey, you're my best friend. It's my job." he replied, smiling towards her as she headed off and smiled back at him.

During the elimination ceremony on the plane...

"Ok, Deadly Bunnies, since Cena brought you all here, here's how elimination goes. In the porta potty confessional over there, there's passports of every competitor on your team. All you gotta do is use the stamp provided to mark the competitor that you want out. Now, GO GO GO!" Jericho exclaimed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "Hmm...ooh! Stamping is fun!" *stamps everyone's passports*

Hunter: "Done and done. *stamps* "

John: "Well, maybe they won't turn on me. *stamps*"

Evan: "Uh...let's look at this from different angles" "-_Jericho: HURRY UP!" _"OK! God!"

Mickie: *fixes up hair and applies lip gloss* "Oh, almost forgot. *stamps* "

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ok, let's see what we have here. Cena, Cena, Cena-what's this mess?" he asked. "Maria?"

"I liked stamping, so what?" she asked innocently.

"And Hunter." he said.

"Yo, who voted for me?" he demanded.

"I only did it cause I'm worried about you and that puppet!" John exclaimed.

"Well, stop it!" he crossed his arms.

"Well, Cena, this is no big surprise, but you're eliminated! Here's your parachute, and you got 5 seconds to get out." Jericho told him. "Use them wisely."

"Come on, guys, I made a couple of mistakes, but that doesn't mean you gotta turn on me like-WHOA!" he cried once Jericho kicked him out.

"That felt so good." he said with a smile.

Outside, John didn't fall out, since he held on to the back wing of the plane. "He tried to get rid of me once and he can't do it again. I'm gonna prove to everyone there that I can win this! They can't see me, hahahahahaha!" he laughed.

Back inside, Shawn was casually reading his newspaper, when he didn't realize that he walked and met up with everyone else. "Haha, that Garfield-*looks up* O-Oh, hey everyone!" he exclaimed.

"Shawn!" exclaimed Mickie. "You're still here?"

"Well, not for long." he said meekly, seeing Jericho behind him.

"Verben Van Shugen, yeah right." he said with a smirk.

"Shawn, where've you been, man? I've had to use this puppet of you to keep your presence alive!" exclaimed Hunter.

He took a look at the puppet. "...You replace me with THAT?" he demanded.

"Well, if you're still gonna be here, then I won't need this anymore." replied Hunter. "He gets to stay, right?"

"Nope. Last stop for all non participating contestants!" he exclaimed.

"Wait, don't I just get a ride home?" Shawn demanded.

"No." Jericho replied, handing him a parachute and kicking him out of the plane.

Desperate to save him, Hunter leaped to try and catch him, but it was too late. "NOOOOOO!" he cried. "Shawn, I could've saved you!"

*parachute goes up* "_I'M GOOD!"_ he called back. _"And get rid of that puppet!"_

"Geez, you just love to crush everyone's happiness, huh, Jerko?" Hunter demanded.

"Yeah, it gives me joy." he replied with a smile, while Maria looked aside and saw someone heading off, before she saw the green rock on the floor for her. Knowing who was there, she smiled. Jericho ruined the moment though and exclaimed, "See you parasites in TV land next week!"


	5. Episode 3: Tokyo

Total WWE, World Tour: Tokyo A Go-Go 

Episode #3

"What's crack-a lackin, worms? The codebreaker here, Chris Jericho with another bizarre episode of TWWT! But first let's recap. Last week in our vacation in Egypt, the new teams were formed, and some were happy, while others were ready to kill one another. The challenge of the day was entitled, The Most Awesome Camel Race EVER!, where each team had to race their way to find the Nile River. For The Misfits, it seemed pretty simple considering that they actually had a camel, but with all the animosity between their teammates, the trip was anything but soothing. Team Peep Force 5 was in full swing with their goat, with a motivational speech by Christian to get the team all revved up. As for Randy, well, he didn't give a damn. The Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad had only a stick to help them out, and had to find the river on foot. During their long and tiring walk, Hunter created a reincarnation of his buddy Shawn, in puppet form! But maybe he needs counseling instead. After countless arguing, singing through a nest of attacking scarab beetles, and Cena screwing up the song, each team was off to win! Team Misfits were in the lead, and Punk made a little flirty note towards Kelly, but he denies any accusations! But will Maria ever find out? Team Peep Force 5 were in second place, where Michelle and Melina got themselves in another catfight, but after Orton found themselves a valuable shortcut, they were leading the pack. Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah were dead last, and were still lost from everyone else. But later, Evan the brainiac finally showed his team what the stick was really for, and they were off to join the others. At the river, Team Peep Force 5, followed by Team Misfits, and Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah all raced to weave boats in order to drag themselves and their prizes across to the finish line. Eve and Lita almost had another fallout, but Matt broke them up before things could get catty. After singing another song to get them across the river, every team seemed to have their prizes, except for the Deadly Bunnies, where Cena (big surprise) lost their team's prize, and because of that, the team lost, and Cena was voted out next during the elimination ceremony. This week, we're visiting good ol' Japan! How long will it take Randy to get his team back? Will Hunter get the psychological help that he needs with that puppet? And will Jeff and Maria show feelings towards one another? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge in the Jumbo Jet of Fun, Team Misfits were still enjoying their win from the last contest...

Edge was snoring quite loudly, bothering the others at the same time.

"Aw, criminy, can someone shut him up?" demanded Matt, annoyed.

Punk chuckled. "I got this." he replied, plugging Edge's nose.

He then began snorting and coughing. "Aah!" he cried, waking up and slapping Punk at the same time.

"OW! Jerk!" he snapped back.

Meanwhile, Kelly was talking a mile a minute while Jeff saw that he got a text message from Maria.

**MK: I saw u spying on me the other day :)**

**JH: How'd you know?**

**MK: I gots the rock that I gave you.**

**JH: Oh oops. Well since you're still here, I wanted you to have it for now. And I'm really glad you're still here, BTW :)**

**MK: :) I miss U.**

**JH: I miss U 2. *sends u a skittle***

**MK: *eats skittle and does happy dance* Oops, Eve's yelling me again. Gots to go, bye! XOXO**

While Jeff smiled at the text, he looked up to see an angry Kelly glaring at him. "Jeff did you listen to a damn thing that I said?"

"Yeah, sure, sure." he replied quickly.

She sighed. "Like I said. You never listen to me anymore. Why do I even bother with you anymore?"

"I'm sorry, ok?" he asked, a little annoyed.

While she crossed her arms, Punk said, "Kel, will a nice tasty smoothie make you feel better?"

She smiled. "Thank you." she replied.

"So, what's in these things, anyway?" Lita asked Big Show, who was strolling by with more drinks.

"Oh, some tangerine, lemon, cherry, sugar, and lots and lots of penicillin." he replied.

Everyone stopped slurping and looked shocked.

"Surprise, surprise." Matt announced dully, tossing his drink out the window.

While Kelly suddenly got sick and started throwing up outside the window, Punk guiltily replied, "Oops, sorry, Kel." He turned around. "Uh, you can go now." he told Show.

"Ok." he replied, heading off.

While Lita chuckled and tossed her drink out the window, Punk snickered and dumped his drink down Edge's pants. "Shh." he told the others.

Once he woke up again and noticed, he replied, "Aw, don't tell me I wet myself again! I stopped doing that when I was like, 8!"

"Eight?" Punk asked, shocked.

"Don't question him, just leave him be so he'll shut up for once." Matt replied.

Then, he checked his cell and found a message from Eve, which said, "**Hi, Matt? How R U? R U OK? I miss u, plz reply! XOXOXO - Eve :)**"

"Who's that from?" asked Lita.

"Eve." he replied. "She's checking up on me again."

"Let me see that." she replied, taking his phone and typing a message.

Meanwhile, in the lunch room...

"He's so sweet." Maria smiled.

"Who, Punk?" asked Eve.

"No, Jeff." she replied. "He was there for my team's elimination ceremony just to make sure that I didn't get eliminated."

"Aww, that is sweet! You know, Ria, I've noticed that you've been talking a lot less about Punk and a lot more about Jeff. What's going on with you?" asked Eve.

"Everyone keeps asking me that! Since you're my best friend, I'm only telling you this." she said.

"Ooh, this is serious. Spill." replied Eve.

"I'm thinking about ending things with Punk. I'm just tired of the way he's been treating me, and aside from that, I can't stop thinking about Jeff." she replied. "Whenever he's near, I get all tingly inside and his voice, oh, that sweet Southern accent just gets me." she sighed happily. "I know that he's my best friend, but I've always had a huge crush on him."

"Wow. You guys would make a totally sweet couple, but you know that he's with Kelly." she replied.

"That's the problem. And with us being on different teams, he and I are never gonna happen." she said sadly.

Eve checked her phone to find a new message. "Aw, Ria, you gotta think positive! You-Oh, yay, Matt replied! Let's see." she said, reading a message that said, "**Hey, Chica, Lita sez get lost before I shove this phone down your throat! :( **_" _Angry, she slammed her phone closed and grumbled, "Lita."

"Ouch. I wish you two weren't like this. You're both my friends!" exclaimed Maria.

"Oh, still fighting with her, I see." announced Melina, joining them.

"I cannot stand her for always getting in my business!" she exclaimed angrily. "Gosh, I never hated anyone more than I hate her right now."

"Well, you're on separate teams now, so don't worry about her." replied Christian. "The Peep Force Five has gotta concentrate on winning so's we don't have to sleep on that wall again."

"Yeah, you know how uncomfy it is trying to sleep upright on that thing while it's vibrating?" asked Melina.

"Uh, actually, I find the vibrating pretty nice. Kinda makes you feel good." he replied with a smile.

The girls looked at him.

"You wouldn't understand." he finished.

While he had his back turned, Randy was creeping up behind him, ready to dump his drink over his head, but before he could, Christian flipped the drink out of Randy's hand and the drink splattered all over him and Michelle.

"OH!" they cried in shock.

"Oh, hey, guys! Oh, look at the mess. Try not to be so clumsy next time, eh?" he asked, while the girls giggled.

Without replying, the two stormed back in another direction.

"Eh?" imitated Michelle.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Why does that Christian have to be so damn slick all the time? That's supposed to be my job! Well, I know one thing. My next approach is to get him eliminated next, and then the team will be mine for sure!"

Michelle: "I really feel bad for my poor Randy! He has so much potential and those others, they don't even care! Well, I don't give a damn what they think, I'm standing behind my man 100%. But as for challenges today, don't expect me to do much. I'm too flawless to work." _Melina: "FLOJO PERRO!" _Michelle: "SHUT UUUP!"

-Back Outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

"I'm always so afraid of riding on this junky plane!" exclaimed Melina. "Like, what if we crash or something? I don't wanna die!"

"We're not gonna die, Mel." replied Mickie. "Jericho can't let that happen to us or else he's screwed!"

"Yeah, I heard that planes were like, the safest mode of transportation." agreed Evan.

After that, a big, gaping hole ripped into the plane!

"AAHHH!" they cried, holding onto whatever they could.

"Well, this is wonderful." announced Hunter, while the Shawn puppet he was holding nearly flew out of his hand. "SHAWN! I'LL SAVE YA, BUDDY!"

Before it could fly out, Hunter grabbed the puppet, but ended up clogging the hole in the plane, too.

"YAY!" the team cheered.

"Great work, Hunter!" exclaimed Evan.

"This ain't fun, eh, Shawn?" he asked.

Silence.

"Hey, don't you talk to me like that!" he shouted.

Then...

_"Attention, passengers, please meet me near the front of the plane for your next challenge!" _Jericho exclaimed on the intercom.

"Uh...somebody get us out, please?" Hunter asked, half outside.

Later...

"Konichiwa, parasites!" he exclaimed. "And how are all of you on this bright new day?"

"Shawn says hi, Jerko." Hunter announced.

"Oh, will you get rid of that sock?" demanded Randy.

"He's not a sock, he's Shawn!" he argued.

"...Wonderful." Jericho replied, confused. "Anyways, your next challenge is gonna take place in Tokyo, Japan, isn't that exciting?"

"Cool!-Awesome!" they exclaimed.

"KUNG FU!" Christian exclaimed, kicking Randy.

"OW!" he cried.

"Ooh, ooh! Will we meet Bruce Lee? Or Jet Li? Or Jackie Chan?" Edge exclaimed.

"Hey, Edge, see the hand? Look at the hand, are you looking at it?" asked Jericho.

"Yeah, I see it!"

Then, he slapped the back of his head. "Now zip it!"

"Hey, Chris, can I come out now?" Show asked, wearing a samurai costume.

The gang laughed.

"Dear God." Matt muttered, embarrassed.

"Chris, they're laughing at me again!" he complained. "Can I beat the crap outta them?"

"I'd let you, but we got other stuff to do today." he replied.

"Ok, well I got another idea." he replied, using the sword he was holding to slice the plane open, and a huge gust of air sent everyone flying out of the plane!

"AAAHH!" they all screamed.

"AVENGE ME, CRUEL WORLD!" Punk cried.

"HAHAHAHA!" Jeff laughed crazily.

*DING DING!*

"HEY, WORMS! TIME FOR ANOTHER SONG!" Jericho called.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" demanded Randy.

"Don't complain, let's just get it over with." replied Melina. "Maria?"

"Yay!" she exclaimed, playing Chumbawumba's 'Tubthumping' on her ipod.

All: "We'll be singing, when we're winning, we'll be singing...I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down...

Kelly: "Pissing the night away," Lita: "Pissing the night away..."

Jeff: "He drinks a Whiskey drink," Matt: "He drinks a Vodka drink,"

Hunter: "He drinks a Lager drink," Punk: "He drinks a Cider drink,"

Christian: "He sings the songs that remind him of the good times..."

Edge: "He sings the songs that remind him of the better times!"

Michelle: "Oh, Danny Boy," Melina: "Danny Boy," Eve: "Danny Boy..."

All: "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down..."

Maria: "Pissing the night away," Mickie: "Pissing the night away..."

Randy: "He drinks a Whiskey drink," Evan: "He drinks a Vodka drink,"

Jeff: "He drinks a Lager drink," Christian: "He drinks a Cider drink,"

Punk: "He sings the songs that remind him of the good times..."

Hunter: "He sings the songs that remind him of the better times!"

Eve: "Don't cry for me, next door neighbor..."

As the song finished, the gang finally arrived in Japan, where they all landed in this huge bowl of rice.

"Whoa, that was intense." announced Lita.

"WHEE! Rice party!" Maria exclaimed, tossing the stuff around.

"Hmm!" Hunter thought, tasting some of it before spitting it back out. "Ok, who left fake rice in here and tried to poison me and Shawn?" he demanded.

Meanwhile, Matt was getting the stuff off of himself, before smiling evilly and tossing it towards Jeff.

He whipped around and caught him with a handful of rice in his hand. "Oops." he replied sarcastically.

"Dude, stop throwing stuff at me!" Jeff argued, tossing a handful of rice back at him. "And you call ME the immature one?"

"HEY!" he cried, dodging the rice. "I only did that to see what you'd do! If you weren't so immature, you wouldn't exacerbate the situation and retaliate, right?"

"Haha. Exacerbate? That sounds like-" began Edge.

"Shut up, Edge." Matt told him. "So, anyways, like I said-"

While he had his back turned, Jeff and the others left.

"UGGHHH, why don't you ever listen to me?" he snapped, following them.

A few minutes later...

"Ok, masomorphs, for your first challenge in Tokyo, Japan, we're gonna have a bit of fun with pinball!" Jericho exclaimed, leading the group through a backstage area.

"We're gonna play pinball?" asked Melina. "Too lazy to come up with anything better, huh?"

He looked back at her. "No. You see, you're not gonna be playing traditional pinball, cause here in Japan..." he began, leading them into a crowded arena, with screaming fans and a gigantic pinball simulation. "You guys ARE the pinballs!" he finished.

Everyone gasped in awe and surprise.

"This is a dream, right?" asked Evan.

"I wish." replied Mickie. "So how are we gonna be pinballs?"

"Well, here's the thing. You guys are in a Japanese game show, and around here, the natives love doing stunts like this." he explained. "Oh, and before we start anything, we got totally unorganized teams and I gotta do an extreme makeover. Uh, Punk, you move to the Deadly Bunnies team..."

He smiled towards Maria and said, "YES! Reunited with mine once again. Later, peoples, it's been fun."

"FINE! We'll just keep on winning without ya!" Edge called.

Maria scoffed while Jeff looked jealous, before Jericho said, "And Kelly, you also move to the Deadly Bunnies..."

She gasped. "WHAT?" she cried. "No! But Jeff and I'll be separated! We've never been separated ever! Tell em, babe!"

Before he could say anything, Big Show dragged her to the other team anyway. "And...Maria, you move to Team Misfits." Jericho finished.

"REALLY?" Maria lit up, while Jeff smiled.

"Don't get too excited about coming over to this team, we're a train wreck just waiting to happen!" announced Matt.

She ignored him and ran to the team, leaving Punk and Kelly in shock. "Jeff, Lita!" she exclaimed, while they shared a group hug.

"Welcome to the team, Ria!" exclaimed Lita.

"Now, maybe, just maybe things'll turn for the better." he smiled towards Maria while Punk and Kelly glared at the three.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Kelly: "Ok, does Jeff WANT our relationship to end? He didn't even try to stop Jericho from splitting us up so that he can be with his Maria."

Punk: "I didn't invest 3 years into my relationship with Maria for nothing! If she's trying to tell me something, then just say it, damn it!" Hunter: *pokes hand puppet into room* "Shawn says hi." Punk: "Get outta here!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Now that the Days of Our Lives are over with, can I move on?" Jericho asked. "So for this challenge, one person from each team will ride in these pinball body bubbles. Wow, that's fun to say. So, choose who's gonna ride for your team."

"Well, who's gonna volunteer?" asked Christian.

"Sounds too dangerous for me." replied Melina.

"I kinda don't wanna end up breaking my neck, soo..." Eve said slowly.

"No." Michelle replied, reading a magazine.

Randy just glared at him.

Christian rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll be the bigger man here and step up." he replied.

Meanwhile...

"So, who wants to go?" asked Hunter.

"I say Evan!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Yeah-sure!" the others agreed.

"Wha? Why me?" he asked.

"Well, you're the smartest one out of all of us, so maybe you could have some type of strategy to help us win!" she replied.

"Aw, why not." he replied.

Mickie gave him a hug. "I know you can do it, Evan." she told him.

Feeling lovestruck again, he replied, "I KNOW I CAN!" Then, a board fell on top of his head. "OW!"

Meanwhile...

"As the leader of this team, I say that-" began Edge.

"DUDE! You're not the leader, all right?" demanded Jeff. "Just like, be quiet and let someone else take the glory for a change."

"Oh, like you could be a great leader!" he snapped back. "Look what happened last season! You tried to lead your team and ended up getting eliminated!...Wait, maybe this is a good thing. You can be the leader!"

"Oh, shut up!" he replied. "The only reason I was eliminated last season was because of Dave, who was paid by Matty here who wanted me eliminated so bad. So where does the blame really go?" he asked, glaring at Matt.

"Guys." Lita called.

"Don't lay all this at MY doorstep!" he argued. "If you weren't so busy being...you, none of this would've happened!"

"What the hell's THAT supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"GUYS!" called Maria.

"Don't keep trying. They're not gonna listen to anyone." Lita replied.

"Ok, parasites, who's volunteering?" asked Jericho.

"Right here!" called Christian.

"Me, I guess." replied Evan.

"I'll do it." replied Lita.

"Great, now for some more fun, Christian, your partner will be Wang Chung here," he said, putting a small panda bear in his arms.

"Aw, hey, lil Peep!" he exclaimed.

"Evan, your partner will be Hung Ding here." he said, handing him a small panda.

"Hey, Hung Ding, I'm Ev-WHAA!" he cried, once the panda tackled him down.

"What about me?" asked Lita.

"Well, we don't have any more pandas, so you can choose someone from your team." he replied.

Seeing that the boys were still fighting...

"OW! Don't throw chopsticks at me!" Edge cried.

She smiled and nodded towards Maria, while she smiled back and joined her.

A few minutes later, each team was settled in their bubbles (Christian in a red one, Evan in a blue one, and Lita and Maria in a green one), and Jericho and Big Show held them at the top of the machine.

"Ok, worms, the team member to get the most points wins the first challenge. Ready...set..."

"Wait, I don't think that Hung Ding likes me!" cried Evan.

"GO!" Jericho finished, while the three pinballs went crazy, traveling this way and that.

"WOOHOOHOO!" Christian exclaimed. "It's like some kinda psychedelic roller coaster ride, right Wang Chung? You know there's a band named after you? It's true, I oughta tell you about em!"

"AAAAAAHHH!" Evan screamed in terror, accidentally bumping into Hung Ding. "Sorry! I'm sorry, it's not my fault!"

The small, but lethal panda bear attacked him again, while their bubble bounced off of a couple of bumpers. "MICKIE, HELP ME!" he cried in fear.

"Evan!" Mickie cried, worried. "Chris, he's gonna be ok in there, right?"

"Mmm...I dunno. If Hung Ding doesn't maul him first, then yeah." he replied.

"I know Shawn would have a great time in there, eh, Shawn?" Hunter asked his puppet.

"Dude, it's a sock!" Punk cried.

"Hey, you live your life, I live mine!" he argued.

Back in the game, Lita and Maria's bubble was being recklessly tossed around, but they were having fun at the same time.

"AHH!" Maria cried, holding onto Lita's arm. "Oh, my God, this is awesome!"

"Haha! No kidding, this is better than I thought it'd be! WHOOHOO!" Lita cheered.

Meanwhile, the guys stopped fighting to notice that the contest had already started...

"Wow, that looks like fun." Edge announced.

"Yeah, I wish I could've gone on that thing. But hey, at least the girls are happy." Jeff said with a half smile.

"Well, if neither of you had distracted me, I would've been on that ride!" argued Matt.

"Horsepuckey." Edge replied.

"Heh?" Jeff asked, confused.

After a while, Christian and Wang Chung exited the bumpers first, followed by Evan and Hung Ding, followed by Lita and Maria.

"Hey, look!" exclaimed Eve.

Christian's bubble flew towards them, knocking Randy down. "OW!"

Evan's bubble bowled down his whole team. "WHOA!" they cried.

And Lita and Maria's bubble headed towards their team, while Edge fled the scene and Matt and Jeff were bowled over.

"Hey, amigos." Lita said casually.

"Sorry about that." Maria replied.

"Ow.." groaned Matt.

"I've had worse happen to me." replied Jeff.


	6. Ep 3, pt 2

"Ok, trogs, here's the scores. In first place, with 850,000 points, Christian and the Peep Force 5!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"So, I won for us. How do you like me now, Orton?" asked Christian.

"I don't." he replied dully.

In second place with 637,550 points, Evan and the Deadly Bunnies!" he exclaimed.

"Great job, Evan!" his team exclaimed.

"Hey, you all right there, buddy?" asked Punk.

"Please don't ask." he said sadly, with scratches all over his face, and Hung Ding still biting his leg.

"And in third place with 623,990 points, Lita, Maria, and the Misfits!"

"Well, third place isn't bad, right?" asked Maria.

"Sure! If any of the guys had gone we would've bombed, anyway." replied Lita.

"HEY!" cried Edge.

"Go away." she replied slowly, shoving him away.

Later, the gang was led to this room with a TV...

"Ooh, are we gonna watch a movie?" asked Melina.

"Kinda..." replied Jericho.

"Better be a good one too. Not that generic crap with you in it." replied Randy.

Jericho shot a look at him and went back to putting a DVD in the player. "Just watch."

Then, a promo for the show showed, with Jericho saying, _"TWWT, where it's nothing but crazy..."_

_Melina (in a valley girl voice): "Guess what? I'm my own fan! YAY!"_

_"Crazy..."_

_Randy (in a teenage bully voice): "I'll bury your ass into the ground!"_

_"Crazy..."_

_Evan (in Urkel voice): "Did I do thaaaat?"_

_"And just plain crazy!"_

_Hunter (in low voice): "I cheated on my math test!"_

_"Only on Total WWE, World Tour!" Jericho finished._

After the tape finished, he asked, "So, what do you think?"

"What's up with the crazy voices? I sound like some 15 year old brat!" cried Randy.

"Aw, Rand, self esteem problems, eh?" Christian asked.

"NEH!" he snapped back.

"NEH!" Christian replied.

"And who said I was my own fan?" demanded Melina. "Well, maybe sometimes, I am, but I'm not!"

"I'm not Urkel!" cried Evan.

"I never cheated on a math test!...I think!" Hunter cried.

"Yeah, yeah, the voices were dubbed cause the Japanese hate the way you guys sound. Part of me doesn't blame em." replied Jericho.

They glared at him.

"So, that brings me to your second challenge. You will be creating your own commercials to promote Chef Big Show's new tasty treat, Yummy Bars!" he exclaimed.

"I think they're the best thing I've whipped up in years!" Show replied, dropping a bag in front of them.

Curious, Christian tried one and soon after that, threw up. "Oh! What the hell is this crap, dog food?"

"You don't need to know what's in it." Show replied, casually.

"Ok, so your commercials will be judged by Big Show himself, mmkay? And Peep Force 5, since you won the first challenge, you get to choose the props you want to use first."

"Hey, guys, I have a great idea! Why don't we do a commercial where like, some kind of bubonic plague wipes out the town, and one of us acts as a superhero who uses the Yummy bars as a cure which brings all the people back to life?" Eve asked.

"Eve, girl, that sounds like a win!" exclaimed Melina.

"Yeah! Let's whip this commercial up!" agreed Christian.

"OH, no, that's such a juvenile idea, too babyish!" exclaimed Michelle.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Oh, please, that coming from some lazy little spoiled brat?"

-Back outside-

* * *

"I have the perfect commercial that'll sweep the judge off of his feet." she said with a smile.

"That's some heavy sweeping." Christian replied.

In the cargo hold...

"Ok, as the leader of this team, I say we will-" began Edge.

"YOU'RE NOT THE LEADER!" Jeff and Matt exclaimed at the same time.

"Oh, you have no right to say anything, you con artist!" Jeff exclaimed to Matt.

"Yeah, sure, I'm a con artist. One with common sense." he replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Jeff.

"You can't always have everything you want, dude, that's all I'm saying. I totally intend to win this season, and I swear, I will find a way to prevent you from winning, be sure of that. Cause, I'm older, more intelligent, more determined-" he began while Jeff got bored and began walking away, but he turned around to pick up something that fell.

"I-damn it, why won't you ever listen to me!" Matt cried, raising his fist in anger, accidentally punching Jeff's nose.

"OW!" he cried, holding onto his nose. "Oh..Oh, God, you broke my nose!"

"Jeff!" Maria cried, coming to his aid.

"Matt, dude, what the hell was that?" demanded Lita.

"Uh, well, it was an accident, but I'm...not saying I feel sorry about it." he said slowly.

He took one of his hands and took it away from his nose, and saw that there was blood on it. "Aw, great job, man, you gave me a nosebleed!" Jeff cried, pissed off.

"Here, I've got some tissues in my purse here. Head up, and just stay like that for a few minutes." Maria instructed. "This'll help stop the bleeding."

"Thanks, Ria." he replied, mustering a smile through the pain.

"Hey, uh, is someone in here with us?" Edge asked.

They all turned around to see a shadow of someone (Cena) looking towards them, but then the shadow hid away.

Confused, they all turned back.

"Never mind that!" exclaimed Maria. "Jeff, you feeling ok?"

"A little lightheaded, but I'll be fine." he replied, glaring at Matt.

"Huh." he replied, while Jeff stormed off and kicked Matt's leg while he walked away. "OW!" he cried.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Do you REALLY want to go this far, dude? Cause it's sure as hell working. If my nose really is broken, you're gonna have hell to pay! You might be older than me, Matt, but you're not as crazy as I am."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Well, I'm gonna go grab a coffee, be right back." he replied.

"I gotta pee." announced Edge.

Silence.

"So much for our commercial." Lita replied dully. "And what's up with Matt today? Jeff told me that he was at odds with him, but I didn't know it was gonna be this bad."

"And I'm just afraid things are gonna get worse from here. The three of us used to be so close, but now it's like a war, you know?" asked Maria. "I just hope Jeff's ok."

"He's tough, a little nosebleed won't stop him." she replied.

"Oh, I know that for sure, I mean, I hope that this whole rivalry doesn't mess with his head." she told her. "So, what about the commercial?"

"We have to handle this on our own. C'mon." Lita said, leading her away.

Later, everyone was in the room, gathered around the TV. "Ok, parasites, it's time for the fun to begin! Who wants to premiere their commercial first?" asked Jericho.

"OOH! OOH!" Kelly raised her hand. "Pick us, pick us, pick us, pick us, pick us, pick us, pick us!"

"ALL RIGHT!" Jericho cried, snatching the DVD from them. "God. Ok, here we go."

The tape played, showing a scene with a pretend city, while Mickie, Evan, and Kelly were screaming and running away from a giant lizard monster (Hunter dressed in costume) who was chasing them.

"Somebody has to do something!" cried Mickie.

"And soon, before he destroys our city that is being destroyed!" added Evan.

"EEEEK! The lizard, he will squash us! What do we do?" exclaimed Kelly.

"Lizard hungry. Lizard crush city. Lizard want steak!" Hunter replied in a deep voice.

"Lizard hungry, you say?" asked a voice.

"OOH, AH, OOH!" the three exclaimed in surprise.

"HEH?" Hunter asked, seeing Punk (in a mask and cape) approach him.

"I, the Straightedge Superstar, may not have steak for you, but I have these delicious Yummy Bars instead!" he exclaimed.

"Ooh, really?" Hunter asked, mocking his excitement.

"Yeah! Eat up!" he exclaimed, tossing him one.

He pretended to eat the candy to prevent throwing up, and replied, "Oh, yummy! Well, I'm happy. See you guys later."

After he stomped off, the three exclaimed, "YAY! Our city is saved!"

"Thanks, masked man!" Kelly exclaimed.

"All in the line of work! Stay away from drugs and alcohol!" he exclaimed, speeding away.

Then, the screen showed a shot of the Yummy Bars bag with Punk's Voice Over saying, "Chef Big Show's Yummy Bars - Tastes good, good for ya. Well, not really."

Kelly: "May cause ulcers, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, kidney stones, bowel movements, excessive burping, and constipation."

After that, the gang cheered, while Jericho laughed and Big Show looked shocked.

"Well, I liked it!" exclaimed Chris. "What about you?"

"My candy does not cause bowel movements!" he exclaimed, offended. "Next video!"

"Aww." The Deadly Bunnies groaned.

"Well, nobody wants to eat your crap!" Hunter snapped back. "Not even Shawn!"

"GET RID OF THE SOCK!" everyone else exclaimed.

"NO!" he argued.

"Ok, whose commercial is next?" asked Jericho.

"Eh..." Christian began, reluctantly holding the DVD.

"Oh, God, here." Michelle said, snatching it from him and handing it to Jericho. "It's a piece of work, if I say so myself."

"What she said." Randy said, bored.

"Well, that means we're gonna lose." Melina said dully.

After he put the tape in the player, a short clip showed the Yummy Bars, with a guy saying "Gravy Train Dog Food."

"HAHA!" everyone laughed while Michelle looked shocked.

"HEY!" snapped Big Show.

"Oops, I meant, Big Show's Yummy Bars." Christian replied, while the real commercial played.

There was a scene of Randy (in a suit) wandering around a fancy room. Voice over: "It's been a rough couple of days, but I realized that I couldn't live without her. There had to be a way to win her back into my heart, and I knew just the thing that would bring her back."

Michelle, in a dress, was outside on the balcony, and looked back to see Randy holding out a Yummy Bar. She smiled and entered the room while he smiled back at her. Then, she was posing on a couch, holding the bar, while Randy unhappily swept the floor.

"Yummy Bars. They'll make any man fall for someone as flawless as me." she said with a smile.

After the commercial ended, another clip showed the Yummy Bars, while another guy said, "This sauce is GOOD!"

Everyone laughed again.

"Christian!" Michelle demanded, shocked.

"I had to liven it up a little bit, cut me some slack!" he argued.

"You trogs impress me. But unfortunately, only Show's opinion counts here. So, what did you think?" asked Jericho.

"Yeah, I liked the end, when it was over!" he exclaimed in mock excitement. "Next."

"Team Misfits?" asked Jericho.

"Uhh...we don't have anything." replied Edge.

"Yeah, you see, we didn't get a chance to come up with any ideas, so-" began Jeff, with tape over his nose.

"So, Maria and I made one instead." replied Lita. "Watch and let's get this over with."

The tape played, where Lita was wearing a sporty outfit and started kickboxing. "Ever have one of those days where you just wanna punch someone's face in?" she asked.

The next scene showed Maria modeling behind some curtains and swinging around a revolving chair. "Or where you just want to relax and enjoy the moment? Well, with Chef's Yummy Bars, you'll feel like you're on Cloud 9." she said with a smile.

Lita kicked the punching bag a few more times. "So, try Chef's Yummy bars - or I'll find you and beat the hell outta you."

Maria half-hid herself behind another curtain. "They're so good. Mmm." she finished.

After that ended, the guys were practically drooling.

Even Randy looked interested, while Michelle turned him away.

"Maria..." Jeff said, surprised.

"Lita?" Matt questioned.

"Somebody make a copy of that DVD for me." announced Edge.

"YES! YES, I SAY!" Jericho exclaimed happily. "Big Show, say YES."

"Ok, I'll say yes, only cause they didn't compare my treats to dog food or mentioned that it caused diarrhea." he replied.

"Well, Team Misfits, you win again!" exclaimed Jericho.

"YES! WOOHOO!" they cheered.

"Well, actually, just Maria and I won, cause you guys like, didn't do anything. So, yeah." Lita replied. "C'mon, Ria."

"Sorry, guys, but she's right." she replied, following her.

Silence.

"Well, point is, we still won, right?" asked Edge.

"Yeah-We did." the brothers agreed.

"And I found Michelle's performance in the commercial quite boring, so her team loses." Show replied.

"BORING?" she demanded. "Listen to me, you fat tub of lard-"

"FAT?" he demanded.

"OK, ok! What Show says, goes. Team Peep Force 5, meet me for the elimination ceremony." announced Jericho.

"I really don't blame the guy for saying that about her." Christian agreed.

"Oh, what do you know, you're just a Canadian!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Oh, what, you got something against Canadians?" he demanded.

"Maybe I do!" she exclaimed, while they all stormed off.

Meanwhile, in the Playas lounge, Jeff was on his own, sipping a soda, while Kelly joined him, slamming open the door. "Jeff, we need to talk." she announced.

"Can it wait, Kel, my nose is killing me." he said.

"No, it can't. What the hell's wrong with you?" she asked.

"What?" he asked.

"When Jericho split us up for the first time and put us on different teams! You didn't even try to stop him!" she argued.

"Kelly, Jericho doesn't give a damn, he wouldn't have even listened to me!" he argued.

"No, it sounds like you're the one who doesn't give a damn about us anymore." she said.

He glared at her. "I should be saying the same about you." he replied.

After staring at one another, she said, "Jeff, I'm beginning to think that you just don't care about me anymore."

"What are you talking about, I love you! We've been together for 3 years!" he exclaimed.

"Maybe 3 years is enough." she replied, storming off.

"Kel!" he exclaimed, about to go after her, when Maria soon came in afterwards.

"Hey..Jeff, you ok?" she asked.

"I dunno." he sighed, while she sat across from him. "Kelly and I had one of our many fights, that's all."

"Enigma, are you really happy with her?" she asked, concerned.

As a reply, he looked back at her.

"That spark I've always seen in your eyes has been missing for a while and I'm worried about you." she continued.

"Hey, there's no need to worry about me, Ria, I'll be fine." he smiled.

"You sure?" she asked innocently.

"Positive." he replied, still smiling.

"Well, there's still some time before we have to leave, and I really want to ride that bubble ride again. You wanna join me? It'll make you feel better..." she smiled, tickling his sides while he laughed.

"Ok, ok, Ria, stop, I'll go!" he exclaimed. "But let's promise to keep this between us. If Kelly or Punk find out about this, they'll freak."

"Yeah. Let's go!" she exclaimed as they both ran off, but little did they know, Matt heard everything and smiled evilly to himself.

Later, at the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, Peep Force 5, this is your first time here at the elimination ceremony, so here's the dealio. There are passports in there with your names on each one. All you gotta do is stamp out the one person you don't want around anymore. Got it?" asked Jericho.

"Help, help!" Evan cried, the panda still attached to his leg. "Hung Ding's trying to bite my leg off! What do I do?"

"Deal with it." Jericho said dully.

"Ignore Bad Haircut over there." replied Christian.

"HEY!" cried Chris.

"Hey, Hung Ding?" he began, whispering something.

Then, the panda looked all sweet again and leaped into his arms. "You're free to go." he told Evan.

"Thanks, man. Ow...ow...ow.." he said, heading off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Well, this is an easy vote." *stamps*

Melina: "La pequena perra malvada consigue en mis nervios cada dia maldito!" *stamps*

Eve: "Oh, if you were only Lita." *stamps...stamps more furiously*

Christian: "Insults Canadians, what kind of crap is that?" *stamps*

Hung Ding: *giggles and stamps*

Michelle: "My performance was not boring! It was perfect until HE ruined it!" *stamps*

-Back Outside-

* * *

"Ok, let's see the results. Eve, Melina, you're safe." he replied, handing them the peanut bags.

Eve tasted one. "ICK! These are all stale!"

"I know." he smiled. "Randy, you're safe."

He smiled evilly towards Christian. "Look who's still in trouble." he told him.

"Ok, Christian and Michelle. One of you stays and one of you goes. The person eliminated is..."

Christian looked nervous and so did Michelle.

"With 4 votes, Michelle, you're outta here!" he exclaimed.

"ME?" she demanded. "4 votes? Randy?"

"Chelle, I swear, I voted for Christian. I'm not making the same mistake as the last time." he replied. "Who the hell voted for her?"

Eve, Christian, and Melina all happily rose their hands. "Hung Ding here voted for ya, too." Christian replied.

"WHY?" she demanded.

"Cause, you cost us the win, that's why, so HA!" Melina exclaimed.

"And you disrespected all Canadians, so that's why, too." added Christian.

"Well, whatever! Neither of you three know what REAL talent is, so see if I give a damn." she replied, snatching a parachute.

"Wait, Michelle!" called Randy.

She turned around while he wrapped her in a passionate kiss. "You were the only person I could tolerate here, so just..keep in contact, ok, Chelle?" he told her.

She smiled. "I love you too, Randy." she replied, backing up and not noticing when she stepped out of the plane. "AAAAAHHH...!"

"Damn." Randy grumbled.

"Well, good riddance, Canadian disrespector!"

Jericho exclaimed, "And so ends another elimination, ain't life swell?"

"It sure is." Christian agreed, while Hung Ding licked his hand. "Hey, I'm not panda food. Can I keep him?"

"NO, it costs money to take care of a panda, which I don't have to waste on you!" he exclaimed.

He just looked at him.

"Watashi-tachi wa hanarete, kono kyōki no otoko kara nyūshu deki masu sā, Hung Ding!" he cried, speeding away. "MUSHI MUSHI!"

"Go, Christian, go!" cheered Eve.

"Uh, comprende? You get yourself back here-uh, TV Land, end of episode, go do something. CHRISTIAN!" he cried, speeding after him.


	7. Episode 4: Canada

Total WWE, World Tour: Snowbound in the Yukon

Episode #4

"Yo, masomorphians! The Madonna of Sports Entertainment here, Chris Jericho with another fun filled installment of TWWT! Last week, we headed to Tokyo, Japan, where the contestants fell 600 feet in the air down into the heart of Japan. There, Hunter kept believing in the tall tale that his puppet pal Shawn was real, teams were switched, while the feud between Matt and Jeff only got worse. The first challenge was a human pinball match, where Christian and his panda Wang Chung represented the Peep Force 5, Evan and his panda Hung Ding represented the Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad (and they didn't really get along), and Lita and the newly recruited Maria represented Team Misfits, who of course, didn't have a damn clue what was going on while Edge was attacked with chopsticks! After a bumpy ride, Christian gained the win for his team, giving them the advantage in the next challenge, which was to create a commercial promoting Chef Big Show's tasty Yummy Bars! The Deadly Bunnies had no problem choosing, Michelle chose to take over as the Peep Force 5's star, and Team Misfits, well, let's just say it ended up in a bloody mess! With the guys still at odds, it was up to Lita and Maria to save the team. When it was time for premieres, The Deadly Bunnies's commercial was a riot, but Big Show wasn't too pleased about the diarrhea and bowel jokes. The Peep's commercial was a snorefest, thanks to Michelle, but after Team Misfits' commercial took our attention away from all the problems of the world, they were dubbed the winners, while the guys, they did nothing. The Peep Force 5 were at the elimination ceremony, and at the end, Michelle was the next to be sent home, mostly because she disrespected us Canadians! This week, will Mickie and Evan get closer? Just how long will it be before Hunter goes completely insane? Will Kelly and Punk find out about Jeff and Maria's encounter? Will Randy survive being surrounded in a place where he hates everyone? And what's next for the war between Jeff and Matt? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playas Lounge, Team Misfits were enjoying their stay in luxury once again...

Edge was asleep once again, while Lita listened to her ipod, and Jeff and Maria were watching the huge HD TV installed on the plane.

"Cool, a Yamaha BW200! That's like, vintage! Oh, and look! A Suzuki GSX-R! And-oh, my god-a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-RR! ! I've always wanted one of those!" Jeff exclaimed excitedly.

Maria giggled. "I don't get it, Jeff, you already have like, 14 bikes back at home and you're still watching the Motorcycle network just to get more?" she asked.

"Pretty much, yeah." he agreed with a smile. "Maybe I could find one for you."

"Ok! Wouldn't it be cool if we had matching bikes?" she agreed, daydreaming...

...

_He rode a green motorcycle, while she rode a light blue one. They each did a showcase of different tricks and moves, before stopping side by side, lifting up their helmets, giving each other a kiss, and then speeding off together._

Back to today... "Ahh..." she sighed dreamily.

"That'd be awesome!" he replied.

While he was glued to the TV, Matt was strolling outside when Kelly was walking by. "Hey, Kel, how you doing?"

"Fine, I guess. What's up?" she asked.

"Well, since you're here, I might as well tell you." he said.

"Tell me what?" she asked.

"Well, after our trip to Japan, after you stormed out of the room, I kinda overheard Maria and Jeff chatting, and laughing, and they ended up going back on the bubble ride together. Alone." he explained while Kelly grew furious.

"...What?"

"Yeah, it's all true. You might wanna talk to em. They're in there." he said.

"I will!" she cried, bursting in the door, whipping Edge's chair around while he was still sleeping, and stood in Jeff and Maria's way.

"Uh, hi, Kelly." greeted Maria.

"What's wrong now?" sighed Jeff.

"So, did you two have fun on that Japanese ride together?" she demanded, while the two looked surprised.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't deny it." she said angrily. "Explain."

"I never told her." Maria said.

"Me neither. Kel, really, all we did was go on a ride together, that's it. How'd you even find out about this?" asked Jeff.

"Matt told me!"

After that, he slowly turned around and glared at him, while he waved back. "Oops." he smirked.

Jeff nodded. "Ok. Be right back. Matt, let's chat for a sec." he said. After they left the room..."_WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL HER-I HAD EVERY TO, BRAT!" _the two argued, screaming.

"Look, Kelly-" began Maria.

"No, save it, Maria. Just wait until Punk finds out about this." Kelly said, storming off while Maria sighed.

"Lita, help me!"

She took out her headphones. "Huh?" she asked.

Edge snored loudly.

Meanwhile, in the loser's section, without Michelle by his side, Randy miserably buried his head in his arms, while he stared at the wall.

"Aww, hey, Rand, what are you doing here all by yourself?" Christian asked.

He slowly turned around and looked at him.

"Come on, dude, I know you miss Michelle, but hey, someone had to go and you know, it was her." he continued.

"Well, you took away yet another thing from me." Randy said dully.

"What?"

"First, of course, you steal Edge away, the only person who was willing to do whatever I wanted to do. Then, you get Michelle eliminated, the only other person who I actually liked around here, and now that the possibility of Rated RKO reforming got sent to hell, I mean, what's the point anymore?" he asked.

He patted him on the shoulder. "Just put on a happy face, Rand. You'll survive." he replied before going back to his friends.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Ok, this is the last straw. That Christian thinks that he can just put me down and get away with it, well, that doesn't work with me! I'm the Viper, and I'm gonna find a way to break him down. We'll see who has the last laugh."

Christian: "Oh, puh-leeze! Edge wants nothing to do with that anger fueled, hotheaded maniac! Besides, I'm more fun to be with anyway. If Orton keeps this attitude up, he's gonna be the next one to go, I'll tell you that!"

-Back Outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

Punk was about to visit Maria, until Kelly stopped him and said, "If you're going to see Maria, save your energy."

"Why? What's going on?" he asked.

"Well, back when we were in Japan, Jeff and Maria frolicked off into the sunset. They went back on that pinball ride. Together. Alone." she said.

He looked surprised. "Oh, did they?" he demanded.

"Punk, I knew they were getting close, but this is outta control!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah! In fact, I'm going in there and giving Jeff a piece of my mind-" he began.

"Punk, no!" she cried. "Don't hurt him."

"Why not? Didn't we have them first? They just can't run off together while they're still with us!" exclaimed Punk.

"I know, I know, but let's just plan our revenge during the challenge. That way, I get Jeff back and you get Maria." she smiled.

He smiled back. "I like the way you think, K2. I like it a lot." he replied while she giggled.

Then, they turned around and saw Hunter and 'Shawn' glancing at them. They glanced back towards them.

"Uh...can we help you?" asked Punk.

"Shawn and I are bored." Hunter replied.

"So, you just want to watch us?" he asked, confused.

"Well, Shawn wanted to throw eggs at people from out of the window, but I wanted to throw owl pellets at Jericho!" he exclaimed.

They looked at him.

"What?"

"You do know what owl pellets are, don't you?" asked Punk.

"Owl seeds." he replied.

"Noo...it's owl poo." he told him.

"Oh. Well, that's gross. Shawn, tell me about those eggs again." Hunter told him.

"Dude, get rid of the puppet already!" he cried.

"NO! Shawn's as real as real can be!" he argued. "Don't worry, man, I won't let anyone diss you like that."

Meanwhile, Mickie was headed to join her friends, until she heard a shower noise from the inside men's room. "Hmm?"

Then, Evan, in nothing but a towel, came out and picked something up, before catching Mickie gazing at him.

"Oh, h-hey, Mickie!" he exclaimed, blushing.

"Hey, hottie-uh, E-Evan!" she said quickly, blushing.

He flashed a smile back towards her before stepping back in, when the door closed in his face.

*BONK!* "OW!" he cried from inside. "I'm OK!"

Still smiling, she chuckled and went on her way.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Mickie: "You know, lately, Evan's really been getting to me, like, he's totally sweet, and he's really cute, and he's super smart, and-and...what a BOD! I really, really like him. *giggles*"

Evan: "I don't know if I should be more humiliated that Mickie only saw me in a towel, or that I got attacked by a door. Man, at this rate, she'll probably never like me the way I like her. And trust me, I REALLY like her."

-Back outside-

* * *

Later...

"Hey, parasites, what's new?" Jericho asked with a smile.

"Oh, nothing much, still got the same back pains from another night of sleeping on the wall." Melina replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, a little while more and we'll officially be crippled!" Christian exclaimed sarcastically.

"Why are you in such a good mood, Jericho?" asked Eve.

"Well, that's part of today's surprise." he said, while the plane started landing quickly.

"Surprise? Oh, God, Jericho's probably taking us to some kind of chamber, where Jigsaw's gonna play games with us, and we'll all be murdered one by one, until one of us is left standing!" Edge cried.

Everyone looked at him.

"It could happen!" he replied.

"Wow, you've got one stupid imagination." Lita said unemotionally.

"Whoa, this plane's landing awfully fast!" cried Maria. "I'm SCARED!"

"Yo, Jericho, tell Big Show to ease it on the landing, will ya?" demanded Punk.

"No." Jericho laughed, eating a basket of cookies.

"Hey! Those are MY cookies!" cried Melina. "Give em back! I never said that you could have em!"

"Sharing is caring." he replied, munching. Then, he caught the Shawn puppet creeping towards the basket, while Jericho slapped him away.

"HEY!" Hunter cried, holding the puppet in his arms. "Don't slap Shawn, he did nothing to you!"

Meanwhile, in the cargo hold, Cena was still hiding out, while watching rats escape the rapidly dropping plane.

Before they jumped out, they looked at Cena, who looked back at them.

Silence.

"You can't see me!" he exclaimed, waving his hand in front of his face.

The rats nipped at him before jumping out.

"OW! Yeah, you better get outta here!" he cried.

After a few more seconds, the plane finally landed.

"We're HERE! YEAH!" Jericho exclaimed, putting on a winter coat and speeding out.

The gang looked at each other, shrugged, and headed outside...to almost immediately freeze to oblivion!

"WHOA!" they cried.

"Nice wake up call, eh, worms?" asked Jericho. "Gang, welcome to the Yukon, our next destination."

"Uh, yeah, you could've warned us that it was gonna be 50 degrees below zero, thanks." Matt announced.

"You're welcome!" he replied.

"S-So do we get jackets or w-what?" asked Melina.

"Well, I called the coat delivery service a couple of days ago, but they never came, so too bad for all of you. You'll all just have to use each other to keep warm." he said.

"I hate this." Melina complained, crossing her arms and shivering.

"Story of my life." Randy replied, crossing his arms.

"D-Don't talk to me." she replied. "H-Hombre-puta. Yeah, t-that's right. I called you a man-whore!"

"W-Whatever." he replied.

Jeff saw that Maria was shivering and put his jacket around her shoulders. "Feel better?" he asked.

She smiled. "Much, thanks."

"Ok, ok, stop. Look, Jeff, Maria doesn't need you to keep her warm, she needs me. Right, Ria?" asked Punk.

"No, I don't." she replied, walking away with Jeff while Punk stood there in shock. He was walking and unknowingly wrapped his arms around Kelly while they both blushed. "Oh, sorry, Kel." he said.

"It's cool. Keep your arms there if you want to." she smiled.

Meanwhile, Matt joined Lita and asked, "Uh, hey, you cold?"

"Eh, it's all right. I'll be fine." she replied, with a half smile.

He half smiled back, before Eve came from out of nowhere and cried, "Matt, are you cold? Let me keep you warm!"

While she hugged him, she smiled evilly towards Lita while she snarled and looked away. Matt tugged away from Eve and said, "Eve, really, I'm fine."

"Oh, well, as long as you're all right." she said, a little disappointed.

"Hey, Eve, you cold?" asked Christian. "Need a peep to warm you up?"

She giggled. "Sure. Thanks, Christian." she replied while they huddled together.

"Hmm..." Randy thought, seeing them together.

"I'll keep you warm, Shawn." Hunter said, tightly hugging his puppet. "Shawn? Say something!"

It looked back at him.

He slapped its side to wake him up, but it just leaned over to the side. "SHAWN!" he cried.

Mickie was shivering, while Evan joined her and said, "Hey, if we gotta freeze, we might as well freeze together."

She smiled and replied, "Nice to know I'm not alone."

"Ok, parasites, I'm so damn excited, cause we're here in the Yukon, which is in the heart of good ol' Canada!" Jericho exclaimed.

"O Canada." Christian said with a smile. "Reminds you of home, eh, Edge?"

"Sure does. Hey, remember that time where we mooned that police officer from on top of the snow bank?" he asked.

"And of course, we got 2 hours of jail time. Fun, though." he replied.

"Reminds me of home, too." Jericho agreed.

"Dude, you're from New York!" Big Show replied.

"QUIET!" he replied.

"Hey, Shawn hates Canada! We object!" cried Hunter.

"Oh, yeah, well you and that puppet are OVERRRULED, ha HA!" Jericho exclaimed. "Ok, so here's the dealio for today. See this frozen river here? You parasites have to get across these frozen ice patches here in order to reach the other side, where then the first person who gets there must find a sled, find the rest of your teammates and race to the finish line! Fun right?"

They all stared at him.

"Great, now GET MOVING!" he cried, sipping on a coffee. "Yo, Show, I asked for a frappachino, this is a cappachino!"

"Uh, difference?" he asked dully.

He glared at him. "Fix me another one or else I will freeze your next paycheck." he replied.

"I hate my job." he muttered, heading back to the plane.

Meanwhile, everyone was off, trying to find a way to get over the ice patches...

"Hehe, this plan is going to be perfect First, we should-WHOO!" Kelly exclaimed, happily leaping towards the first ice patch, but instead fell in the icy water.

*SPLASH!*

"Kelly! You all right?" Punk asked, worried.

She bobbed back up, covered in an ice block. "CM?" she asked, barely audible. "I'm frozen."

"Oh, crap." he muttered, before getting a great idea. "Hold on, Kel!"

He stepped over her ice block to get to the first ice patch, grabbed her, and stepped over her to get to the next one, and so on. "Haha, Kel, you are amazing!" he exclaimed, using her as a stepping stone.

"Ok, you're lighter than I am, so you go first." Hunter told his puppet, throwing him towards another ice patch. "K, here I come!" he exclaimed, leaping on next. The puppet flew back though, hit Evan in the eyes, causing both he and Mickie to fall back into the water. "AAAAAAHHHH!" they cried.

"Oh, uh...can you toss Shawn over here, please?" Hunter asked meekly.

The two looked at him.

"I'm not my own number one fan, I tell ya!" Melina said, relaxing on an ice float, while some bears helped to push the float.

Randy leaped on a float, but before he looked on, he turned around to find Eve hopping on the same one as his. He smiled evilly, stepped on the ice float, and leaped off to the next one before the float began to break.

*crackle* "Huh?" Eve asked. "Randy, what the hell did you just do?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed from a distance.

Before she could do anything else, the ice broke from under her feet, dropping her into the ice water.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she screamed. If that wasn't enough, a polar bear headed towards her, but before it could attack, Christian bravely leaped in the water and shielded Eve from the bear.

The bear growled fiercely.

Christian roared back even more fiercely, scaring the bear away.

"Whoa. Christian, thanks!" Eve cried, surprised.

"Sure thing." he replied. "You ok?"

"Yeah. Why did Randy do that to me? I could've gotten killed!" she cried.

Christian angrily looked towards Randy and didn't reply.

Meanwhile, Edge fell flat on his face on another ice float, while Maria easily skipped across each one. "This is way easier than I thought it'd be! C'mon, guys!"

"Well, if she can do it so easily, then so can the rest of us." replied Jeff.

Then, he glared at Matt while he glared back at him.

"ME FIRST!" Matt cried, leaping on the nearest ice patch. "NO, ME!" Jeff argued, leaping on the same one.

Near where they were, Lita was about to leap towards another ice patch, until she realized that hers was breaking. "Damn it." she muttered, trying to stay on.

"Lita?" Matt called, not realizing when he shoved Jeff into the water and rushed to her aid.

*SPLASH!* "Some brother YOU are!" Jeff called, then realizing that his ice patch floated away. "Oh, that's nice."

"Matt, what are you doing?" Lita demanded, trying to hold onto the patch.

"C'mon, that thing's not stable enough." he told her.

"Seriously, I'm fine, I can take care of myself!" she replied, slipping off.

"Hey, since you abandoned me again, our ice patch disappeared, too." Jeff said nonchalantly, joining them. "Just wanted to tell you."

"WHAT?" Matt demanded.

As if things weren't bad enough, another polar bear returned and headed towards them.

The three were forced to hold onto the patch for dear life, while the bear tilted it towards him.

"Well, if we end up getting killed, at least I'll know it was my irresponsible little brat's fault." Matt said, glaring at Jeff.

"If anyone's a brat, it's you, Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About-Anyone-But-Myself!" argued Jeff.

Lita just sighed.

Before it was too late, an ice patch flew and bonked the bear on its head. They all turned around to find Maria headed back towards them, using some fish as paddles. "Leave them alone!" she cried.

The bear growled towards her, but she threw another fish at him, distracting the bear. After he disappeared, the three joined her on her ice patch. "You guys all right?" she asked.

Jeff smiled. "We are now. Nice thinking, Lil Red!" he replied, kissing her on the cheek while she turned red.

"Yeah, thanks, Ria." Lita agreed gratefully.

"Aww, guys..." she smiled.

"Now that that's done with, let's keep moving." Matt announced while they all paddled together.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "EEEEE! He kissed me! He really kissed me! Now that we're on the same team, maybe Jeff and I DO have a chance! WHOO! *kicks camera* Oops, sorries!"

-Back to today-

* * *

"Ok, looks like we're more than halfway there!" Mickie announced happily. "Maybe if this keeps up, our team might actually have a chance for once."

"If we can find the rest of them." replied Evan.

"Yeah." she agreed. "So, you wanna go to the next ice patch or should I?"

"I oughta go first, y'know, just to make sure it's safe for us...especially you." he replied, blushing.

She blushed back. "Thanks." she said shyly.

He leaped to the next ice patch and said, "Wow, I didn't have an Urkel moment there! Whenever you're ready, Mickie."

She leaped to his ice patch, but when she did, she almost slipped off. "AH!" she cried.

"I got you!" he exclaimed, catching her before she fell.

"Thanks-WHOA!" she cried while they both fell down and she landed on him.

After that, they looked in each other's eyes and turned red.

"Oh, my..." Mickie giggled.

"Well, this is awkward." Evan chuckled.

While they just gazed at one another, Edge floated by (on a bear) and called, "HEY, KEEP IT CLEAN AROUND HERE, BEARS ARE WATCHING!"

Startled, they sat up and laughed again.


	8. Ep 4, pt 2

After a while, Randy finally made it to the other side, and reached a sled first. "That went better than expected. Maybe I can handle things on my own again." he said with a half smile.

"Rand, stop talking to yourself." Jericho muttered, reading a magazine.

"...I can't believe you lost them!" Matt cried, arriving next with Jeff.

"It's not my fault the ice broke and the girls got separated from us!" he argued. "Why do you gotta blame me for everything?"

"If we all just stuck together, all we would have to do was look for Edge and we'd already be the winners, but NOOO, you have to-" began Matt.

"Can you two keep the arguing down?" asked Randy. "My migraine is coming back."

They looked at him.

"You were the one who-It's always me, me, me with you-" they continued.

"Woo hoo!" Punk exclaimed, still carrying a frozen Kelly. "Hey, all."

"Whoa, uh, what happened to Kelly?" asked Jeff. "You all right?"

"Like you really care." she replied while he gave her a look.

"Yeah, but we made it across the water, so it's all good!" exclaimed Punk. "And remember, Maria is MINE." he said while Jeff crossed his arms and said nothing.

"You know if you leave her that way for a long period of time, she'll get frostbite if she doesn't already have it." Matt replied.

Silence. "I'LL SAVE YOU, KEL!" he cried, tossing her ice block towards a close mountain.

"Punk!" cried Jeff. "Are you crazy?"

"EEEEEEEEE!" she cried, but the impact of the crash broke the ice, freeing her! "Huh...YAY! I'm free!"

While she ran to hug him, the two blushed and broke away. "Hehe. Thanks, CM." she smiled.

"Y-Yeah, sure thing." he smiled back.

"Well, now that that lovely moment is over, each of you grab a sled, and if you look up there, there's your sledding course from where your teammates will be waiting for you." Jericho said, pointing to a course that looked nearly impossible.

"Crap." said Kelly.

"Well, see you in the winner's circle." Randy said, heading off.

"So, you wanna lead or should I?" asked Kelly.

"Kel, you've gone through enough today, so allow me to do the honors. Can't be that hard, anyway." Punk replied, taking the reigns and glancing back towards Jeff to see if he was getting jealous. Surprisingly, he wasn't.

"Oh, goodie!" she exclaimed, leaping in their sled, and whipping him. "MUSH!"

Surprised, he looked back at her.

"I always wanted to do that." she replied.

He chuckled and headed off.

"Well?" Matt asked, looking at Jeff.

"What?"

He climbed in the sled. "Let's go!" he cried.

"Hey, why do I have to lead this thing?" Jeff demanded.

"Cause you've caused enough problems in one day, make yourself useful for once." he replied, whipping him.

"Just in case you didn't know, I'm a person with feelings, too." Jeff replied dully, crossing his arms.

"Cry me a river and let's go already before you make us all lose!" Matt cried.

Not caring, Jeff pulled the sled about a half inch.

Matt whipped him again.

"Stop it." Jeff muttered.

"Grrrr..why do you gotta be an immature little (BLEEP), I swear!" he cried.

Shocked that he was just cursed at, Jeff tackled Matt to the ground and the two started brawling on the ground.

Jericho approached them. "I'll make you two sing a song." he said.

They stopped fighting, while Matt shoved Jeff in the sled and began heading off on full speed. "Be quiet." he told him.

"Isn't this considered abuse?" Jeff cried. "Or kidnapping?"

"You try sledding in 45 seconds or less!" he replied.

Later, the sleds were off, and they searched everywhere around for their teammates...

Randy stopped to find Eve at the first checkpoint. "Well, what are you standing there for? Get in." he said.

She glared at him and reluctantly stepped in.

While he went off, she asked, "What was that earlier?"

"What?"

"You know, uh, when you tried to kill me earlier?" she demanded. "Did I, like, do something to you that I wasn't aware of?"

"No. I didn't do anything to you. See, I was just on my way, and the ice just happened to break under all our weight. Don't blame me for weak ice." he replied.

As a reply, she just crossed her arms.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Am I really supposed to believe that bull? I know he tried to sabotage me, but I just want to know why! I didn't do anything to him!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Hunter and his puppet were waiting at another checkpoint, while he was getting more and more delusional...

"Well, I hope someone finds us soon, eh, Shawn?" he asked. "Don't want us to become a couple of popsicles."

Silence.

"What? No, Shawn there aren't any pancakes here!...Why would there be any around in the dead heat of winter?...Well, you stop yelling at me!..No, you're mean! Hey, you wanna take this outside?...No, after YOU!" he cried.

Then, he looked up at Punk and Kelly, who arrived.

They looked back at him.

"We're concerned." Kelly announced.

"See, Shawn, they did remember to come for us!" he exclaimed, hopping in the sled. "Nice sled, by the way."

"Dude, we need to have a chat." Punk said, while they headed off.

Meanwhile, Matt continued to speed the sled, while Jeff held on for dear life. "AAAAAHHHH!" he cried. "Try NOT to kill me, will ya?"

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" he called back.

They reached another checkpoint, where Maria and Lita were waiting.

"Yeah, thanks for getting separated from us, you guys." Lita said, while they both climbed in.

"What happened back there?" asked Maria. "One second we were all together and the next, you guys were gone."

"Blame HIM!" Jeff and Matt cried at the same time.

They sped off, not realizing that they sped right past Edge at another checkpoint. "HEY!" he cried, chasing after them. "DON'T IGNORE ME!"

Meanwhile...

Randy stopped at another checkpoint and picked up Christian. "Hurry it up, hurry it up, don't got all day here." Orton said. "The bus is leaving."

"Hey, Eve." he greeted.

"Hi, Christian. Look, remember what happened earlier? The accident?" Eve said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I asked Randy why it happened, but he said it was all an accident. I mean, I almost got killed and it was an 'accident'?" she asked.

"Sounds like there's more to the story." he replied suspiciously.

"Yeah! Why would he want to hurt me?" she asked.

"Hmm. I honestly have no idea, but I intend to find out." he replied, glaring towards him.

While Randy kept on speeding, he turned back and said, "I hear you guys talking back there. Better not be about me."

"Yeah, we were only talking about how your veiny little head blocks out the sun!" Christian called back.

Eve giggled, while Randy growled and turned back around, just in time for some snow to fly in his face. "AH! I-I can't see!" he cried.

"Orton, watch out for that baby seal!" Eve exclaimed.

"What?" he asked.

He sped towards the seal, which was desperately trying to get out of the way. He bumped into it, while it flew in the air. "YEEEE!" it cried.

"Lil Peep!" Christian called.

"I gotcha!" Eve exclaimed, catching the seal. "Aww, you cute wittle thing!"

"Wha happened?" Randy asked dully, clearing the snow out of his face.

At the last checkpoint, Mickie, Evan, and Melina were all waiting for their teams...

"I can't believe my own team forgot about me, can you guys believe that, I can't believe that!" Melina cried.

"Mel, calm down, I'm sure they'll find you. Just give em some time." replied Mickie.

"¡Yo no soy mi propio ventilador, belive eso, ellos probablemente hacen no, yo no comprendo detrás de por qué ellos me dejarían así, significo, Randy, yo creo, pero no Eve ni Cristiano, yo significo, vengo en!" Melina ranted on.

"Uh...huh?" Mickie asked.

"She's just upset that her team left her behind, that's all." replied Evan.

"Wow, you understood that so easily?" Mickie asked, surprised.

"Y-yeah, I understand a couple of languages." he said shyly. "It's nothing, really."

"No! I think that's really awesome." she replied. "And thanks for saving me earlier. That was really sweet of you."

"It's no problem. And you know, after we fell and everything, I noticed that...you have really pretty eyes." he said, blushing again.

"Evan..." she smiled, leaning on him, while he put his arm around her.

"Aww!" Melina exclaimed, before bumping into the pole. After noticing that her tongue was stuck to it, she tried to free herself. "Mmm? Eh oh. Guyzz?" she asked, barely able to speak.

They didn't hear her, when Punk and the rest of the gang's sled picked them up. "Last stop, all aboard! Maybe you guys can help us talk some sense into Hunter." he told them.

"Oh. The puppet issue again?" asked Evan.

"I don't have puppet issues!" Hunter argued.

*whip!* "MUSH!" called Kelly. "Hehe!"

"Kel, that's starting to get annoying." Punk said, while they all headed off.

"Ehhhh!" Melina cried. "Wha 'bout meh?"

As Team Misfits headed in her direction, a megaphone installed there cried, "_ATTENTION, WORMIES!"_

Everyone stopped.

_"SINCE MEL HERE'S STUCK, SHE HAS TO SING A SONG ABOUT HER SORROWS, AND I WANT TEAM MISFITS TO SING BACKUP."_ Jericho announced.

"WHAT?" they all demanded.

_"SING OR YOU'RE OUT! HA!" _he laughed.

"Well, what do we sing?" asked Maria.

"And what happened to you?" Lita asked her.

"...help." she said.

All: "Help!"

Melina: "I need somebody."

All: "Help!"

Melina: "Not just anybody."

All: "Help!"

Melina: "You know I need someone..."

All: "Help!"

Melina: "When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured, Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down, And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground…"

All: "Won't you please, please help me?"

Melina: "And now my life has changed in oh so many ways, My independence seems to vanish in the haze. But every now and then I feel so insecure, I know that I just need you like I've never done before. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down, And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground..."

All: "Won't you please, please help me?"

Melina: "When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured, Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down, And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground…"

All: "Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, ooh!"

After the song ended, Matt led the sled away.

"ERGH! GUYZZZZ!" Melina cried.

"Mel!" called Maria. "Wait, shouldn't we help her?"

"Yeah, she's all on her own. Nobody else might find her." agreed Jeff.

"We could, but we're late enough as it is after Jericho stopped us." replied Lita. "Let's just hope we won't be dead last."

"And if we stop to help her, we're helping out another team, so no." added Matt.

"AND our winning streak must live on, cause thanks to my superb leadership, we'll win this one, too!" Edge exclaimed proudly.

They all looked at him.

"You fail at life." Lita told him.

"You just say all those mean things cause you know you still want me." he replied with a sly smile.

Matt glared back at him, while Lita replied, "I'd rather have the buzzards eat me alive."

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "Hey, I'm not ALL bad, you know! I'm Canadian!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

"Shawn, you all right there, buddy?" Hunter asked his puppet. "...Wha? You cold?...You can't feel anything?...Aw, dude, you might have frostbite!"

The rest of his team looked annoyed.

"Guys, what do we do? We can't leave Shawn like this, what if something of his is frozen and needs amputating?" he asked.

"I tell you what we should do. We take that THING, toss him off of this mountain, and PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY!" Punk screamed, turning around.

Frightened, Hunter covered Shawn and looked back at him. "You're so mean." he replied.

Punk glanced at him again before heading towards an icy bridge. "Oh, now what's this?" he asked.

"You better be careful, CM, this thing's icy. It might be dangerous." Mickie said.

"It'll be fine. It should be strong enough to hold us for 3 seconds." he replied, heading across.

"Dude, slow down, Mickie's right. This thing might be unstable." agreed Evan.

"Guys, stop worrying, everything's gonna-" he began.

*crackle*

"Heh?" he asked.

Before anyone else could say anything, the icy bridge fell from underneath them, and the sled tilted towards the edge of the cliff.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Kelly. "OH, MY GOD!"

"Well, Shawn? You were only made of fabric, but it was nice knowin ya." Hunter said. "I hope that frostbite went away."

"HUNTER! GET RID OF THE SOCK PUPPET!" everyone else shouted.

"NO, he's not a sock! Leave us alone!" he replied defensively.

The sled tilted down a bit more. "Oh, this is just lovely." Punk announced.

"CM, you gotta do something before we fall 500ft to our deaths!" Kelly cried, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Well, I'm not a miracle worker! I don't know what to do!" he cried.

"Oh, what are we gonna do? There's gotta be something!" cried Mickie.

Then, Evan had an idea. He climbed up the sled towards the front, went past Punk, and grabbed onto the ledge. After that, he grabbed onto a piece of ice on the ground and used everything he had to lift the rest of them up.

"Hey, I see where he's going." Punk said, helping him. They all used all they had to pull themselves and the sled back up, and after a few minutes, it worked!

"WOOHOO!" they cheered.

"Great idea, Evan!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Yeah, you saved us again!" agreed Hunter.

"Stop." he smiled.

Mickie took his arm. "You're a hero, you know that?" she asked.

He turned red again and smiled back at her.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Evan: "Holy crud, I'm on a roll today! First, I save Mickie, I help save our team, and maybe now Mickie doesn't think I'm a total klutz! YES! *pounds fist but then whacks his eye* Ow, my eye."

-Back Outside-

* * *

The race was on, and now everyone was speeding downhill towards the finish line. Team Peep Force 5 were in the lead, followed by Team Misfits, and then Team Deadly Bunny...

"Dude! We're...we're winning. We're winning!" exclaimed Christian.

"Yeah! You think we'll finally not lose for once?" asked Eve.

"Let's hope so." he replied, whipping Randy. "Mushy mushy!"

Randy snarled and glared back at him while he sped down.

"Haha, payback." Jeff smiled.

"What do you mean?" asked Maria.

"This." he replied, continuously whipping Matt. "MUSH MUSH!"

"STOP IT!" Matt cried.

"Well, don't do it to me next time!" he replied.

"Hey, that looks fun! Can I try?" asked Edge.

"No." Jeff replied dully.

"C'mon, guys, there's gotta be a way to gain the lead!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Hmm. Hunter?" asked Evan.

"Yello?"

"Maybe you should sit in front and lean forward. The heaviest person can make the sled go a lot faster." he explained.

"Uh, heaviest? Look, all this is pure muscle, all right?" he asked, flexing his arm.

"You know what he means. Just go in front, please." Mickie replied.

"All right, but I don't know how this is gonna work." he replied, doing what he was told.

Nearing the finish line, Team Peep Force 5 were still in the lead. "WE'RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN!" Eve exclaimed, shaking Christian by the collar.

"Ah, Playas Lounge, here we come!" he exclaimed.

"Thank me." Randy replied.

Before they crossed the finish line though, Team Deadly Bunny quickly crossed the line before they did, with Team Misfits coming in last.

"AND IT ENDS!" announced Jericho.

"...What the hell just happened?" Christian announced, shocked.

"Don't blame me for our 57th LOSS!" Randy cried, pissed off.

"Did we just come in last?" demanded Matt.

"Goodbye winning streak." Maria said, disappointed.

"Ok, ok, parasites, listen up. Team Misfits, you have nothing to worry about. Team Peep Force 5 may have crossed in second place, but as you can see, they're missing someone." Jericho continued.

They looked around.

"Oh! Melina!" cried Eve.

"Aw, damn it!" exclaimed Christian. "Where'd she even go, I didn't see her!"

"Me, neither." she agreed.

"Well, the rules are, all team members were to be collected, so you guys lose. Again. And Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah, congrats on winning your first challenge. You get to enjoy your stay in the Playas lounge." he said.

"YES! WOOHOO!" they cheered.

"There is a God!" Hunter exclaimed, hugging his Shawn puppet.

Everyone shared a group hug, while Punk told Team Misfits, "Aw, man, I'm SO glad I switched teams or I'd be sleeping on that crusty old wall!"

They shot a death glare at him.

"Have a good day. WOO!" he cheered, heading back to his team.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "We had a great winning streak, and we lost! We lost! Well, if anyone, I blame my immature little brat, since all day he-"

Jeff: "Oh, yeah, well, if I'm a (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP), then you're a (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)" Matt threateningly stepped towards the door while he sped back out.

Matt: "See what I have to go through?" Jeff silently peeked through the door. "Get out, Jeff." he said dully. He quickly closed the door.

-Back outside-

* * *

Later, during the elimination ceremony...

"Hi, GUYZZZ!" Melina exclaimed angrily(with her tongue still stuck on the same pole), glaring at her team.

Eve and Christian looked guilty while Randy just didn't care.

"Well, since it's like, your 5th time here or whatever, you all voted, and it's time to see who's leaving us today." Jericho said.

"Hey, Chris, here's your CAPpachino." Show announced, handing him one.

"Finally! It took you all damn day to-wait, if you're here, then who's flying this thing?" Jericho demanded.

A cardboard cutout of Spongebob was in the pilot's seat.

"Everything's all good." he replied.

"We're doomed, then." announced Christian.

"Ok, now for the results. Eve, Christian, you're safe." Jericho said, tossing them bags of peanuts.

"Whoop-de doo." Randy muttered.

"HEY!" Melina cried.

"Randy and Melina. One of you stays and one of you goes. And the person eliminated this week is..."

Melina tried to pry the pole from her tongue, while Randy nonchalantly sat there.

"Melina." he replied.

"WHA?" she demanded. "Did yuh guyzz do thiz?"

"Well, Mel, you could've at least told us where you were." Eve said meekly.

"Yeah, how were we supposed to know?" asked Christian.

"Meh." said Randy.

"It'z not fair dough! No es justo, yo no merezco esto!-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" she cried once Jericho casually shoved her out with a parachute.

"Agua. And there goes another one! Ah, shoving parasites outta planes, why didn't I think of this earlier?"

"Cause you're a dummy?" asked Christian.

"Nobody asked you!" he cried.

In the playas lounge, Team Deadly Bunny were celebrating, while Edge clung onto the door. "NONONONO! I WANNA STAY! I LOVE THIS PLACE!" he cried, while the rest of his team tried to tug him away.

"So did we, but we blew it and we have to go." replied Lita.

"I WANT IN! LET ME IN! PLEASE, I'LL PAY YOU!" he begged, once everyone got him unattached to the door.

"Let's go." replied Jeff.

"NO!" Edge cried miserably.


	9. Episode 5: New York

Total WWE, World Tour: Empire State of Mind

Episode #5

"Hey, wormies! The codebreaker, Chris Jericho here with another crazy episode of TWWT coming right up! Last week, we headed to the Yukon, where it was nothing but snow, cold, and frostbites all around. And the best part? It was in CANADA, YEAH! Anyways, the gang's challenge was to get themselves across an icy river, to the other side. There, the first members from each team would have to grab a sled and collect the rest of their teammates. Randy had a little sabotage in mind, and almost caused some major trouble for Eve, until Christian saved her from certain doom. Kelly turned into an icicle, while Punk used her for all the right reasons. Romance in the making, anyone? Hunter kept annoying his team with that darned puppet, and Jeff and Matt were at it again. The Hardys, along with Lita, also seemed to meet certain doom, until Maria saved the day from the evil polar bear. When it was sledding time, Jeff refused to follow orders from his big brother, while Matt had just about enough and cursed his little bro out, resulting in a fight! Who saw that coming eventually? Eve and Christian were collected by Randy, but the two still knew he was up to something. Evan and Mickie had a sweet little moment, while Punk was two seconds away from sending Hunter's puppet to that little puppet place in the sky. Anybody forgot about someone? Oh, yeah, Melina got herself frozen to a pole, and her team seemed not to notice. After Team Deadly Bunny was saved from falling 500 ft down, the race was on! It seemed that Team Peep Force 5 was to get their first win, until Team Deadly Bunny crossed the finish line first, giving them their first win. The winning streak for Team Misfits was over, and since Team Peep Force 5 forgot about Melina, they lost...again. And at the elimination ceremony, Melina was voted off for making her team lose. This week, will Christian and Eve find out what Orton has against them? Will the Peep Force 5 continue their horrendous losing streak? Will Punk and Kelly forget about their significant others and grow closer? And just how long will it be before Hunter's team just about has it with that puppet? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge, Team Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad were enjoying their time in luxury...

"Ah, this is the life, eh, Shawn?" Hunter asked his puppet, playing a video game with him on the HD TV. "Hey-hey, you can't do that! That's cheating!"

The puppet looked at him.

"Is so!" he argued.

Silence.

"IS SO!" Hunter argued back. "Hey, don't you talk to me like that!"

Meanwhile, Punk and Kelly were sitting across from each other, him sipping a Pepsi while Kelly sipped a Martini.

"Y'know, Kel, maybe it was a good thing that we didn't plot revenge on Jeff and Ria so soon or else we might never have made it in here." he said.

"I agree." she smiled. "It is so good to be back here again."

"Yeah. Kel, tell me something. It's pretty obvious that Ria and Jeff are into each other, so like, should we just leave them alone and see where things go for them?" he asked.

She looked thoughtful. "Well, they were together before they met us. Actually, we were the ones who broke them up the first time." she replied. "But to answer your question, I guess we should. Jeff just doesn't look at me the same way anymore." she said sadly.

"And Ria and I just can't seem to find peace anymore. I just dunno what to do." he sighed.

"Well, whatever happens, you have me to lean on." she smiled.

He smiled back. "Happy to hear that, Kels." he replied, toasting his drink with hers. While they drank, he heard Hunter arguing with Puppet Shawn and looked back towards them.

"What's wrong?" asked Kelly.

"That puppet friend of Hunter's over there? He has to go." he replied. "Simple as that."

"Yeah, but Shawn's already gone and that puppet's the only thing that Hunter has to keep him company." she replied.

"He has us! We're fun, too!" he replied.

Then, they looked back to find Evan and Mickie chatting by an open window, where a flying squirrel flew in and covered Evan's face. While he and Mickie both tried to pry it off of him, the two went flying off in different directions.

"See?" Punk concluded to Kelly. "Hunter needs to get rid of that puppet before his head doesn't get any more messed up than it already is!"

"How are we gonna convince him?" she asked.

"I have a plan. Watch and learn." he replied, getting up and heading towards Hunter and 'Shawn'. "Hey, dude, whatcha doin?"

"Hey, Punk. Shawn and I are just on the last level of Call of Duty, where I'M winning!" he shouted the last part to his puppet. "AM SO, Shawn!"

"...Yeah. Anyways, I just had a question for ya." he replied.

"Shoot."

"See all those clouds out there? Which one do you think looks like OJ Simpson?" he asked.

"OJ?" Hunter asked, confused. "Uh, let me see...chicken leg, no...satellite dish, no...whoa, is that a cow?"

While he was distracted, Punk quickly snatched away the puppet and went back to his and Kelly's table. "Voila." he concluded.

"Ooh, smart, CM!" she exclaimed.

"Now, for your grand finale..." he began, about to toss it out of the window. But before he did, Hunter grabbed Punk's arm, flipped him over to the other side, and snatched his puppet back.

"It's ok, the mean man won't assault you anymore." he told it, going back to his game.

"CM!" Kelly cried, rushing to him. "Oh my God, are you ok?"

"That puppet must die." he concluded weakly. "Hey...you hear something?"

They were all quiet to hear a snoring sound.

Then, he turned a chair around to find Edge sleeping there.

They all looked at one another, and soon after that, he was tossed out to the Losers section.

"OW! FINE! I'LL BE BACK!" he exclaimed. "The nerve of those people."

"I still can't believe we lost the last challenge." announced Maria. "I can't sleep on that wall anymore."

"Yeah, me neither." agreed Jeff. "My neck's killing me."

"Well, we wouldn't have to sleep on that wall if YOU hadn't cost us the last challenge!" Matt cried, pointing a finger at him.

"Aw, save it, dude. I stopped caring about what you have to say about me anymore." he replied dully.

"Can you guys please cool it down?" asked Lita. "If you just knock it off with the insults, we just might win again."

"Yeah, but Edge's on our team, too." Maria pointed out.

"Aw, yeah, we're screwed either way, then." she agreed.

Then, Eve walked past them. "Hey, guys. Hi, Matt!" she called.

"Eve." he replied.

"Emo." she told Lita, walking past her.

"Chica." she replied dully, turning the other way. "Have fun with your losing streak."

Angry, Eve glared back at her before storming back off. "You'll get yours soon." she replied.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Like I'm afraid of some thunder thigh..."

Eve: "Baggy pants wearing..."

Lita: "Hootchie short wearing..."

Eve: "Stringy haired..."

Lita: "Scarlet O' HUSSY!"

Eve: "Biker BIMBO!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Randy and Christian both saw Edge headed their way, and wanted to get his attention...

"Hey, Edge, over here!" Randy called.

"Edge, my man! Saved you a seat!" called Christian.

"Christian, get lost, I saw him first!" Randy argued.

"YOU get lost, hothead, he's MY best friend!" he argued.

"Oh. Oh my, guys fighting over me. This is awkward, yet flattering. Rand, Christian, let us all converse together." Edge said, leading them both to a table. "So, long time no see, eh? How's being on the same team treating you guys?"

Randy and Christian just glared at one another.

"Guys?" asked Edge.

"It's a dream come true." Randy said sarcastically.

"Yeah, Rand here tried to hurt Eve the other day. Why, I don't know." Christian replied, looking back at Randy.

"No comment." he replied.

Silence.

"Soo...you guys wanna hear about this zit I popped off of this guy's back the other day?" Edge asked eagerly.

After that, Hunter arrived from the Playa's lounge with a plate of goodies. "Hey, guys, listen. Shawn and I and the others all felt bad that you guys had to suffer in here, so we bring treats for you all." he announced.

Happy that they were being offered first class food, the others practically jumped him to the ground and devoured the treats like a bunch of ravage beasts!

Edge took the last crumb, while Hunter crawled away. "Jeez! That's the last time I try to be nice to you prudes." he replied.

_"Attention, parasites! Please meet me in the front of the plane for your next challenge!" _Jericho called from the intercom.

They all arrived to the drop zone, where there was a boat waiting for them.

"Hey, masomorphs, we got no time to waste, so hop in!" he exclaimed.

They all climbed in the boat, while Punk asked, "Whoa, are we going fishing or something?"

"Nope." Jericho replied, hopping in the boat before the drop door opened, sending them falling 400 ft down into a river.

They all shrieked as they fell, and soon enough they finally landed..

"Haha, that was pretty awesome." Jeff chuckled. "So, where the hell are we?"

"Well, my friends, welcome to good ol, New York City!" he exclaimed.

"COOL-We're in NY?-Sweet!" they all cheered.

"Finally, you parasites appreciate something of my choosing. Now-" he began.

"Ooh! Do we get to go to Times Square?" Maria asked excitedly.

"No. Now-"

"How about Radio City Music Hall?" she asked.

"NO. Now-"

"Madison Square Garden?" she asked.

Jericho just glared at her.

She looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry." she said innocently.

"Ok. So here's today's challenge. Each team must race a carriage to Central Park-" he began, while the boat sailed towards land.

"Hey, we don't have to be the horses, do we?" interrupted Hunter, while Punk tried to snatch the puppet away, but he shoved him away.

"Can I not be interrupted every 5 seconds?" Jericho asked back.

"Fine." Hunter replied, crossing his arms.

"All right, so the carriages are not horse drawn, but they are BABY carriages! HAHA!" he exclaimed.

"So, where are they, anyway?" asked Eve.

"Up there." he replied, pointing up to the Statue of Liberty. There's one carriage for each team up on Liberty's crown." he explained.

"Is there something on the ground, you know, to protect us in case we fall off and break our necks?" asked Matt.

"No." he replied.

"I'm not surprised." he finished dully.

"Well, here's nice suggestion. When one teammate reaches the top of the crown, they can help pull up the others. After the entire team reaches the crown and grabs their carriage, they must get back down, grab a boat down there, and race to Central Park. And we'll take things from there." he replied, while they finally reached land.

Maria raised her hand.

"Maria?"

"Do we get to go shopping?" she asked.

He crossed his arms and looked at her.

"Oh." she sighed, looking back down while Jeff wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Ok, parasites, GO!" Jericho cried, blowing a whistle.

Immediately after that, everyone raced towards the statue. Mickie and Evan reached the ropes first and quickly started climbing it.

"So, whaddya say we continue this little winning streak?" Mickie asked him, while they climbed.

"Totally. Hey, if we're lucky, we can beat the other team's winning streak!" Evan agreed, right before the flying squirrel returned and attacked his face. "OW! HEY!"

"Evan, just ignore it and keep climbing, ok?" she asked.

He nearly lost his grip on the rope, but agreed. "I'm trying!" he exclaimed.

Christian raced first to the ropes for his team, but as soon as he began climbing, the rope nearly cut his hands. "OY! What the hell kind of rope is this, ya dork?" he cried to Jericho.

"Ok, one: I am not a DORK, and two: the rope's a stainless steel one, tough and durable enough to withstand any parasite that uses it! Enjoy!" he exclaimed.

Christian rolled his eyes and continued to climb up. "Crazy haired little..ow..ow..ow..ow..."

"Ok, guys, I'll climb first before anybody starts yelling and giving me a headache." Lita announced before heading off.

"Wait. I have a plan on how we should climb." replied Matt.

"Oh, yeah, a plan from you. I remember how well THAT worked." Jeff muttered.

Matt glared at him. "Look, BRAT-" he began.

"HEY, HEY!" announced Edge.

Everyone looked at him.

"As the leader of this team, I say we should-"

"SHUT UP." Lita, Matt, and Jeff all interrupted.

"Don't you tell ME to shut up-I'm not a brat-yes you are-guys, will you just shut it?" the four argued.

Then, Maria blew up a paper bag and popped it, startling the others.

"Guys, can't we all just climb at the same time?" she asked. "Two to a rope, one gets the third rope, ok?"

After that, they followed her plan, Jeff and Maria climbing on one rope, Matt climbing on one on his own, while Lita climbed one, with Edge following her and he then looked up at her from below.

"Hey.." he smirked.

Lita realized that Edge was getting a look at her, and told him, "Perv, eyes DOWN, before I blind you."

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "She wants me."

-back outside-


	10. Ep 5, pt 2

Over 25 minutes later, nobody reached the top of the crown yet...

"Uh..I think my hands are bleeding from this rope." Hunter announced. "Shawn, be my hand and help us both up."

It looked back at him.

"Cause I told you to!...I CAN SO tell you what to do! You wanna win, don't you?...Don't yell at me!" he exclaimed, while Punk swung his rope towards him, and tried to snatch away the puppet, but he shoved him away, causing Punk to slam into a wall.

"Ow." he groaned.

"Aw, don't let that hurt you, dude. Be a man!" Kelly smirked.

Dazed, he replied, "I'll be all the man you need...hehe!"

Later, many people finally reached the top of the crown, except for Hunter, Christian, and Matt...

Jericho, in the meantime, was getting extremely impatient. "Aw, COME ON! It's been like, an hour! My grandma runs faster than you people!" he called.

After that, Matt reached the top, while Team Misfits helped to pull him up, making them the first team to reach the top.

"All right, we all made it first!" Maria exclaimed.

"Thanks to your plan, beautiful." Jeff replied, kissing her hand while she smiled and blushed.

"You know, I've just realized that everyone on this team brings some kinda use, y'know?" asked Lita. "Maria's the lifesaver, I try to keep the peace around here, you two use your...brother willpower to get us through challenges, and Edge here, well, he's just a moron."

"Agreed-yep-totally." the other three argued.

"Oh, AM I?" he demanded. "I'll show you all how valuable I am to this team! In fact...I'll-I'll be the one to get the carriage from offa there! Yeah, just you watch me!"

As he went off, Matt replied, "He might fall off."

Silence.

"HA!" they laughed.

After a few seconds, Edge returned with the carriage. "FEAR ME!" he exclaimed.

"Well, you're still a moron. Now, how the hell are we supposed to get down from this thing?" asked Lita.

"Down that lovely pole over there." Jericho replied. "50 stories high!"

They all looked down from it.

"Eh, I'll do it." Lita replied, sliding down...

*CRASH!*

_"OW!...I'm good!" _she weakly called back.

After that, the others shrugged it off and slid down, one by one. Meanwhile, Team Peep Force 5 pulled Christian up, and had to retrieve the carriage next.

"You ok, Christian?" asked Eve.

"Climb a little slower, will ya?" Randy cried sarcastically.

Christian glared at him. "I'm fine, Eve, thanks." he replied. "Hey, Randy, since you're in such a good mood, why don't YOU go over to the edge and grab that carriage for us?"

"Fine, I will." he replied, heading off.

"Watch your step." he replied, while Eve giggled.

Randy carefully arrived to the edge of one of the points on the crown, where he was able to grab the carriage. "Thank me." he replied, heading down the pole without them.

"I want to slap him." Eve announced.

"Don't we all?" Christian agreed.

While they slid down behind him, Team Deadly Bunny was left, still trying to pull Hunter up.

"COME ON, MAN!" Punk called to him, tugging on the rope along with the rest of his team.

"OW!-OW!-OW!" Hunter cried, while his team continuously pulled him towards Liberty's nose, bumping his head each time. "Are ya tryin to crack my skull? Ease it up up there! *lands up nose* I'm gonna kill you guys."

Down below, Team Misfits reached their boat first, and all hopped in. Matt started the boat, and sped off as Jeff tried to climb in.

"AAH!" he cried, slipping into the water. "HELLO?"

Maria noticed that Jeff was left behind, and called, "TURN THE BOAT AROUND! WE NEED TO GET JEFF!"

"WHAT?" Matt called, not hearing her over the engine.

Back on the crown, Team Deadly Bunny finally managed to pull up Hunter...

"Finally." Hunter muttered. "I think my brain may be bleeding internally."

"So can I take away this puppet?" Punk asked, about to snatch 'Shawn'.

Hunter stopped him. "I'm not THAT out of it." he replied.

"Ok, guys, we gotta get the carriage thingy cause we're dead last!" cried Kelly.

"I'll do it!" Mickie exclaimed, gracefully doing a few backflips towards the edge, grabbing the carriage and then sliding down the pole. "Come on, guys!" she called.

"Bravo, Mickie!" Evan exclaimed, impressed. He sped towards the pole, but slammed face first into it and slid down, and Punk, Kelly, and Hunter all followed him down.

Back down, Team Peep Force 5 hopped into their boat next, while Jeff frantically tried to climb into their boat.

"Hey, Jeff!" Eve and Christian greeted.

"Hey, guys, can I have a ride with you, since my team abandoned me?" he asked.

Before they could reply, Randy said, "You're on your own, Hardy. See you around. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed as he started the boat and sped off.

"OH, SCREW YOU, ORTON!" he called after him.

After that, he miserably turned around to find the Deadly Bunnies' boat speeding towards him. "I'm road kill." he said nervously.

The Deadly Bunnies ran over him, but didn't notice. "Hey, guys, did we run over something?" asked Mickie.

"Nah." replied Punk.

Then, Jeff grabbed onto a rope that came from the boat and started water skiing behind them. "Booyah." he said before crashing into a buoy.

After a few seconds, Team Misfits' boat finally returned for him. "Well, thank your BFF for getting us to come back for you." Matt said, pulling his dazed brother back into their boat. "Or else we would've left ya!"

Now in first place, Team Peep Force 5 were shocked that they were actually in the lead...

"Hey, we're in the lead again! You think we'll actually have a chance this time?" asked Eve.

"No." replied Randy.

"Ignore him, Eve, I think we will." replied Christian. "Wait, how ARE we gonna get to Central Park with this boat, I mean, there isn't any water there."

After he said that, the boat sped past a few other buoys, and then they found themselves in a dark sewer.

"WHOA! What crawled and died in this thing?" demanded Randy, holding his nose.

"I dunno, maybe you caused it. Seems like everything you come in contact with seems to die. Oh, look, I think a few flowers just shriveled up when he went by them." replied Christian.

Eve laughed while Randy splashed some sewer water at him.

"HEY!" he cried in protest.

*GROWL*

"W-What was that?" asked Eve. "I heard a sound. Is it some kinda monster?"

"Criminy." Randy muttered.

"Nah, Eve, monsters in sewers are just a myth. At least that's what this hobo told me one time."

Meanwhile, Team Deadly Bunny were in another part of the sewer and heard the strange sound, too.

*GROWL*

"Well, it's not my stomach growling like that." announced Hunter.

The puppet looked at him.

"And what's THAT crack supposed to mean, Shawn?" he demanded. "...Oh, REALLY? We'll, you're a bigger one!"

While he and the puppet were arguing, Punk grabbed a huge pair of pliers and tried to snatch the puppet away, but Hunter flung the pliers away, smacking Punk square in the face. "OW!" he cried.

"CM, you ok?" asked Kelly.

"That puppet must die." he said, pissed.

*GROWL!* a HUGE crocodile roared, leaping over their boat and blocking their path.

"AAH!" they screamed.

"...If we don't die first. HANG TIGHT, EVERYONE!" Punk cried, swerving their boat around the crocodile.

While they did, Team Misfits arrived, flying in the air after using the croc's back as a ramp, and sped away from the hungry animal for their lives.

"What was that?" Hunter asked quickly, seeing the other team's boat fly past them. After the chase, Teams Peep Force 5 and Deadly Bunny made it out of the sewer first.

"Well ,we survived. Where's the other team?" asked Evan.

Then, the crocodile popped its head out of the sewer and spat out Team Misfits, while they were covered in crocodile saliva.

"Whoa, you guys ok?" asked Mickie.

They said nothing while Maria started sobbing in hopelessness.

After that, they met back up with Jericho and Big Show at Central Park...

"Well, wasn't that exciting, my stinky little piggies? HAHAHAHA!" Jericho laughed, wearing a mask.

They all glared at him, while Christian tossed a dead fish towards him.

"HEY! Now, first, Show, grab me a mochacchino." he announced.

"What's with all the coffee? Why don't you drink something simple like, Gatorade or something?" he asked.

"Did I ASK for a Gatorade?" he demanded.

Angry, he went off to make the mocacchino. "Did he ask for a punch in the face?" he muttered.

"Anyway, here's the next part of your challenge. There's a pond around here in Central Park called Piranha Pond, cause, you know, there are piranhas inside. Now, I've assigned each team a path to take to reach said pond, and once you get there, there are apples in the pond. One member from each team must retrieve one apple from the pond, only using their mouth to do so. The rest of you will carry your apple in your carriage, and race to the finish line. Oh, yeah. And another person from each team needs to ride in the carriage, cause I find it degrading and humiliating for you. Any questions?" he asked.

"...Wha happened?" Hunter asked, waking up.

"Just go." he announced.

"Ooh! I want to ride in the carriage!" Eve exclaimed, leaping inside.

"Want to be lazy, now do you?" asked Randy.

Eve glared at him while Christian threw another dead fish at him.

"So, who's gonna ride in the thing?" asked Punk.

Then, they all turned around to find Kelly already taking a nap in theirs.

"All righty then." he finished.

"Ok, somebody push me in this thing." Edge announced, about to hop in.

"No, Edge, you didn't even do anything!" exclaimed Maria. "I think that Jeff deserves to ride in the carriage. He's been through a lot lately."

"Yeah, I have!" he agreed, leaping in the carriage.

"That carriage suits you, LITTLE BRAT." Matt said with a smirk.

"Ok, parasites, your paths are marked for you, now GET LOST!" Jericho called.

Edge snatched their team's carriage and sped off.

"HELP, I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!" Jeff cried.

While they all headed off, the song bell rang. *DING DING!*

"No, no, NO!" Randy cried.

"Time for another song, parasites! Not everyone has to sing this time, but sing one about the good ol Big Apple, and uh, make it a rap one. Something different for a change." he called to them.

"Maria?" asked Mickie.

"On it." she replied, playing Jay Z's 'Empire State of Mind' on her ipod.

Hunter (lip synching): "Yea I'm out that Brooklyn, now I'm down in Tribeca  
right next to Deniro, but I'll be hood forever  
I'm the new Sinatra, and... since I made it here  
I can make it anywhere, yea, they love me everywhere  
I used to cop in Harlem, all of my Dominicano's  
right there up on Broadway, pull me back to that McDonald's  
Took it to my stashbox, 560 State St.  
catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons with them Pastry's  
Cruisin' down 8th St., off white Lexus  
drivin' so slow, but BK is from Texas  
Me, I'm out that Bed-Stuy, home of that boy Biggie  
now I live on Billboard and I brought my boys with me  
Say what's up to Ty-Ty, still sippin' mai tai's  
sittin' courtside, Knicks & Nets give me high five  
Man I be Spike'd out, I could trip a referee  
Tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from..."

Mickie/Kelly: "New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There's nothin' you can't do  
Now you're in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let's hear it for New York, New York,  
New York…"

Christian (lip synching): "Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game  
Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous then a Yankee can  
You should know I bleed blue, but I ain't a Crip though  
but I got a gang of boys walkin' with my clique though  
Welcome to the melting pot, corners where we sellin' rock  
Afrika Bambataa shit, home of the hip-hop  
Yellow cab, gypsy cab, dollar cab, holla back  
for foreigners it ain't for, they act like they forgot how to act  
8 million stories, out there in it naked  
City, it's a pity, half of y'all won't make it  
Me, I got a plug, Special Ed "I Got It Made"  
If Jeezy's payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade  
Three dice cee-lo, three Card Monty  
Labor Day Parade, rest in peace Bob Marley  
Statue of Liberty, long live the World Trade  
Long live the King yo, I'm from the Empire State that's…"

Eve: "New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There's nothin' you can't do  
Now you're in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let's hear it for New York, New York,  
New York…"

Jeff (lip synching): "Lights is blinding, girls need blinders  
so they can step out of bounds quick, the sidelines is  
lined with casualties, who sip to life casually  
then gradually become worse, don't bite the apple eve  
Caught up in the in-crowd, now you're in style  
Anna Wintour gets cold, in Vogue with your skin out  
City of sin, it's a pity on the wind  
Good girls gone bad, the city's filled with them  
Mami took a bus trip, now she got her bust out  
Everybody ride her, just like a bus route  
Hail Mary to the city, you're a virgin  
And Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church end  
Came here for school, graduated to the high life  
Ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight  
MDMA got you feelin' like a champion  
The city never sleeps, better slip you an Ambien…"

Lita: "New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There's nothin' you can't do  
Now you're in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let's hear it for New York, New York,  
New York…"

Maria: "One hand in the air for the big city  
Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty  
No place in the world that could compare  
Put your lighters in the air  
Everybody say "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"

Kelly "New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
Mickie:There's nothin' you can't do  
Eve: Now you're in New York

Lita: These streets will make you feel brand new  
Maria: Big lights will inspire you  
All: Let's hear it for New York, New York,  
New York…"

After the song ended, each team arrived to the pond at the same time...

"Hey, how the hell did you people make it here so fast?" Randy asked the other teams.

"I want us to win so I can get back in that luxury room on the plane, so THAT'S WHY!" replied Edge.

"And I'm trying to get as far away from that damned puppet as possible." Punk muttered.

"HEY!" Hunter cried, offended.

"Whoa, have those apples been injected with something?" Mickie asked, seeing how huge the three apples were.

"Well, I'll get ours, so's at least we'll TRY not to lose for the 50 billionth time." Randy muttered, trailing off.

"Do you ever understand what he's saying?" asked Christian.

"So, who wants to-" began Punk.

"Not me." Evan replied, the flying squirrel attacking his face again.

"Get off of him!" Mickie exclaimed, prying the squirrel off of him.

"Eh, I'll do it. Shawn, stay here." Hunter said, heading to the pond.

Seeing the puppet unguarded, Punk mustered a smile. "Heh heh heh.."

Lita was about to go in the pond for her team, when she noticed that Punk was smiling evily at the puppet. "You all right there, smiley?" she asked him.

"Yeah...see, this puppet right here? He's gonna die!" he exclaimed, laughing maniacally.

"Ok, seriously, Punk, you need to calm it down." Kelly said.

Stunned, Punk snatched the puppet and ran off. "NO! NEVER! PUPPET WILL DIE!" he cried.

"This never happened, right?" Lita asked Kelly.

"Never." she agreed, going back to sleep.

While she was asleep, Edge had a plan to cost the Deadly Bunny Team a win. He made sure that nobody was looking, casually wheeled her carriage next to another baby carriage, and took the foreign carriage and brung it back to their team.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "I WILL get that luxury room back, just you watch me!"

-Back outside-

* * *

In the pond, Hunter used his head to push the huge apple out, while Randy bit the stem and pulled it towards them, and Lita dived underneath, and managed to balance the apple on her head. While Randy as on his way out, a piranha leaped onto his shirt and started biting him. "OW!" he cried. "GET OFFA ME!" After that, a whole crew of piranhas ambushed Randy and started attacking him! "AAH!"

"Great pool party, eh, Rand?" Christian called to him.

Hunter reached the end, but caught Punk holding a lighter and was seconds away from igniting the puppet with it.

He gasped. "SHAWN!" he cried, tossing the huge apple at Punk, nearly knocking him unconscious. "OOF!" he cried.

"Shawn, you all right?" he asked, checking up on him.

"Guys, we better get going while we still have the lead!" Evan exclaimed, picking up the apple and putting it in the carriage.

Meanwhile, Randy arrived out of the pond, his clothes torn into shreds and scratches all over his face.

"Aww, what happened?" Christian asked in mock sympathy.

"Just...take..it." he replied, handing him the apple, but before he could, a HUGE piranha leaped up and ate the apple!

Eve gasped. "NO!" she cried.

"Should've saw that coming." Randy concluded. "Let's just go to the finish line so's we can lose already."

Lita made it out of the pond, and tossed the apple towards the carriage, not realizing that Jeff was still in it. "OW!" he cried, while the apple nearly crushed him.

"Oops, sorry, dude!" she apologized. "Let's just go already."

Meanwhile, the Deadly Bunnies raced to the finish line and were first!

"YEAH! WOOHOO!" they cheered.

"Kel, isn't this great, we won!" Punk exclaimed, removing the apple to find someone else's baby. "Kel?"

"Moomoo googoo gigi poopoo weewee!" it exclaimed.

They looked in shock.

"Soo...who's changing her diaper?" asked Hunter.

In another part of the park...

"Ok, baby, who needs a good changing?" the baby's mother asked, about to change Kelly. "AAAAAAAH!"

"AAAAAAAAHH!" Kelly screamed, waking up.

"You're not my baby!" she cried.

"You're not my mommy!" Kelly cried next.

Then, Punk rushed back to the scene and replaced the baby's carriage and snatched Kelly and their team's carriage back. "Ma'am, I am so sorry for the mix up-" he apologized.

"Get the hell away from my baby!" the mother exclaimed, whacking him with her purse while he and Kelly sped off.

"OW! OW! I said I was sorry!" he cried.

After that, Team Misfits (with their carriage) crossed the finish line first, followed by Team Peep Force 5, and Punk and Kelly arriving last.

"AND IT ENDS!" announced Jericho. "Team Misfits, looks like you win once again!"

"YEAH!-WOOHOO!" they cheered.

Edge started sobbing happily. "I get my luxury room back! See, if you put your mind to it, you CAN do anything!"

"And Team Peep Force 5, you may not get to stay in the Playa's Lounge, but at least you won second place for a change, isn't that great?" asked Jericho.

"Hoo-rah." Randy replied.

"And Team Deadly bunny blahblahblah, I'm afraid you'll have to nominate someone for elimination tonight." he told them.

"Well, who the hell switched our carriage?" asked Mickie. "We would've had this if Punk didn't have to go back!"

"I'd still vote Punk off for almost setting my friend on FIRE!" Hunter exclaimed, glaring at him.

"Hey, that puppet has to die, all right?" Punk argued.

"YO, MASOMORPHS!" cried Jericho. "I lied, none of you guys are going home, this whole thing was a reward challenge."

"Yay!" cheered Kelly.

"You got lucky today!" Hunter and Punk cried to each other.

"Well, I don't care, plan worked, I still got my luxury room back." Edge muttered.

Later, in the plane, team Misfits were in the elimination area to discuss their reward...

"Ok, friends, as you can see, we have three apples in front of us." Jericho announced. "There are prizes in each apple, and you have the choice to either keep or throw away the prizes. Here, take your pick." he said, tossing a hammer to Maria.

"Ok." she replied, breaking open the apple to find a bunch of candy. "Yum! So, any of you guys want candy?"

"Are there Skittles in there?" asked Jeff.

"Yep!"

"MINE!" he cried, quickly scooping up the whole stash.

"Share that!" Matt cried, taking some of the candy.

"My turn." Lita replied, hitting the second apple, to find more apples to spill out. "Fun, more apples." she said dully, taking a couple of them.

"Ok, since I helped us to win by switching the other team's carriages, I'll open the last one." Edge announced.

"You WHAT?" the others cried, shocked.

"It was a community service for the team, lighten up!" he replied, opening the last apple to find a meat grinder. "What the hell is this thing?"

"Looks like a meat grinder." replied Matt.

Edge made a face. "I don't want this crap." he replied.

"Edge, wait, we might need that thing!" cried Lita.

But before she could say anything else, he kicked the meat grinder out of the plane. "And my job is done."

Jericho silently chuckled. "Oh, you guys are so screwed." he said quietly, walking off.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Jeff.

While the team glared at Edge, he said, "Did I do something wrong?"


	11. TWWT Chatterbox 1

TWWT Chatterbox 1: Attack of the Angry Women/It's the Puppet or Me!

Episode #6

_"Because you had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_You had to open up your mouth, _

_You had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_All your friends were so knocked out,_

_You had to have the last word, last night,_

_You know what everything's about,_

_You had to have a white hot spotlight,_

_You had to be a big shot last night..."_

The audience cheered as John Morrison and Candice Michelle came onstage.

"Hey, everybody, welcome to the TWWT Chatterbox...the second coming." Candice said dramatically.

"That's right, and since last season's hosts for the Chatterbox, CM Punk and Maria are out somewhere in the world competing, we're here to take over, and the best part of it is..." began Morrison.

"NO JERICHO!" cheered Candice. *sighs* "Or John."

"I'm right here, Candy." he replied, confused.

"No, I mean Cena. I miss him." she replied.

"AWW!" exclaimed the audience.

"Thanks, you guys, but it's all right. Johnny, sweetie, wherever you are, I miss you so much!" she exclaimed.

"He's probably lost out in the middle of Alaska or something." Dave Batista said surely. "Hope he doesn't get frostbite, all alone, wandering with the Eskimos.."

"Ok, I think you've helped enough!" she cried.

"Oh, and we almost forgot. Since everyone else is out competing, Dave's the only guy who's uh, unemployed at the moment, so he's here instead as our commentator." explained Morrison.

"I am NOT unemployed!" he argued. "I'm just...at a standstill after my lawyer sued me. And won."

"Serves you right for almost killing me last season, when you fell from that tower and crushed me!" Candice exclaimed.

"It was a couple of bruises, don't be a drama queen, Ms. Cena." he replied.

"DRAMA QUEEN?" she demanded. "Let me tell you-"

"Ok, let's get right to the show! Our guests today have been through some crazy messes and unexpected surprises, please meet our first guest, the Queen of Rated RKO, Michelle McCool!" Morrison interrupted.

"Eh." Candice grumbled. "God, she makes me sick."

"Hmm...come to think about it, let's just move on to our next guest, who-" Morrison began.

_"You're not enough for me...just another man in love with me..."_ Michelle's theme song played.

"Move on? Oh, I don't think so. I'm here and now, this room already feels renewed with my flawlessness." she said proudly.

Some of the audience jeered, while some guys wolf whistled.

"Michelle." Candice said, glaring at her.

"Princess. I'd update you on where your precious John is, but uh, he could be anywhere. Maybe eaten by sharks in the Pacific, somewhere in the Middle east-*gasps* maybe even with another woman!"

As a reply, Candice slapped her across the face.

"OH!" the audience cheered.

"Don't you slap me, you little bitch!" Michelle snapped back, tackling her down to the ground.

"WOOOO! JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!" the audience exclaimed.

"WRONG SHOW, PEOPLE!" Morrison cried. "Hey, Dave, do something, will ya?"

"But I like a good catfight." he replied.

A shoe nearly hit him on the head.

"All right." he replied, acting as a bodyguard. "Break it up, break it up." he said, standing between them.

"Ok, ok, you're right. I'm better than her, I don't need to stoop to her level." Candice replied, taking a seat on the couch, while Michelle sat on the other side of the stage.

"Now that we're all civilized again, Michelle, how's it feel to be kicked off the show so early?" asked Morrison.

"Well, I'm pissed, of course. But if anyone, blame that Christian, and this 'Canadian' crap. It's not my fault he's so sensitive." he replied.

"That brings me to my next question. Do you have a thing against Canadians?" asked Morrison.

"Why would I? I'm friends with Edge, aren't I? I just can't stand Jericho or Christian, is all. Or that crazy psycho Natalya." she replied.

"Well, sounds like majority over minority, she has something against Canadians if you ask me." Candice said with an evil smile.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the audience jeered even louder.

"AW, SCREW ALL OF YA!" she shouted.

"Wow, you and Orton really do belong together." Morrison chuckled. "Now, let's bring out our next guest. She's feisty, spunky, my incredibly HOT senorita-"

Michelle groaned loudly.

"Please welcome, Melina!" he exclaimed.

The audience cheered, but she never came out.

"Uh...MELINA!" he repeated.

She still didn't come out.

"AWWWWWW!" cried the audience.

"Where is she?" asked Candice.

"I don't know." Morrison replied, confused.

Then, on the big screen, the camera cut to Melina in the green room, tied up, with tape covering her mouth.

"MMMMM!MMMM!" she cried.

"MELINA!" Morrison cried, while Michelle casually admired her nails.

"I got her." Dave said, heading backstage.

"And with that, we'll be right back after the commercial break! Stay with us!" Candice exclaimed.

"Princess." Michelle muttered.

"OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?" she demanded.

"GO TO COMMERCIAL ALREADY!" Morrison cried.

* * *

"And we're back with the TWWT Chatterbox, and I think Dave's finally got a hold of Melina. Dave, you there?" asked Candice.

After that, he returned, holding a furious Melina in his arms. "She tried to bite me." he announced.

"MICHELLE!" she cried, struggling to get free.

"Let's just keep it cool, for now-" began Dave.

"PERMITA QUE VAYA EN ESTE MOMENTO ASI QUE PUEDO PATEAR SU ASNO!" she screamed.

Confused, Dave let her go. "She's all yours." he replied.

"Oh, hi, Melina. Fancy seeing you here." Michelle said nonchalantly.

"Cut the crap. You tied me up back there, so's that you'd get all the air time, RIGHT?" she demanded.

"There weren't any witnesses." she replied.

"Oh, yeah, well, just remember this. I am a Maybelline mogul, all right? You've been cast in 1 and only 1 makeup commercial, and as you can see, they don't want you back. As for me, well, I have that charm that you don't seem to have. That's why I've been offered a multi million dollar contract to model for Maybelline!" Melina exclaimed.

While Michelle growled, the audience cheered.

"Oh, go stick your tongue back on that pole." Michelle muttered.

"That's my girl, wouldn't want her any other way." Morrison replied.

"Aww, John!" Melina exclaimed, sharing a kiss with him. "I missed you so much!"

"So, Mel, how-" Candice began, still seeing the two of them kissing. "Uh, Mel?"

Michelle threw a pillow at them.

They looked back at them.

"Trying to keep my lunch down, thank you." she replied.

"Anyway, Mel, how's it feel to be kicked outta the competition so early?" asked Candice.

"Well, I would've still been there if Christian and Eve didn't forget about me back in Canada." she replied.

"You mad at them for it?" she asked.

"Eh, I'll get over it. I'm just still recovering from having that pole stuck to my tongue. It took me 5 hours and about 4 gallons of hot water to free myself. And look at meh tongue!" she cried, sticking out her tongue to find a burn where the pole was.

"Ooh!" cried Candice.

"I know that hurt." Morrison replied, wincing.

"EWW!" Michelle exclaimed obnoxiously.

Melina threw a pillow back at her.

"But whatever, I'm just happy to be back with you, my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday Night Delight." Melina replied with a smile.

"Right back at cha, my Paparazzi Princess." Morrison replied while they started kissing again.

"WHOOOOO!" the audience exclaimed.

"...Ok. Time to bring out our third and final guest, he's the first to have been eliminated, but wants to send an important message to a certain someone. So without further ado, let's bring out our third guest, Shawn Michaels!" exclaimed Candice.

_"I think I'm cute. I know I'm sexy. I got the looks, that drive the girls wild, I got the moves, that really move 'em, I send chills, up and down their spine, I'm just a sexy boy (sexy boy), I'm not your boy toy (boy toy), I'm just a sexy boy..."_

The audience cheered wildly once Shawn arrived and waved to everyone. "HEY, PEOPLES!"

After he greeted Candice, Melina, and Morrison, he said, "Welcome to the show, Shawn."

"Well, thank you for having me." he replied. "I've been meaning to get something off of my chest lately ever since I saw Hunter and that...that…PUPPET."

"Yeah, even though I wasn't on the same team as him, I never understood why he carried that thing." agreed Melina.

"Maybe he was deprived or something as a kid." replied Dave. "You think you know a guy."

"Well, I just want to give him a message. Hey, Hunter? If you're watching, I want you to get rid of that ridiculous sock thing, and try to get yourself back to normal. That puppet, number one, looks NOTHING like me, and two, I'm getting worried about you, man. So just do yourself and everyone else a favor, and get rid of that thing, you'll survive without me." Shawn told a camera.

"Shawn, do you feel betrayed that he replaced you with a puppet?" asked Candice.

"More like embarrassed. That thing's just a cheap piece of sock, but I'm the real deal! I'm way more fun than that thing! That puppet doesn't even enjoy pancakes the same way that I do." he said darkly. "Yes, this is a serious matter."

While everyone was quiet for a moment, Morrison broke the silence and said, "So, how's it feel to be the first one eliminated?"

"I dunno, now I just want a pancake." he replied.

"Hey, hey, wait!" Michelle exclaimed to him. "Shawn, I just remembered, you have a problem with Canadians too, right?"

"Uh..no, not Canadians, I just dislike the country of Canada for reasons you must not know." he replied.

She looked back at the audience. "Oh, so when I mention Candians, they boo me, but when he does, they don't?" she demanded.

"Cause Shawn's cool and everyone likes him. Can't say the same for you." Melina replied.

"AGH!" she cried, going back to her chair, while the audience laughed.

"Ok, I've been told that during this season, since there's singing involved, guests have to sing here, too." Morrison said, reading a cue card.

"Nooooooo..." Michelle groaned.

"Wait, wait, I got an even better idea!" exclaimed Morrison. "Since Melina and Michelle are all catty today, whaddya say we have a match between the two, right here, right now?"

"YEAH!" the audience cheered.

While some interns brought out a ring, Candice added, "But while you fight, you sing at the same time."

"All right, I'll take it!" Melina exclaimed with a smile.

"If it gives me a chance to beat the hell outta her, then I'm in." Michelle replied.

"Uh, I don't feel like singing, so can I be referee?" asked Shawn. "I have good experience with refereeing."

"Ok!" replied Candice.

"What do I do?" asked Dave.

"Uh...you can be special enforcer or something, I dunno." replied Morrison.

"Ok." he replied.

The two got in the ring, and Candice said, "All right, let's have a good clean fight. As soon as the music starts, come out singing and fighting, all right? Let's do this!"

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone exclaimed.

"Don't hurt me, ok, ladies?" asked Shawn, who wore a referee shirt. "I'm fragile."

"You're goin down, you pint sized Mexican squirt." Michelle said with an evil smile.

"Oh, bite me, usted pedazo de basura!" she replied.

Then, the song 'Girlfight' by Brooke Valentine came on, and the girls started fighting.

Both (circling around each other in the ring): "We 'bout to throw them bows, We bout to swing them things (2x)There's about to be a what? Girlfight!"  
Melina: "There she go talkin' her mess, all around town makin' me stress, I need to get this off my chest, and if her friend want some then she'll be next. It really ain't that complicated, y'all walking round looking all frustrated, want some 'plex come on let's make it, ya acting real hard but I know ya fakin'"  
Michelle: "Know you really don't wanna step to this, Really don't know why you talkin' shit, You're about to catch one right in the lip, It's about to be a what? Girlfight!"  
Both: "We bout to throw them bows, We bout to swing them things (2x), It's about to be a what? Girlfight!"  
Michelle: "We're on our way to your neighborhood, the reason why we're comin' is understood, me and my girls we're down to ride, so when you hear us pull up bring ya butt outside, and if you try to call your cousin and them, don't forget that I got some of them, 'bout to go real hard, 'bout to swing them things, 'bout to feel elbows all in ya brain,"  
Melina: "Know you really don't wanna step to this, really don't know why you talkin' shit, you're 'bout to catch one right in the lip, it's about to be a what? Girlfight!"  
Both: "We bout to throw them bows, We bout to swing them things (2x), It's 'bout to be a what? Girlfight!"  
Dave: "Oh snap, these bitches they act like cats In the middle of the dance floor now they preparing to scrap. They're takin out their scrunchies and pullin' off their press on's, the one on the right is the girlfriend and the one the left is the other woman. Someone please call security, These girls too purty to get down to the nitty titty-I mean the nitty gritty-I mean her titty pretty, I'm trippin' being silly willy, man go on let them girls fight."  
Both: "We bout to throw them bows, We bout to swing them things (2x), It's about to be a what? ...Girlfight! Don't act like you don't know, We right outside your door, see you peekin' out the window, I know you ain't talking noise no more..."  
Melina: "Bitch come outside."  
Michelle: "Don't act like you don't see me."  
Both: "I know you heard me pullin' up uh, come outside, uh, come outside, uh We down to ride.."  
Melina (swings a KO punch towards her): "It's about to be a... Girlfight!"

After Michelle was knocked out and the song was over, Shawn raised Melina's arm in victory.

"And here's your winner, Melina!" he exclaimed.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they exclaimed.

"I know." she replied with a smile.

"Ok, everyone, that's all the time we have for today, thanks for joining us on the TWWT Chatterbox!" exclaimed Candice.

"Remember, take care of yourselves, and each other." Morrison added, lifting Melina into his arms. "I know we will."

She giggled before they started kissing again. "Bye, everyone!"

"I'm gonna go get a beer now." Dave said, heading off.

"And Hunter, GET RID OF THAT PUPPET!" Shawn cried to the camera. "That will be all."


	12. Episode 7: Germany

Total WWE, World Tour: Herzenskummer Und Deutschland (Heartbreak in Germany)

Episode #7

"Hello, my loyal parasites! The codebreaker, Chris Jericho here with another looney episode of TWWT coming right up! Last week, we headed to the Big Apple, New York for some baby carriage racing fun! During the first challenge, the competitors had to climb up Lady Liberty, grab a carriage, and race through stinky sewers and reach Central Park. Evan got attacked by a few flying squirrels, Punk continuously tried to rid Hunter of his puppet pal Shawn, and Team Misfits, as usual, couldn't agree on a solid plan until Maria set them straight. Later, the Misfits were the first to reach the top and retrieve their carriage and headed down. Team Peep Force 5-or should I say, 3, were in second place, while Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah all had a hard time getting Hunter to join them. Down below, Team Misfits raced off in their boat first, followed by Team Peep Force 3, and The Deadly Bunnies coming in last. The Misfits' lead wouldn't be very long though, once they left Jeff behind and had to rescue him. After nearly getting killed by crocodiles, each team survived and reached Central Park, where they had to reach Piranha Pond and retrieve apples and head to the finish line. While Hunter volunteered to get the apple for his team, it was the perfect chance for Punk to destroy his puppet once and for all! Meanwhile, Randy got attacked by piranhas, and Edge, being the opportunist that he is, decided to sabotage the Deadly Bunnies' by switching their carriage with a REAL baby's carriage! That trick worked for Team Misfits, since they reached the finish line first, followed by Team Peep Force 3, and finally The Deadly Bunnies, who had to make a second trip to make a baby switch, and uh, Punk got beat by a woman, haha. Just when they thought they lost for the day, Team Deadly Bunnies were safe, and Team Misfits met with me for the reward part of the challenge. They had three prizes, which they could either choose to keep, or get rid of. Edge stepped up to the plate to reveal a meat grinder, but as foolish and moronic as he was, he tossed it out like yesterday's garbage! This week, what trouble will Team Misfits be in without their most valuable prize? Will Punk finally succeed in getting rid of Hunter's puppet? And who will get the boot next? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Losers section of the plane, Teams Peep Force 3 and The Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad were all chatting with one another...

"Man, I miss playing PS3 back in the Playa's Lounge, don't you, Shawn?" Hunter asked his puppet.

No reply.

"I COULD SO beat you at The Fast and the Furious!" he cried.

No reply.

"What? YOU'RE the one who cheated!" he argued. "...Did not!...Did NOT! Shawn, don't you argue with me!...Wait, what do you mean, you got an itch and you can't reach it?...WHERE do you want me to scratch?"

Meanwhile, he caught everyone staring at him like he was crazy.

"WHAT?" he asked.

"Hunter, we're getting worried about you." Mickie said sympathetically.

"Worried? Why? I'm fine." he replied.

"Yeah, but we mean, uh, that sock-" began Evan.

"He's not a sock!" he argued.

"Right. Anyway, you really gotta, uh, how should I put it..." he continued.

"GET RID OF THAT THING!" Punk exclaimed angrily. "Look, man, I've never had any type of problem with you until now. You're losing your mind over this thing, and all we want to do is to snap you out of it, all right?"

"You have no right to say anything, murderer!" Hunter argued.

"MURDERER?" he demanded.

"Yeah! I know you kept trying to hurt Shawn last time, and I'm getting pretty sick of it. Stay away from him, and I won't have to beat you." he replied.

"Now, guys, calm down here." Eve replied.

"Hunter, that is not Shawn! That is a poorly prepared copy of Shawn, not the real person, do you not understand?" Punk exclaimed.

"Hey, I know Shawn when I see him, and this is him!" he argued. "Look, Punk, just stay the hell out of our business, all right? As a matter of fact, all of you stay out of our business. We got better things to do at the moment. Let's go, Shawn." he said, heading off.

"Well, I've given up on him." Punk announced.

"No, Punk, he's a part of our team, and we gotta find a way to snap him out of it!" exclaimed Mickie. "Just give him some time, all right?"

"I brought cookies!" exclaimed Kelly.

Hunter sped back, snatched up the whole plate, and left again.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Hunter: "The nerve of them all! Maybe they can't see it, but Shawn's right here in the flesh! He's as real as real can be, and none of them can tell us what to do. We're D-Generation X, right, buddy?...Wait, WHERE do you want me to scratch you again?"

Punk: "I don't care what the rest of them say, that puppet's a part of the reason why we're losing so much, Hunter's losing his mind, and they may not believe it, but by getting rid of that thing, I'll be doing Hunter a huge favor. I'll do what I gotta do to get my team back on the winning track, and the first thing I'm gonna do is to get rid of that sock-puppet, thing, even if it kills me."

-Back Outside-

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge...

"WEEEEEEEEE!" Edge exclaimed, happily spinning around and around in a chair. "This place is MINE again! I missed you, revolving chair! I missed you, HD TV! I missed you, butt imprint!"

Everyone else looked at him.

"Mind your own business, I'm bonding here!" Edge replied.

Meanwhile, Matt and Jeff were getting massages, while Maria and Lita were getting facial treatments, with cucumber slices over their eyes.

"It is so nice to be back in here again." Lita sighed contently, sipping on a martini.

"Amen to that!" Jeff agreed, toasting his drink with Maria.

"And as much as I love it in here, don't you guys think we've kinda...cheated our way in here?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Jeff.

"Like, when we were in Egypt, we switched your stick prize with my old team's camel and you guys ended up winning, we won that challenge in Japan only cause most of the guys liked it, Edge switched the other team's carriage with a real one in New York, and, you know, we cost the other team a win. Doesn't it sound a little skeevy to you guys?" she asked.

They were all quiet.

"Cheating's what I'm all about!" Edge exclaimed happily.

"She does have a point, though." replied Matt. "But hey, what they don't know won't hurt em."

"Yeah. Let's make a pact to never tell anyone about this, ok?" asked Lita. "We don't want everyone all suspicious over us, if they aren't already."

The five of them stuck their hands in a pact before Edge flung Matt's nose. "HAHA!" he laughed.

"You little bastard! Come here!" Matt cried, tackling him to the ground.

"..Then I guess it's our little secret. But I still wonder what Jericho meant last week when Edge kicked out our prize and he said that we were screwed." announced Jeff.

"He's just trying to scare us. It can't be that bad." replied Lita.

"OW! Don't pull it!" Edge cried from a distance.

"Ok, I really don't want to know what he was talking about." Maria said quickly.

"Nobody does, Ria." Jeff agreed with a chuckle.

"So, guys, I heard about your little encounter by that Japanese ride a few days ago." Lita announced, while Jeff and Maria looked surprised. "Care to tell me the details?"

"Matt told you, huh?" asked Jeff.

"Yup."

"Well, I don't know why he was making such a big deal out of it! Ria and I just went on a ride together for fun, that's all." he replied.

"Yeah, just as friends!" she agreed. "I mean, I'm...still with Punk and he's still with Kelly, so nothing could ever happen between us. Right?"

"Right!" Jeff replied nervously.

"Mmhmm. You two just try and deny it for as long as you want. But you two know that you belong together." Lita smirked, listening to her ipod while Jeff and Maria blushed and looked at one another.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "I do have to admit, that ride was one of the best I've ever been on, and I'm glad it was with Maria. Maybe...she and I do belong together again."

Maria: "I keep thinking about what Lita said and I think she has a good point. Maybe Jeff and I should get back together. After all, I...really haven't stopped loving him."

-Back outside-

* * *

_"Attention, parasites! Please meet me at the front of the plane for your next challenge!"_ Jericho called on the loudspeaker.

When they did...

"All right, Jericho, what's the delio here, I want to get back to my chair!" exclaimed Edge.

"And Shawn and I were in the middle of arguing about something that has absolutely nothing to do with this moment!" exclaimed Hunter.

"Uhh...yeah, no time to chat, time to head to our next destination." he said quickly, while the drop door opened, sending the group heading down until they landed on top of a snowy cliff.

"AAH!" they cried.

Jeff chuckled. "Is it wrong that I seem to enjoy falling 800 feet down to unknown places?" he asked.

"No way, Enigma! That's a part of who you are!" Maria exclaimed with a smile.

"WOOHOO! Snowfight!" Christian exclaimed, throwing a snowball at Randy.

"HEY!" he cried. "Christian, you-"

"Hey, can I join?" asked Edge.

"Side with me, Edge!" exclaimed Christian.

"No, dude, side with me! You know I'm tougher than him!" Randy replied.

"Now, dudes, can't we all just get along-" Edge began before the guys pelted snowballs at one another, but he got caught in the crossfire. "I am now cold." he concluded, covered in snow.

"PARASITES!" Jericho cried loudly.

Silence.

"This isn't playtime, it's challenge time! Now, friends, welcome to the German Alps, our next destination!" he exclaimed. "As you can see, we're in avalanche territory, and I brought you people to this very dangerous spot for a reason."

"You're trying to kill us again?" asked Matt.

"Yes and no." he replied.

*DING DING!*

"AWW!" everyone cried.

"Oh, boy, singing time, my fave!" Jericho exclaimed.

"Kill me now." Randy said dully. "So, Jericho, how do you want us to degrade ourselves this time?"

"You guys pick any song you want, but make sure to sing QUIETLY, or else you'll cause an avalanche and your bodies will probably never be found again by the authorities, so try not to screw yourselves up. So, sing." he explained.

"Ria, what's today's song?" asked Punk.

"Got it covered." she replied, playing "I think I Love You" on her ipod. "It has nothing to do with Germany, though!" she cried happily.

All: "Bom bom bom bom bombom bom bom ba bom bom bom bom bom..."

Eve: "I'm sleeping..."

Maria: "And right in the middle of a good dream..."

Evan: "Like all at once I wake up..."

Mickie: "From something that keeps knocking at my brain.."

Lita: "Before I go insane..."

Punk: "I hold my pillow to my head..."

Jeff: "And spring up in my bed..."

Hunter: "Screaming out the words I dread..."

Kelly: "I think I love you!"

Eve: "I think I love you..."

Matt: "This morning..."

Evan: "I woke up with this feeling..."

Mickie: "I didn't know how to deal with..."

Maria: "And so I just decided to myself..."

Kelly: "I'd hide it to myself..."

Christian: "And never talk about it..."

Edge: "And did not go and shout it..."

Eve: "When you walked into the room, I think I love you!"

Matt: "I think I love you."

Randy: "I think I love you..."

Mickie: "So what am I so afraid of?"

Maria: "I'm afraid that I'm not sure of..."

Punk: "A Love there is no cure for!"

Hunter: "Interluuude."

Christian/Eve: "I think I love you!"

Kelly: "Isn't that what life is made of?"

Lita: "Though it worries me to say..."

Maria: "That I've never felt this way! AAH!"

Jeff: "I don't know what I'm up against."

...

Jeff: "I don't know what it's all about."

...

Jeff: "I got so much to think about."

...

Jeff: "Hey..."

Eve: "I think I love you!"

Matt/Lita: "So what am I so afraid of?"

Hunter: "I'm afraid that I'm not sure of..."

Edge (speaks): "A love, there is no cure for."

Kelly/Mickie: "I think I love you!"

Punk/Maria: "Isn't that what life is made of?"

Mickie: "Though it worries me to say,"

Eve: "That I've never felt this way!"

Maria: "Believe me. You really don't have to worry."

Mickie: "I only wanna make you happy."

Evan: "And if you say, 'hey go away'...I will."

Jeff: "But I think I better still..."

Eve: "I'd better stay around and love you..."

Kelly: "Do you think I have a case?"

Evan: "Let me ask you to your face."

Mickie: "Do you think you love me?"

Christian: "I think I love you!"

Lita: "I think I love you."

Randy (flatly): "I think I love you."

Maria: "I think I love you!"

Matt: "I..think I love you?"

Mickie: "I think I love you!"

Edge (chuckles): "Hey!"

All: "I THINK I LOVE YOU!"

"GUYS! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO KEEP IT QUIET?" Jericho replied before covering his mouth.

*RUMBLE RUMBLE*

"Well, hope the snow doesn't smother you all!" he exclaimed before speeding away.

While the snow headed towards them, Eve cried, "AVALANCHE!"

Everyone screamed once the snow tumbled them down the cliff, and after a few seconds they stopped at the top of a tall mountain.

"Whoa, that was awesome." Jeff announced.

"Oh, good, you worms survived." Jericho replied, joining them once again. "See what happens when you don't follow directions?"

"Haha, nobody likes listening to you, Jerko!" exclaimed Christian.

"Anyway. Now that you're here, here's your first challenge!" he exclaimed, gesturing to piles and piles of meat.

"Meat?" asked Mickie.

"Yum! Wait, is this stuff processed or generic, cause you know I hate that generic crap." announced Hunter.

"I see Mad Cow Disease and Salmonella written all over this crap." Randy announced.

"Gee, thanks for spoiling my appetite, Orton." he replied.

"You're not welcome." he replied, crossing his arms.

"Well, here's what you gotta do. See, here in Germany, sausage is a very common delicacy for the commoners, and to celebrate it, you guys are going to make your own sausages, using those cheap hand-cranked grinders, and then race your sausages down the hill. And uh, if you had an ELECTRIC meat grinder-Team Misfits-you'd have this challenge done in like, 5 seconds flat. Please, place the blame on yourselves, haha!" he laughed evilly.

"EDGE!" his team exclaimed angrily.

"WHAT?" he demanded.

"You got rid of our only good reward, you idiot!" cried Matt.

"Yeah, we could've had this contest if it wasn't for you!" agreed Jeff.

"Don't agree with me, brat." he told him.

"Hey, I can say whatever the hell I damn well please!" he argued.

"Oh, yeah, well I say-" began Matt.

Then, Maria sighed, blew up a paper bag, and popped it.

They whipped around.

"Thank you." she replied.

"Now, guys, can we move here? The other teams are already starting, and we're already losing enough as it is. Let's at least try to make a comeback." Lita explained.

Team Peep Force 3 were hard at work, with Eve shoveling the meat, Christian grinding it, and Randy packing it down into the bag.

"You know, guys, since Team Misfits doesn't have the advantage for once, you think we'll finally have a chance to win?" asked Eve.

"Not really." replied Randy.

"Ok, seriously, Rand. Why do you gotta be such a downer all the time? Aren't you ever happy?" asked Christian.

"Oh, Christian, where have you been?" Randy asked with a smirk. "But to answer, first, this so called 'team' only has 3 freakin members, we lose every challenge, I dislike everyone here, and I probably have no chance at winning this season being on a team with you two. There, you satisfied?"

Shocked, Christian and Eve looked at one another.

"Jeez, Randy." Eve replied. "We're not that bad!"

"No wonder nobody wants to deal with you with an attitude like that. I don't know why Edge likes being friends with you." added Christian.

"Because he respects me, all right? Something that the rest of you can't do." he replied.

"Oh, puh-leeze! You play the poor guy for a fool! You just strike up friendships with people only to use em and toss em out when you're finished with em! Believe me, I know." he said.

"Christian, you know nothing about me!" cried Randy.

"I've watched the first two seasons of this show, and I know your mind games. You're not gonna play me for a fool, I know that." he replied.

"Yeah, me neither!" agreed Eve. "We're too smart to fall victim to you, Randy."

"Oh, really? Then why haven't you figured out why I almost let the two of you get eaten by polar bears a couple of weeks ago?" he asked. "Did I want an alliance, or did I just want you out of my way? You decide."

They were both quiet.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Wow, Randy really is as bad as everyone says he is! Did he just threaten Christian and I? Well, either way, we're really gonna have to watch out for him."

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Team Deadly Bunny were hard at work, too...

Mickie sighed. "This shoveling crap's gonna take forever to do." she announced.

Then, Evan joined her and shared the shovel with her. "Need a little help, Mickie?" he asked.

She blushed. "Sure! Thanks, Evan!" she exclaimed.

"No prob. I don't want someone as pretty as you to get all tired." he replied.

"Aww, stop!" Mickie blushed again.

"Nope. Plus, four hands are better than two." he replied, accidentally flinging the shovel up and tossing a huge wad of meat over Punk and Kelly. "Oops."

"ICK!" cried Kelly. "It's all slimy! I don't want Evil Cow Disease or Salmonlella."

Punk chuckled. "Kel, it's Mad Cow disease and Salmonella."

"Whatever! I don't like it." she replied, going on to grind the meat.

"Haha, oh, Kels." he laughed, then seeing Hunter with the puppet. "Hmm."

"No, Shawn, you can't eat this stuff! They might be right, there might be some kinda disease in that meat...Dude, I'm not scratching you anymore-HEY!" Hunter cried once Punk snatched the puppet out of his hand. He raced towards the meat grinder and was about to drop the puppet inside, before Hunter grabbed Punk and held him over the machine. "Have mercy." Punk said quickly.

"Hunter, please put him down." said Mickie. "It's not worth it."

"Hey, don't hurt him!" cried Kelly, worried.

"Why am I a hostage?" Punk asked.

"If Punk hands Shawn to me, I'll let him go. What's it gonna be, Punk?" Hunter asked threateningly.

After some careful deciding, Punk growled and tossed Hunter the puppet, while Hunter tossed Punk aside. "Good choice. Don't do it again." he replied. "You ok, Shawn?"

"Dude, you ok?" asked Evan.

"Barely." he replied, stunned.

"Oh my God, are you ok, CM?" Kelly asked, coming to his aid.

His vision was blurred, and he ended up seeing about 4 of her. "Wow, you're pretty..." he said, googly eyed while she giggled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "You see? The guy just tried to kill me for that damned puppet! I know this may sound like some kind of weird sci-fi movie, but I think that puppet's taking over his brain. Literally. I gotta find another plan without him knowing about it. Meanwhile, I think I'm starting to fall for Kelly. I'll follow up on this later on."

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Team Misfits were having trouble...

"Hey, guys, I know how to redeem myself!" announced Edge.

They all looked at him.

"I present to you...MEATMAN!" he exclaimed, bringing out a sloppy, handmade man made out of meat.

They were all stunned.

"What...the hell?" asked Jeff.

"MEATMAN!" he repeated. "I had to find some use for all that meat, so I made this."

"Haha, you've got a small wiener compared to ours!" Christian joked, comparing their sausage to his team's.

Edge laughed. "Shut up, dude!" he exclaimed. "So, anyway, guys-guys?"

They looked pissed.

"You mean to tell me all this time, we've been working with scraps, while you've been PLAYING with meat?" demanded Matt.

"Yeah..." he said slowly.

"We're supposed to be making sausage, Edge, not meatmen." Lita replied, crossing her arms.

"Now, give us that thing so we can get back to work!" Maria exclaimed.

"Aww, but look what Meatman can do!" he exclaimed, pushing him down the mountain.

"EDGE!" they all cried again.

"Whoops, he's gone." he said before turning around to find Jeff holding him by the collar and holding a fist two inches from his face. "WHAT?"

"Give me a reason not to kill you right now." he said threateningly.

"You know, beating people up doesn't solve everything." Edge said calmly.

"It solves my problems." Jeff replied.

Back with Team Deadly Bunny...

"Hey, where's the bag we're supposed to use to keep our meat in?" asked Kelly.

"I GOT AN IDEA!" Punk cried, snatching up the puppet again.

"HEY! Did I not just tell you-" began Hunter.

"WAIT!" Punk stopped him. "Trust me, this will be beneficial for our team. We can just use 'Shawny' here to hold all our meat, since we don't have anything else."

"How do you expect that thing to hold all this?" asked Mickie.

"Watch and learn. Crank it up, Kel!" he called.

"Okay!" she exclaimed.

And to everyone's surprise, the puppet was able to hold all of the meat!

"Voila." Punk finished, tying the open end of the puppet closed. "Nobody's hurt."

"Wow, nice fabric." Evan announced.

"Oh, well, as long as Shawn isn't hurt. Shawn, you don't have a tummy ache, do you?" Hunter asked him. "Does that stuff taste good? No Mad Cow disease, right?"

"Oh, (bleep) me." Punk muttered.

"Hey, Jericho, we technically made a sausage, so can we ride this down the hill?" asked Mickie.

"I don't care." he replied, reading a magazine.

"WOOHOO!" exclaimed Kelly. "Let's hop on and ride our way to victory!"

They all hopped on the sausage puppet and slid down the hill, the same time that the Peep Force 3 were headed down with their sausage.

"Aw, crap, we're really in the dumps now. Thanks to Edge." Lita said, watching the other teams go.

"How are we supposed to work with just this?" asked Jeff, looking at the meager amount of meat they had left.

"I got it!" Edge exclaimed, hopping on it until it was flattened.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Matt.

"We use this as a snowboard to get us down. Jericho doesn't care if it's a sausage or not. We just have to use the meat to get ourselves down." he replied with a smirk.

They were all quiet.

"Guys, we might not have a choice." replied Maria.

"Ok, let's go. But if anything bad happens, we all blame Edge as usual." replied Jeff.

So, the three teams raced down the hill, Team Deadly Bunny in the lead, followed by Team Peep Force 5, and Team Misfits in third place.

While they were racing, Eve caught an adult goat and a baby goat in the distance. "Hey look, goats!" she exclaimed.

Then, the baby goat suddenly turned evil and ate the big goat!

Christian and Eve gasped in shock.

Randy chuckled. "Awesome goat." he smiled.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Christian asked, rolling his eyes.

When they went by the baby goat, it leaped onto their sausage and tried to attack Randy, while he held it away from him. "HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I thought you liked him?" Eve asked with a smirk.

It tried to bite him. "Don't start with me." he replied, holding it up until the goat bumped into a tree branch. "Oh, well...GOOD RIDDANCE!"

"Animal abuse, Randy? I'm totally calling PETA on you!" Christian cried, taking out a cell phone.

Meanwhile, Team Deadly Bunny were speeding along, while the puppet ran over sharp rocks and things on the ground.

"Shawn, you all right down there? Don't worry, man, you'll be fine, we're almost to the finish line!" Hunter cried.

Punk growled and held up a blade, and was about to cut the puppet open until Kelly stopped him and said, "No, CM! If you do that, all the meat's gonna come out, and we'll lose!"

"But this puppet needs to die somehow!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Hunter asked, turning around.

Then, they reached the finish line first.

"Oh, good, we won." Punk replied quickly.

Team Peep Force 3 crossed the finish line second...

"Hey, guys, what's going on?" asked Eve.

"AAH!" Randy cried while the goat came back and attacked him.

"Have fun there!" Christian laughed.

Then, Team Misfits arrived third, tumbling down the hill with trails of their 'snowboard' all over the hill.

"OOF-OW!" they cried, sprawled out on the ground.

"Have a nice fall-" began Jericho.

"SHUT UP, JERICHO." the 5 said at the same time.

"Sorry. Anyways, Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah, you get these nice, sturdy helmets for coming in first." he said, handing them some. "Team Peep Force 3, you get these lovely traditional German hats." he said, handing them these furry hats. "And Team Misfits, you get these Swiss hats and one of you gets to wear this lederhosen. Enjoy."

Seeing the embarrassing lederhosen costume, they threw it at Edge.

"Aw, guys, COME ON!" Edge cried. "You really expect me to embarrass myself with this thing?"

"Remember, dude, you brought this onto yourself." Matt replied.

A few minutes later...

"Damn you all." he muttered, wearing the costume.

"So, what are these hats for?" asked Eve. "Are we having some kinda fashion show?"

"Far from it, my friend." Jericho replied. "Oh, Big Show?"

"Oh, God, no. He's not gonna feed us, is he?" demanded Christian.

"No, I will not." he said, offended. "Instead, I'll teach you how to perform traditional German slap dancing."

Silence.

"Heh?" Randy asked, confused.

"Slap dancing! Watch and learn." Show said, jumping around and slapping his legs and arms while spinning around to some German music.

After the music ended, everyone stared at him in shock.

"Heh?" Randy asked again.

"Now, you guys try and do what I did." he replied.

"You couldn't pay me to do that." Jeff announced.

"Yeah, really." agreed Lita.

"Look, I don't want to do this just as much as you guys, but just work with me here!" exclaimed Show.

"Plus, if you refuse to dance, I'll make you sing." Jericho added.

Then, everyone sighed and attempted to dance.

Randy, Matt, Jeff, Edge, Lita, and Punk all halfheartedly tried the moves, while the others were twirling around and not following the same moves at all.

Maria tried a few moves, but missed a step and fell flat on her face. "OW!"

"Hey, you all right?" Jeff asked, helping her up and brushing snow off of her face.

She smiled. "Don't worry, I've taken worse falls than that."

"Well, I was just worried cause I don't want a face as beautiful as yours to get hurt." he replied while she blushed. "Oh, Jeff..." she sighed. Meanwhile, Kelly saw the two and looked jealous again.

Evan did some moves, but turned around and bumped into Mickie, who bumped into Eve, and basically everyone was sent down to the ground.

"God help us all." Show muttered.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "Dude, this dance is SOO hard, I swear! But it was sweet of Jeff to help me like he did. *giggles*"

Kelly: "Ok, maybe Jeff and I really are over by the way he was taking care of her. But you know, maybe it's for the best. Lately, Punk's been getting on my good side, if you know what I mean."

Randy: "I'm not busting my ass to do crap like this! Go ask someone else to be your puppet!"

Edge: "*sigh* Why...me?"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Yeah, uh, Shawn and I don't want to do this anymore." Hunter announced, raising his hand.

"Well, too bad. Now lucky for you worms, not everyone's competing in the second challenge, which is a Dance Dance Revolution rip off contest! Opposing team members will face each other in a dance off on those panels right over there. The point of this is while you're dancing, you must try to take your opponent off of the platform by slapping or kicking them off. Fun, right? You get to beat each other up!"

"Hmm." Lita and Eve thought at the same time.

"So, here's who's gonna be facing off. Let's have...Edge vs. Randy on one platform..." he began.

"DAMN IT!" Randy cried. "I don't wanna do this crap..."

"...Kelly vs. Maria on another..."

Surprised, the two glared towards one another while Kelly smirked.

"Touching. Now, uh, Christian vs. Punk, and finally, Lita vs. Eve." he finished with an evil smile.

"Uh oh." Jeff muttered. "This is gonna get bad."

"Oh, yes, it will." agreed Maria.

Once they all got on their platforms, Eve said, "Fancy seeing you again, Lita."

"Can't wait for me to kick your ass?" she asked.

"You don't scare me, Lita. You just try to act all tough to get attention from Matt, which he does not see." she replied.

"How would you know? Are you on the same team as he is, no? So why don't you check yourself before finding out how wrong you are." she replied back.

"GRR...Can we start this already?" demanded Eve.

"Sure. But here's another thing. Once you dance, you can't stop. If you do, the electrodes in the panels will electrocute you! Have fun, parasites!" Jericho laughed.

"I hate my job." Big Show announced.


	13. Ep 7, pt 2

Once the music started, everyone started dancing.

One one panel, Kelly looked at Maria and she looked back at her.

"So, who's gonna throw the first punch?" asked Kelly.

"Look, Kel, I know that you're mad at me." she replied. "Jeff and I've been spending a lot of time together, but we're on the same team now, so that's what we're going to do. I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry." she snarled, swinging towards her while she ducked. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Afraid of what would happen, she didn't answer.

"I thought so. Thanks to you, he won't even speak to me anymore! The three years that we've spent together, all we've been through, it's all gone!" Kelly cried, swinging towards her again.

"Kelly, you really should be listening to yourself! You and Punk look pretty damned cozy together, too, you know." replied Maria, fighting back while Kelly ducked.

"What, are you jealous? Do you know how I feel now?" she asked, swinging back.

"Actually, no. Punk and I are drifting apart, so if you want to get closer to him, you have my blessing." replied Maria. "It'll give Jeff and I a chance to rekindle the relationship that we once had, but had to end once you two came into the picture."

Kelly grew pissed. "He loved me." she replied, aiming towards Maria, while Maria aimed back and angrily replied,

"It's over, Kelly!"

After that, the two grappled one another and began fighting, until the two slipped back on their opposite ends. "HEEEEELLLPPP!" Maria cried as she fell, until Jeff caught her in his arms. They looked at each other.

"Hi." he smiled at her.

"Hi." she smiled, blushing again.

On another platform, Christian and Punk tried to dance, while trying to get one another off of the platform...

"This is pretty embarrassing, eh, dude?" asked Christian.

"Tell me about it. But my main goal is to get rid of that puppet-AHA!" Punk cried, seeing Hunter carry it. "You're MINE!"

While he saw the puppet, he completely forgot about the contest and hopped towards Hunter and the puppet, while Christian casually kicked him off. "Oops, sorry, dude." he said.

"Ow." he said, falling on the ground, where Kelly landed in his arms.

"Kel?" he asked, surprised.

"Hiya." she blushed, helping him up. "Sorry about that."

"Yeah, no biggie." he chuckled.

"Do I have to get a restraining order against you?" Hunter demanded to Punk.

Punk looked at Hunter, while he looked back at him.

"MINE!" Punk cried, snatching the puppet away from him and running away.

"PUNK! Get back here before I strangle ya!" Hunter exclaimed, chasing him.

"All right, we're down to the finals!" exclaimed Jericho. "This is exciting, eh, Show?"

"Can I get rid of this dumb costume?" he asked.

"No, now get me a mocha-frappacchino." he replied.

Show was about to say something, but shook it off. "Why do I try anymore?" he asked.

Randy faced Edge on one platform, while Lita and Eve faced off on another.

"You look a little tired, Li. Why don't you rest for a moment?" asked Eve.

"Ok, first, you don't call me Li. And second, trying to electrocute me isn't a part of the rules. But hey, who am I to follow rules." she replied.

"Cut the crap, LI. Stop trying to rub in the fact that Matt's on your team and not mine. It won't even work, anyway, because no matter where we may be, I'll keep in contact with Matt, whether you like it or not. Because I genuinely care about him, and deep down inside, I know he feels the same about me, so why don't you save yourself the sorrow and-AAH!" Eve cried, once Lita slapped her.

Shocked, Eve retaliated by slapping her back. "Nice try." she replied. "I'm still standing, but as for you..."

"Try me, BITCH!" Lita cried, kicking her in the stomach, sending Eve flying off towards Matt, knocking them both down.

"OW!" he cried, realizing that one of his teeth was missing. "Aw, crap!"

Jeff smirked and chuckled. "Serves him right for nearly breaking my nose." he told Maria.

"Matt!" Eve cried, worried.

"Now, look what you made me do!" Lita exclaimed, leaping off of the platform and tackling Eve to the ground.

While the girls were on the ground, pulling each other's hair and fighting, Matt stood up and broke them up. "Girls, GIRLS!" he cried. "Enough, all right?"

"But-your tooth!" they cried.

"It's...not a big deal. Just stay away from each other, all right?" he said, heading off. "Somebody get me some salt water."

Before the girls could do anything else, Jeff and Maria led Lita away from Eve.

"This isn't over, LI! You're lucky Matt was there or else things would've gotten worse!" Eve exclaimed, while Christian held her back.

"What a bitch." Lita said, pissed off.

"It's over now, Lita, let's just forget about this." Jeff said calmly.

Distracted by the fight, Randy and Edge looked towards the girls, and seeing that Randy was facing the other way, Edge casually shoved Randy off of the platform, giving him the win!

"OW!" Randy cried. "EDGE!"

"WOOHOO! Sorry, Rand, but the Ultimate Opportunist strikes again!" Edge exclaimed.

"Well, since Edge is the only one left standing, Team Misfits win once again!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WHOOO!" they cheered.

Mostly everyone shot them a look.

They stopped cheering and sped to the plane.

"And as for the rest of you, I'll have to choose on a losing team. Head back to the plane while I make my decision. YO, SHOW, WHERE'S THAT MOCHA-FRAPPACCHINO?"

"_LEAVE ME ALONE, CHRIS!" _he called back.

On the plane...

Everyone was back in the losers section, while Edge popped his head out of the Playas Lounge. "Hey, people, guess what? I get to stay in here and you can't!-WHOA!" he cried once a sausage flew towards him and he quickly slammed the door.

"Nice one, Rand." Christian said, walking away.

"Don't talk to me." he replied, tossing his bag of sausages away.

"I wasn't listening." he called back.

Meanwhile, Punk rushed in the plane, making sure that Hunter wasn't following him.

"Whew. I lost him." Punk exclaimed, still with the puppet.

"Hey." Kelly said, joining him. "Punk, try not to get yourself killed today, dude."

"Hey, Kel." Punk said. "Uh, thanks for looking out for me back there. Say, that fight out there from earlier?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"That was pretty awesome. I mean, I hate seeing you and Ria fight, but at least nobody got hurt. Especially you."

She smiled. "Thanks." she replied.

"Hey, you notice how your hair...glistens in the sunlight? It's like the same kind of glisten that McDonald's fries have." he said, distracted.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "You're such a dork sometimes, I swear." she replied.

"Insult me all you want, Kel, we're both headed for elimination today, so you better be nice to me if it's my last day here." he replied.

"How are you so certain? For all we know, it might be my last day here." she replied. "How would you feel then?"

"I'd probably drink myself into unconsciousness. Pepsi, that is." he replied while she laughed.

"Very funny." she replied. While the two gazed into each other's eyes, they were about to lean in for a kiss before...

"PUNK!" Hunter cried, finding him.

They whipped around. "...(bleep)." he cursed, before speeding off. "Well, this puppet's gonna die sooner or later!"

"You want him first or should I?" asked Hunter.

"And the fun never ends." Kelly chuckled, heading off.

"SHAWN, I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE BAD MAN!" Hunter cried.

Later, during the elimination ceremony, Jericho chose Team Deadly Bunny as the losing team...

"Ok, worms, I chose you as the losing team because I sensed some serious conflict here today, and plus Team Peep Force 3's been on the worst losing streak I've ever seen in my life, so I wanted to spare them the pain. Now, you know what to do, go in the confessional and vote out the person you want!" Jericho exclaimed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Hunter: "Well, Shawn, I did you some justice and got rid of that assaulter for ya. So you owe me one! *stamps*"

Mickie: "Man, I'd hate to do this, cause he's one of my best friends, but you do what you gotta do. *stamps*"

Evan: "I can't believe I couldn't catch her! How is she gonna like me now? *hits head* Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh. *stamps*"

Kelly: "I wish I still had those cookies. *stamps* God, I LOVE this thing! *stamps furiously*"

Punk (who was beaten up): "Hahaha. It ends. The nightmare finally ends. *stamps angrily*"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ok, friends, you've casted your votes and here's the dealio! Mickie, Kelly, Evan, you're safe!" Jericho exclaimed, tossing bags of peanuts at them. "So, Punk, Hunter, one of you stays, and one of you goes. The person leaving today is..."

Kelly looked worried and took Punk's hand, while Hunter growled at Punk, while Punk growled back at him.

"Sorry, Hunter. Today's your day." Jericho announced.

"WHAT?" he demanded. "Look, I know I made 2nd place last season, but I expected to make it a lot farther this season! What the hell, you guys?"

"Look, dude, it's not you, all right?" asked Evan. "It's that puppet!"

"Yeah, we only had to do it to save you!" Mickie. "We're still your friends, Hunter, remember that."

He nodded. "It's cool, Shawn and I understand."

"Well, all's well that ends well!" agreed Kelly, smiling towards Punk while he did the same with her. "But you owe me a new batch of cookies."

"Store bought or baked?" asked Hunter.

"I don't care."

"Good. Store bought, then. Well, see you guys when I see ya!" he exclaimed.

While they all waved and said their goodbyes, he glared at Punk. "Too bad you couldn't get us, Punk. Nice try." he told him.

"That THING needs to DIE!" he exclaimed, about to snatch the puppet away before Hunter smirked and casually stepped out of the plane, his parachute going up.

"PUPPET MUST DIE!" Punk screamed.

"Well, that made my job easier." Jericho smiled. "See ya later, parasites."

"Well, we had fun, right, Shawn?" Hunter asked while he was floating down. "What? Dude, I'm not scratching you anymore!"


	14. Episode 8: The Amazon

Total WWE, World Tour: Winner At A Losing Game

Episode #8

"YO, what's crack-a lackin, parasites? This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another insane episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we journeyed to the lovely German Alps, where we were greeted with a song, along with an avalanche to boot! The parasites' first challenge was to create their own sausages and then race them down a hill. Team Misfits technically could've had this challenge won for them, but instead, Edge, being the moron that he was, threw out their team's meat grinder from the last episode. Oh, well. Team Peep Force 3 were doing fine, but a threatening message from Randy to Christian and Eve made them think twice about their so called 'teammate'. On the Deadly Bunnies' side, Punk was dead set on ridding the world of Hunter's puppet once and for all, but his attempt almost cost Punk HIS life after Hunter nearly sent him in the meat grinder! The Misfits' were having a terrible time with Edge playing with their meat and wasting most of it, but once the other two teams were off, they had no choice but to do some snowboarding down the hill with the little meat they had left. Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah reached the finish line first, followed by Team Peep Force 3, and Team Misfits coming in last, and Edge was punished by his team, by wearing a lovely lederhosen costume. He was not happy about that. Chef Big Show led our contestants in their second challenge, where they were engaged in a traditional slap dancing contest. Christian faced off against Punk, Kelly against Maria, Randy against Edge, and Lita against Eve. Kelly and Maria nearly tore each other apart, Punk was too fixated on destroying Hunter's puppet, and Lita and Eve, well, long story short, there was some words, which led to a slapfest, which led to Eve falling on Matt, which led to Matt's tooth falling out, which finally led to a catfight. Yeah. Randy was distracted by the action, so Edge shoved him off and became the winner for his team, who won for about the 78th time already. I chose Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah for their inability to cooperate, and the team unanimously voted off Hunter on account of his puppet pal Shawn. This week, will Maria and Punk and Jeff and Kelly call it quits and end up switching partners? Will Randy try to scare his team even more? And with their never-ending winning streak on the line, will Team Misfits finally fall apart for once? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Losers Section of the plane, Jeff was headed back to the Playa's lounge before Kelly stopped him. "Uh, Jeff, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked.

"Sure. What's going on?" he asked.

She sighed. "I think it's pretty obvious that you and I are drifting further and further apart every day, don't you think?" she asked.

"Uh..yeah, I guess so." he replied slowly. "Why'd you ask?"

"Well, I'm just gonna go out and say it. You like Maria as more than a friend, don't you?" she asked.

Surprised, he said, "Well, do you like Punk as more than a friend?" he asked back.

"Answer my question first." she said.

"I-I don't know, Kel, all right?" he replied.

"See, Jeff, you can't even tell me the truth! More evidence that proves that you and I just don't work anymore!" she cried.

"Look, are you done here? I gotta get back to my team." he said seriously.

"You mean, you have to get back to Maria." she replied, heading off while he looked at her and headed back to his room.

"Whoa, that was tense. Sorry I kinda listened." replied Mickie. "I just can't believe that this is happening to you guys. After all you've been through."

"I know, Micks." she replied, sitting next to her. "I feel so...angry that I'm losing him, but is it wrong that I'm starting to get feelings for Punk?"

"Well, is Maria upset about you two spending so much time together?" she asked.

"Actually no, she said that if I wanted to get with him, she'd give me her blessing." she replied.

"Wow. She makes it sound like you and Punk are getting married or something!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Are you kidding? He's a total dork sometimes, he and I wouldn't last!" she laughed. "Although, he does have those nice dark pools of chocolate brown eyes. The Hershey kinda chocolate." she said dreamily. "Mmm...I like chocolate."

She laughed, and then turned to Evan, who had his back turned while he was making something. "Hey, Evan, whatcha doing?" she asked.

"Making a surprise for you." he replied. "Almost done."

"Good God...please tell me you're not making a puppet." Punk demanded, joining them.

He looked back at him. "No." he replied.

After a few minutes, he turned around and presented Mickie with a barbed wire created heart. "Just a little something I whipped up for a very special friend of mine." he told her.

She lit up. "Aww! Evan, this is so sweet!" she exclaimed happily, taking it from him...only for the barbs on the wires to cut her hands. "Ow! Owowowowow!"

"Mickie!" he cried. "I'm sorry! You ok?"

"Heh heh. Aside from the bleeding, I'm super." she smiled back.

"I know it's barbed wire, but it was all I could find in the supply closet. I gotta find you something better, and I will." he replied.

"Evan, it's all right. I'm keeping this because it's the thought that counts. Thank you." she replied, giving him a hug.

"No prob." he blushed, before the barbed wire heart got stuck onto his face. "Ow. Why didn't I see that coming?"

On the other side of the room, the others were chatting...

"Hi, Eve." Punk said, joining her.

"Hey. Soo, what's going on 'tween you and Ria? You breaking up or what?" she asked.

"...For the moment, I refuse to answer that. So, how does it feel to be on the worst losing streak ever?" he asked.

Insulted, she looked at him.

"Well, it's true!" he cried.

"For your information, Punky, I am perfectly happy as I am now. Christian, Randy and I are still in the competition, so that says something." replied Eve. "Besides, I'm glad I'm not on the same team as that tramp, Lita, anyway. I don't know what I'd do with that backstabbing, manipulative, redheaded little heifer, who only lives to hurt-" she trailed off.

"Eve, Eve! You PMSing again?" he asked.

"Sorry. Anyway, if you're not going to be with Ria anymore, are you gonna hook up with Kelly instead? You two have been spending an awful lot of time together." she said with a smirk.

He smiled back. "It's possible. You never know just what can happen on this show, after all." he replied. "Soo...you got any creamed corn?"

"No." Eve replied casually.

Meanwhile, Christian was taking a nap while Randy listened to his ipod. After the plane hit a bump, a rat fell on Randy's lap.

"CRAP!" he cried, holding it by its tail. "Heh. Maybe I have a little job for you after all. See that guy right there sleeping? Go and pay him a little visit."

Then, he settled the rat on top of Christian's stomach, while he was still asleep. He felt something moving on him, and slowly opened his eyes to find the rat staring him in the face. "Wh-HAAAAAA!" he cried, leaping up, while the rat flew off. "RABIES!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Randy laughed. "Have a nice nap?"

"Orton, you sick freak!" he cried, pissed off. "I'm gonna go complain in the porta potty!"

He chuckled. "I rule." he muttered before the rat crawled back on him. "WHOA!" he cried, leaping up.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Christian: "So now, Orton thinks he can play immature teenage pranks on me?...That's supposed to be MY job! But don't worry, cause in the end, he's gonna get what's coming to him."

-Back outside-

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge, Team Misfits were relaxing once more...

"So, people, you all oughta thank me for saving our team and getting us back in this paradise, eh?" asked Edge, twirling around in his swivel chair.

Instead of listening to him, Matt kept on checking on his missing tooth, Lita read a magazine, and Jeff and Maria were listening to music together.

"HEY!" he cried. "Did you people not hear me? I SAVED US!"

No reply.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" he shouted, turning back to the HD TV. "Prudes."

"I cannot believe my tooth's missing." Matt announced, looking at himself in the mirror.

Jeff smirked and took out his side of the headphones that he and Maria were sharing. "I dunno, man. I call it an improvement." he said with a chuckle.

He scoffed and glared at him. "Like I'd take fashion advice from someone who dyes their hair unnatural colors and paints their face every blessed day of the week!" he replied.

"Don't be jealous cause I'm beautiful." he joked, while Maria laughed.

"Ooh, you go, Jeff!" she exclaimed.

"I look like I got jumped by a hockey player." Matt muttered.

"Yo, you don't disrespect hockey! That is a Canadian tradition, and-" began Edge.

"Swivel away." he said nonchalantly, turning Edge's chair away.

"Matt, I feel so guilty. If that Eve didn't tick me off so much, I wouldn't have kicked her off onto you, and you wouldn't have lost your tooth." Lita told him. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." he replied. "Just try and stay away from Eve for a while, all right. If you fight her any more, you're only gonna provoke her into plotting more revenge back on you."

"Easier said than done." she replied, crossing her arms.

"I danced our way to victory last week, remember? Huh? Remember the thing?" Edge asked her.

"Nobody likes you." she replied, pushing him away.

"I get no respect." Edge replied.

_"Attention, my loyal parasites, please meet me at the front of the plane for your next challenge! WHOO HOO!" _he exclaimed.

After they all arrived, Randy asked, "So, what crap do we gotta go through-"

Before he could finish his question, Jericho dropped the floor from underneath them, and they went flying down out of the plane.

"God, I LOVE this job!" he exclaimed, leaping out and falling on the pile of contestants. "Thanks for cushioning my fall, worms."

"Wow, I already found a reason to want to punch you out today." Matt announced.

"Well, you won't!" he exclaimed. "Ok, friends, welcome to our next destination, the Amazon River in Peru!"

"Ooh, Exotic!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Yeah, the place may look pretty and exotic-ahem-.." he began, winking towards her.

"Hey." Punk said sternly. "Don't be a perv, dude."

"...but today will be mind grueling, as your challenge will involve you guys hiking along an ancient Peruvian trail, all the way to the ancient landmark, Machu Picchu!" he exclaimed.

"Macho Pikachu?" asked Christian. "Never heard of this place in my life."

"Well, ya do now!" he shouted. "Ok, once you reach Machu Picchu, you'll have to search for the golden treasure, and the team who finds it, gets to fly first class in the Playas Lounge as we fly to the next destination. The losers, as usual, will have to nominate someone for elimination. Now before we begin, I'll read you a list of all the dangerous animals that could be found during your hike-"

Edge groaned loudly. "I'm so tired of hearing his voice!" he cried.

Jericho glared at him before reading. "We have-" he began before he was interrupted again by Edge. "Hey, Jericho, what do I do if something bites me and I get rabies or something?"

He growled and threw them an Epipen. "HERE! Inject yourself with it in the time of trouble, and keep it with someone responsible. Which is not you. Now since you parasites keep interrupting me, you'll just have to watch out for the man eating animals on your own. Now while you're out, watch out for the Tic Tacs, an ancient tribe who's never even seen or heard of humans, ok? Now, I'm done." he replied.

"Tic Tacs." laughed Punk.

"Hey, Jericho, how long is this hike gonna take us, exactly?" asked Evan.

"18 hours." he replied.

"Kill me now." Randy announced.

"But in case of some apparent danger, each team will have a walkie talkie to contact me in case of an emergency. And if it is not an emergency, I will find you and feed you to the birds. So, go away from me." he said.

Before they left, Punk said, "Guys, hold up, I'll be with you in a sec. Uh, Ria, can we chat for a minute?"

Jeff glared towards him while Maria said, "Make it quick, my team has to get going."

"Ria, we'll be over there." Jeff said while she nodded.

"Babe, just tell me why you're not speaking to me anymore." he said.

"Punk, I don't have time for this!" she cried.

"Wait!" he cried, grabbing her hand. "Why, Ria? I know that we're on different teams, but that doesn't mean we have to cut off all contact with one another, do we?"

"I just don't think that you and I are gonna work out anymore, CM. I mean, that spark that we used to have just isn't there anymore, don't you think?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Look, if we're thinking about calling it quits, just tell me. It's because of Jeff, right?" he asked.

"I-I don't know, ok? Now I really have to go, so I'll see you later. And besides, I suggest you give Kelly a try. She'll be good for you." she said before heading back with her team, while he looked thoughtful.

Meanwhile, Eve stopped and glanced at Lita while she glanced at her.

"Hey, guys! Hi, Matt, look, I'm really sorry about your tooth, I-I didn't-" Eve told him.

"Eve, it's all right, it was an accident." he replied.

"Ok. I just care about you, y'know? I hate to see you hurt." she replied.

Lita grew more and more pissed with her. So much that she wasn't thinking when she purposely reached up and kissed Matt right in Eve's view. After she was finished, everyone gasped, Eve looked mortified, and Matt was speechless. Eve reeled inside for a moment, but turned back to join her team.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!"

Lita: "What have I done? I just screwed myself big time!"

-Back inside-

* * *

"Matt-" she began.

"Lita, why the hell did you do that for?" he demanded, rushing off.

Edge whistled, imitated an explosion sound, and then walked off.

She just sighed.

"C'mon, let's just start this challenge so's we can get it over with." Jeff said, leading them off.

"Ok, people, let's choose the left path." announced Eve, who decided to ignore what just happened.

"Uh, Eve, you feeling ok?" asked Christian.

"I've got other priorities in mind, which include our team. So, let's go left." she replied.

"What makes you so sure, princess?" asked Randy. "We're just gonna lose for the thousandth time again."

"Because, Mr. Negativity, Left is Right as Right is Wrong, now let's go!" she exclaimed, leading Christian along.

"Uh...wha?" Randy asked, confused.

"Guys, let's choose the left path too, with Eve's team!" Kelly exclaimed, speeding off behind them.

"Kel, I think that I am the new team leader, and I should decide where we go!" Punk called after her.

"Excuse me?" she cried back.

"DON'T BE CRUEL, KEL! Let's follow her. Guys?" he asked, seeing Mickie and Evan glare at him.

"Leader?" demanded Mickie.

While they went off, Team Misfits were left behind.

"Ok, pretending that didn't just happen, I say we go right." announced Matt.

"We shouldn't." replied Maria. "At least if we were wrong and took the left path, we'd still be with the other teams."

"I'll have to agree with Ria." agreed Jeff.

"Why can't I decide?" demanded Edge. "I saved us!"

"You're an idiot." replied Matt. "We take the right path, cause we've been lucky this far, so I don't think anything else bad can happen to us at this point. Now, follow me."

Jeff rolled his eyes as they all followed him, and Edge silently stuck his tongue out towards him.

"Edge, I saw that, you little bastard." Matt called back.

"No respect." he muttered.

So, for hours, the teams hiked the long and confusing trail. Team Peep Force 3 were the first to reach the zip line, which was strewn over the Amazon river...

"So, what's this thing for?" asked Christian. "Do we get to tie Orton to it and use him as bait for the piranhas?"

"You wish you could." Orton replied.

"No, you guys, it's a zip line, you know, you hang onto the bar and you slide down to the other side." explained Eve.

"Cool, let me-" Christian began before Randy stormed past him and grabbed onto the bar. Before he could leave, Christian and Eve hopped onto his shoulders and held on for dear life while they slid down the line.

"WHOA!" they screamed.

"What the hell are you two doing, groping all over me?" Randy demanded.

Christian and Eve looked at one another. "Ugh." they replied.

Back with Team Misfits, they were still hiking down the trail...

"Matt, are you mad at me?" Lita asked.

He glared at her and then looked ahead.

"Look, I'm sorry I kissed you, all right? It was wrong on my part and I shouldn't have done it." she continued.

"There's nothing more to discuss." he replied.

"You know, I used to have a collection of these things once." Edge announced, twirling the epipen around.

"Dude, don't play around with that thing, we might need it." replied Jeff.

"Yeah, don't tell me what to do." he replied. "Look, when you use it, you're supposed to jab it into your bum. See?" he asked, pulling his pants down and bending over.

Seeing the sight before them, the gang freaked out.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!-Oh, my God!-DUDE!" they cried, running off.

"Relax, it's just a bum!" he called.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Did he really just moon us?"

Maria: "MY EEEEYESSS!"

Lita: *gags*

Matt: "Do you really think I have a comment right now?"

Edge: "It's just a bum! I don't understand why everyone's all freaking out about it. See, look!" *turns around and bends over, but camera shorts out*

-Back outside-

* * *

While they kept walking on, a huge mosquito arrived and picked up Edge! "Oh, my God, help! West nile virus, WEST NILE VIRUS!" he cried, being flown away.

"Let's just leave him." announced Jeff.

"NOOO!" he freaked out.

Lita sighed and picked up a giant rock. "Hold on." she replied, throwing it at the mosquito, letting Edge drop to the ground.

"You saved my life. You still dig me, don't ya?" he asked her.

"You disgrace me." Lita replied, walking off.

"Why can't I get any respect?" he asked.

Meanwhile, Team Deadly Bunny were the next to reach the zip line, but would they all make it across?

"Wow, look at this view!" exclaimed Punk.

"It looks like one really huge toilet." announced Kelly.

They all looked at her.

"It does!" she replied.

"Ok, now if we gotta get across this thing, where's the bar thingy?" asked Punk.

"I don't see it. I guess we'll have to use something else." replied Evan.

"I know!" exclaimed Kelly, using her purse strap to safely slide her across to the other side. "WHEE! Yay! Fashion saves the day once more."

"All right, team leader goes next." Punk replied, using his hands to slide him across. When he did, they immediately felt like they were on fire. "AAAHH! ROPE BURN! ROPE BURN-CRAP!" he screamed, letting go and falling in the water.

Mickie and Evan looked in shock.

"HELP!" Punk exclaimed, being held by a squid.

"I didn't know squids lived here." announced Evan.

"KELLY, HELP ME! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A SQUID!" he cried.

"Oh, damn it, Punk." she muttered, leaping into the water to save him by continuously bopping the squid with her purse. "I'm getting my good suede boots all wet because of you!"

"Hey, Mickie?" asked Evan, totally disregarding the situation that Punk was in. "I think I found the perfect gift for you."

"Really? What is it?" she asked.

Then, he handed her a colored feather covered glass bird.

"Aww!" she exclaimed, delighted. "Evan, this is beautiful! How'd you make this?"

"Eh, I just found some feathers hanging around and some glass on the ground and put it all together. I just hope you like it." he replied.

"I love it." she replied, about to kiss him on the cheek before a colorful-feathered bird suddenly chased after her. "AAH!"

"Oh, crap. I guess the feathers came from that bird." Evan said meekly.

"AAH! Evan, help!" she cried, escaping the bird and falling into the river.

"MICKIE!" he cried, using his shirt to slide himself down the zipline, until the shirt caught on fire and he went flying into the water with her. "WHOA-WHOOOAA-*splash!* Oh, damn."

Meanwhile, Team Misfits were walking along, until they saw a group of masked people gathered around a campfire...

"So, Ria, is everything ok? You kinda looked upset when you walked away from Punk, cause if he said anything that hurt you, I'll track him down right now and-" began Jeff.

"Hehe, Jeff, calm down.." she began.

"...bash his face in." he finished.

"It's cool! He didn't say anything that bothered me." she replied.

"Ok. So uh, I know this is kinda harsh to say, but you two aren't really together anymore, are you?" he asked.

She smiled. "Not that I know of." she replied. "I've had a certain Enigma on my mind for quite some time, anyway."

"Well, I've had a certain fashionista on my mind for a while, too." he smiled back.

"Gwenyth Paltrow?" asked Edge.

They all looked at him.

"She's a fashionista!"

"Dude, just stare at the sun until your eyes give out, will ya?" asked Matt.

"Guys, hold on." said Lita. "Aren't those people those Tic Tac guys that Jericho warned us about?"

"Yeah. Well, they look pretty peaceful." Maria said with a smile.

"All we gotta do is sneak past em, and we'll be on our way." replied Matt.

As soon as he turned around, one of the Tic Tacs held a spear two inches from his nose. "Who are you creatures and where have you come from?" he asked.

Without a reply, Matt used Jeff as a shield. "He's the creature around here." he replied.

He glared back at him and shoved Matt back in front of him, before Matt shoved Jeff in front of him again. Then, Jeff dragged Edge along and used him as a shield. "You're not that scary." he told the Tic Tac.

Silence.

A few minutes later...

"EDGE, YOU MORON!" the team screamed as they all fled from the Tic Tacs as they chased them with their spears.

"Uh, Jericho, we got a little issue here, CAN YOU MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE?" Edge called into his walkie talkie. "Uh oh. No batteries inside this thing!"

"EDGE!" everyone cried.

Meanwhile, Big Show was relaxing in the jacuzzi of the plane, playing Nintendo 64 with the team's batteries.

"Heh heh. Nobody appreciates the quality of the 90s like the Nintendo 64 anymore. Too bad if those guys needed batteries for anything, cause I need em to play Super Mario...Oh, no, LUIGI! Save the Princess Peach, you dumbbutt!" he exclaimed.

Soon after that...

"Well, cheer up, guys! At least we're all together to partake in possibly our group funeral ceremony." Edge announced.

The Tic Tacs had them all tied to a tree.

"Well, Edge isn't the only one at fault here." Jeff said, glaring towards Matt on the other side. "Mr. 'I Don't Think Anything Else Bad Can Happen To Us At This Point.' "

"Why am I being blamed for this, brat?" he demanded.

"You jinxed us!" he argued. "Our team's probably losing right now!"

"Well, what about the walkie talkie?" asked Lita. "We need help from someone."

"I got my gameboy in my pocket and I guess I could...on second thought, I don't wanna." Edge began before Jeff reached over Maria to grab his collar.

"Do you have batteries you're not sharing with us?" he demanded.

"I don't have to share CRAP!" Edge argued.

Then, the Tic Tacs looked towards him and then started setting up a fire roast, implying that Edge was to be the roasted one.

"In my side pocket, find a gameboy." he said quickly.

"Maria, you're the closest, so you should look for the batteries." instructed Matt.

"Why do I gotta look in his...hairbrush, pokemon cards-" she began, searching through his pocket.

"Come again?" Matt asked, confused.

"Folded up playboy magazine?" she asked, taking it out.

He snatched it back. "That is for Edge's eyes and Edge's eyes only!" he cried.

"Hmm...rash ointment?" she demanded. "EWW!"

He snatched it away. "I feel so damn violated right now." he replied.

She reached back in his pocket, only to feel something prick her hand. "Ow!" she cried, taking it out to find the epipen stuck in her hand. "Oh, God..."

"I knew we shouldn't have let him hold that thing!" cried Lita.

"What's gonna happen to me? Am-Am I gonna DIE?" she cried, freaking out.

"Ri-Ria!" Jeff exclaimed, getting her attention. "It's gonna be all right, Red. All I think it's supposed to do is give you an adrenaline rush, you know, you'll feel a little hyper, but it's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, you'd know about something like that, wouldn't you?" Matt asked him.

Jeff shot a look at him. "Anyway, you'll be totally fine." he told Maria with a smile.

"Either that or you're screwed." finished Edge.

Jeff took the epipen out of Maria's hand and threw it at him. "This is all your fault." he replied.

Matt looked in his other pocket and found the gameboy. "Found the gameboy, moron." he told Edge.

"Where's the respect?" he asked.

Meanwhile, Team Deadly Bunny stopped to set up camp for the night...

"This should be good enough. We camp here." announced Punk.

"Near the wild animals waiting to kill us?" asked Mickie.

"Yep. We'll be fine." he replied.

"Who died and made you the leader?" demanded Kelly, wringing out her boots.

"Kelly, somebody needs to whip this team into shape so that we can start winning again. Say, you're not pissed at me for falling in the water and you had to go in to save me and got your boots wet at the same time, are you?" he asked.

"Hmm..maybe!" she snapped, looking for berries for them to eat. "I'm going off to find fruit for us."

"Hey, be nice to me, I fished your precious boots from outta that goddamned polluted water, just to make you happy!" Punk called after her.

"YOU GET NOTHING!" she screamed back.

"Like I said, you two totally sound like a married couple right now." Mickie smiled while Punk shot her a look. "Come again?" he cried.

"Ok, Mickie, I finally found you the perfect gift. One that won't make you bleed and one that won't get you ambushed in any way." announced Evan.

"Sweet, can I see?" she asked.

"Sha-Zam!" he exclaimed, whipping out a leaf-weaved flower. "Simple, yet effective."

"Oh, Evan!" she blushed. "This looks amazing, I-a-WHOA!" she cried once her hand started to swell up.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"Evan...this is poison ivy." she said with a weak smile.

"Grr...STUPID, STUPID STUPID!" he scolded himself, before seeing his hands swell up, too. "Aw."

Meanwhile, Team Peep Force 3 reached the other team then found Jericho first...

"Jericho, awful to see you again." Randy greeted sarcastically.

"Jericho, dude, we're STARVING!" cried Christian. "We've been busting our asses for like, 9 hours straight, we gotta have something to eat before we keel over and die!"

"Hmm!" Jericho lit up.

"DUDE!" he cried.

"Oh, all right. Take these bananas." he replied, tossing them a crate.

"YUM!" exclaimed Eve. "Nanners! Thanks!"

"No prob, besides, that's one of the perks you get for being in first place." he replied.

They paused.

"We-we're in first place?" asked Christian. "US? The lead? Before everyone else? Numero uno?"

"He's lying." replied Randy.

"I wish I were, but I'm not. Now-*walkie talkie vibrates* Yo?" he asked.

Where the Misfits were...

"BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL!" Maria babbled, feeling the effects of the epipen shot.

Where the others were...

"Oh...you guys are in trouble. Boo hoo...Well, cut to commercial, those worms can wait 4 minutes." Jericho replied dully.


	15. Ep 8, pt 2

Meanwhile, where the Misfits were...

"Helpus,IhadtostickmyhandsintoEdge'spantsanditwasallgrosslike,'bleh',and-" Maria said in a rush.

"Look, Jericho, we ran into those Tic Tac guys and they're holding us hostage." Lita said in the walkie talkie.

"Yeah, Maria accidentally stuck herself with the epipen and she's kinda going insane." added Jeff.

"INSANE?" she demanded.

Where the others were...

"WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE, DAMN IT, YEAH!" Christian exclaimed before Eve elbowed him in the gut. "Oh-uh- I mean, I hope they make it out of their ordeal safely...WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!"

"All right, parasites, keep yourselves calm before they kill you." Jericho replied to them.

*DING DING!*

"And what a wonderful time for a song, ain't it?" he asked happily.

Where the Misfits were...

Edge snatched the walkie talkie from Jeff. "Whoa, you're making us SING, when we're facing a life or death situation?" he demanded. "Are you outta your damn mind?"

Where the others were...

"We don't have to sing, do we?" asked Evan.

"Nope, Team Misfits are on a roll today, and this song is all theirs, so SING, WORMIES, HAHA!" Jericho laughed in the walkie talkie.

Where the Misfits were...

"Well, Matt, if this really is the end for us, I want to apologize to you again." Lita told him.

"I need time to think about this. I mean, you used me for revenge, Lita. You used me, right when I really thought we were going to be good friends again." Matt replied as the song 'Broken' by Seether began.

Matt: "I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh, I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away, I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well, I wanna hold you high and steal your pain."

Matt/Lita: "Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."

Jeff: "You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore..."

Maria: "The worst is over now, and we can breathe again, I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away..."

Lita: "There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight, I wanna hold you high and steal your pain."

Matt/Lita/Jeff/Maria: "Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough, cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."

*Instrumental*

Matt/Lita/Jeff/Maria: "Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough, cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away...cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right, when you're gone..."

Matt: "You're gone away, you don't feel me here...anymore..."

* * *

After the song finished, Edge said, "Wow, dudes, that was like...powerful."

"Why didn't you sing?" asked Lita.

"Cause. I'm lonely." he replied, while they all groaned.

"SILENCE, FOOLS!" one of the Tic Tacs shouted.

"You know, these people remind me of some of our ancient ancestors." replied another one. "Like this one here." he said, approaching Lita.

"Move outta my breathing space." she said dully.

"Yes, she is the Girl of Unhappy Words!" he exclaimed. "And this one!"

"LET ME GO, YOU SICK SON OF A-" Maria began frantically.

"The Pretty Girl of Crazy Madness!" exclaimed the Tic Tac member.

"Crazy mad-I'll show you crazy madness once I shove my foot up your-" she cried while Jeff covered her mouth.

"Sorry, she's just not feeling well right now. Please don't kill us." he told them.

"You remind us of the Boy of Rainbows and Werewolves!" exclaimed the Tic Tac member.

"Really?" he smiled. "What, was he a werewolf herder or something?" asked Jeff.

"No, he was EATEN by werewolves." he replied.

Jeff sadly looked down.

"You, you're-uh..." the guy said, seeing Edge digging through his jean pockets. "Ah! Boy Who Plays With Himself!"

"Whoa, what?" he demanded. "I DO NOT! See? Pockets? HERE!"

"Yeah, sure. We all saw you jacking off." one of the guys muttered.

"I DO NOT PLAY WITH MYSELF!" Edge cried.

Where the others were, they heard Edge's comment on the walkie talkie.

They were all silent while Jericho said, "Ok, and I will slowly turn this thing off and pretend that we didn't hear that."

Back with the Misfits...

"And you.." began the guy, approaching Matt.

"Yeah, yeah, just give me a good name, please." he replied.

The Tic Tacs saw his missing tooth and became suddenly ecstatic.

"WOOP!" cried one of them. "WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!" they all joined in.

"I'M SCARED!" Maria screamed.

"What, is this some weird mating call or something?" Matt demanded.

"No! You-you're our Prince! The Prince Pachacutec we've been looking for for centuries!" one of them exclaimed.

They were all silent.

"Observe." another one said, brushing back a stack of leaves to reveal a statue of a prince that looked like Matt and his missing tooth.

"Wow, I guess that does kinda look like me." Matt replied with a small smile.

"Yeah, right." Jeff and Edge muttered.

"All hail our Prince Pachacutec!" they all bowed down.

"Haha. I'm a prince." he smiled, while the others (the boys) glared at him.

"This doesn't mean you're gonna kill the rest of us and save him, are ya?" Edge asked quickly.

Meanwhile, it was getting dark out, and Teams Deadly Bunny and Peep Force 3 were getting ready for some much needed sleep...

Christian was about to drift off to sleep, until he noticed Eve sitting by herself. "Eve?" he called.

"Yeah?"

"You look lonely and that makes me feel bad. Come spend the night over here." he replied.

"You sure, Christian?" she asked. "Won't this kinda look like a...compromising position?"

"Eve, no harm, no foul. We're just friends, and friends look out for one another. You shouldn't be on your own with all the wild animals hiding around here." he replied.

She smiled. "Ok, I'll accept your invitation." she replied, relaxing by him. "Thanks, Christian."

"Who else should I invite to the wedding reception?" Randy asked them with a smirk.

"Look, IED, Eve and I are just friends, so you can keep your weak jokes to yourself. Now go to sleep." Christian replied once he and Eve fell asleep.

"Oh, I'LL be sound asleep. Too bad you two won't be." he replied, putting a few handfuls of insect food by them. "Nighty night."

A few minutes later...

Eve woke up and started giggling.

"Eve," chuckled Christian. "Why are you tickling me?"

"You? Why are you tickling me?" she laughed before they both looked down and caught hoards of ants crawling all over them. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed, leaping up and dancing around.

Randy woke up and laughed. "And the Viper strikes again." he said quietly. Then, he heard heavy breathing from behind him. He slowly turned around to find a couple of gorillas and chimpanzees surrounding him. In retaliation, Randy tossed a banana at one of them, and they cracked their knuckles and approached him before beating the crap outta him. "...(bleep)." Randy cried before being ambushed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "I hate my life."

-Back outside-

* * *

At the Deadly Bunnies' site...

They were sound asleep, until they heard a strange growling sound.

"Hey, guys? You hear that?" asked Punk.

"Sounds like my tummy, but it's not." replied Kelly.

"Let's see what's up." Mickie replied, lighting the campfire again to find 5 jaguars surrounding them.

Silence.

"Well, let's look on the bright side." said Evan.

"WHAT bright side?" demanded Punk.

"THERE ISN'T ONE, OK?" he replied before one of the jaguars blew out the fire and ambushed them next.

Meanwhile, with Team Misfits...

"And here is your missing gold tooth, my Sir." one of the Tic Tacs said, putting a gold tooth in place of Matt's missing one.

"Just as it should be, thank you." he replied, while he was relaxing on a lawn chair while the others were still tied up.

"What makes you so special cause you got a fake new tooth?" demanded Jeff.

"I am royalty, little brat, which makes you and the rest of them lowly peasants. I finally get credit for something and you don't! So, don't be jealous cause I'm beautiful." he scoffed with a smile.

Jeff growled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Someone tell me why I'm related to him."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Tooth, I want the tooth, I WANT the gold tooth, It's SO PRETTYIWANTTEHTOOTH!" Maria cried frantically, reaching out for it, while Jeff shook his head and patted her on the back.

"Ok, now I'm glad I didn't get that shot." Edge announced.

Meanwhile, later around 3:00 am...

"Ok, team, we better get back to looking if we want to keep this first place thing going on." announced Christian. "And Randy?"

"What?" he demanded, scratches and bruises all over him.

"We know it was you who sent the ants all over us. And now, you're gonna get your karma." Eve replied.

"Cause karma's a BEY-ATCH! WOO, let's go, Eve." he replied, while they went off.

Randy growled and followed them before the gorillas and chimpanzees attacked him again. "OOF!"

Later, around 5:00 am, Team Deadly Bunny woke up and was ready to keep hiking...

"Ok, people wake the hell up and let's keep moving." Punk said quickly, running off without checking for the rest of the team.

"Wow, he really doesn't care about us anymore, huh?" asked Mickie.

"Totally." Evan replied, walking off.

Kelly was about to follow them, but then looked up at a tree with sleeping owls on it. "Ooh...this could be a good yoga pose." she said curiously.

Later, Team Peep Force 5 reached Machu Picchu before the others...

"Hello, parasites!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Hi-Jerko!" Christian and Eve greeted.

"Huh." scoffed Randy.

"Well, people, welcome to your destination, Machu Picchu! You're still miles ahead of the others, and I don't know what the hell caused this sudden turn of events, but I'm actually...sort of not in a good way happy for you guys." he replied.

"We'll take it!" exclaimed Eve. "See, Randy? We DO have a chance to shine for once!"

"Eh, I will believe it when it happens. Something'll probably go horribly wrong at the last second and I'll say I told you so. Now what's the deal here, Jericho?" he asked.

"Wow, that-that was dark." he replied.

Before he could reply, Team Deadly Bunny, minus Kelly, reached the destination next.

"WOOHOO!" cheered Punk. "I made it!"

Mickie scoffed loudly. "EXCUSE me?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we made it. Now-" he began.

"Ok, you parasites can't search for anything until you find Kelly. Shame on you worms for leaving that poor, beautiful girl alone where God knows what she'll get herself into." Jericho said sternly.

"When did you suddenly start caring about others?" asked Evan.

"I don't know. Must've been that Cinnabun I had earlier." he replied.

"I'll get her." Punk sighed. "KEL!"

Meanwhile, Team Misfits (minus Matt), couldn't get any sleep, while the epipen practically knocked Maria out. While she slept, she leaned over and over and over...

"Someone oughta help her before she keels over." announced Lita.

"Ria? Ria, wake up." Jeff said quietly, gently shaking her.

"No, no, NO, I WANNA GO HOME! IWANNAGOHOME-" she ranted.

"Maria-MARIA!" Jeff screamed back.

"WHAT?" she screamed back, freaking out.

"Look at me-LOOK AT ME!" he cried.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she shouted back, not knowing who she was anymore. "Who am I? Who are any of you? I'M SO DEPRESSED AND CONFUSED!"

"And stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of the Young and the Hopeless!" Edge exclaimed sarcastically.

"God, I'm getting a headache. Matt, please, can you get these guys to untie us?" Lita asked.

"I really shouldn't, because they might get pissed off and make a sacrifice outta one of you. Then again.." he said with a smile.

"NO." they replied at the same time.

Meanwhile, Punk rushed back to find Kelly hanging upside down with the owls in the tree...

"Kelly!" he cried. "What the hell are you doing up there?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." she smirked.

"What?" he replied.

"You forgot about me and just ran off with the others! I-I thought something good was just about to happen between us." she cried, leaping off and running off to join the others.

"Wait, Kel, it is!" he cried.

In return, she turned around and blew a raspberry at him before running off.

"Ok, now that was just immature." Punk said, shaking his head.

Soon after that, Punk and Kelly returned to their team at Machu Picchu, and now both teams were off searching for the treasure...

"Yo, Jericho, is this it?" Kelly asked, holding up a rock type thing with Punk.

"No." he replied.

"Hmph!" she scoffed, dropping the rock on his foot.

"OW!" Punk cried.

"Hey, Jericho, is this the treasure?" Eve asked, handing Jericho a gold statue.

"Well, Glory be, I never thought I'd say this, but Team Peep Force 3, you've found the treasure, and you've WON!" he exclaimed.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Eve squealed happily while Christian wrapped her in a hug. "MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!" he cried.

"You hear that, Randy, WE WIN, we really WIN!" Eve exclaimed.

It took him a few moments to actually let the truth sink in, and to everyone's shock, a smile grew on his face. He walked over to Eve, shook her hand, and did the same with Christian before patting his back in approval. Randy shook Jericho's hand before looking out at Machu Picchu's view and taking in the bright sunshine.

Everyone else was stunned.

"Oh, oh, my God." Eve stuttered.

"Did Randy just show...good sportsmanship?" Christian replied, just as shocked.

"Yes, I believe so. What a weird day this was." Jericho said, stunned.

"Hey, what's this thing for?" Evan asked, holding up a pillar. Then, the sun's ray shined over it's green top, and the place began shaking!

"EVAN!" Jericho screamed over the quake. "DO YOU KNOW YOU JUST DESTROYED A NATIONAL LANDMARK?"

"YES, I KNOW!" he cried back, mortified.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Eve screamed once they all headed back to the plane.

"We better get the hell outta here before the U.N. finds out about this." Jericho said quickly.

Back with Team Misfits, Chef Big Show was able to find them...

"Ok, ok, squirts, I'm here to rescue ya." he announced before Matt stepped in front of him.

"Whoa, you can't get past this point without bowing down to the Tic Tacs first!" he exclaimed.

Show just looked at him, moved him aside, and sliced open the rope which captured the rest of the team.

"FREEDOM!" Edge cried. "Thanks, Show, I always knew you were a true friend of mine!"

"I was never your friend." he replied.

"Well, forget you, then." he replied, glaring at him.

"What took you so long to find us?" asked Lita.

"Well, Chris told me to tell you that this whole setup was a fake." he replied. "The Tic Tacs are really just a bunch of guys he hired that he found playing poker in the back closet."

"Jericho scares us half to death for his own personal pleasure, well, why am I not surprised anymore?" Jeff asked sarcastically.

"You mean some poker playing slum put this thing in my MOUTH?" Matt demanded, throwing out the tooth. "Which means I'm not royalty after all."

"Oh, boo hoo." Jeff smiled.

"Shut up, brat." he replied grumpily.

"So, anyways, you guys lost big time and you gotta nominate someone for elimination." Show finished.

"Didwewinyeht?" Maria slurred, halfway awake and the drugs wearing off.

They all looked at her.

"Wow, I'm glad I wasn't a part of any of this." replied Show.

In the plane, the Peep Force 3 were celebrating their win in the Playas Lounge...

"Aah, I think I'm so happy right now I'm gonna cry." Eve smiled, while she was getting a pedicure and manicure.

"It's all good, Eve, it's all good." agreed Christian. "And Randy, how's it feel to be proven wrong by us?"

"Well, Christian, I gotta admit, I never thought I'd see the inside of this place, but now, you and Eve? You're all right." he replied, watching the HD TV. "Aw, who am I kidding. I still hate you guys, but you're decent."

"I'll be right back, you guys, there's only 3 of us in here, and I want Maria to join me." Eve said, heading off.

Out in the Losers section, Team Misfits all discussed who'd be leaving...

"If you all want my opinion, I say YOU, YOU, YOU, and YOU!" Edge cried, pointing at all of them.

"Well, now I definitely know who I'm voting for." Matt replied.

Eve went by their table and smiled shyly towards Matt. "Hey, you guys!" she greeted. "Sorry about the loss. And you, LI? You deserve it. Think of me while I'm getting a spa treatment and you're alone with the rats, haha."

As a reply, Lita crushed her soda can, but then looked at Matt who looked back at her.

"I won't do anything about her." she replied defensively. "Yet." she muttered.

"Soo...Maria, Maria!" Eve exclaimed.

"What, what?" she replied, trying to stay awake.

"Now, since you're my BFF, and my team won the challenge, I want you to come stay with us in the Playas Lounge, we can get matching mani's and pedi's!" she exclaimed, taking her hands.

"AAHHH! Eve, you're the bestest friend a girl could ask for! Let's go!" she exclaimed tiredly, while the two ran off.

"Have fun, Ria!" Jeff smiled.

"I'll miss you, Enigma." she smiled back as Eve literally dragged her away.

"You two totally dig each other." Lita smiled, while Jeff kept looking in Maria's direction.

Back in the Playas Lounge, Edge poked his head in. "Please, guys, I love this room so much and I refuse to leave, so please tell me I can partake in this enjoyment with my two best buds?" he asked quickly.

"Sure-Come on in!" Randy and Christian replied. "Dude, he's with ME!"

"Ok, I feel awkward about you guys fighting over me, but I'll join you again hopefully after I'm not eliminated, ok? Don't tell my team about this, ok? See ya!" he said in a rush, slamming the door behind him.

"Wha?" Christian and Randy said, confused.

Later, at the elimination ceremony...

"All right, Team Misfits. It had to happen eventually, and now you get to join me here!" Jericho exclaimed with a smile.

Silence.

"O..ok. So, in order to vote someone off, you go into the porta potty, stamp someone's passport, and bada boom, you're done. So get moving while I get another Cinnabun." he replied.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "This may be one of my only chances to get rid of him. *stamps*"

Lita: "This'll do us all a favor. *stamps*"

Maria: *sleeps* _Jericho: "HEY!"_ "AAH!" *falls, then stamps*

Jeff: "You think you're so damned lucky. *stamps*

Edge: "REVENGE! *laughs* REVENGE!"

-back outside-

* * *

"Ok, worms, you voted and here's the results. One vote went to Edge..."

"HEY!" he cried.

"Yeah, it was me." replied Lita.

"One vote to Jeff..."

"Matt did it." he said casually.

"And three votes go to Matt." he finished.

"WHAT?" he demanded. "Who?"

Edge and Jeff smirked towards him, while Maria was still sound asleep.

"Well, I'm sorry, Matty, but today, NOBODY'S GOIN' HOME AND I LIED!" Jericho exclaimed.

More silence.

"I love fooling with you guys. Matt, you're safe, no need to worry, but please, feel free to argue amongst your teammates, HAHA!" he laughed while he left.

"You lucky, lucky, boy." Edge snarled.

"Yeah, indeed I was lucky. I guess I'm harder to get rid of than you all think. See you around." Matt replied with a smirk, walking off.

More silence.

"...So, who's ready to sleep on the wall again?" asked Jeff.

"Me-I am stoked-not me!" they all exclaimed, heading off.


	16. Episode 9: France

Total WWE, World Tour: Tour De France

Episode #9

"Hello, hello, my masomorphs! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla here, Chris Jericho bringing you another unpredictable episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we all headed to Peru for some fun in the Amazon! After what happened last time, Kelly and Punk seemed to get even closer, acting like an old married couple, while he decided to take out his frustrations on his poor team. Lita did the unthinkable and kissed Matt, right in Eve's view, which only made things worse between the two Team Xtreme members. Teams Deadly Bunny and Peep Force 3 took the left path to Machu Picchu, while Matt decided that Team Misfits should take the right path. Unfortunately for them, that was a costly decision when they ran into the native Tic Tac tribe and were held hostage! But in their moments of terror, it seemed like things between Jeff and Maria were getting hotter! Meanwhile, Team Peep Force 3 were shocked to hear that they were actually in the lead, while Team Deadly Bunny got later ambushed by some jaguars and stuff like that. Team Misfits were desperate to escape, but things only got worse when Maria got stuck with the epipen, giving her an adrenaline rush like you wouldn't believe! After that, the tribe saw Matt and his missing tooth and crowned him as their prince! Meanwhile, Punk neglected Kelly once again, and Team Peep Force 3 achieved a miracle-they found the treasure and were crowned the winners for the first time! At the end, Team Misfits were rescued by Chef Big Show, Matt's role of royalty was cut short, and the team faced their second loss. When it was elimination time, three votes went to Matt, but at the end, I Punk'd them all and nobody went home! This week, will things change between Punk, Kelly, Jeff, and Maria forever? How long can Randy keep up this new attitude? And will Team Misfits' current loss become the start of their downfall? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Section of the plane, Christian, Eve, and Randy were still enjoying themselves...

"Why the hell did that Jericho have to kick Maria out?" demanded Eve. "We were right in the middle of getting mani's and pedi's!"

"Eh, he kicked Edge out, too. I think he's out harassing Chef Big Show for it instead." replied Christian. "Jerko just doesn't want us to have any fun, that's all."

"Well, who else am I gonna finish my manicure with?" she asked.

"How about with a peep like me?" he joked. "I don't have anything better to do."

She chuckled. "Oh, Christian."

"Just chillax, you guys." Randy announced, swinging towards them in his swivel chair. "Chillax and enjoy the flight."

"Dude, I just cannot get over this change in your attitude!" Christian exclaimed, surprised. "First you're all depressed and suicidal or whatever, and the next, you're shaking hands with people and-and you even gave everyone out there some of our snacks as a good deed!"

"Well, Christian, being in this paradise changes you. I'm a new man as long as we keep winning." he replied, slurping a drink. "Plus, this drink is to die for."

"What is it?" asked Eve.

"I dunno. Like some kinda cherry pomegranate grape concentrated stuff. Really good." he replied.

"Well, he have to keep winning so that you stay this way. Maybe in a while we could actually be friends." replied Christian.

"Maybe we can, dude. Maybe we can." he replied, patting him on the shoulder.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Christian: "Ok, the guy seriously WANTS to be my friend? Don't tell anyone, but I'm kinda scared right now. I don't know if I can trust him just yet."

-Back outside-

* * *

In the losers section of the plane...

Matt was on his own, reading a book, when Lita joined him. "Uh, hey, Matt." she greeted.

"Lita." he replied, his eyes still on the book.

"Look, I just wanted to thank you for not voting me off last time, y'know, after...what happened." she said. "That was nice of you."

"It's cool. I had other people I wanted to get rid of anyway. They tried to vote me off last time, but they failed. So if they're gonna be that way, then so be it." he replied.

"Please don't bag the rest of the team. We gotta get along if we want to keep winning again, and especially for Edge cause he's losing it right about now." she replied.

He chuckled. "When does the moron NOT lose it? Anyway, I oughta thank you, too." he replied.

"Me? What for?" she asked.

"Same thing. For not voting me off, either." he replied.

"So, does this means we can start on a clean slate?" she asked. "Be friends?"

He paused for a moment, but then shook her hand. "Deal. But don't expect me to be nice to Edge cause the world will explode before that happens." he replied with a smirk.

Meanwhile...

Kelly was fixing her makeup when Punk joined her. "Uh, hi, Kel." he greeted.

She looked at him.

"So, uh, how's it goin?"

"Punk, I'm not mad at you anymore, so you don't have to act all dorkish." she smirked.

"Oh, thank God. Dorkish?" he asked while she giggled. "So uh, you look really beautiful today. I mean, you always do."

"Thanks. Hey, Punk, can I tell you something?" she asked.

"Shoot."

"Well, yesterday, Jeff and I were talking, and after the last challenge, I think that he and I are over for good." she said, looking down.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I know this hurts you." he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"It does. So, how about you and Maria?"

"Ironically, she and I are pretty much over, too. In fact, she was the one who told me to give you a try and that you'd be good for me." he smiled.

"She said that?"

"Yeah. And I think that she's right. So, what do you think?" he asked.

She smiled back. "I think a little change might do us both some good." she replied. Before they leaned in for a kiss, the plane jerked forward, sending them out of their seats. "WHOA!" they cried.

"What was that?" asked Kelly.

"Oh crap, I think Edge is trying to fly the plane." he replied. "Hide your kids, hide your wife." he muttered.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "Ok, ok. What everyone's been telling me is true. Now that Ria and I are over, I'll miss the hell outta her. But I'll give Kelly a chance. She's got guts, I'll tell you that. I like a lady with some guts."

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile...

An exhausted Maria was hanging out on her own, recovering from her adrenaline rush, where Jeff joined her. "Hey, Ria."

"Oh, hi, Jeff." she smiled. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask if you were feeling all right from the other day. That adrenaline rush finally burned outta you?" he asked.

"Well, I just gotta say that if the adrenaline was the party, then this is definitely the hangover. I am totally burned out." she replied with a sigh. "Did I freak out too much yesterday?"

"Well, your eyes nearly spun to the back of your head, you screamed at me and the whole team and you looked like you were drunk outta your mind." he explained.

She groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Oh, I'm so embarrassed! I made a total doof outta myself out there."

He held her hands in his. "Hey, don't be embarrassed, ok? Point is, you're totally fine now."

"Thanks for being there for me." she smiled. "I mean, not just then, but whenever I was in trouble. You're amazing."

Jeff smiled. "So are you. Ria, despite what was going on between Kelly and Punk, I didn't care anymore. All I can ever think about is you. I miss you, Ria, I miss what we had before they came in the picture." he admitted.

"So you're saying, you regret being with Kelly?" she asked.

"No, I loved being with her, but it just wasn't the same as when I was with you." he replied, leaning closer to her. "I want you back, Maria."

She gazed back at him, smiling. "I want you too, Jeff." she replied, before the two leaned in and shared a kiss. Before things could get more intense, she broke away and said, "Jeff, wait."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I really do want you back, but we can't start anything until we officially break things off with Kelly and Punk. We have to be fair to them, too." she said.

He nodded. "You're right. So uh, let's get back to our team." he replied.

After that, Mickie joined them. "Hey, you guys!"

"Hey, Mickie!"

"Uh, Maria, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked.

"Sure! Be right back." she told Jeff.

After they went off, Evan arrived and looked to make sure that Mickie wasn't looking.

"Hey, Evan." greeted Jeff.

"Hey, Jeff. Mind if I ask you for some advice?" he asked.

"Shoot." he replied.

"Ok, how do you tell someone that you like them?" he asked.

Meanwhile...

"Mickie, are you trying to say that you have a crush on Evan?" asked Maria.

"Yeah, I really do." she blushed. "He's just totally sweet and he's special to me. So, how should I tell him how I feel?"

Meanwhile...

"Dude, just speak to her from the heart and tell Mickie how you really feel about her." replied Jeff. "You'd know if she likes you in return."

Evan/Mickie: "You really think that'd work?"

Jeff/Maria: "You won't know until you try."

"Thanks, Ria, you're the best friend a girl could ask for!" Mickie replied, giving her a hug.

"Thanks for the advice, Jeff. I owe you one." Evan replied.

Jeff raised his fist for a knuckle punch, and while Evan was about to return the punch, he missed and ended up falling flat on his face. "You didn't see that happen." he announced, muffled.

Then, Edge was suddenly thrown out from the cockpit, and cried, "YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT, I'M PISSED AND I WANT TO ANNOY SOMEONE!" before heading back in.

Stunned, Jeff replied, "Ok, I've gotta find a new group to hang out with."

In the cockpit, Edge was annoying Chef Big Show...

"Edge, will you get lost before I have to stop this plane and sit on ya?" he demanded.

"NO! Jericho kicked me out of the first class lounge, I don't get my special chair, and I don't get to hang out with Randy and Christian. So, I'm gonna take all my anger out on you." he replied, pushing a whole bunch of buttons.

"Why ME? Go harass Jericho, he's probably doing nothing but sitting on the toilet, reading his newspaper." Show replied.

"Ick." Edge winced for a moment. "Getting that image out of my head, come on, just let me fly the plane!"

"NO!" he exclaimed, trying to pull him away.

"WOOHOO! LOOP DE LOOP!" Edge exclaimed, causing the plane the do about 10 arial spins in the air.

Everyone else in the plane was feeling the effects, too.

"Whoa, what the hell's going on?" demanded Eve.

"It's Edge trying to kill us all." replied Christian.

Getting queasy, Randy replied, "Ok, I'm trying to stay all mellowed out here, but-aw, HELL!" he cried, turning green and throwing up all over Christian's shoes.

He was silent for a moment, but then quietly began sobbing. "I hate you." he muttered.

Meanwhile, the plane was still being tossed and turned by Edge, before it flew down, bounced off of the water, and roughly landed somewhere.

Silence.

"_Attention, peoples, this wonderful flight's been administered by your oh, so hot pilot, the Edgemeister. Outside we see-_" announced Edge on the intercom. _"Hey, my voice sounds cool on this thing! Babaloo...Babaloooo bobbidi bibide-booboobop Look, I'm a scatman!-"_

"Get over here!" Show snapped, getting up and chasing him around.

While they were running around, Jericho bursted in the room and caught the scene. "...Ok. I don't think I want to know what's going on in here, but number one rule. DON'T touch my special talkie thing. It's designed for my voice and my voice only, are we clear?" he asked Edge.

"Nobody wants to hear your voice." he replied.

"Shut up!" he snapped. "Now, Big Show, what was with the crash landing?"

"I don't know. Why won't you jump off of a cliff?" he asked back.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. _ALL PARASITES, GET YOUR DAMN BUTTS OUTTA THE PLANE, WE GOT CHALLENGES TO DO!" _he shouted before leaving.

"See, nobody wants to hear him!" exclaimed Edge.

After everyone got out of the plane, they gasped to see where they were...

"Ooh, look at the pretty glass pyramid thingy!" exclaimed Eve. "Are we in Egypt again?"

"Nuh uh, parasites! Ok, let me make this quick, since I wasn't really prepared and was pretty much jolted out of the porta potty where I read the most interesting thing about a nun and two cats in the newspaper, and-" he began while everyone stared at him. "Ahem. Ok, we're in Paris, the city where love conquers all and all that mushy junk."

After that, Mickie smiled and blushed towards Evan while he did the same to her.

"Anyway, we're not here for that. Tonight's challenge will involve you people finding pieces of statues that are found all over the Louvre Museum over there." he explained.

"Whoa, that place is HUGE!" cried Christian. "What if we end up getting lost forever in there?"

"Frankly, that'd be probably the greatest day of my life. So, each team will be assigned a statue that Big Show and I made ourselves." he continued, handing out pictures to each team.

"Wow, these look awfully similar to the real things." Matt said, studying them. "Did you guys steal these statues?"

They nervously looked at one another. "Who needs to know?" asked Big Show.

"You do know that's a federal crime, right?" he asked.

"What do you think this is, _COPS_?" asked Jericho. "You can't arrest us, Rainbow Brite's brother! Now Show, go and do that...thing I asked you to do."

"What thing?"

"THE THING!" he shouted.

Again, everyone stared at him, while Maria yawned, and Big Show smiled and jogged away.

"Now the rest of you, into the museum! Let the fun begin!" Jericho announced.

While they walked inside and observed the museum, Jericho said, "And, since this is a museum, you may be distracted by all the artwork here. So as a motivation to get your asses in gear, you're gonna be chased around by these rabid animals."

They gasped once they saw a bear, a skunk, and a bunny rabbit.

"Aww! Look at the wittle bunny wabbit!" Eve exclaimed, about to pet it before it suddenly became demonic and nearly tried to bite off her hand. "AAAHHHHHH!" she screamed, coiling back.

Lita chuckled silently.

"Wait, can I say something before we begin?" asked Randy, who was still sipping on the drink. "I'd just like to say that I apologize for being such a cruel bastard to each and every one of you over the years. Just know that I respect you all, and just stay safe and don't get yourselves harmed by the animals. I care about your safety."

More silence.

Jericho looked confused and opened all three of the cages, while the bear stormed out, the skunk quickly scurried ahead, and the bunny rabbit hopped along. "RUN, WORMS, RUN!"

After lots of escaping...

"Ok, I think we lost that bear." announced Matt. "Now, what are we supposed to be looking for?"

"Isn't that that Venus chick?" asked Lita, who looked at the picture.

"Whoa...she's naked! We get to see a naked chick!" Edge exclaimed excitedly. "Where is it?"

Lita punched him on the nose. "You're a pig." she announced dully.

"Where's that bear at, we can use Edge as his chew toy while we escape." replied Matt.

She chuckled while he replied, "I don't care. I bet I'd make a pretty nice chew toy. I'm Canadian, after all."

While they searched on, Jeff noticed that Maria looked incredibly tired and used most of her energy to keep herself up. As a reply, his hand met hers and she immediately perked up, smiling at him while he smiled back at her.

"Thanks." she whispered.

"You're welcome." he replied.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "FINALLY! She's MINE, WOOHOO!

_Matt: "Are you being happy in there? Because if you are, it's my job to ruin it!"_ Jeff: "Not even YOU can ruin my joy, so HA!"

-Back outside-

* * *

With Team Deadly Bunny...

"Ok, team, we're going to find a statue of this naked guy, and I-" began Punk.

"Uh, I think that's the statue of David." interrupted Evan.

"I do not care about who this David guy is. All I care about is winning this challenge so that we can get this over with and I can get some sleep." he replied. "Now, come on."

"CM, are you being all bossy again?" demanded Kelly.

"I'm not being a boss, I'm just simply leading the pack. Now, MOVE IT, SLACKERS!" he cried.

"Who are you calling a slacker?" she demanded, while Mickie and Evan just watched the argument back and forth.

"Not you, Kels, you're perfect." he replied. "Can we please just go?"

"Hmm." she said, heading off.

"Wait, don't hate me, we're trying to start something great here, aren't we? Mickie, Evan, come along." Punk called, way ahead of them.

"Ok, what was that?" asked Mickie.

"No idea." replied Evan. "Look, Mickie, I have something to tell you."

"Actually, I have something to tell you, too." she agreed.

"You first." he replied.

"Um, I know we've only known each other for a year or two, but I..I kinda..." she began shyly.

"Yeah?"

"I-I SEE A SKUNK!" she cried.

"What?" he asked, whipping around to find the skunk staring straight at them. "Oh, crap."

"COME ON!" she cried, dragging him along before the skunk attacked. It snickered and giggled as it watched them run away.

With Team Peep Force 3...

"...OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP US!" Christian screamed while the three ran away from the rabid bunny rabbit, who innocently hopped after them.

"That demon rabbit's gonna kill us!" cried Eve.

"Now, calm down, you guys." replied Randy. "I got this."

Then, he took a painting of the farmer and his wife with the pitchfork, set it in front of the rabbit, and the rabbit just stood there and watched it.

Silence.

"What good did that do?" asked Christian.

"Easy. The rabbit gets distracted, it won't be hurt, and we'll be able to focus on the task at hand. Now, we have to find this thinking guy. Where do you guys think the pieces are?"

As a reply, Eve stepped up to him and felt his forehead. "Yep, you're not sick." she replied.

He chuckled. "Why would I be sick?" he asked, slurping the drink.

"We're just not used to you being so nice. It's kinda creeping me out." replied Christian. "Hmm. You're so dumb, you think Manual Labor is a Mexican!"

Randy looked at him.

"You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice!" he exclaimed.

No reply.

"All of your ancestors must number in the millions! It's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you!" he cried.

As a reply, Randy laughed. "You're funny, man."

"WHY WON'T YOU INSULT ME BACK?" Christian exclaimed angrily.

"I'm not that kinda guy anymore, dude. Now both of you help me find the statue pieces." he said, walking ahead.

"You ok, Christian?" asked Eve.

"There's something in his drink. It's gotta be that." he replied. "Oh, (BLEEP), the spawn of Satan's back! Run!"

"AAH!" Eve screamed once they escaped the innocently hopping bunny.

With Team Misfits...

"Why the hell do I gotta carry most of the pieces?" demanded Matt.

"Cause! You wanted to take over this team so bad, you deal with the punishment!" exclaimed Edge.

Matt was about to toss one of the pieces at him, before Lita stopped him and took some of his pieces. "Let me help you. Knocking him out might be a nice thought, but it wouldn't do our team any good." she replied.

He half smiled at her. "Thanks." he replied.

She half smiled back.

Edge rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Jeff had his arm wrapped around Maria's waist, while she leaned against him and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Heeeey, Lita, Matt, do I see some smiles between you guys?" asked Maria.

"Maria, don't imply that we're together. We're just restoring our friendship, that's all." replied Matt.

"What he said." she agreed.

"Grrrr..." growled Edge.

"What's wrong with you, moron?" she asked.

"I want love." he muttered. "A certain flame haired love that I once had, once upon a time."

"Forget it, dude, you and I are over, ok?" she demanded.

"Burn." Jeff smirked while Matt chuckled. "For once, I agree. Try your luck somewhere else, dude."

Edge grumbled before he stopped and looked at a painting.

"Hey, guys, wait!" he cried. "Look at this!"

They all ran back to join him.

"This painting reminds me of the time where I got my head stuck in that sock, and I got all freaked out and nearly pissed my pants!" he exclaimed.

The painting was Edvard Munch's '_The Scream._'

After that, they all turned around and walked on, while Lita shoved him against a wall.

"OW! IT'S TRUE!" he cried before feeling something breathing down his neck. "Big Show, please don't breathe on me."

Then, he turned around to find the bear behind him, holding a switchblade and smiling.

"...'Ello Guv'nor!" he exclaimed before speeding off.


	17. Ep 9, pt 2

With Team Deadly Bunny...

"Ok, looks like we've got everything but one piece!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Which is right...over there. Under all those laser beams." announced Punk.

"How are we supposed to get that?" asked Kelly.

Punk said, "Uhh, Evan, go retrieve the piece."

"Why do I gotta-" began Evan.

"Because this is MY team, and I say you're going in. Where's your team spirit?" he asked.

"Not with you." he muttered, carefully dodging the lasers.

"Punk, why'd you have to make him look? I see you're not doing anything special at the moment." replied Mickie.

"Look, Mickie. I know you're concerned about your little boyfriend and all, but everyone's gotta contribute to the team somehow." he replied.

"He's not my-well-yet!" she cried back.

"OW!" Evan cried, tossing the head of the statue to Punk. "Good work, Evan." he told him. "Wasn't that easy?"

He joined them, scarred and his clothes partly burned off by the lasers. "Yeah. Too bad I forgot to bring the easy button." he said dully.

With Team Peep Force 3...

"Wow, Randy! I can't believe you helped us find all our pieces!" exclaimed Eve.

"All in the line of work, Eve." he replied, patting her on the shoulder.

"...These things are rigged with explosives, aren't they?" Christian demanded, dropping them. "Or anthrax? I know you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"No." he said, slurping his drink again. "Why would I want to hurt you guys?"

"Because you HATE us! Randy, you-you're seriously creeping me out with your new attitude! Can't you just say one mean thing to me again? I'll allow it!" he exclaimed.

He began putting the statue together. "Christian, you gotta believe that-"

"BUNNY!" screamed Eve.

Christian jumped back while Randy stepped up and said, "Hey, little dude. It's not cool to scare people like that, ok?" he asked, patting its head.

Confused and scared, the bunny quickly hopped away.

"Later." he waved.

Christian was about to hit Randy over the head with one of the statue pieces before Eve stopped him. "Christian, NO!" she cried.

"I have to stop this nonsense." he replied.

"Just quit it for now. As long as we keep winning, he's gonna be this way." she replied.

"Hmm. Then as much as I'd hate to say it, we gotta begin losing again if we want him back to his normal self." he replied.

Near where they were, Team Misfits arrived to start building their statue...

"Whoa, cool painting." Jeff said, looking at one with different shapes and colors.

"So abstract..." Maria smiled. "I saw something trippy like this one time where I was riding my bike and I crashed into a wall and my head bounced off of the ground."

"Oh my God, were you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, luckily, I landed on a leaf." she smiled while he chuckled. "Same kinda thing happened to me one day. I was riding on my motocross track when there was a twig in the way, my front wheel spazzed out and my head landed in the ground. It was weird, the twig turned out to be a stickbug and I got scared and ran away." he replied while she laughed. "Aww, poor you!"

"Ok, you two totally need to start dating already." Lita smiled.

"We're getting there, trust us." replied Jeff.

"Well, it's such a comfort to know that you two can bond over the simple joys of childhood injuries." Matt muttered before colliding into Punk and his team. "Punk!"

"Dude, look what you did!" exclaimed Punk. "Now our pieces are all mixed up!"

"Well, why didn't you watch where you were going?" demanded Matt.

"Hey, look, I picked up a boob!" Edge exclaimed, holding up one of the statue pieces.

Lita angrily slapped the piece out of his hand and used it to knock him out. "Perv!" she cried.

"Can we all just shut up and find our pieces, please?" asked Mickie.

"Hey, everyone's here." Randy said, feeling a little out of it. "Let's all just...whoa, I feel weird. Kinda...psychedelic."

Then, he started seeing many different colors and heard a warbled *DING DING!* "Wha?"

_"PARASITES, IT'S SINGING TIME! Don't complain, just do it."_ Jericho said over the intercom.

"Singing time?" Randy asked mindlessly as he heard The Beatles' 'I Am The Walrus' playing. Then, he saw everyone in a field, wearing bunny suits, penguin suits, or just something plain weird.

Christian: "I am he as you are he as you are me  
And we are all together…"  
Eve: "See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly  
I'm crying…"

Edge: "Sitting on a cornflake…waiting for the van to come"  
Matt: "Corporation teeshirt, stupid bloody Tuesday  
Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long…"  
Evan: "I am the eggman, (whoo!) they are the eggmen (whoo!)  
I am the walrus! Goo goo goo joob!"

Maria: "Mister City Policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row…"  
Lita: "See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run  
I'm crying, I'm cryiiiiing…"  
Maria: "I'm crying, I'm cryiiiiiiiing!"

Jeff: "Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye…"  
Punk: "Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess  
Boy you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down…"  
Edge: "I am the eggman, (whoo!) they are the eggmen (whoo!)  
I am the walrus! Goo goo goo joob!"

Kelly: "Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun  
If the sun don't come  
You get a tan from standing in the English rain…"  
Christian: "I am the eggman, (whoo!) they are the eggmen (whoo!)  
I am the walrus! Goo goo goo joob, goo goo goo goo joob!"

Lita: "Expert textpert choking smokers  
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?" All: (Ha ha ha! He he he! Ha ha ha!)  
Evan: "See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snied  
I'm crying…"

Mickie: "Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower  
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna  
Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe…"  
Jeff: "I am the eggman, they are the eggmen  
I am the walrus! Goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob!"  
All: "Goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob  
Goo gooooooooooo jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba  
Jooba jooba  
Jooba jooba  
Jooba jooba…" At this point in the song, the gang was all chanting nonsense words, and all approached a terrified Randy, who was convinced that this entire scenario was only a horrible dream or something. Next, Christian whipped out a fish and began to slap Randy senseless with it.

"N—No! Stop! Get away from me!" he cried, trying to escape the fantasy world that he was in. Next, he began seeing warped colors as Christian continued slapping him with the fish. "Randall, wake up…Wake up, Randall…" he summoned.

...

While the song ended, Christian continued slapping Randy with his hand until he was finally awake. "DUDE!" he cried.

"Whoa. What was that?" he asked groggily, waking up to see everyone back to normal.

"What do you mean?" asked Eve.

"That song. All you guys were singing and frolicking around in a field wearing bunny suits." he replied, sitting up.

They both looked at him.

Then, Christian snatched the drink from him and sniffed it. "Hmm. Seems normal." he said. "Hey, Big Show, did you give him this drink on the plane earlier?"

He looked at it. "No, I would've added laxatives to it. I think this stuff's that cherry pomegranate grape stuff with added hallucinogens, though." he replied.

"Added hallucenawhawha?" he asked.

"Hallucinogens, you know, you act all weird, you see crazy things. Basically, Randy got high off of that stuff." he replied, heading off. "Poor guy."

"High? Christian, that explains why he was acting so weird lately!" exclaimed Eve.

"Oh, good, so I'M not the one going insane. C'mon, let's continue building out stat-Damn, they beat us." he replied, seeing their statues already completed.

"Hey, why do all our statues have to be naked?" asked Eve. "It's kinda creepy."

"Nobody knows." Jericho replied, joining them. "Anyway, Teams Deadly Bunny and Misfits were able to finish their statues first, which means that Team Peep Force 3, you lose once again. Feel free to cry if you must."

Eve and Christian were silent and then turned back to find a stoned Randy. "Huh?" he asked blankly.

"Ok, now that that's done-wait, not everyone's here." announced Jericho.

The teams looked around to find Kelly, Maria, Jeff, and Punk all missing.

"Where'd they go?" asked Lita.

"Four of those parasites are GONE, YES!" Jericho cheered.

* * *

In another room in the museum, Kelly wandered around looking at the paintings, when she looked at one that had a couple that looked happy and in love. She looked back to see Jeff and Maria and knew that they were together for sure.

"It looks like Edge being chased by a goat." Maria laughed, pointing at another painting.

"I'm sure he goes through that all the time." Jeff replied.

"Kelly, there you are! C'mon, there's no time for dillydallying, we got a challenge to win." Punk said, joining her, while she was still looking towards Jeff and Maria. "Kel..."

"I know, I remember what we said earlier. It's still hard for me, y'know?" she asked.

He tilted her head so that she looked into his eyes. "Hey, it's hard for me, too. Three years is a long time. But you said yourself that change is a good thing. They've moved on, Kel, and so do we." he said.

She nodded. "You're right." she agreed.

Before he could kiss her, Jeff and Maria turned to find them while they turned around to see them.

"Uh, can we help you?" asked Jeff.

"Uh, can we help YOU?" asked Punk.

"Any reason as to why you're looking over here?" he asked back.

"It's a free country, we can look wherever we want to!" argued Punk.

"Oh, really?"

"YEAH, really!" he cried.

"NYAH!" Maria cried, tossing a random foam ball at Punk, bouncing off his face.

"HEY!" Punk and Kelly cried while Kelly tossed a ball back at Maria. "Hey, don't throw balls at her!" Jeff cried, tossing it back, hitting Kelly. "How rude!" she cried, tossing a ball back at him. After that, Jeff and Maria looked at one another and nodded while Kelly and Punk did the same, and the four of them were in an all out war until Jericho stopped in and found them. "PARASITES!" he cried.

They stopped and looked at him.

"Ok, I don't know what the hell is going on here, but-AAH!" he screamed once he was peddled with balls and fled the scene.

"You know what, Jeff, let's go, who needs them, anyway?" Maria demanded, leading him away, while he glanced at Kelly before joining his best friend.

"They're so immature. Who needs them, anyway, right?" Punk asked Kelly.

As a reply, she just sighed.

Once everyone returned, Jericho said, "Ok, masomorphs. Now, since Team Peep Force 3 lost the last challenge, this next challenge is mostly for them. Randy, Christian, and Eve each have to create their own outfits for a model of their choosing. The model has to walk down the runway, and the outfits will be judged based on style and originality. The outfit who gets the worst score, its creator's automatically eliminated, got it?"

"Well, damn." Christian said.

"Huh?" Randy asked, totally stoned.

"Jericho, have you been watching too much Project Runway?" asked Mickie.

"Yeah, actually it's quite addicting. So, you guys pose for these guys, and they'll select the best model." he instructed.

Each of them made their own poses, while some of them just stood there.

"Edge, my man!" Christian exclaimed. "Wait, what are you posing as?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm a praying mantis!" he exclaimed. "Cool, right?"

"Totally. C'mon, I got an outfit already planned in my head." Christian replied, leading him away.

"Ria, you'd be the perfect model! C'mon!" Eve exclaimed, dragging her along, while she was still frozen in her pose.

Randy, who was still confused, looked around until he chose..."Uh...you." he replied, taking Matt along.

"Why?" he asked dully.

Later...

Jericho, Mickie, and Lita were the judges, and the show was about to begin!

"Ok, masomorphs, it's time for the TWWT Fashion Show!" exclaimed Jericho. "First up, Christian!"

Then, Christian stood alongside the runway, while Edge, dressed in a praying mantis costume pranced onstage. "I'm so damn hot." he announced.

"Mickie?" asked Jericho.

"I like it!" she exclaimed. "I say yes."

Christian smiled.

"Lita?"

"I'm only doing this to save Christian. Yes." she replied.

He smiled even harder.

"And I say...no, just because." Jericho smiled. "But it doesn't matter. Two yes's means you're safe."

"WOO HOO!" he cheered.

"Ok, Eve, you're next!" he announced.

She stood alongside the runway, while Maria strutted the stage wearing a feathery blue boa, with her hair in an updo, and a sparkly outfit to boot.

"YES!" cheered Jericho. "Girls?"

"I like it!" Mickie repeated.

"Ok, nothing against you, Maria, but I give Eve a big, fat, NO." Lita replied.

"Oh, who asked you, you-" Eve began before Christian held her back.

"Ok, two yes's, Eve's safe. And last but not least, Randy?" asked Jericho.

He poked his head from the entrance. "Uh, I don't uh, think I should..." he began before Matt shoved past him and walked down the runway, wearing an outfit that was so bright, everyone had to shield their eyes before they went blind!

"GOOD GOD!" Jericho exclaimed. "I can't see! I CAN'T SEE!"

"I'll have to say no cause I can't see anything either." agreed Mickie.

"Ow. No." Lita said, covering her eyes.

"NONONONONO!" Jericho exclaimed.

Matt ripped off the outfit and told Randy, "Looks like you just screwed yourself, buddy."

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"Well, he's right, with 3 no's Randy, you're outta here. And since in my opinion Edge's costume scares me to high heaven, and since they completed their statue first, Team Misfits win once again!" exclaimed Jericho. "Wow, this is starting to get old."

"I GET MY CHAIR BACK!" Edge exclaimed, running away. "I LOVE THIS DAY!"

Later that day, everyone was back on the plane...

"Mickie!" Evan exclaimed, joining her.

"Hey!" she greeted. "What's up?"

"Well first thing, instead of all those homemade gifts that almost got you killed failed, I stopped at the gift shop real quick to get you something." he replied, handing her a box.

"Aww, Evan, you didn't have to!" she exclaimed, opening the box to find a Tiger's eye colored bracelet. "Whoa, this is beautiful! Thank you, I love it!" she exclaimed, giving him a hug.

"No prob. Now earlier, uh, you were about to say something before..." he began.

"Yeah." she agreed. "Evan, as much as I love how sweet it is when you give me all these gifts, I just wanted you to know that you're more important to me than any gift you could give me."

"Really?" he asked, blushing.

"Yeah. So, what I was trying to say earlier was that-" before she could finish, the skunk crawled back on the plane. "...that-AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed.

"Aw, DAMN!" Evan cried before seeing the skunk raise its tail towards him. "NOnononono, Mickie, RUN!" he cried, leading her away while the skunk laughed again.

* * *

Outside, Kelly was strolling around, enjoying the sights, where Jeff met up with her. "Uh, hi, Kel." he greeted.

"Hi, Jeff." she smiled a little. "Wild fight back there, huh?"

"Totally. So uh, you and Punk look really good together." he said. "You look happy."

"I am pretty happy. I mean, not that I wasn't happy with you, but we were talking earlier and we agreed that a little change is a good thing." she said.

"That's true."

"And since you and Ria are pretty much inseparable, um, I think it's best if you and I...broke up for good this time." she said shakily.

He nodded. "It is for the best. But Kelly, I'll never forget you and all the times that we had. I'll always love you as a friend." he said, brushing a strand of her hair away while a tear ran down her face. "I'll always love you as a friend, too. And I don't regret any of what we've been through. So um, I guess this is goodbye, Jeff."

A tear ran down his face. "Goodbye, Kelly." he whispered, wrapping her in a hug. "Make sure Punk's good to you, ok?"

"And you make sure that Maria makes you happy." she replied while they broke away. "Now, go and get to her."

He smiled. "I will." he said, heading off.

Meanwhile, Punk and Maria were discussing things, too...

"...So, yes, Punk, it's best if we broke up. I mean, you really like Kelly and I really like Jeff. I miss him." Maria told him.

"I understand. Well, we've been through one helluva roller coaster together, huh?" he asked.

"Totally." she smiled. "You'll always be in my heart, Punky. I love you."

"I love you, too." he replied, wrapping her in a hug. "And Jeff better treat you right or else you'll be hearing from me again."

"Same goes for Kelly." she replied with a laugh. "Well, see ya later."

"Yeah, see ya." he agreed as they headed off in different directions. Soon after that, Maria rushed to find Jeff, until she saw him in a garden. She smiled brightly as he smiled back, before she ran towards him and he wrapped his arms around her while she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Jeff, I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too, Maria." he replied before the two sealed it with an extremely passionate kiss. Meanwhile, Kelly was headed back in the plane, where Punk suddenly whipped her around, pushed her against the wall, and passionately kissed her, while she wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. The two stumbled into the confessional, tossing Edge out on the floor while he looked surprised and confused. "Well, that was rude." he said.

Later, during the elimination ceremony...

"Well, Randy, it's time to say goodbye once again. Any last words?" Jericho asked with an evil smile.

He was still stoned, until..."Last words..yeah, hey, WAIT A MINUTE!" he exclaimed, getting his temper back. "You two caused this team to lose again, didn't you?"

Christian and Eve smiled at one another before turning back to him. "He's ba-ack!" they exclaimed.

"You two got me eliminated!" he cried, storming up to them. "I'm gonna PULVERIZE-"

"Actually, I was the one who eliminated you. BYE!" Jericho cried happily, kicking him out of the plane and tossing him a parachute. "Uh, better put that thing on before it's too late!"

"WOO HOO!" Christian cheered. "I didn't even have to vote him off this time!"

"And then there were 2." concluded Jericho. "How will these two last as the only ones left of the team? Hell, I doubt they will!"

"HEY!" they cried in the background.

"Later, TV Land! Jericho, out!" he exclaimed.


	18. Episode 10: The Newfoundland

Total WWE, World Tour: Rock the Casbah

Episode #10

"Yo, what's the dizzles, my shizzles? Whoa, never saying that again. Anyways, this is the codebreaker, Chris Jericho here with another dramatic episode of TWWT coming right up! Last week, we headed to Paris, France, the city of love. Well, here, we ain't havin none of that. All right, maybe a little, as Jeff and Maria were closer and closer to becoming an item once again. Randy, on the other hand, was as chipper as a squirrel on free nut day. Christian and Eve were practically terrified of him! The night's challenge involved our parasites searching around the Louvre Museum for pieces of their assigned statues, and putting them together, while their 'motivators' kept them in check. Team Misfits were held at a setback once Edge was annoying them to no end, and Team Deadly Bunny were at a standstill once Punk became the bossy dictator while Kelly was fed up with his ignorance. Evan and Mickie tried to share a sweet moment, until Mr. Skunky ruined the mood. At the end, Team Misfits and Team Deadly Bunny were able to complete their statues first, while Randy was still going delusional. The second challenge involved Christian, Eve, and Randy to each pick a model for a fashion show, where the best costume would prevent its creator from elimination. Christian and Edge and Eve and Maria scored well with the judges, but Randy and Matt, not so much, and at the elimination ceremony, Orton finally became his evil self again, right before he was kicked out of the plane next. This week, will things between Kelly and Punk go downhill just as they got together? Will things between Mickie and Evan go uphill? And will Christian and Eve overcome the odds of today's challenges with only two people? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playas Lounge of the plane...

"WHEEEE!" Edge cheered, spinning around and around in his swivel chair. "So, I guess you guys better thank me for winning for us again, eh? EH?"

"We could, but we don't want to." Matt replied with a smirk, nonchalantly tipping him over.

"OOF!" he cried. "Ooh, shag carpeting. So soft."

"Wow, dude, you're in an awfully good mood." announced Lita. "What's up?"

"Just the fact that although you people tried to vote me off the other day, I'm still standing. Just goes to show how special I really am." he replied.

"Dude, you need to calm down, that was like, two days ago." she replied.

"I don't care, I'll still never forget how my own team nearly sabotaged me. Now, Jeff, on the other hand, should've gotten the sabotage instead of me. Why do I always get the bad end of the deal and not him? HUH? Why me?" he cried.

"You really have to lay off this, man." she replied, shaking her head. "Here, drink this new fruity energy drink. It'll boost up your esteem."

He took it. "Did Big Show prepare this?" he asked.

"Beats me." she replied.

He took a sip and said, "Hey, this ain't half bad!"

"It really isn't!" agreed Lita.

"Oh, are you guys drinking that new energy drink?" Edge asked, getting up.

"Yep."

"Well, I wouldn't do that. Show prepared one for Jericho and his tongue turned furry and he broke out in hives." he announced, while Matt and Lita stopped drinking, stunned. "I know. I spied on them."

After that, they tossed their drinks at him, and sped towards the confessional to throw up. "WE BLAME YOU, EDGE!" cried Matt.

"What else is new?" he asked, twirling around in his chair.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Maria were comfortably sitting together, where her head rested on his shoulder while she slept, and they were listening to music together. Jeff turned to look at her and smiled, kissing the top of her head when he whispered, "I'm so glad to have you back with me, Ria."

After that, he remembered a time back in season 2 where he had to rescue her...

_Flashback..._

_"HEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!" she screamed._

_"Maria!" called Kelly and Melina._

_"She's gonna crash into that trailer if we don't do something!" exclaimed Melina._

_"I got her!" called Jeff._

_He rolled down the hill as fast as he could, and before Maria crashed, he saved her just in time!_

_"You all right, Maria?" he asked._

_"I-I think so. Thanks." she said gratefully._

_"No problem. Who did this to you?" he asked. _

_"Michelle! She stole my equipment and shoved me down!" she exclaimed._

_"Don't worry. Melina, Kelly, and I'll take care of you." he replied._

_Back to today..._

Jeff continued smiling at the thought, but his thoughts were interrupted when Maria was mumbling, "Mmm...of course I'd like another muffin, flying mint bunny!"

"Ok, we gotta lay you off the skittles." Jeff chuckled. "Uh, Edge, whatcha doing over there?"

He drunk the rest of Lita and Matt's drinks and was petting his now furry tongue. "It's sooo soft!" he cried happily.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Ok, I am so happy that my best buds Jeff and Maria FINALLY hooked up! I knew she'd be more perfect for him than Kelly ever was. I still don't know what Jeff ever saw in her, but whatever. Anyways, I have a plan for our team regarding Christian and *scoffs* Eve's team. You'll see what I mean in a sec."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Hmm. Hey, Edge, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked, returning with Matt.

"Well, well. Look who DOES dig me after all!" he exclaimed with a smirk.

"Not even on your life, dude. Now listen. You know how Eve and Christian are the only two left on their team?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, how about we make an alliance with Christian? Y'know, more people on our team, plus that Eve can be left alone in the dust." she replied.

"Interesting. So, why are you telling me?" he asked.

"Christian's your best friend, and getting him in our alliance guarantees that you get to hang out with him all the time! Get it, moron?" she asked.

He smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, that'd RULE! Ok, I'm gonna sneak on the other teams and make sure that they aren't planning on doing the same thing. WOOHOO!" he cheered, climbing up an air vent.

"Maybe he'll get stuck in there." Matt chuckled.

In the Losers section, Christian and Eve were sitting on one side of the plane, while the Deadly Bunnies were on the other side...

"Well, Eve, now it's just you and me." announced Christian. "How about a toast for finally getting rid of Orton?"

"Sure, but what do we toast with?" she asked.

"Uh...here, take this juicy juice box." he replied, handing one to her. "To getting rid of Orton, and keeping the spirit of the Peep Force 2 alive and kicking, and some other junk like that."

She giggled. "Here, here!" she exclaimed, toasting with him. "So what if there's only two of us? We've made it this far without being eliminated, there's no stopping us now!"

Meanwhile...

"Mickie, Evan, Kelly I have a plan in mind!" Punk announced thoughtfully.

"Oh, God, no." Mickie muttered.

"Now Mickie, give him a chance. What's up, Punky?" asked Kelly.

"Ok, see those two over there?" he continued, pointing to Eve and Christian.

Seeing how obvious he was pointing right at them, Christian shot him a look and jokingly gave him the finger, smirking. "Yeah, mind your own biz, ok?" he called.

"...Anyhoo. There's gotta be a way to get one of them in an alliance with us! That way, there'd be 6 of us and 5 of the other team, and we'd finally be the winners for once, you know?"

"I-" began Evan.

"Yeah, you DO know! And I say that's exactly what we're gonna do!" exclaimed Punk. "Any objections?"

"Well, I was thinking-" began Mickie.

"No, great, then we're using my plan." he interrupted.

Silence.

"He's your boyfriend." Evan told Kelly.

"CHRISTIAN'S MIIIIINE!" Edge cried, falling from the ceiling onto Kelly's lap.

More silence.

"Gross, get your icky Edge germs off of me!" she exclaimed, standing up while he fell to the floor.

"Heh, I don't have germs." he replied.

"Uh, were you spying on our conversation, Edge?" demanded Punk.

"...You can't prove anything, you Pepsi loving kleptomaniac!" he cried, speeding away.

After that, Punk looked stunned while Kelly giggled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Mickie: "I'm getting pretty annoyed with Punk right now. I see that he and Kelly are together now, but he doesn't have to take his dictatorus self out on Evan and I!"

Christian: "Ok, something's totally up here. First, Punk's there pointing fingers at Eve and I, and now Edge says that he wants me! Creepy, yet flattering, though. Anyway, I have a feeling that they're all trying to break Eve and I up, which isn't gonna happen on my watch."

Edge poked his head from the ceiling. "Hey, dude, join with my team and I'll give you uh...some nickels, a wad of chewed up bubblicious gum, and a ripped Dora sticker-WHOA!" He fell and crashed onto Christian, as camera shorted out.

-Back outside-

* * *

_"Attention, parasites, please meet me at the front of the plane for your next challenge!" _Jericho exclaimed on the intercom.

Once they arrived, he said, "Hey guys, I got a surprise for you!"

"Oh boy, is it lip gloss and honeybuns?" asked Maria.

"No, it's a one way ticket outta here! WHOO!" Jericho exclaimed as he pulled a lever, sending the gang catapulting into the ocean outside!

"WHOA!" they cried, splashing into the water.

"Oh, God! I just remembered that I can't swim!" cried Christian. "Oh, wait, yes I can."

Then, Edge joined him and dropped a duck floatie over his head. "This'll keep you safe, dude." he replied.

"This water's freezing!" exclaimed Punk. "Where the hell are we?"

"That's the best part of today. Gang, welcome to the Newfoundland, located in almighty Canada!" exclaimed Jericho, who was on a boat.

"Again?" Matt asked dully.

"WHOO!" Christian and Edge exclaimed, high fiving one another. "CANADA RULES!" they exclaimed before imitating an air guitar: "Da Da Da Da Da Da Da DadadaDA, Da Da Da Da Da Da Da DadadaDADA!"

"...Okay." Jericho replied. "Anyways, today's challenge is gonna involve you masomorphs swimming until you find a set of boats, and then you'll have to race them to shore!"

"That's it?" asked Mickie.

"Sounds easy enough." agreed Evan.

"No way, that's too easy! Just wait until you get to part 2! HAHA! Later, worms." he replied, speeding off.

"Ok, team, follow me, I got another plan!" Punk exclaimed, before catching Kelly swim off somewhere else. "Oh, no, what is she doing? KELLY!"

"Hold on!" she called back. "Eve!" she exclaimed, joining her.

"Oh, hey, Kel!" she exclaimed.

"C'mon, I want you do be on my team!" she exclaimed, pulling her along.

"But, I'm already on a team with Christian." she replied.

Meanwhile...

"Edge, you want me to WHAT?" asked Christian.

"I want you to be on my team!" he exclaimed.

"Dude, you know I'm already on a team with Eve." he replied. "I can't just leave her alone like that."

"DUDE, this is the perfect opportunity to guarantee that you'd be safe from elimination!" he argued. "Besides, looks like Eve's given up on your little team anyway."

"It looks like Christian's giving up on your team, anyway!" Kelly told Eve.

The two looked to find the other being dragged to opposite places.

"Christian!" exclaimed Eve.

"Eve!" he cried.

"Never mind him, swim with us!" Kelly exclaimed, dragging her along, while Eve nervously shrugged at him.

"Let us swim, dude." Edge agreed, dragging him away.

"Well, DUDE, where the hell did your team go, anyway?" he asked.

Edge looked to find them swimming way ahead of them. "Well, what else is new? They always leave me behind, now let's go, bro!" he exclaimed.

With Team Misfits...

"Ok, since we finally got rid of Edge, I declare this one of the greatest days of my life! I'm making myself the team leader." Matt replied with a smile, swimming ahead.

"You're not gonna be the leader and boss everyone around, dude." replied Lita.

"Why not, nobody else here seems to object. Right, little brat?" he asked Jeff.

He glared at him and stuck out his tongue. "Pbbt."

"Thought so. How about you, Maria?" he asked.

"I want cookies." she replied.

"Good." he smiled.

"Matt, please! Just keep your ego to yourself and let's concentrate on this challenge. Please?" she asked.

"Yeah. As if you didn't know, Matty, Ria and I are finally together again. So nothing that you could possibly say could ever bring me down." Jeff smirked.

"Well...well...take THIS!" Matt cried, splashing water at him.

"HEY!" Jeff cried, splashing back at him. "That almost got in my eye!"

As the boys continued splashing water at one another, Lita and Maria looked at one another before Maria exclaimed, "WATER PARTY! WHOO!" before splashing water at everyone.

Lita sighed. "Guys, we are supposed to-*gets splashed*-Oh, you guys are totally dead!" she exclaimed, joining in the fight.

Meanwhile...

"WOOHOO! I made it!" Punk exclaimed, crawling into their team's boat first. "COME ON, SNAILS, WE'RE FINALLY IN THE LEAD, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"

Exhausted, Mickie, Evan, Kelly, and Eve tried to swim as fast as they could to catch up to him.

"Cramp, AH! CRAMP!" cried Evan.

"Oh, Hell's Bells." Punk grumbled, whipping out a huge fishing net and reeling the four inside. "Happy now?"

They all glared at him.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" he asked Eve.

"I-" she began.

"Don't you remember the plan?" Kelly asked him. "We get either Eve or Christian in an alliance with us, our team gets stronger, we start winning again, you know?"

"You are so smart, my golden haired little pudding cup." he replied, tapping the tip of her nose.

Meanwhile, the others looked at him.

"What?"

"Golden haired little pudding cup?" asked Eve. "Now really, that's just stupid."

"Is not! It probably took him all night to think of a new pet name for me, and it's the thought that counts." Kelly replied while Punk smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Kel." he agreed, kissing her cheek.

"So, what do you think about it, Kelly?" asked Evan.

"Oh, I hate it." she replied while Punk shot her a look when she quickly smiled and gave him a kiss. "Oh, you know I love you." she replied sweetly.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Kelly: "Well, for the record, I'm really happy that Punk and I are together, he seems totally sweet, yet dorky, so he's...sworky! Now, the only problem I have with him is his bossiness, and if it gets outta hand, I'll have to step in."

Punk: "I DID spend all night coming up with that name!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Soon after that, each team found their boats, and all raced towards the shore...

"HEY, WORMS! GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?" Jericho called from the boat. *DING DING!* "THAT'S RIGHT! SINGING TIME! WOO HOO!"

"Aww, but we're playing!" Maria cried.

"Well, TOO BAD!" Jericho cried. "No singing, you'll be eliminated, now SING!"

"So, what's today's song, babe?" Jeff asked her.

"Let's see. Ooh, here's a fun one!" she said, playing 'Yellow Submarine' on her ipod.

Matt: "In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed to sea..."  
Lita: "And he told us of his life, In the land of submarines…"  
Maria: "So we sailed up to the sun, Till we found a sea of green…"  
Jeff: "And we lived beneath the waves, in our yellow submarine…"  
All: "We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine."  
Christian: "And our friends are all aboard," Eve: "Many more of them live next door," Christian: "And the band begins to play..."  
All: "We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine."  
Edge (speaks): "Full speed ahead Mr. Boatswain, full speed ahead!"  
Christian (speaks): "Full speed ahead it is, Sgt.!"  
Edge (speaks): "Cut the cable, drop the cable!"  
Christian (speaks): "Aye, Sir, aye, Captain, captain!"  
Evan: "As we live a life of ease…"  
Mickie: "Every one of us has all we need…" *winks at him*  
Kelly: "Sky of blue and sea of green…"  
Punk: "In our yellow submarine…"  
All: "We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, Yellow submarine, yellow submarine..."

After the song ended, Edge and Christian's boat reached the shore first.

"WOOHOO!" the two cheered.

"LAND! LAND!" cheered Edge. "Civilization!"

"Da Da Da Da Da Da Da DadadaDA, Da Da Da Da Da Da Da DadadaDADA!" they both imitated again.

"Hey, Edge, you see your team anywhere, dude?" asked Christian.

He looked out. "Slowpokes." he announced.

"Dude, they might be lost somewhere out there." he replied.

"Why should I care? Serves them right for abandoning me, anyway." replied Edge.

Next, Team Deadly Bunny joined them on the shore next.

"Sweet!" Punk cheered. "I made it!"

"YOU?" Kelly yelled at him.

"Hello, company!" greeted Christian.

"Hey, Christian." greeted Eve. "Had a nice ride with Edge?"

"Yeah, we played air guitar, found some insulting names for Jericho, enjoying Canada, great fun." he replied. "How about you?"

"Eh, not so good. Punk's just flat out becoming a total dictator and I'm afraid that their team's gonna fall apart because of him." she replied.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt." he replied. "So, did the team try to drag you into an alliance?"

"Sure did. Did Edge do the same to you?" she asked.

"Yep. I mean, he's my best buddy, but you and I've been a team since the beginning, and I wouldn't feel right leaving you like that." he replied with a half smile.

She blushed. "I wouldn't feel right leaving you on your own, either. So, how about you and I team up again and show all the others that numbers don't mean a damn thing? The Peep Force 2 lives on!" she exclaimed.

He gave her a high five. "Let's go!" he agreed, laughing.

"PARASITES!" Jericho exclaimed, arriving down with a jet pack on his back.

"Holy crap, you got a jet pack?" Punk exclaimed.

"Dude, how much did that cost you? I want one!" exclaimed Edge.

"Well, it cost a nice $500,000, but being the host has its perks, and NO, you can't have one!" he replied. "Now, uh, Edge, since your team mysteriously disappeared and may never be seen again, you have the punishment of cleaning the seafood that Team Deadly Bunny brought in..." he began.

He looked to find a bunch of fish and lobster filling their boat.

"WHAT?" Edge demanded.

"And after that, you gotta shuck all these giant clams for me! Have fun!" Jericho exclaimed.

"You shuck, Jerko." Edge replied.

Christian laughed.

Somewhere, Team Misfits knew that they were lost and had to find a way back to civilization...

"Well, this is exciting." announced Lita.

"Just a minor setback." replied Matt. "I don't even know how we got lost in the first place, cause we were following the other boats."

"Well, we gotta do something." she replied. "Hey, how about that gimungo rock over there?"

"What about it?" he asked.

"Let's climb up and from there we'll see where the hell we are and where the shore is." she explained.

"Ok." he replied, stopping the boat. "You two, don't be all clever and hijack our boat while we're here stranded. Let's go, Lita."

"Who knows, dude, we just might." replied Jeff.

"Wait, you'd leave me stranded here with him?" asked Lita.

"Is that a bad thing?" Matt asked, insulted.

"Of course not, we'll save you, Lita and the three of us'll head off." Jeff replied.

"Brat." Matt scoffed as the two started climbing up the rock.

"My God, Jeff, I've known you and Matt for years and it's never gotten this bad between you two." Maria told him, resting her head on his lap.

"It surprises me how much he likes trying to push me to my limit. But we haven't killed one another yet, so that's good." he replied while she giggled. After that, they gazed at each other before they shared another passionate kiss. "Wow, I missed that." she smiled.

"Me, too." he agreed. "You know, earlier, I remembered the time back in season 2 where I saved you from crashing into that trailer."

"Oh yeah, that heartless witch Michelle pushed me down." she said, shaking her head. "I'm so glad you were the one who saved me, though. Come to think of it, I forgot we were on the same team back then. I totally forgot because I left so early."

"Yeah, I know. We really had a lot of good times back there." he agreed. "You were nice enough to pick me to be on your team first, after all."

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked. "Even if we were apart, you'll always be my best friend, Jeff."

He smiled. "And you'll always be mine. You know, back on Smackdown when Michelle attacked you after that match last year, nobody saw it, but on the inside, I just wanted to go out there and strangle her for hurting you like she did." he said.

"Aww." she smiled. "Why didn't you?"

"Well, one, I'd never put my hands on a woman, even a witch like her..."

She giggled.

"And second, you were with Punk at the time, so I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to." he replied.

"But I'm not with him anymore Jeff, I'm with you. And I say that you can do whatever you want to." she replied with a smile.

"Oh, can I?" he muttered between kisses.

"Mmhmm!" she agreed before they began making out again. "Hehe!"

Back on shore, it was time for the next challenge...

"Ok, parasites, here's your second challenge, which is sort of like a relay race!" exclaimed Jericho. "Follow me inside."

They all entered a small shack which had mostly boat supplies.

"Feels like we're in the Red Lobster." announced Evan.

"I know, right?" agreed Mickie.

"Ok, people, since Team Misfits is still out lost somewhere, we're gonna start without them. The next challenge is a relay race with Team Deadly Bunny versing Team Peep Force 2." Jericho explained, while Team Deadly Bunny sat on one side of the table, and Christian and Eve were on the other side.

"Wait, wait, there's four of them and only two of us!" exclaimed Christian. "That's not fair!"

"Yeah, like I care about fairness." he chuckled.

"Christian, it's ok. Remember, we said that we'd prove that two members on a team would still dominate!" exclaimed Eve.

"Oh, yeah." he agreed. "Ok, what do we have to do?"

"Well, first, one member of the team must gulp down 3 jugs of this lovely apple vinegar." he said, holding up a gallon of the stuff. "After they're done, they must tag the next person, where they have to decipher a statement said by my very own long lost half-brother twice removed, Liam!"

Then, a middle aged guy arrived wearing a raincoat, and said in one breath, "Heygang, you wanna know whatifound inmyunderwear?"

Silence.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed dryly, his voice cracking.

"Dear God." Jericho muttered.

"Wow, your half bro is WAY cooler than you are, Jericho." Edge announced, peeking inside.

"Hey, I'm cool!" he exclaimed. "This is why he was twice removed."

"Nicetoseeyou, Chris, longtimenosee,eh?" he muttered in a heavy Newfoundland accent. "Lookatthisfish, seethefish? Ijustcaughtit thismorning!" he exclaimed, slapping him with it.

"Stop it." he said dully.

"What'd he say?" asked Kelly.

"Nobody ever knew. Dad was always so ashamed of him. Anyway, after the person chugs down the vinegar and tags in the next person, they have to decipher what Liam here says. After that, that person tags in the last person in line, where they must kiss a cod fish, like it was their hot, passionate lover." he replied with a smirk.

"Jericho, you are one sick freak." announced Punk.

"Thanks." he smiled. "Now decide who's doing what and we'll begin!"

"Ok, here's the plan. I'll chug the vinegar, you decipher the sentence, and I'll kiss the fish. Shouldn't be that horrible." announced Christian.

"You have to do more work than I do, though. We figure out the sentence together, ok? Who knows? Maybe we could actually win!" exclaimed Eve.

"Ok, here's the deal." announced Punk.

"No, I'm not listening to you boss us around anymore." interrupted Kelly. "I'll chug down the vinegar, Mickie, Evan, you guys are the smartest, you can figure out Jericho's half brother's sentence, and PHIL, you kiss the fish. Got it?"

"I like Kelly's plan." announced Mickie.

"So do I." agreed Evan. "It's three against one, dude."

He looked at Kelly, shocked. "Fine!" he replied.

"Ok, ready, set, CHUG!" Jericho exclaimed after setting the 6 apple vinegar gallons in front of Kelly and Christian, three for each of them.

Kelly and Christian quickly chugged them down, while Kelly almost gagged, but kept on drinking while Mickie and Evan cheered her on. Christian drunk the vinegar with ease. "Christian, how are you not puking right now, I mean it's vinegar!" exclaimed Eve.

He paused. "I'm Canadian. Totally used to this stuff." he replied before moving onto the second gallon. While he was moving onto the third gallon, Kelly was still on her second.

"Hurry up, Kellbell. This was all your genius plan, wasn't it?" Punk asked her.

She glared at him before quickly beginning her third gallon. Then, Christian tagged Eve in, while Kelly tagged in Mickie and Evan.

"Iwishtheydidn'tsellthecat, ilovedthatcat, igottoshaveit andeverything, itwasamazing! Ilovecheeseandfish." Liam announced.

"I knew there was a reason we locked you in the closet, Liam." Jericho announced, crossing his arms.

"What the hell did he say?" asked Mickie. "I heard something about cheese and a cat and fish."

"Me, too." agreed Evan. "Uh, did he say that he shucked a cat or something?"

"No, I think it was something about selling a cat." replied Eve.

Christian smiled. "Easy! He said that he wished that they didn't sell the cat, he loved the cat and got to shave it and everything, it was amazing, and he loves cheese and fish." he explained.

"Damn." Jericho said, surprised. "That's correct! You want to keep him?"

"No way." he replied.

"Christian, how'd you know?" asked Eve.

"Eve, I'm Canadian!" he smiled back while Edge popped in and high fived him.

"Keep that Canadian spirit, bro!" he exclaimed. "Join my team."

"Dude."

"Ok, Team Deadly Bunny still hasn't deciphered Liam's sentence yet." announced Jericho. "So the Peeps are currently in the lead."

"Gramgram likedmakingmecookies andfish, youknow, fishcookies, iwasherfavoritechild...flapjacks." he announced.

"Uh...Evan," Mickie said, whispering something to him.

"I think so, too. Did he say that gram gram liked making him cookies and fish, like fish cookies and that he was her favorite child and...flapjacks?" Evan asked. "That was weird."

"Hey, I was gram gram's favorite grandchild!" Jericho argued. "She didn't even like you, you were a disgrace!"

"Gramslovedme." he replied.

"She sicked her cats on you!" he exclaimed.

"HAHA...!" Liam laughed that dry, crusty laugh again.

Back in the middle of nowhere...

"Matt, it doesn't take 25 minutes to find land. Where the hell are we?" demanded Lita.

He took out a telescope and searched around until he found a small shack in the distance. "AHA!" he cried, accidentally bumping into Lita, and the two fell off of the rock and into the boat, causing the boat to flip over and the four teammates ended up in the water.

*SPLASH!*

"Dude!" cried Jeff.

"Hey look, a clam!" Maria exclaimed, picking one up. "How cute!"

"Land's that way." Matt announced, climbing into the boat. "Let's go."

"We probably already lost, anyway." announced Lita. "Now I'm beginning to think it was smart for Edge to go off on his own."

"Who needs him around annoying the place?" asked Matt, while they sailed off. "With him gone, this is the best I've felt in months!"

Back at the shack...

Evan tagged Punk in and Eve tagged Christian in for the final part of the relay race.

"Ok, Punk, Christian, ready to give these cod fish some suga'?" Jericho asked with a smirk.

Punk just looked at the fish while Christian shrugged.

"GO!" he cried.

Punk held up the fish and saw it looking back at him. "Don't you think about enjoying this because I sure as hell won't."

"Hey, you're looking, uh...scaly." Christian told his fish.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" chanted Eve.

"KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS!" they all joined in.

Trying to make the situation easier, Punk imagined that Kelly was the fish and started kissing it, while Christian imagined that Eve was the fish and started kissing it.

"WHOOOOOO!" they cheered.

"I'mofftoeatsomeone'sparents!" Liam exclaimed.

"Wow, well, I for one never thought you parasites would go through with it. So, I'd like to announce for the first time in Total WWE history, two teams win the challenge! Which means that Team Deadly Bunny, Team Peep Force 2, you BOTH get to ride in the Playa's lounge of the plane!" he exclaimed.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"We did it, Christian! We all did it!" Eve exclaimed, hugging him.

"This turned out to be a great day." he smiled.

"Eve, isn't this great, we can get mani's and pedi's together now!" exclaimed Kelly.

"I know!" she agreed.

"Punk, aren't you psyched?" asked Christian.

He was still stunned. "Is Golden haired little pudding cup such a terrible name?" he asked.

"Sure it is." he agreed.

Then, Team Misfits finally joined them.

"Well, well, well, tardiness is no excuse this time." Edge said with a smirk.

"Shut up, Edge." Matt said, rushing in. "What'd we miss?"

"Mycatatearatonetime, itwastotallyawesome..." Liam announced, well, slurred.

Silence.

"On second thought, never mind." replied Matt.

"Well, nice joining us, guys, and you'll love hearing this. Both of these teams here won the second challenge, so they're finally taking your place in the playas lounge." announced Jericho.

They groaned.

"And since we're in good ol Canada, I don't feel like eliminating anyone, so instead, I'm rewarding these two teams with a seafood dinner!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WOOHOO!" they cheered, while the others looked miserable.

"And for your punishment, you must help Edge by shucking the clams and cleaning the rest of the seafood." he continued.

"Wow, I hate this day." announced Jeff.

"What do we get to eat?" asked Maria.

"Here." Jericho said, tossing them some sandwiches.

"Spam sandwiches?" asked Edge, flinching. "Could've at least given us some frozen fish sticks to heat up or something."

"Yeah..." he smiled. "Well, get to work while we're celebrating."

Then, he slammed the door in their faces, leaving them in silence.

"Well, get to work, guys." Edge announced, relaxing.

"Why the hell aren't you doing anything?" demanded Lita.

"Woman, I've been here WAY before you have, so I'm not the guilty one here, am I?" he asked.

Matt groaned loudly. "Aw, my headache's coming back." he complained.

"I know how to settle this." Jeff replied with a smirk. "This might make all of us feel better."

Then, they all got the same idea and tossed the clam shells and fish all over Edge. "HEY!" he cried.

They laughed, while Matt and Lita high fived one another and Jeff and Maria shared a celebratory kiss.


	19. Episode 11: Jamaica

Total WWE, World Tour: Jamaican Me Crazy!

Episode #11

"Hello, my parasites! Y2J, Chris Jericho here with another intense episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week we headed back to good ol Canada, the Newfoundland! WHOO! The challenge was for each team to swim to their boats, and then meet up to the shore for the next part of their challenge. Jeff and Maria were enjoying life as a couple, and Matt seemed to take the advantage of being the temporary leader of the team. Christian and Eve were the only two left as a team, and both Edge and Kelly decided that it was alliance making time. Edge ditched his team and traveled with Christian, while Kelly dragged Eve along with her team. On the Deadly Bunnies' side, Punk was still being a dictator, and later things between he and Kelly only got weirder when there was name calling involved. As in 'Golden Haired Little Pudding Cup.' Don't ask, I just call em. Edge, Christian, and the rest of the deadly bunnies were able to find their way to the shore, while Team Misfits were nowhere to be found. There, their second challenge was a relay race, where one person had to chug down apple vinegar, then tag their teammate to decipher one of my drunk half brother twice removed, Liam's sentences, and then tag the final person in to kiss a cod fish. Christian and Eve proved to be pretty dominant with only two people, but in the end, both teams were able to complete the challenge, resulting in the first two team tie in Total Action history! Team Misfits arrived a little too late, when they learned about their second loss, the other team's seafood dinner reward, and just how screwed they were. Luckily, nobody was sent home. This week, will the battle for leadership bring Punk and Kelly closer or apart? Who's heading home this week? And what's in Evan and Mickie's future? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playas Lounge in the plane, Teams Peep Force 2 and Team Deadly Bunny were celebrating their win...

"Kel, like my nails?" Eve asked, showing her her blue sparkly nail job.

"Ooh, scrumptious!" Kelly exclaimed. "Look at mine!" she exclaimed, revealing her green sparkly ones.

"Sweet! Say, are you feeling any better?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked back.

"You know, you and Punk. You two've been acting a little weird ever since the last challenge." Eve began.

"Eve, he's trying to take over our team. I swear, I love him, but someone has to stand up to him and I will." she replied.

"Whoo, go, Kel!" she said, high fiving her. "And Eve, I'm really impressed with you and Christian."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been a team of two for this long and haven't gotten eliminated. That's gotta be tough to do." she said.

"It actually isn't! He and I have such great chemistry so it's fun being on a team together. Believe me, without Randy around, it is all good." explained Eve.

"Amen to that." she agreed, toasting her drink with her.

Meanwhile, Punk and Christian had a couple of sodas and were watching something on the HDTV.

"Man, what a party here, eh, man?" asked Christian. "I just wish Edge were here. I feel bad for the others in the losers section."

"Why? They've been winning nonstop and practically owned this paradise. It kinda serves them right for all of us being in here instead." replied Punk.

"Ooh, harsh." he said. "Dude, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, what do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't know, you've been kinda distant from the rest of us since what happened with you and Kelly." he replied. "Anything you want to talk about, man?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Punk said, taking a sip of his Pepsi.

"Dude, I don't mean to sound like Dr. Phil, but talking helps." Christian replied. "Tell ol Christian what's on your mind."

He sighed. "Dude, do you think that I'm a dictator?" he asked.

"Uh..." replied Christian.

"Well, you didn't have to be so harsh about it!" he cried angrily.

"I just said 'Uh'!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, sorry." he replied.

"Punk, is Kelly mad at you about it?" he asked.

"That's the thing, she's been totally hot and cold with me, so I have no idea what she's thinking. What do I do, we just got together and I love her!" he exclaimed.

"Well, if you'd stop being such a Pepsi loving kleptomaniac, maybe the world would be a better place." replied Christian.

Punk just looked at him.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "Well, THAT wasn't very nice!"

-Back outside-

* * *

In the losers' section...

"NOOOO! NONONOnonono..." Edge sobbed, crouched down on the floor. "I hate all of you."

"It's totally unfair that they ALL get to hang out in there and we don't." announced Matt.

"Actually, maybe in some weird way, we kinda deserve to be the only ones in here." replied Maria.

"WHY?" Edge demanded.

"Because! Like I said the other day, we've kinda cheated our way into winning, and we've been winning more than anyone else." she explained.

"Well, that just says that we're the best team, that's all." replied Matt.

"But it was unfair to them, so you know, they deserve to get the first class treatment for once." she replied while Jeff took a seat next to her.

"Hey, guys, there wasn't much left in the kitchen, so I managed to get two bags of cheese puffs and Slim Jims." he announced.

"Slim Jims for me, please." Lita said, taking it. "Thanks!"

"And I LOOOVE cheese puffs! Thank you, Enigma." Maria smiled, giving him a kiss.

"You're welcome." he replied, while he looked up to see Edge and Matt glaring at him. "...What?"

"What about US?" demanded Matt.

"Yeah, don't we exist, too?" cried Edge.

Jeff looked at them. "Really, all I can hear is an annoying buzzing sound. What do you girls think?" he asked.

"Definitely, from Edge." agreed Lita.

"It kinda hurts my ears." agreed Maria.

"Trying to pull one on me again, huh, Little Brat, we'll see about that." Matt muttered.

"It's not fair." Edge muttered, in the fetal position, scootching around on the floor. "No shag carpeting on the cold, hard, unforgiving floor. No fattening snacks. I want my room back..."

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "Ok, I am so sick and tired of my immature little brat trying to humiliate me whenever he gets a chance to! One of these days, he's gonna get what's coming to him, and this one's gonna nip him. It's gonna nip him in the bud."

Jeff: "Wow, stealing sitcom lines, that's a new low for you."

Matt: "GET OUT!"

Edge: "God, I want my chair back."

-Back outside-

* * *

Back in the Playas Lounge...

"Isn't this wonderful, Evan?" Mickie asked, relaxing in a reclining chair with cucumber slices over her eyes.

"Sure is, Mickie." he agreed, relaxing in a reclining chair next to hers. Then, he shyly moved his hand near hers and held it, while Mickie smiled and held his hand.

"Evan, remember the other day when we both said that we had something to say to one another?" she asked.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Well, I want to just go out and say it." she continued.

Meanwhile, Chef Big Show noticed that the plane had a problem. "Oh, spaghetti-o's." he announced.

"What's wrong?" asked Jericho.

"Looks like the plane's outta fuel." he announced.

"WHAT?" demanded Jericho. "Hold on, let me see where we are."

He rushed to the side door of the plane, where he looked out. For a second, he paused because he thought he saw someone (Cena) watching him from behind, but shook it off. "Well, at least we're at our destination."

"Seriously, Chris, we're outta fuel, and we're gonna crash." Show replied. "Should I do something?"

"Well, we certainly can't crash! I'm the star of this show, if anything happens to me, we're screwed! Just prepare the emergency landing procedure." Jericho replied.

Meanwhile...

"Evan, I lo-" began Mickie while the plane started dropping incredibly fast.

"Whoa, what the hell's going on?" asked Evan.

"Looks like the plane's crashing!" exclaimed Punk.

"WE'RE GONNA DIEE!" Kelly cried. "Eve, hold me!"

"No! No, I gotta get outta here!" Mickie cried, freaking out.

"Whoa, Mickie, it's all right, we have to stay calm." replied Evan.

"No, Evan, I've always been terrified of plane crashes, and I just have to get outta here." she replied, leaping up and headed towards the emergency exit.

"Mickie, no!" he exclaimed after she grabbed a parachute and leaped out.

"AAAH!" she cried.

"MICKIE!" Evan exclaimed, leaping after her.

"You guys!" cried Christian. "Well, this just gets better and better."

Before the plane could crash, Mickie and Evan landed on a soft sandy beach.

"Whoa. You ok?" asked Evan.

"Yeah, I think so. You shouldn't have followed me, Evan." she replied.

"I had to, Mickie. I was worried about you." he said sincerely.

She smiled back at him.

"Mickie, I lo-" he began once they both saw a huge shadow falling over them. "That's the plane, isn't it?"

"...Yeah." Mickie squeaked in a small voice.

"_AAAAAHHHHH!_" they screamed before the plane crashed onto them!

After the horrible crash, everyone exited the plane while Mickie and Evan were taken away in an ambulance, which only turned a corner and dropped them off in a nearby medical tent.

"Are they going to be ok?" Kelly asked, worried.

"Yeah, what the hell's going on here?" asked Lita.

"Ok, ok, parasites. Mickie and Evan should be perfectly fine, maybe just a few cuts and scratches, but nothing major." Jericho replied.

"Nothing maj-they got crushed by a plane!" exclaimed Christian.

"Yeah…they'll be fine. And uh, we crashed because we're outta fuel." he continued.

"And we have no money to get any more." added Big Show.

"And just how did you run out of money?" asked Matt.

"Chris's new Jet pack which cost like, $500,000." he replied.

"Show, damn it, I told you not to tell these parasites anything!" Jericho snapped.

"You wasted all that money on something for yourself?" asked Punk. "Well, why am I not surprised?"

"I get to live my life the way I please, thank you very much! Besides, Look on the bright side! If we gotta be stranded, at least we're stranded here in beautiful Jamaica!" he exclaimed. "Our next destination!"

"Well, that does sound really nice. But I just hope Mickie and Evan are all right." replied Maria.

In the medical tent, the two were lying in hospital beds. Evan soon woke up, surprised that he was ok. "Wow, thank god that thing didn't kill me...Mickie!" he cried, rushing to her bed to still find her unconscious. "Mickie, please." he said, worried. "If someone like me could survive this, then you sure as hell could. I don't know what you were about to tell me before we crashed, but the least I could do is to tell you." he continued, brushing a strand of her hair aside. "Mickie, you're amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and there's nobody else out there who would put up with me like you have. So I'm just gonna go out and say it. I love you." he announced, taking her hand. "I just hope you can hear me."

Then, she slowly opened her eyes and smiled. "I heard you, Evan." she replied.

"Mickie!" he cried, surprised. "Thank God you're ok."

"I just wanted to tell you earlier that I love you too." she replied, taking his hand.

Surprised, he smiled back at her.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Evan: "YES! Dreams DO come true! *bumps into door and falls out* "Ow."

Mickie: "Is it true that love makes you do crazy things?...WOOHOO, HE LOVES ME! *bumps leg onto sink stand* OW!" *looks at camera* "Don't tape this part!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, back outside, the teams were dressed in their bathing suits, and were all standing at the edge of a cliff while Jericho explained their challenge...

"All right, parasites, we may be comfy here in Jamaica for who knows how long, so your next challenge will tell you that it's not all about maxing and relaxing over here. See, one member from each team will jump down into that ocean and locate Chef Big Show's old fake costume gold chains down there." he explained.

Everyone looked at Show.

"I'm a fan of 90's gangsta rap, so what?" he asked.

"Anywhoo. Once you retrieve a chain, you must go back up and tag a member of your team and they'll go in next. But here's the fun part. There are electric eels and sharks down there who'll distract you, so time is of the essence. The team who collects the most chains is the winner! Fun, right?" he asked.

"Wow, you just can't wait until the day that one of your insane challenges finally does kill us, don't you?" asked Matt.

"Yeah..." he smiled. "So, what are you waiting for, parasites, GO, GO, GO!" he exclaimed.

Edge, Christian, and Punk were up first.

"Hey, Edge, race you down!" exclaimed Christian.

"Fat chance, dude!" he exclaimed, while they both leaped off at the same time. "WOOHOOO...!"

Punk looked back at Kelly, who smiled and waved towards him. "Be careful down there, babe." she said.

"So, does this mean that you're not pissed with me?" he asked.

"Nope. It means that you better watch your back, cause I'm gonna be the one who steals the show and becomes the highlight of the team." she replied, giving him a kiss while he looked stunned, shook it off, and leaped down.

Underwater, Edge located a chain, but before he could reach it, a shark blocked his path. Edge angrily punched it on the nose, before the shark got angry and grabbed Edge with its flipper and pretty much beat the holy crap out of him like a punching bag. Christian's vision was a bit blurred in the water, and mistakenly grabbed an eel instead of the chain.

"Christian?" Eve called from the top.

*ZAP!* "_AAAAAHHHHHHHH_!" he cried in pain.

"CHRISTIAN!" she cried, worried.

"I'm good." he replied weakly.

Punk was able to grab a chain and ran back up to tag Kelly in. "Well, if you're gonna be so cocky about it, let's try less talk and more walk?" he asked.

"Oh, you wish." she replied before jumping in.

Next, Edge (who was bruised) climbed back up with a chain, while his team laughed at him.

"Hey, YOU try dealing with Jaws down there!" he exclaimed angrily, tagging Lita next.

"Yeah, right." she replied, but before she jumped, Edge continued, "Hey, nice bathing suit. Wear it more often for me, ok?"

Startled by the comment, Lita lost her balance and fell into the water, belly flopping. *SPLASH!* "Damn you, Edge!" she called back.

He chuckled.

Christian (who looked a little frazzled by the eel) ran back up the cliff without any chain, and was about to leap off again.

"Christian, wait, aren't you gonna tag me in?" asked Eve.

"Not until I catch a chain first. I know I can do this!" he exclaimed, leaping off. "We have to win and prove everyone wroooong!" he cried, falling down.

Lita climbed back up with a chain and tagged Jeff in next. He decided to leap in the water with a cannonball, which caused a huge splash of water towards his teammates, and an electric eel landed on Matt's head. "Damn it, Jeff." he muttered before the eel shocked him. "OWowowowowowow...!"

Lita quickly tossed it off. "Thanks." he told her.

"No biggie." she replied.

"Aww, you should've left it on him, he looked like a living vibrator, hahahaha!" Edge laughed.

"Whoa, I didn't know you used vibrators, Edge." Matt replied.

"OH!" Edge cried, insulted.

Christian arrived back up the cliff, finally finding a chain. "VICTORY!" he cheered, accidentally pushing Eve off of the cliff. "AAAH...!" she screamed.

"Oh, my God! EVE! I'm coming!" he cried, leaping off again.

Jeff ran back up the cliff to tag in Maria, but before she jumped off, he said, "Ria?"

She turned around. "Yeah?"

"Be careful down there." he replied seriously.

She smiled and replied, "I'll be fine, Enigma." before giving him a kiss and leaping off.

Down in the water, she searched around for whatever chains were left. She found some and grabbed them, but it was too late when she saw a school of eels approaching her. She tried to swim away, but the eels wrapped around her and began shocking her. She was in pain, but she furiously managed to rip them off of her before the shock become too much for her and she lost consciousness and sunk further into the water.

"It sure is taking Maria a while to get back here." announced Matt.

"You don't think anything happened to her, do you?" asked Lita.

Remembering all the sharks and eels down there, Jeff quickly dived in the water. He searched for her and soon found her sinking further and further below. He quickly caught her in his arms and quickly swam her back to shore, right before a shark could attack them. After that was over, he carried her back to civilization with the rest of their team. "Oh, my God, is she all right?" asked Lita.

"Maria?" Jeff asked, worried. "Baby, wake up, please."

After a few minutes, she slowly opened her eyes to find Jeff gazing at her. "...Jeff." she said weakly.

"Maybe she needs to go to the medical tent with the others." announced Matt.

"I'll take her." Jeff replied, carrying her. "Tell Jericho where I am if he asks anything. I'll be back."

"Wow, somehow getting beaten senseless by a shark doesn't seem as bad anymore." announced Edge. Lita angrily punched him in the face. "OW!" he cried.

Later on, Jeff and Maria joined Mickie and Evan in the medical tent...

"Mickie, Evan, how you guys holding up?" he asked them.

"We're doing fine." replied Evan.

"I think I hurt my leg though." Mickie replied. "Ow! Never mind me, what happened to Ria?"

"She got attacked by some eels." he replied.

"What?" the two asked, surprised.

"It was part of Jericho's challenge." he replied, lying her down on a bed.

"Is she all right?" Mickie asked, trying to get up, but her leg was bothering her. "OW!"

"Easy, Mickie." Evan said calmly.

"She was out of it when I found her." Jeff replied, still worried.

Then, she began to wake up. "Mmm...where am I?" she asked.

"Ria?" Mickie asked.

"Mickie? Evan? Jeff?" she asked, confused. "Are you two ok? What happened to your leg, Mickie?"

"We're fine, but Mickie hurt her leg." replied Evan.

"No!" she cried, worried.

"Never mind me, how are you feeling?" Mickie asked her.

"A little out of it. Last thing I remember is that a whole bunch of eels wrapped around me and started shocking the living hell outta me." she replied. "How'd I make it in here?"

"Jeff saved you." replied Evan.

Surprised, she looked back at him. "You did?" she asked him.

"Well, I got worried about you, so, yeah." he replied. "Thank God you're all right, Skittle."

"Well, thank you for being my hero once again, my Rainbow Haired Warrior." she smiled, while he smiled back and wrapped her in a hug.

"I love you so much." he whispered to her.

"I love you too, baby." she whispered back before they kissed.

"Ok, I wish I could stay, but I gotta get back to the team for the next challenge." he said.

"Wait, I want to come, too!" Maria exclaimed.

"No, Ria, you gotta stay here and get your rest. I'll come back to check up on you." Jeff replied, blowing a kiss to her. "Mickie, Evan, you guys get better, too!" he called, heading off.

"Yeah, soon enough, we'll all be able to get back in the competition!" exclaimed Evan.

"Actually...I don't know if I'll be able to join you guys." Mickie said quietly.

The other two looked at her in surprise.


	20. Ep 11, pt 2

Back outside at the beach...

"Ok, worms, that contest was pain inducing, eh?" asked Jericho. "Now, I've counted up how many chains each team's collected, and Team Peep Force 2, you have 3, Team Deadly Bunny, you have 4, and Team Misfits have a whopping 7 chains, so they win the first contest!"

"YEAH-WHOOHOO!" they cheered.

"Surprise, surprise." Punk announced.

"Jealous much?" Edge asked with a smirk. "You used to be on this team, remember?"

"Anyways, for winning that, you guys get the advantage in the next challenge, which are these helmets." Jericho replied, tossing them some. "This next challenge is gonna be a fun one. Two members from each team will ride a longboard down that old, rickety track that Big Show created himself, and land in that pool down there."

They looked down it.

"Well, we're completely screwed." Christian said quickly.

"It's a race, so the team who ends up with the quickest time will win. Now this'll go for three rounds, so switch teammates after each turn...well, except for you four since both your teams are like, cursed with bad luck or something." he laughed at Christian and Eve and Punk and Kelly.

"Oh, shut up!" snapped Punk.

"So, you guys get ready, I gotta check up on the crippled ones back in the medical tent." he concluded.

"How's Maria doing?" asked Lita.

"She's feeling a lot better, thank God." he replied with a smile.

She smiled back. "Thank God is right. Now when she gets back, you guys can hold me back before I'll have to kill Edge." she replied.

"HEH?" he demanded.

"Mind your own business, bub." she replied, shoving him away.

Back in the medical tent...

"Mickie, what do you mean, you're dropping out of the competition?" asked Maria.

"Ria, I have to. My leg's broken and it's gonna take months to heal back, so there's no way for me to compete anymore." she replied.

"It's all my fault." Evan said miserably.

"Sweetie, how's it your fault? I was the one who freaked out and jumped out of the plane." she said, taking his hand.

"But I should've stopped you, or at least braced your fall when the plane crushed us." he replied. "Mickie, I'm so sorry about this."

"Stop apologizing. You saved me down there, things could've been way worse." she replied. "And even when I do leave, I'll call you everyday."

"I'll be there to hear your voice." he smiled back. "God, I'm gonna miss you."

"I'm just so glad you guys are together now." Maria smiled.

"Us, too." she replied.

_"Hey, parasites in there! Listen, I know you may be hurting now or whatever, but maybe singing will ease your pain or whatever. So sing something. Jericho, OUT!" _he exclaimed from the intercom.

"Leave it to him to make us sing at the wrong time." announced Maria.

"Don't worry, I've got the perfect song for Evan and I to sing." Mickie announced once Rihanna's 'Hate That I Love You' started playing.

Mickie: "That's how much I love you  
That's how much I need you  
And I can't stand you  
Must everything you do make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for awhile? (No...)

Evan: "But you won't let me  
You upset me girl  
And then you kiss my lips  
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)  
Can't remember what you did…"

Mickie: "But I hate it...  
You know exactly what to do  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
For too long that's wrong…"

Evan: "But I hate it...  
You know exactly how to touch  
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more  
Said I despise that I adore you.."

Mickie: "And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)  
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)  
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)"

Evan: "You completely know the power that you have  
The only one makes me laugh…"

Mickie: "Said it's not fair  
How you take advantage of the fact  
That I... love you beyond the reason why  
And it just ain't right…"

Evan: "And I hate how much I love you girl  
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)  
And I hate how much I love you girl  
But I just can't let you go  
But I hate that I love you so…"

Both: "One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak  
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me..."

Evan: "Yeah... Oh..."

Mickie: "That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)  
That's how much I need you (oh..)  
That's how much I love you (oh..)  
As much as I need you…  
And I hate that I love you so  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)  
And I hate that I love you so…"

Both: "And I hate that I love you so.. so..."

When the song ended, the two leaned in and shared their first kiss!

Maria smiled happily and cheered. "EEE!"

"...Whoa." Evan replied, nearly falling out once they broke apart. "Whoa!-Evan!" the girls exclaimed, helping him up.

"Mickie, you can't leave yet!" exclaimed Maria. "I know! If you guys are feeling better, let's at least find the others and watch the next challenge."

"What about you, aren't you still hurting?" asked Mickie.

"A little, but Jeff needs me." she smiled, running off. "C'mon!"

Back at the beach, the race was about to begin...

Punk and Kelly, Christian and Eve, and Matt and Lita were the first ones up.

"All righty, parasites! Ready...set...DON'T KILL YOURSELVES!" Jericho exclaimed, shooting a gun in the air.

The teams raced off, speeding through every twist and turn of the three paths that they were on.

"WOOHOO!" Eve exclaimed, riding in front, while Christian held onto her for dear life and screamed in terror.

"Uh Christian, this is a very compromising position here." she chuckled.

"I really don't care at the moment-AAAH!" he cried.

"WOOOO!" Lita cheered, holding onto Matt's shoulders while he led the board. He looked back at her for a moment while she blushed, but smiled.

"Oh, no, there's Eve. Can we please leave her in the dust?" she asked him.

"I think that can be arranged." he replied, speeding ahead.

While they caught up with them, Eve caught her. "Oh, look at that Lita groping all over him. Hang on, Christian." she said, making the board go even faster.

"Wait, Eve, isn't there another way to settle-OH, GOD!" Christian screamed as she sped them faster.

The girls fiercely glared at one another as they headed towards the pool, but before either of them could, Punk and Kelly sped past them and reached the pool first, followed by Lita and Matt, and Eve and Christian coming in close behind.

"Chica." Lita said, storming up to her.

"Emo!" Eve cried, storming up to her.

"I think I have an aneurysm." Christian announced, holding his head.

"Girls, can we please cool it down?" Matt asked, separating them.

"Okay." Eve smiled at him, blushing.

"All right, parasites, Punk and Kelly came in first with 40.2 seconds, Lita and Matt in second with 42.5, and Eve and Christian in third with 42.8." announced Jericho.

"YES!" Punk and Kelly cheered before looking at one another.

"Hey, if it wasn't for MY leadership, we wouldn't have won!" cried Punk.

"Well, if it wasn't for MY plan, we wouldn't have won!" argued Kelly.

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

"Hell yeah!" she cried.

"Well, get over here." he replied, wrapping her in a passionate kiss while she eagerly returned the kiss.

Round 2...

"Hey, guys!" Mickie exclaimed, arriving with Evan.

"Mickie, what happened to your leg?" Kelly asked, seeing that she was using crutches.

"Did you break it during the crash?" asked Punk.

"Yeah. I just came to tell you guys that I'm dropping out of the competition." she replied.

"Aw, man." Punk said, disappointed.

"No! Are you sure?" asked Kelly, devastated.

"Yeah, I don't have much of a choice." she replied. "But I'll stay to watch the rest of my team hopefully win."

"We will, don't worry. We're already in the lead!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Well, I'm well enough to compete." replied Evan. "What are we doing?"

"Longboard racing, you can be my partner for round 2!" Kelly exclaimed, taking him along. "Since Punky here's too self righteous for his own good."

"YOU SHOULD TALK!" he called after her.

"CM, are you ok?" asked Mickie.

"Of course I am. This is how Kelly and I always communicate. By berating each other's self esteem." he replied while she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Ok, wormies, time for round 2, get ready!" exclaimed Jericho, who was now wearing a Jamaican beanie dreadlock cap. "How do I look, mon?"

"Stupid." replied Big Show.

Kelly and Evan got settled on one board, while Christian and Eve got settled on theirs. Jeff wanted to go next, but needed a partner and didn't want to go with Edge. He looked around, but didn't see anyone. Until...

"Hey, Enigma!" called a voice.

He turned around to find Maria carrying two helmets. "Put it on, you'll need it." she told him.

"Ria, what are you doing here, I thought-" he began.

"I'm fine, Jeff. Now what are we waiting for, don't we have a contest to win?" she asked with a smile.

He caught the helmet and smiled back at her. "Hell, yeah, we do!" he replied, knuckle punching her.

After that, the race was about to begin!

"Ready, set, GO MON!" cried Jericho.

"OH, GOOOOODDDDD!" Christian cried once Eve led them down once again.

The three teams zoomed down the twisty and turning paths, and it was another close race.

"Is it time for phase two, Ria?" asked Jeff, smiling at her.

She smiled back at him. "I think so." she replied, while the two used their hands to pedal faster.

After a few minutes, Christian and Eve reached the pool first, followed by Kelly and Evan, and Jeff and Maria following close behind.

"I think we won, Christian!" exclaimed Eve.

As a reply, he dazedly blew bubbles in the water.

"All right, worms, Christian and Eve got a time of 39.4, Kelly and Evan got 41.3, and Jeff and Maria got a time of 42.0 seconds! Time for round 3, mon! WOO!" Jericho exclaimed.

Round 3...

"Great job, Evan!" cheered Kelly.

"Thanks, you too!" he agreed.

"Want to race the last course together?"

Before he answered, he saw Punk sadly poking around in the sand. "Actually, I think Punk wants another try."

He looked up.

"But-" she began.

"Give the guy a chance." Evan told her. "I gotta spend some time with Mickie, anyway."

She looked at Punk and replied, "Ok. Let's go."

The last round saw Christian and Eve, vs. Punk and Kelly, vs. Lita and Edge, who decided to tag along with her.

"Edge, no crap from you, ok? If you do anything funny, I'll kill you." Lita said threateningly.

"Oh. I won't." he said with a smirk.

"Ok, worms, round three! Ready...set...GO, MON!" Jericho exclaimed.

The three teams raced down the track once again, with Punk and Kelly in the lead, followed by Christian and Eve, and Lita and Edge close behind.

"Hey, dude, getting some action, I see!" Christian called to Edge.

"WHAT?" Lita demanded, glaring at him.

He turned her head back around.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "I swear, I'll kill that horny little bastard!"

Edge: "Nobody can prove anything!"

-Back outside-

* * *

They were nearing the end of the race, and when the were near the pool, Punk and Kelly caught a few obstacles in their path. "Huh? KEL, LOOK OUT!" Punk cried.

She looked ahead to find a group of seagulls, who flew away at the last minute, and then a walrus which was too fat to move. They leaped over the walrus...

"AAH!" they screamed.

...landed down, and saw a loose board in the way. "KEL, LOOK OUT!" he cried again.

They ran over the board, leaped in the air again, made a hard landing, raced through the pool, and sent the two flying in the air, finally crashing to the ground.

"Ow." Punk concluded. "Kel, you-Kelly, you ok?"

"OW! Owowowowowow!" she cried, holding her ankle. "No, I think I broke my ankle!"

"Wow, what's with all these injuries today?" asked Big Show.

"Show, quick, let me see those waivers again." Jericho said quickly. He flipped through them and handed it back. "Don't worry, we won't be sued for any of this. So, uh, parasites. I added up each team's times during the race, and Team Deadly Bunny blahblahblah, you guys win with 2 minutes 20 seconds!"

They cheered.

"But the bad news is, Kelly's injured, making her also unable to compete, am I right?" he asked.

She checked her ankle. "Yeah." she sighed.

"Which means you'll have to be eliminated with Mickie. Too bad for your cursed team." he said, walking away.

* * *

Later that day, everyone heard about Kelly's ankle, including Jeff and Maria...

"Hey, Kelly." they greeted.

"Oh, hey, guys." she smiled. "Great game today. Uh, Ria, I heard about your accident, are you feeling ok now?"

"Sure am, thanks. But never mind me, I just can't believe this is happening to both you and Mickie." she replied. "We're gonna miss you guys."

"I'll miss you guys, too. And before I leave, I want us all to be on a clean slate. If I said or did anything mean to you guys, I'm so sorry." she said.

"Hey, I should be the one apologizing to you. We were both pretty hostile to each other." replied Jeff. "But hey, we'll see each other again, right?"

"Totally! So now, I gotta talk to my wonderful new boyfriend. See you guys around!" she exclaimed, giving them hugs before she went off to find Punk.

Meanwhile...

Mickie and Evan were making out by the ocean before he said, "I still can't believe you're leaving so soon, Mickie."

"I know, right when we're just getting together." she agreed. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Evan."

"I'll miss you too." he replied. "Who's gonna stop me when I have all those Urkel moments now? The others'll just kill me!"

She giggled. "No, they won't, but if they harass you, give me a call and I'll fix em. And it's not like I'm leaving right away. Luckily, our plane's still stranded, so we could be here on this deserted island for days." she smiled seductively. "You know all the possibilities that'll bring?"

"Hahahaha..." he chuckled. "There is a God." he smiled before they kissed again.

Later that day, Punk was sitting by himself on the beach, where Kelly joined him.

"Hey, room for one more?" she asked.

Surprised, he said, "Sure! So, uh, it's nice that you're talking to me again."

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

"Because if it wasn't for me, your ankle wouldn't have broken, and you'd still be in the competition with me. That's why." he sighed. "I screwed up big time."

"No you didn't do anything wrong, CM. What happened to me was just a freak accident." she replied.

"But you and I just hooked up and you're already leaving! How the hell are we supposed to just build on a long distance relationship? You know that none of those work!" he exclaimed.

"How do you know it won't work for us?" she asked. "No matter where I am, CM, I'll be rooting for you and as soon as you come back, hopefully sooner, we'll be together again."

"Oh, so you're saying that you want me kicked off the show sooner then?" he smirked.

She laughed. "You know what I mean! And I'm sorry if I was a little harsh to you."

"I'm sorry too, my Golden Haired Little Pudding Cup." he replied while she shook her head. "Ok, just promise to never call me that again."

He chuckled. "All right, deal." he replied, gazing at her. "I love you, Kelly."

"I love you too, CM." she replied before they shared a passionate kiss.

After they left, Jericho said, "Well, wasn't that sweet? Ok, seriously, somebody better get us some money for fuel, cause I can't be stranded with these worms for long periods of time! Please, I beg of you. Help your savior, and donate some cash before these people eat me alive! PLEASE! Jericho, out!"


	21. TWWT Chatterbox 2

TWWT Chatterbox 2: Animals, Chicken, and Candy - The Telethon

Episode #12

_"Because you had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_You had to open up your mouth, _

_You had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_All your friends were so knocked out,_

_You had to have the last word, last night,_

_You know what everything's about,_

_You had to have a white hot spotlight,_

_You had to be a big shot last night..."_

The audience cheered once John Morrison, Melina, and Candice all came onstage, wearing formal outfits.

"Hey, everybody, welcome once again to the TWWT Chatterbox!" exclaimed Morrison.

"And this happens to be a very important episode, because as you all know, our friends out on the Jumbo Jet of Fun are all stranded in Jamaica." added Melina.

"AND because of Jericho's greediness, all the money they did have has gone kapooey!" exclaimed Candice.

"Kapooey? asked Morrison.

"Doesn't matter." she said quickly. "Now, today, we need your help more than ever!"

"Because this episode'll be a telethon, in order to raise money for fuel, and so that our friends can get to their next destination safely." added Melina.

"But without your donations, they'll be trapped in Jamaica for god knows how long, and the show will be finished! Now, I know nobody wants that, so our operators are standing by to take your donations." explained Morrison, gesturing to the operators, who were Dave, Michelle, and Shawn.

Michelle just popped her bubble gum, Shawn waved, and Dave was screaming to someone on the phone. "Damn it, Johnson, I said I didn't mean for the deal to go that far, you didn't have to sue me!...Yeah?...Well, you're a (BLEEP)ing moronic jackass who'll (BLEEP)ing fail at life, so (BLEEP) you!" he cried, hanging up.

Everyone looked at him.

"What?" he asked.

"..Ok. Now the goal of this telethon is to raise up to $500,000. Now, I know it's a lot, but if we all pull together, we can overcome the odds and save our friends!" exclaimed Candice.

"And also today, we've got our most recently eliminated contestants, Hunter, Randy, Mickie, and Kelly, who'll help persuade you guys to donate money." added Morrison.

"Wait, did you say Hunter was here?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah."

"Heh heh. Now, I can finally confront him for that dumb puppet that mocks me." he replied with an evil smile. "I can finally destroy that rag and Hunter'll be MY best friend once again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Silence.

"Oh." he said meekly, going back to his phone.

"Now, before we bring anyone out, I must stress this serious issue out for everyone. See, if you donate, you'll be saving innocent people from what could be a horrible demise! They're fighting for their lives out there, and are just fighting to survive out in that cold, dangerous jungle!" explained Candice.

The donation raised to $1!

"Uh, I thought those guys were maxing and relaxing in sunny, beautiful Jamaica." announced Dave.

The donation went back down to 0.

"DAVE!" she shouted. "Ok, please hear us out, they can't live out there forever! Without them moving onto their next destination, the show'll be over! This is our last season, don't you want us to at least finish it and have a clear winner in the competition so we can all move on with our lives and never have to deal with Jericho again?" she continued.

"And speaking on the topic of Jericho, he's the cause of everyone's pain!" exclaimed Melina. "Please, everyone. Save the contestants, save the show, don't give a damn about that self centered, conceited jerkoff who only takes joy in torturing innocent people."

They looked at the donation board, which was still at $0.

"Come on, you guys, we're desperate!" cried Candice.

"Look, we'll sell you Chef Big Show's Yummy Bars from the Japan episode!" exclaimed Morrison, holding up a bag. "Only $29.99! Buy some for your friends!"

"You mean that crap that tastes like dog food?" asked Dave.

"Dude, do you know when you're not allowed to talk?" he demanded.

"Buy some Yummy bars for you dog, then! You cat, your hamster, your pig, ANYONE!" exclaimed Candice.

"We also have these t-shirts with Jericho's face on them-wait, we're not promoting him." Melina replied, tossing them aside. "So, what else, you guys?"

"I can pole dance for you guys." announced Michelle.

"YEAH!" cheered the guys in the audience.

"Egh." Melina cringed. "Who wants to see that bag of bones pole dance?"

"If it'll raise money, then I'll allow it." replied Morrison.

She went to the pole and swung around it a few times, while the guys in the audience cheered and then she stopped.

Everyone looked at the board and saw that only $15 was made.

"$15 bucks?" she demanded. "I'll never perform for you flipping cheapskates again."

"I'm really not surprised at this." announced Candice.

"Yeah...so, let's start with the show, our guests today have been through injuries, heartbreak, triumph, and all that stuff, please welcome our first guest, Kelly Kelly!" announced Morrison.

_"Holla, holla...Now all my girls in the club say oh, cause you know just how we do, side to side and front to back, if you ain't taking that (holla holla)"_

The audience cheered once she arrived with her leg in a cast, waving to everyone, while Dave stood up and applauded.

"Hi, everyone, you're all beautiful!" she greeted before greeting Morrison, Candice, and Melina. Dave tried to give her a hug and kiss, before she managed to dodge him.

"Hey, Kel, how you feeling?" asked Candice.

"Leg's still bothering me, but I'm still in a happy mood!" she exclaimed.

"All righty then!" exclaimed Melina. "So, Kelly, what did you bring to give to the people if they donate in your name?"

"Huh?" she asked blankly.

"You were supposed to bring a gift for the donators." said Morrison.

"Why?" she asked.

"Kelly, your friends are still trapped in Jamaica, remember?" he asked.

"What? They didn't come with Mickie and I? I thought we were all together! You mean, even Punky's not here with me? Why didn't anyone tell me ANYTHING-Ooh, lollipop." she finished once Candice held one in front of her.

Melina sighed. "Kel, don't you have anything available to give to the people if they donate in your name?" she asked.

"Uh...OH! I got it!" she exclaimed, wheeling out her suitcase. "I have a collection of used nail polishes, like every shade of every color of the rainbow! I only used each one once, so it's okay!"

"Better than nothing. All right, folks, if you donate in Kelly's name, we'll send you a nail polish of your choosing! WOO!" cheered Morrison. "Let's look at the donation board...$150 bucks. Well way to dig deep, people."

"Ok, never mind, let's bring out our next guest, our resident villain, the maestro of mind games, Randy Orton!" announced Candice.

_"I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they tell me things that I will do, they show me things I'll do to you, they talk to me..."_

There was a mixed reaction from the audience while he came out. He glared at everyone, while Michelle joined him.

"RANDY!" she exclaimed. "Babe, I missed you!"

He gave her a kiss. "Missed you too, Chelle." he replied.

"Randy." Morrison said, glaring at him.

"Burro." Melina grumbled in Spanish.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." he replied, lounging on the couch.

"Randy, by any chance have you ever seen Cena while you were out?" Candice asked desperately.

"Oh, why would I give a damn about Cena?" he exclaimed. "I'm just pissed cause I made a fool of myself the last time I was on the show, and I plan to redeem myself and to win. Nobody can stop me this time, especially that Christian that's been making me into a joke since day 1."

Michelle stood up and clapped. "Yeah, enough with this Canadian crap!" she exclaimed.

_"She DOES have somethin against Canadians!" _someone from the audience yelled.

"BOOOOOOOO!" they jeered her.

"BOOO! Yeah, that's right, BOO!" Kelly joined in.

"Oh, who asked you, you blonde little moron?" Michelle demanded, storming up to her.

"WHOOOOOOO! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" the audience cheered.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Kelly cried back.

"Dave?" asked Morrison.

She was about to kick her injured leg, before Dave stepped in, casually picked Michelle up, and brung her back to the operating stands. "Kelly's too good for you to hurt." he said.

"Hey, Dave, get your hands off of my woman!" Randy exclaimed.

"Ok, let's have some fun here. Now, over the past few months, we've noticed that you and animals don't exactly mix. Take a look at the screen." announced Melina.

On the screen, a few clips were shown of Randy getting attacked by gorillas, chimpanzees, goats, baby goats, piranhas, him nearly running over a baby seal, and him unintentionally scaring away a bunny rabbit.

"Touche." announced Morrison.

"Ok, that? That was not my fault! Those animals attacked ME, I did not attack THEM!" he exclaimed.

"Well, you were all creepy and nice the day you were eliminated and scared that poor little bunny rabbit." announced Kelly. "I don't think it was its fault."

"I was high that day, don't remind me." he replied dully.

"Anyhoo, we're gonna play a game in order to gain donations, called, 'Randy's Wild World of Animals!'" announced Morrison.

"Huh?" he asked blankly.

"See, our interns here are bringing out every animal and some other ones, that you've dealt with before." he explained while the interns brought out animals in cages. "See, you got your chimps, the gorilla, some alligators, goats, bunny rabbits, snakes, the poor baby seal you almost ran over, all that good stuff. So, like, if you folks out there donate say, $500, Randy will pet a certain animal, and you'll see what happens next."

"People, this is a deal you cannot miss!" exclaimed Melina. "You get a chance to see Randy here get torn to shreds if you donate!"

"I'm not doing that!" he argued. "I don't even care if those guys are out stranded, all I need is my Michelle, and I'm good."

"I don't like seeing animals in cages. That's cruelty." announced Kelly, unlatching each animal's cage.

"NO!" everyone else cried before all the animals escaped and rampaged all over everyone and everything!

A gorilla charged towards Dave before he fled the scene and went to the green room.  
"Well, hi-de-ho, people!" Shawn cried quickly, hiding under his desk before a bird could attack him.

"AAH!" Michelle screamed, speeding away from a goat that was chasing her.

"Hey, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM CHELLE!" Randy shouted before a second goat jumped him down, and a whole gang of animals ganged up on him and beat the crap outta him. "OOF!"

"WHOOOOOO! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" the audience exclaimed before some of the animals headed towards them, too. "JER-AAAAAAHHH!" they screamed, scattering away.

"What'd I do?" Kelly asked, while she didn't notice a piranha flying past her head.

"Ok, while we try to restore some order here, enjoy this commercial break." Morrison announced before the demonic bunny rabbit charged towards them. "AAAH!" they screamed, while the donation chart started going up at all the sudden destruction.

"GO TO THE DAMNED COMMERCIAL, ALREADY!" screamed Melina. "AY, DIOS MIO!"

* * *

After the commercial break, everyone was tattered and torn, but the animals were gone...

"And welcome back to the show, everyone!" exclaimed Candice. "As you can see, we've gotten rid of the animals, and hopefully nobody was killed in that mess. And look, we raised over $300,000 so far!"

"Looks like there's hope for us after all!" exclaimed Melina.

"Ok, let's move onto our next guest, the big guy with attitude, the King Of Kings, one half of D-Generation X, Triple H!" announced Morrison.

_"Time to play the Game...TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!...It's all about the game, and how you play it, all about control..."_

"Everyone cheered once Hunter arrived and waved to them. "Hey, peoples!"

"Hey, Hunter, what's news?" asked Melina after he greeted everyone.

"Not much, just Shawn and I were-" he began before he slowly turned around to find the real Shawn hovering over him.

"Hi, Hunter." he said casually.

He looked back at him.

"You don't remember me, do you?" asked Shawn.

"You look awfully familiar." he replied, repeatedly looking at his puppet and back at Shawn and back at his puppet and back at Shawn again. "Uh...Chuck, right?"

He looked stunned. "CHUCK?" he demanded. "Hunter, I cannot believe you don't remember me!"

"I know I've seen you before!" Hunter replied. "Anyway, Buster, this is Shawn, Shawn, this is Buster."

The real Shawn slapped his forehead and replied, "Ok, I'll play along. Hi, Shawn. It's finally nice to meet you, it sure must be nice for some ragtag piece of sock to be going around being my replacement, HUH? It must be nice going around stealing my best friend, HUH? It must be nice to make a mockery of me for the whole world to see, HUH?"

"Whoa, Dilbert, calm down." Hunter said, shielding the puppet. "Shawn doesn't like to be yelled at."

Amused, Randy chuckled and shook his head. "Well, this is a Class-A circus act." he announced.

"Oh, crap." Dave announced.

"What is it, Dave?" asked Morrison.

"Uh, just got a call from some important dude. Says that to repair the costs of the damaged studio, the new goal of the telethon is to raise $1,000,000. Sounds bad." he replied.

"WHAT?" demanded Melina. "How the hell are we supposed to raise a million bucks in like, 20 minutes?"

"Extreme measures. Ok, since we all know DX would be reunited here, you guys gotta sell some merchandise in order to raise some more cash." Morrison asked quickly, shoving them to a stand. "Folks, remember, we gotta raise a million bucks now, so spend, spend, spend! Guys, take it away!"

Stunned for a moment, the two looked at one another before Hunter said, "Uh, yeah, D-Generation X here with some very exclusive deals, eh, Shawn?"

"That's right, Hunter." replied Shawn.

"No, I meant Shawn, Rufus." he told him.

He growled.

"Ok, this is our special telethon sale! Check out this DX basketball jersey! Perfect for all your basketball playing needs!" Hunter exclaimed.

"You'll make all your homies jealous. Hot on the flip side, huh, G?" asked Shawn.

"Oh, Tom, don't talk street ever again." Hunter replied, shaking his head. "Make sure to get the matching headband and sweatband sets, too."

"I'm not Tom." he replied.

"Ok, moving on, if basketball isn't you thing, that's all right. How about something for the kids, like...the Elimination Chamber playset?" Hunter asked. "Lots of fun, you can create your own matches, you make the rules!"

"Yeah, it's good fun for us adults, too. Gotta stay up for late hours figuring out what goes where, pulling your hair out at every nook and cranny, it's mad, I tell you, MAD!" Shawn cried, dramatically.

"Why must you complain, Alphonse?" asked Hunter. "It's all in good fun, that's the point!"

"Yeah, I'm not Alphonse. And all the kids ever want to do is to play with the BOX! GRR!" he cried.

"It's a very nice box! Hey, here's a sweet deal! If you donate over $400, we'll send you the box!" exclaimed Hunter. "Isn't that great Shawn, Edwin?"

"Hunter, PLEASE! My name is Shawn! Not Edwin, not Alphonse, not Tom, not Rufus, not Dilbert, not Chuck-" Shawn cried.

"Where are you getting to, Bob?" asked Hunter.

"BOB?" he demanded in shock. "Hunter, I'm your best friend, not that puppet! You remembered who I was before I was kicked outta that plane, right? A few weeks away and I'm nobody to you? Come on, man, 15 years! We've been friends for over 15 years! Don't you remember everything we've been through together? All the championships we've won? All the times we've gotten arrested together?"

He chuckled. "It's all starting to come back to me now." he replied.

"Good, remember all those good times! We're D-Generation X, partners in crime, best friends for life!" he exclaimed.

"Uh, sources want you guys to sing a song." Morrison said quickly.

Shawn: "Let's face the facts about me and you, a love unspecified. Through I'm proud to call you Chocolate Bear, the crowd will always talk and stare..."

Hunter: "I feel exactly those feelings, too, and that's why I keep them inside. Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain, and sometimes it's easier to hide, than explain our,"

Both: "Guy love, that's all it is. Guy love, he's mine, I'm his. There's nothing bad about it in our eyes..."

Hunter: "You ask me bout this thing we share,"

Shawn: "And he tenderly replies..."

Hunter: "It's guy love..."

Both: "Between two guys."

Hunter: "We're closer than the average man and wife,"

Shawn: "That's why our matching bracelets say Hunter and Shawn, you see,"

Hunter: "You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life."

Shawn: "You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!"

Everyone stared at them.

Hunter: "Whoa, I just took out his appendix once!" *holds photo*

Shawn: "There's no need to clarify."

Hunter: "Oh, no?"

Shawn: "Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I married my best friend,"

Hunter: "But in a totally manly way!"

Both: "Let's go! It's guy love, don't compromise, the feeling of some other guy, holding up your heart into the sky."

Shawn: "I'll be there to care through all the lows."

Hunter: "I'll be there to share the highs..."

Both: "It's guy love, between two guys..."

Shawn: "And when I say, 'I love you, man', it's not what it implies..."

Both: "It's guy love...between two guys."

While the song ended, Hunter looked at his puppet, tossed it aside, and he and Shawn hugged.

"WHOOOOO!" the audience cheered.

"Wasn't that sweet!" exclaimed Candice. "Let's look at the donation chart."

They looked up to see that it was now up to $750,000!

"WOO! We're more than a quarter of the way there! Great job, everyone!" exclaimed Melina.

"See, telethons. Saving friendships everywhere." announced Hunter.

"Well said, friends. Now, we're almost to our goal, and we still have another guest to bring out." announced Morrison.

Before he could finish, though, the animals seemed to escape and rampaged the stage once again!

"Damn it, not again." he muttered.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Melina screamed once everyone sped off the stage once again.

Hunter and Shawn backed away from a pack of alligators...

"Ehhh.." Shawn cried. "Nice allies. You don't want to eat us, do ya? We're friends."

They stormed towards them.

"Uh, uh..hey! How about some nice DX alligator leashes! Only $19.99 plus shipping and handling!" Hunter said nervously.

Then, they flat out chased them.

"DAMN IT!" the guys screamed, speeding off.

* * *

After the next commercial break...

"Ok, everyone, we're back again and those animals have been sent off to be neutered." announced Candice.

"And NOW, it's time to bring out our fourth and final guest." added Melina.

"Here she is, the honorary third member of DX, the one, the only, Mickie James!" exclaimed Morrison.

While her theme music played, she arrived with her leg also in a cast, while everyone cheered.

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!" they exclaimed.

"Thanks, everyone! Hey, guys!" she greeted to everyone, hugging Hunter and Shawn.

"Hey, Micks!" greeted Shawn.

"Your leg ok?" asked Hunter. "We heard about what happened."

"Yeah, still a little etchy, but I'll live." she replied.

"Hi, Mickie, look, we've got matching leg casts!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Cool!" she exclaimed. "Wait, what's that all over it?"

"Nail polish!" she exclaimed.

"You nail polished your leg?" asked Melina.

"Uh huh!" she exclaimed again. "Well, I wasn't just gonna go with plain old white. Pfft."

Stunned, Melina just walked away.

"Hey, Mickie, have you seen Cena anywhere while you were out?" asked Candice.

"Uh...not that I know of." she replied.

"Aw, come on! People, I ask for your help. See, my boyfriend John Cena's out in the world somewhere, missing, and I have no idea how he's doing. Please, if you wish to help him be found, donate." she pleaded to the camera.

They turned to the board, and the amount stayed the same.

"SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE!" Candice exclaimed, storming off.

Then, Mickie walked up to a camera and said, "Hey, Evan! Please do good in the competition, I miss you and love you, kiss kiss!" she replied before Morrison and Melina led her away. "Ok, it's time for another game the producers thought up." announced Melina.

"Hey, where'd everyone go?" she asked, seeing that the operators were suddenly missing.

"Part of the plan." replied Morrison, who tied Mickie to a chair.

"What are you guys doing?" she demanded.

"Ok, here's the game." he continued. "The chair you're sitting in is connected to that big quiz wheel over there. Since you're one of the smartest ones, we're gonna ask you some questions, based on the amount of money donated. The more cash donated, the harder the question, ok?"

"Uh, I guess I can handle that. But why am I tied to a chair?" she asked.

"Because, if you get the question wrong, you'll fall into this tank of sharks." Melina replied, while a part of the stage opened to find a shark tank placed right beside her chair.

"I thought you guys were my friends." Mickie announced, scared.

"Of course we are! We care about safety around here, don't we, gang?" asked Morrison.

Someone in the audience chuckled.

"Thought so. Ok, first question, for a donation of $1,000." Melina said, spinning the wheel. "What was the name of-"

"Effie Klinker." answered Mickie.

"Oh. Correct! Ok, for $10,000, Italy leads the world in pasta consumption-" began Morrison.

"Venezuela." she answered.

"Wow. For $100,000, you gotta get this wrong. What is the-" began Melina.

"N equals 2 to the 56th power times 2 to the 61st power minus 1 times 153722867280912929 which is equal to 2 times 10 to the 52nd power." she answered.

Melina and Morrison looked shocked.

Someone in the audience coughed.

Then, before Morrison could spin the wheel, it broke off and nearly ran over Mickie before she dodged it. "EEP! What the hell is WRONG with this show?" she demanded, terrified.

"Well, time for plan B. Mickie, now you'll have to be blindfolded and will have to diffuse this time bomb before our friends over here get dropped in the shark tank." Melina announced, gesturing to everyone else, tied up, dangling over the tank.

"Do I still get paid for this?" asked Dave.

"How do you expect me to diffuse a bomb, blindfolded, while some of my friends are being held hostage over a SHARK TANK?" she demanded, blindfolded.

"Well, hurry it up!" cried Randy. "I got serious plans and they don't involve me being ambushed by another animal!"

Before Mickie could do anything, Kelly (who escaped being tied up by going to the powder room instead), joined her. "Whoa, what's going on here?" she asked.

"Kelly, stand back, I gotta diffuse this bomb." announced Mickie.

"Well, you can't do it blindfolded." she replied, taking the bomb from her. "Let me try!"

"Uh oh." Melina and Morrison said.

"Kelly, hold on!" cried Morrison.

"I've always wanted to do this. This one's for you, CM!" Kelly exclaimed, smashing the bomb with a hammer!

*BOOM!*

Kelly flew through a television screen, and after the smoke cleared, the studio was totaled, with the sharks and everyone scattered all over the room.

"Hehehehe!" Kelly laughed weakly, signaling a thumbs up through the screen. "Everything's ok!"

"Wicked ride." Hunter smiled, dangling over a half fallen support beam. "Right, Shawn?"

He sobbed. "I wanna go home." he announced, while a shark was piled on top of him.

Randy tried to crawl away, until a monitor fell on top of him and crushed him. From underneath, his arm tried to crawl himself out, but he gave up.

"Anybody up for some fried chicken?" announced Dave, who was swinging from a ceiling fan.

"Well, uh, let's take a look at the donation board, shall we?" Morrison asked weakly.

They looked at the board to find a donation of $1,000,000.99!

Everyone cheered, "WOOOO-YEAH!" while Melina exclaimed, "We did it! We raised a million bucks! WHOO!"

"And 99 cents!" added Kelly.

"Well, everyone, thanks to your support, the show is back on, and we're back in business! Thanks for a great show, and remember, take care of yourselves, and each other!" exclaimed Morrison. "Good night, everyone. Say, Mel, we're gonna get fired for what we did to the studio, huh?"

"Aw babe, they won't notice a thing." Melina replied with a smile.


	22. Episode 13: London

Total WWE, World Tour: London Calling

Episode #13

"Hey, parasites, guess what? We're BACK! Thanks to your money, the Jumbo Jet of Fun and Total WWE is back in business! So first, let's recap. Last time, we traveled to beautiful Jamaica, where it was anything BUT beautiful. Well, for one thing, Mickie and Evan fled the plane before it crashed, but ended up getting crushed anyway. Mickie ended up with a broken leg that eventually took her out of the competition, but hey, she and Evan got together, so that's a spark of hope for her. The challenge of the day consisted of our friends taking turns leaping into a shark and eel infested ocean, collecting gold chains, and the team who collected the most chains would win. Edge got ambushed by a shark, Christian had some trouble with eels, and poor Maria got the worst of it. After Jeff saved her from an immanent doom, the lovebirds realized how important they were to one another, and became tighter than an elephant trying to break into Neverland Ranch. The second contest was a longboard race down a crazy track, where the team with the fastest time would win. Yeah, it was a long three rounds, so you get what happened. At the end, though, Punk and Kelly finished the race, patched things up with each other, and won for their team, but poor Kel was the next to get injured once she hurt her ankle, sending her out of the competition, too. This week, we're finally down to two teams! Will the competition heat up? What surprise will be in store for one of our teams? And who will be in for one shocking elimination? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Losers' section of the plane, everyone was chatting with one another, since Jericho and Big Show were taking over the Playa's Lounge...

"How dare they?" Edge asked, looking at the door to the Playa's lounge. "HOW DARE THEY DEPRIVE ME OF MY ROOM?"

"Edge, Show and Jericho said that they needed the first class lounge. And besides, we lost the last challenge, so we wouldn't be in there in the first place." replied Matt.

"Do you think I care about others? I had that room first, it's mine, I tell you, MINE!" he cried. "...I want my chair." he started sobbing.

"Get a life, moron." he replied, walking away.

Meanwhile...

"You know, I don't even care that we're not in the first class lounge." Maria told Jeff, while he held her in his arms. "All I do care about is that we're back together after all these years and happier than ever."

"You said it, Ria." he agreed. "I'm just glad that you're all right after that eel attack back in Jamaica."

"Me, too. Hey, baby, I was wondering something." she said.

"Yeah?"

"What managed to keep us apart for so long?" she asked, looking up at him. "I know that Kelly and Punk came into the picture, but if we really loved each other back then, why'd we break up?"

"To tell you the truth, I've been wondering that myself." he replied. "Maybe it's because we were both curious to see how it'd be like dating other people and if we realized that you and I were really meant for each other the whole time."

"Well, that's a pretty obvious answer." she agreed with a laugh, before they kissed.

"Totally." he chuckled. "Point is, I'm yours again and nothing or nobody could ever come between us again."

Matt walked by and heard the last sentence. "We'll see about that, Little Brat." he muttered.

"Yeah, you can't scare me, dude!" he called back. "He's the immature one around here."

She chuckled. "Oh, there's Lita. Hey!" she called.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Listen, thanks for pushing so hard to get Jeff and I back together." she said sincerely.

"Yeah, without you we'd probably only be just friends." added Jeff. "We appreciate it."

"Aw, it's no biggie. Besides, you two've been really cool to me ever since I joined you all, and y'know, I might as well return the favor." she replied.

Maria smiled and gave her a hug.

Lita was stunned for a moment since she wasn't the huggy type, but shrugged and hugged back.

Meanwhile,...

Punk and Evan were sulking around, depressed that Kelly and Mickie were gone.

"God, I miss her." Punk said, looking at a picture of Kelly.

"I really do." Evan agreed, looking at a picture of Mickie. "What do we do about the team, now, dude?"

"What else CAN we do?" Punk asked back. "There's two of us left, and I'm still the leader."

"What?" Evan demanded.

"Dude, as long as I'm still here, this team's still mine to lead." he replied.

"That's not even fair, what about me? I don't think I can just sit around and take orders from you." he replied seriously.

"Well, Kel's not here anymore, so what else can I do around here? I gotta make sure this team continues winning so that I can win this whole thing, for her." replied Punk.

"What if I want to win this thing for Mickie?" he asked back.

He chuckled. "Nice dreaming, dude." he said.

Evan glared at him in surprise.

"You can try, but I'm sure Mickie'll be happy for you whatever place you get. Just not first." he continued.

"Oh, really?" he demanded.

"Evan, I'm in it to win it and nobody else here's gonna stop me." replied Punk. "Not even my own teammate."

"Hey, guys." Christian said, joining them along with Eve.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Punk.

"Jericho just announced that since there's two of us left on each team, that we're allowed to merge together and become one team!" exclaimed Eve. "Isn't this exciting?"

"Oh, really now?" Punk asked thoughtfully. "Maybe now we'll actually have a fighting chance against the other team. I'll be back." he said, heading off.

"Yeah, whatever." Evan muttered.

"Evan, what's up, dude?" asked Christian.

"Look, you guys. I'm stoked that we're all a team now, but I'm warning you two about Punk." he said.

"Why?" asked Eve.

"He's like a dictator! All he wants to do is boss this team around so that he can get what HE wants and not anybody else." he explained.

"Really?" asked Christian.

"Yeah. The three of us just have to stick together and overrule him so that maybe he'll get eliminated next. We can't have him talking us down, do we?" he asked.

"NO!" they agreed.

"We can't have him telling us what to do, right?" he asked.

"NO!" they agreed again.

"We can't have him getting what he wants, RIGHT?" he asked again.

"NO!" they agreed, raising their fists in the air while Christian accidentally punched Evan in the eye. "Oh, crap! I'm sorry, dude! You ok?"

He mustered up a smile and a thumbs up, while covering his black eye. "I'm good." he said shakily.

Meanwhile, Punk walked around and then stopped near the door to the Playa's Lounge, where he heard Jericho and Show discussing something...

"Dude, you can't cheat me outta Mortal Combat! You prude!" Show exclaimed, playing a video game with him.

"Shut up, I'm Chris Jericho, I can do what I want. Now, back to business matters. I've finally found someone to take out those bulbous parasites for good! HAHAHA!" Jericho exclaimed.

Outside, Punk looked stunned. "What?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, really?" asked Show. "Why him, though?"

"Because it's someone we all know well enough." he replied. "Finally, we'll never have to deal with those masomorphs ever AGAIN! HAHAHAHA!"

"But won't this look bad on your record that you'd have a murder rap on your hands?" asked Show.

"Murder?" demanded Punk. "What the hell are they talking about?"

"Well, dude, you know what to do. Take em out and I'll pay you triple the rate of which I pay Show here!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Yeah, don't get your hopes up, man, you still won't have enough to buy a can of de-icer for your car. I should know." replied Show.

"Oh, crap, I gotta get outta here!" Punk cried.

Then, a guy in an overcoat who wore a hat that covered his face came out and was face to face with Punk.

"U-Uh...top of the morning, sir?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

Then, the guy whipped out a switchblade and approached him.

"...(bleep) me. Wait, if Show's in there, who's flying this plane?-" Punk cried before the killer covered his mouth and kidnapped him!

Later...

_"Attention, parasites, please meet me in the front of the plane for your next challenge!" _Jericho exclaimed from the intercom.

Once they all (except Punk) arrived, Lita asked, "So, dude, how are you gonna torture us tonight?"

"No time to explain, just put these parachutes on, parasites *chuckle*, and follow, MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he exclaimed, putting one on and leaping out of the plane.

"...Anyone want to slash his parachute so that he'll fall in a river and possibly never return?" asked Matt.

Soon after that, they all flew down on their parachutes, except for Edge and Christian, who had to share one.

"Isn't this fun, dude? Just you and me, floatin' down together without a care in the world? You know. Two guys. Floating. Down. Fun?" asked Edge.

"No." Christian replied.

Once they landed, the gang found themselves near a double decker bus.

Christian and Edge noticed that their arms were still linked and then quickly squirmed away.

"Ok, parasites! Everybody to the bus!" exclaimed Jericho.

On the bus...

"Ooh, is this a field trip?" asked Maria. "Do we get to go shopping and sightseeing and all that fun stuff?"

He looked back at her. "Listen, wherever we will go, we will never go shopping, the only sightseeing you'll be doing is from out of that window, and I am the only one allowed to have fun here. Not you. Understand?" he asked.

She looked teary eyed while Jeff comforted her.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "Someone needs to give him a good, swift kick in his _huevos_! Yeah, Melina taught me that. Ha."

-Back outside-

* * *

"All right, hypocrites, tonight's challenge is gonna be a simple one. See, we're in London, England! Home of punk rock, tea and crumpets, the Beatles, and most importantly, the infamous British killer, Jack the Ripper." he began.

"Killer?" asked Eve. "You mean, as in murderer?"

"No, I mean a rodeo clown, OF COURSE as in murderer!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, no need to get all attitudinal with me!" she replied.

"Anyway, as you all know, Jack the Ripper was a notorious killer, and his main target was women." he continued.

Eve, Lita, and Maria looked shocked.

"Well, thanks for telling us, dude, NOW we can sleep easier at night." announced Lita.

"You're welcome! Here's another interesting fact straight off of Wikipedia. Jack the Ripper murdered his victims by throat slashing, and abdominal mutilation." he said with a sick smile.

Maria whimpered in fear.

"You guys want to see some pictures of his victims?" he asked.

"NO!" they exclaimed.

"See, here's his first one. The throat was severed deeply by two cuts, the lower part of the abdomen was partly ripped open by a deep, jagged wound." he explained.

"Jericho, please!" cried Matt. "That's repulsive!"

"Nono, wait, it gets better! This next victim had her abdomen slashed entirely open, and her uterus had been removed." he read.

Edge gagged and turned green.

"Jericho, stop it!" cried Eve.

"And this one's the worst! The throat had been severed down to the spine, and the abdomen virtually emptied of its organs, and the heart was missing-" he continued while Edge began throwing up, and Jeff stepped up and slapped the laptop out of his hands.

"You need help." he concluded, going back to comfort a trembling Maria.

"Ok, well, now that you parasites know more about Jack the Ripper, here's your challenge for today. You guys have to catch the Ripper, who's somewhere around lurking the London streets. You'll have clues on how to find him, hidden in certain places." he explained.

"Wait, after all this killer commotion, I just realized that Punk's missing." announced Christian.

"Yeah, Punk was already caught by the killer because he decided to be a snoopy snoop snooper." he replied.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Evan: "You know, I'm not one to wish bad things on people, but it serves Punk right for being captured! Well, hope he doesn't get his abdomen ripped open or get his uterus taken out...oh, wait."

-Back outside-

* * *

Soon after that, the bus stopped at the Tower of London...

"Well, here's our first stop, the Tower of London!" announced Jericho. "Everybody, get out."

"Hey look, London dudes!" exclaimed Edge, seeing two guards standing there. "Hey, dudes, I'm Edge, how are ya?"

They said nothing.

"I SAID, I'm Edge, how are ya?" he demanded.

No reply.

"YOU DARE IGNORE EDGE?" he demanded.

"Dude, they don't talk." replied Matt.

"Ok, here's the first part of your challenge-" began Jericho.

*DING DING!*

"Oh, hey, whaddya know?" he asked.

"Isn't this kinda random to just sing outta nowhere?" asked Lita.

"Yeah, but who cares, SING, worms, SING!" he exclaimed.

"What's the tune for today, Ria?" asked Eve.

"One of my faves!" she exclaimed, playing 'Peanuts' by the Police on her ipod.

"Hey, can we form a punk rock band, you know, in homage to London and everything?" asked Christian.

"Whatevers." Jericho said, reading a newspaper.

Evan sang lead, while Lita played bass guitar, Jeff played lead guitar, Christian played 2nd guitar, Matt was the drummer, Eve and Maria were the dancers, and Edge just...played along.

Evan: "It's all a game, you're not the same, your famous name, the price of fame  
Oh no! Try to liberate me, I said oh no! Stay and irritate me, I said oh no! Try to elevate me, I said oh no! Just a fallen hero…

Don't wanna hear about the drugs you're taking  
Don't wanna read about the love you're making  
Don't wanna hear about the life you're faking  
Don't wanna read about the muck they're raking

You sang your song, for much too long, the songs they're wrong, the bread has gone  
Oh no! Try to liberate me, I said oh no! Stay and irritate me, I said oh no! Try to elevate me, I said oh no! Just a fallen hero…

Don't wanna hear about the drugs you're taking  
Don't wanna read about the love you're making  
Don't wanna hear about the life you're faking  
Don't wanna read about the muck they're raking

Interlude: Jeff was playing a wicked guitar solo, but Christian slid in and pretty much upstaged him with a wicked guitar solo of his own. Seeing Jeff glare at him, he slowly stopped.

It's all a game, you're not the same, your famous name, the price of fame  
Oh no! Try to liberate me, I said oh no! Stay and irritate me, I said oh no! Try to elevate me, I said oh no! Just a fallen hero (Oh, you're just a fallen hero)

Don't wanna hear about the drugs you're taking  
Don't wanna read about the love you're making  
Don't wanna hear about the life you're faking  
Don't wanna read about the muck they're raking

Don't wanna find out what you've been taking  
Don't wanna read about the love you're making  
Don't wanna hear about the life you're faking  
Don't wanna read about the muck they're raking

Don't wanna find out what you've been taking  
Don't wanna read about the love you're making  
Don't wanna hear about the life you're faking  
Don't wanna read about the muck they're raking

Peanuts! Peanuts…  
Peanuts!

Oh, no, no, Oh, no, no, Oh, no, no, Oh, no, no, Oh, no, no, Oh…"

After the song ended, Evan asked, "How was that?"

"You'll never beat my band Fozzy, I'll say that." Jericho said quickly. "Anyway, the first part of your challenge are as follows. You gotta strip these two dudes."

Silence.

"I'm serious."

"...Gross." Christian announced.

"Yeah, I don't want to strip these old dudes." Jeff agreed, wincing.

"Well, you gotta if you want to find your first clue as to where Jack the Ripper is! So, each team, pick a dude and STRIP THEM CLEAN!" he exclaimed. "I'll be taking embarrassing candid photos while I watch."

"Ok, Team, uh...wait, since we're all one team now, who's name are we gonna use?" asked Evan.

Christian raised his hand. "Ooh! Ooh! Can we uh, keep The Peep Force 4?" he asked.

"Sure!" Evan and Eve exclaimed.

"Aww, you guys are the best." he replied. "Wow, maybe things are better off without Punk. Don't tell him I said this."

"Isn't it?" Evan smiled.

"Ok, boys, enough with the Punk hating and let's strip this guy!" exclaimed Eve.

Evan and Christian stepped back while Eve was left with the guy.

"Ew, I don't wanna strip him!" she exclaimed.

With Team Misfits...

"I ain't touching him." announced Edge.

"I don't want to, either." agreed Jeff.

"Guys, we gotta if we want to get the lead. Besides, the sooner we beat them, the sooner we get the first class lounge back." Lita announced. "Which means you get your dumb chair back."

Edge lit up. "All right dude, I'll have to be forced to take your clothes off." he announced. "Don't try anything frisky."

"That sounds wrong in so many ways." announced Maria.

"Hey, we got Edge to do all the work, so I'm not complaining." replied Matt.

With Team Peep Force 4...

"Well, this is fun." Christian announced.

Their guard was stripped completely, except for his boxers.

"Where's the clue?" asked Eve.

"Well, uh, maybe they're in his boxers?" Evan asked slowly. "Who wants to look?"

Christian and Eve just looked grossed out at the guard.

"Just vote me off now." Christian replied.

With Team Misfits...

"Dudes, I don't wanna do this anymore." Edge announced, taking off a sock. "I've seen things from an old dude that I never want to see again."

Then, Maria picked up a paper that fell down. "Wait, here's the clue!" she exclaimed.

"Read it, babe." said Jeff.

"'Go to the tower where Anne Boleyn used to stay'." she read.

"Who?" Edge asked dully.

"Anne Boleyn was the Queen of England from 1533 to 1536 as the second wife of King Henry Vlll and 1st Marquess of Pembroke in her own right for-" Matt explained before he saw that the others already ran off. "I am never trusting Wikipedia again." he announced, following them.

With Team Peep Force 4...

"You look in his boxers." announced Christian.

"No, you look in his boxers." announced Evan.

"No, you look in his boxers." announced Christian.

"No, you look in his boxers." announced Evan.

Then, Eve noticed that Christian was wearing the guard's hat. She took it off of his head and saw the note inside!

"WOOHOO!" she cheered. "Guys, I found the clue!"

"Sweet-great job, Eve!" the boys replied.

"What's it say?" asked Evan.

"'Go to the tower where Anne Boleyn used to stay'." she read.

"Let's go, you guys, we're already falling behind!" Evan exclaimed, leading the way until he slammed into a building. "Ow."

Christian and Eve ran back and carried him.


	23. Ep 13, pt 2

Soon after that, Team Misfits were the first to reach the tower and headed up to Anne Boleyn's room...

"Wow, fancy." announced Edge. "Where's this Anne chick, anyway? Is she hot?"

"She lived back in the 1500's, Edge, she's not around anymore, if you had listened to me before." replied Matt.

"What?" he asked, not paying attention.

Matt slapped his forehead.

"Ok, quit it, guys, here's a note." Lita said. "Ok, it says that one member of the team has to be placed on this torture device in order to get the next clue."

"I vote Edge." Jeff announced.

"Me, too!" exclaimed Maria.

"Ditto." agreed Matt.

"Same." agreed Lita.

"I hate you guys." Edge muttered, glaring at them.

"Ok, I'm guessing we'll need a lookout just in case the killer finds us." announced Matt. "Maria, Little Brat, you two go."

"I have a name." Jeff said dully, crossing his arms.

"Hey, why do Jeff and I gotta be the lookouts?" asked Maria.

"So if Jack the Ripper does come, he'll be distracted with you guys." he replied. "You know, you'll be like bait for him."

"Thanks." Jeff said sarcastically.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Maria cried defensively. "Oh."

"C'mon, Ria, I won't let anyone hurt you." Jeff replied with a smile, leading her away. "You guys just let us know when you're done."

"Ok, Edge, onto the thing, let's roll." announced Lita.

He got himself onto the device, where his wrists and ankles were tied to a wheel of rope. "Whatever, let's get this over with so's I can get my chair back." he announced.

"Will you do the honors, Lita?" Matt asked with a smile.

"I'm gonna get a kick outta this." she smiled back, turning the wheel, so that Edge was being stretched and stretched.

"Ok, ok, ok-OW!" he screamed in pain, his eyes bugging out. "SHADARACH!"

"What was that, dude?" asked Matt with a laugh.

Back downstairs, Jeff and Maria were still keeping lookout for Jack the Ripper...

"Do you really think this Ripper guy is even real?" asked Jeff.

"I doubt it." agreed Maria. "I read on Wikipedia once that he was around like, back in the 1800s, so how could he possibly be alive now, right?"

"Hey, I read that on Wikipedia, too!" Jeff agreed, smiling.

"I know, it's great, right?" she agreed happily.

Then, they saw a shadow approach them.

They were quiet.

"W-Who's that?" asked Maria.

"Uh, probably just nobody." Jeff replied nervously.

Then, the tall man in an overcoat who attacked Punk approached them.

"Oh, crap." Jeff announced, giving up hope.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Ripper, sir? That's not you in there, is it?" Maria asked shakily. "I mean, you were alive like, over 100 years ago, so that's not you..."

He looked at them.

"...Right?" Maria squeaked. "I'll give you cookies!"

"Listen, dude, whoever the hell you are, just leave us alone, all right?" demanded Jeff. "I'm not afraid of you!"

Then, he whipped put his switchblade and aimed it towards them.

"Jeff, I don't want my throat slashed and my abdomen mutilated!" Maria cried, hiding behind him.

"...Me, neither." he finally replied, shielding her.

Back upstairs...

"AAH! (BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEPING BLEEP!)" Edge cursed, still being stretched to the limit, before the clue fell on top of him. "Ow."

"Nice!" Lita exclaimed, reading the clue. "'Head to the dining hall'. Well, that was simple enough, let's-"

_"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" _Jeff and Maria screamed from below.

"Oh crud, they're goners." announced Edge, holding his stomach. "It was nice knowing them."

"C'mon!" Lita exclaimed, searching for them while the guys followed her.

They got downstairs, only to find them missing.

"Damn it." she concluded.

"Wow, I didn't want to become an only child this way." announced Matt.

"Dude, stop it. Now, c'mon, we gotta keep looking." Lita replied, leading the way.

Meanwhile, Team Peep Force 4 arrived to the torture device next...

"Whoa, crazy room here." announced Eve.

"Totally. Hey, what's this thing?" asked Christian.

"I think it's some kinda torture device." replied Evan. "Yeah, says here that one of us has to use it in order to get the next clue."

"I'll do it!" volunteered Eve.

"Eve, you sure?" asked Christian. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to get hurt...or anything." he blushed a bit.

She chuckled. "I'll be fine! I've been taking dance classes for years, look how flexible I am!" she exclaimed, bending back so that her feet were touching the back of her head.

"Whoa." the boys said in surprise.

"And look at this!" she exclaimed, doing a complicated yoga pose.

"Whoa." they replied again.

"And THIS!" she exclaimed, mocking a pretzel.

"Ok, ok, Eve, you get the job." Christian replied.

Soon enough, she got her wrists and ankles tied to the device, while Evan took charge of the wheel. "Ready, Eve?" he asked.

"Yep!" she replied.

"EEP!" cried Christian.

They both looked at him.

"It looked painful." he replied.

"Dude. I didn't turn the wheel yet." replied Evan.

"Oh. Sorry." he replied. "Go on."

Evan slowly turned the wheel inch by inch, while with each turn, Christian let out a yelp. Then, Evan just stopped and looked at him.

"I'll be quiet now." he replied. "So, I wonder how the killer caught Punk."

Then, Evan kept turning the wheel while he said, "From this point on, we really are better off without him and his dictatorous ways. All he wants is to step all over us so's that he and his ego can win first place, but I doubt that'll happen."

"Wow, I've never seen this side of you, Evan!" exclaimed Eve. "You're usually so nice."

"Yeah, well, I guess after Mickie's elimination, I just thought I should step up for her and you know, try to be a better leader than Punk could ever be." he replied, while the note fell on top of her.

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Awesome, let's see what it says." Christian replied, reading it. "'Head to the dining hall.' Sweet, let's move!"

The guys ran off, but when Eve was still getting out of the device, she cried, "Guys, WAIT-MMM!" before the killer covered her mouth and took her away.

"Eve?" called Christian. "Oh, crap, she's gone!"

"The killer must've gotten her." replied Evan.

"We gotta go back and save her, then!" he cried.

"Dude, it's too late, we have to keep going!" he replied.

Meanwhile, Team Misfits found the banquet hall first...

"Ooh, food room!" cried Edge. "Do they have any capon? See, that's chicken. I'm so smart."

"Nice fantasy, dude." replied Matt.

"Ok, we need another lookout just in case the killer comes, and I totally nominate Edge." announced Lita.

"HEY!" he cried in defense.

"I second that. Bye bye!" Matt exclaimed, shoving him out.

"Well, I-well, fine. I could take down that creepy old jerkface any day of the week!" Edge cried to himself. "Now, while I wait, where's that Playboy I had in my pocket?"

While he searched his pockets, a tall shadow approached him.

"Look, dude, this Playboy's MINE, all right-Oh." he said, looking up at the killer. "I expected that you'd show up. Just for the record, I'm Edge, the Rated R Superstar. You may have caught the others, but you ain't catching me, you know why?"

Then, the killer rolled his eyes took out his switchblade, and carried Edge over his shoulder. "HEY! HEY! PUT ME DOWN! I didn't even get to tell you WHY!"

Back in the room, Lita and Matt searched through the tables that were filled with food, until Matt found a treasure box with the clue inside! "Sweet!" he exclaimed.

"You found the clue?" asked Lita.

"Yeah. Ok, it says, 'Look in a place where the Ripper did a lot of murdering.' " he read. "You know where that could be?"

"Yeah, I think so. Let's get Edge and-" Lita began, finding that he was gone. "He's gone."

"Should we care?" asked Matt.

"I don't." she replied.

"Good, now, let's go." he replied while they headed out of the tower.

Soon after they left, Christian and Evan arrived to the banquet hall...

"Ok, I have no idea where the other team is, but we gotta move." replied Christian.

"Here's the note!" Evan exclaimed, finding it. "'Head back to the bus, and fast. Your lives are depending on it'." he read.

"Well, that can't be good." Christian replied. "Let's go!" he cried while the two speeded off, and Evan ended up tripping them both down the stairs.

"OW-OOF-OW-OOF-OW!" they cried, landing on the ground.

While Christian looked at him, Evan replied, "Sorry. I have a bad history with stairs."

"I can see that. Now let's go, our lives are depending on it!" he cried, dragging him along.

Somewhere in town, Lita and Matt were out searching for where the killer could be...

"Where out here could he be?" asked Matt. "Every store and building around here's either shut down or closed."

"I read on Wikipedia that the Ripper did all his murdering somewhere in the Whitechapel district in London, which is somewhere around here." replied Lita.

"I love Wikipedia, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, very useful." she agreed, then hearing a building playing loud music. "Hey, hear that?"

"Yeah, sounds like it's coming from over there. C'mon." Matt replied, leading the way.

They entered the building, which happened to be a punk rock nightclub, playing loud music.

"Cool..." the two announced, trance like.

Matt shook it off. "Never mind, we gotta look for the killer." he said.

Then, 'London Calling' by the Clash came on the stereo.

"Hey, 'London Calling'! I love this song!" Lita exclaimed.

"Want to dance, little lady?" asked a guy.

Before she could reply, Matt took her arm and told him, "Back off, dude, we got stuff to do."

"Hey. Look over there in that corner." she said.

"Yeah. Who is that?" he asked.

Then, the person turned around and smirked towards them.

"Oh, no. Not you again." Matt replied, glaring back at him.

Back on the bus...

"Whoo. We made it." announced Christian. "Ok, now what's so bad in here that our lives depended on it?"

Then, before anyone could answer, the killer returned and grabbed Evan, tossing him in the glass driver's booth and locking him inside.

"HEY! CHRISTIAN!" he called.

"Evan!" he cried back. "Dude, whoever you are, just let him go!"

Then, the killer whipped out his switchblade and swung towards him, while he ducked and kicked the killer towards a window. After that, the killer let out his pack of guard dogs, which all charged towards Christian. Before they could attack, he whipped out a bag of Chef Big Show's Yummy Bars, and took one out. "I knew these would make great food for dogs." he said, while the dogs stopped in their tracks and waited for him to hand them the treats. He smiled and tossed them out the door, where all the dogs trotted outside to fetch them. "Now, you." Christian said, turning towards the killer. The killer leaped up and charged towards Christian, until Christian whipped out a sack and tossed it over him, finally trapping him down! "Booyah." he announced.

From the booth, Evan smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

Later, everyone who was captured returned to the plane to see who the killer really was...

"This is jank!" cried Punk. "I was out for the whole damned episode!"

"Well, good work, you two. Yeah, I hate complimenting you people." announced Jericho.

"Well, let's just see once and for all who's been behind all this crap." Evan announced, taking off the killer's hat, revealing...

"Oh, my God, it's Ringo Starr!" everyone exclaimed at the same time.

"Heh?" Christian asked, taking off the Ringo mask to reveal...

"CENA?" they exclaimed.

"What the hell happened to you?" Jeff asked in shock.

He looked totally malnourished, turned an odd green color and growled.

"Have you been here all this time, dude?" asked Edge.

He growled and snatched the chicken leg out of his hand and started violently munching it, while the others looked totally freaked.

"MY CHICKEN! Damn you, Cena!" Edge cried.

"Uh, shouldn't we get him some help?" asked Eve.

"No, see, I promised Cena here that he'd be able to participate in the game again if he didn't get caught. But since he did get caught-*whistles*

Soon after that...

"GET OUT!" Show cried, tossing Cena out of the plane.

"Hey, guys." Lita greeted, finally joining the others along with Matt.

"Well, where the hell have you two been?" demanded Edge.

"We brought an unwanted guest." Matt said dully, while Randy Orton arrived on the plane. "Hey, all. Miss me?" he asked with a smirk.

"RANDY?" they all demanded in shock.

"Hey, Rand!" Edge cheered happily.

"We just got rid of you, like 5 episodes ago!" cried Christian.

"I know." he smiled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Christian: "You've got to be freaking kidding me. Seriously, this is a joke, right? Crap, nobody's answering me."

-Back outside-

* * *

"See, Randy was the other 'criminal' I was hoping you'd find, and since Team Misfits found him, they win today's challenge!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WOOHOO!" they cheered.

"I GET MY ROOM AGAIN!" exclaimed Edge.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on!" exclaimed Evan. "I thought that the team who found the killer was the one who won!"

"Yeah, Evan and I captured Cena, not them!" agreed Christian.

"Well, I really wanted you to find Randy, so THEY win. Again." replied Jericho. "And since the teams are all mismatched, Randy will be on Team Peep Force 4 or should I say, 5, for now."

Christian, Eve, Evan, and Punk glared at him, while he smirked and waved. "Hey, teammates. Long time, no see." he greeted.

"Ok, I'll deal with you in a second. But YOU!" Punk exclaimed to Evan.

"What?" he demanded.

"While we were all captured, we saw all the rest of the action on camera. So, you really think I'm a dictatorous leader, huh? You think me and my ego'll get in the way, HUH?" he asked.

"That's right!" he replied. "I'm not gonna take you bossing us around anymore, right, guys?"

"Uh, sure." Eve said quickly.

"What he said." Christian replied.

"Fine. Everyone has their own opinions. I don't care." Punk replied, walking off.

"Well, he took that very well, I'd say." announced Randy.

"Don't talk to us, dude." Christian replied while they all headed off.

Randy just chuckled.

Later, before it was voting time, Randy approached Eve. "Uh, hey, Eve. Long time, no see." he repeated.

She glared at him. "Look, I don't know how you got yourself back on the show so quick, but don't expect us to throw you a housewarming party." she replied.

"Ouch. That hurt." he chuckled. "Hey, just for the record, you aren't gonna vote me back off, are you?"

"Why would I tell you?" she demanded. "I could if I wanted to."

"Do you want to?" he asked, looking into her eyes and half smiling.

She was stunned by his 'cute guy' act for a moment. "Uh, uh...why do you even care?" she asked.

"I do." he said, tilting her head up to meet him. "Look, Eve. I really suggest you vote off Evan."

"Why would I want to do that? He's one of the most valuable members of the team!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, I see him as the weakest link. Would you really want to keep someone who constantly trips and falls and pulls an Urkel whenever he's around any of you guys?" he asked, still gazing into her eyes.

"...I dunno..." she mumbled, trance like.

"How about this. You vote off Evan, or else Christian'll have to pay for it." he replied.

"What? Leave him outta this!" she cried. "I won't let you hurt him!"

"And I won't hurt him. If you vote off Evan instead. Remember what I'm capable of, Eve. Make the right decision." he replied, walking away, leaving Eve totally stunned.

At the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, Team Peep Force 5, welcome back!" exclaimed Jericho. "Now, you guys have all tabulated your votes, and here are the results. Eve, Christian, Punk, you're safe!" he said, throwing them bags of peanuts.

"Huh?" Evan asked, confused that he was still on the chopping block.

"And now Evan and Randy. One of you stays and one of you leaves. The person leaving is..."

Evan looked nervous, Eve looked guilty, and Randy smiled.

"Evan?" Jericho announced, surprised.

"What?" he asked, just as surprised. "Who?"

Punk smirked and waved at him. "Hey, dude, I don't take insults lightly. I'm sorry." he replied.

Randy just leaned back and relaxed, while Eve sighed.

"Well, it was fun being here." Evan announced, while Jericho handed him a parachute. "And at least I'll finally be with Mickie again! Eve, Christian, remember what I told you guys about Punk, too." he said before leaping off. While he leaped off, Cena still managed to cling onto the plane wheel, and growled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "Hey, Evan was a good guy, but I know I can make it further in this competition without him demeaning me. Anyone else pulls that crap, they're next."

Eve: "God, what have I done? Evan didn't deserve to leave, but I couldn't let Randy hurt Christian, either! Oh, why does Randy even have to be back here?"

Randy: " *talks to Michelle on phone* Yeah, Michelle, I'm back, and trust me, I'll do whatever I have to do in order to win. You won't mind if I have to put on the dimple act for the girls, do you? Cause you know you're my number one babe." Michelle:_ "I know. Just win for me, Rand. And take out whoever you have to in order to do so. I love you." _Randy: "I love you too, Chelle. *hangs up* Yep, those guys don't know what's coming to them next, hahahaha!"


	24. Episode 14: Greece

Total WWE, World Tour: Greek Week!

Episode #14

"What's new, parasites? It's Y2J Chris Jericho here with another crazy episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we traveled to London, England, where we did some major killer hunting! Evan was fed up with Punk's dictator-ness, and decided to step up and be the leader of his team once Punk mysteriously disappeared! After finding countless clues, Jack the Ripper's spree began. Jeff and Maria, followed by Edge were his first two victims while they were off keeping lookout, followed by Eve, leaving Christian, Evan, Matt, and Lita left to finish the job. Matt and Lita headed out to a Punk nightclub, where they found a 'criminal' of their own, the Viper Randy Orton. Meanwhile, Evan was nearly next for the killer, until Christian stepped up and faced the killer in a showdown, which resulted in Christian finally capturing the guy. And guess who that could be? Yep, Cena. Since he failed to do his job, he was kicked out, so we probably won't have to see him anymore. But since I wanted those parasites to find Randy, Team Misfits won again for about the 4,567th time! In the elimination ceremony, Randy was able to 'persuade' Eve into not voting him off, while Punk was steaming mad at Evan for badmouthing him before. The result: Evan was shockingly eliminated next, but had to warn his teammates about Punk before he left. This week, will Punk continue on his dastardly deeds? What trouble will Randy get somebody into next? And will anybody be able to survive with him? Find out next on Total...WWE, World Tour!

* * *

In the Playas Lounge, Team Misfits were enjoying their victory once more...

"WOO, WOO, WOO,-OW!" Edge cried once Matt tipped over his chair, sending him to the floor.

"Must you always do that while you're sitting in that thing?" he asked, annoyed.

"Uh, let me see-YES!" he replied, not moving from his place on the shag carpet. "I love my special chair, and I love winning. You know, at first when I heard that I was placed on a team with you people, I was ready to tear someone's hair out, but now...it's not so bad."

Matt kicked some carpet hairs in his face.

"PFFT! Ok, screw what I just said, I still hate all of you!" he exclaimed.

"As much as I'd hate to agree, Edge is right." replied Maria, sharing a drink with Jeff. "Us all being on a team together was like a recipe for disaster, but seeing how many challenges we've won..."

"And the fact that none of us have gotten eliminated since the beginning..." added Jeff.

"Maybe we really are the best team." she finished back, giving him a kiss.

"And that fact just stuns me to high heaven, but hey, we just gotta keep up our streak and maybe we'll all make it to the finals." agreed Lita.

"I can guarantee that with Randy back on the other team." continued Matt. "I almost feel sorry for them."

While they chuckled, Maria said, "How about I get us some drinks for us to celebrate with?"

"Sure-ok-I WANT A SLURPEE!" they all called while she headed off.

What she didn't know was that Randy was by their door, listening in on their conversation, and made sure Maria didn't see him while she headed off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Well, well, well, they feel sorry for my team, do they? That team does seem a little too cozy around here, and maybe I should get them to reconsider being so comfy while I'm back here."

-Back outside-

* * *

In the losers section, Christian was playing his gameboy DS, while Eve nervously looked out the window.

"Damn it, how the hell could you do that?" he demanded.

"WHAT?" Eve exclaimed, surprised.

"No, Mario on my video game. How could he miss that jump and make me lose the level?" he asked.

She sighed in relief. "Oh."

"Hey, Eve? Are you all right?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

"I mean, ever since Evan's elimination, you've been really quiet lately. Is there something you want to talk about?" he asked.

Before she replied, she remembered what Randy told her the time before: _"How about this. You vote off Evan, or else Christian'll have to pay for it." he replied._

_"What? Leave him outta this!" she cried. "I won't let you hurt him!"_

_"And I won't hurt him. If you vote off Evan instead. Remember what I'm capable of, Eve. Make the right decision." he replied, walking away, leaving Eve totally stunned._

_Back to today..._

"Eve?" Christian asked, concerned.

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just still shocked that Evan's out of the competition already. I just thought he'd make it a lot further." she replied.

"Yeah, I know. What surprises me is that Evan got three votes. I'm guessing Randy and Punk voted for him, but it was only you, me, and him who could decided the third vote." he explained.

She looked even more guilty.

"You didn't vote for him, did you?" he asked. "Cause I sure didn't."

"No, no way! He was one of the smartest members of the team, I would never want to do that." she replied.

Then, they saw Randy walk past them, while he glanced at Eve.

"Maybe Randy rigged the votes somehow in order to keep himself safe." she said, loud enough for him to hear.

He smirked and walked ahead, while Eve kept glancing towards him.

"Maybe, knowing him." Christian agreed.

Meanwhile, Maria went off to find drinks, when she bumped into Randy.

"Oh, hey, Ria! How are you?" he asked with a smile.

"Leave me alone, Randy." she replied, trying to get past him. "Please move."

"You know, it's very rude to try to ignore someone while they're speaking to you." he replied.

"I really don't care for what you have to say." she replied, not looking at him. "Now, please leave me alone so I can get some drinks for my team."

"Say, you and that team of yours seem pretty unstoppable, huh? Seems like you've only lost about 2 or 3 challenges overall." he continued.

"We're better than you and whatever the hell you're gonna do to your poor team." she replied. "I really do feel sorry for them."

"Why? You guys should be afraid once I become the best damned team leader ever and maybe start crushing your team down." he replied.

"Whatever, I really don't care." she replied, trying to get by.

"But, never mind the competition, how are you doing, Ria? You and Jeff having a great life together?" he asked.

She whipped around. "Look, if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss my personal life with you, ok? Thanks." she replied.

"Ria, wait, I have something to tell you!" he cried, grabbing her wrist and pulling him closer to him, wrapping her in a kiss!

Shocked, Maria immediately struggled and finally got away from him. "...Why the HELL did you do that?" she freaked, punching him.

"I just wanted to say that I liked you. See you around." he replied, walking off. "Oh, and one more thing. If you tell Jeff that we kissed, I'll hurt the both of you. You remember how I've treated you guys in the past, and I'm sure neither of you'd want a repeat of that. Have a nice day."

Shocked, Maria shakily glared in his direction.

Somewhere else, Randy walked ahead, while Punk was there and said, "Wow, Orton, I didn't know you'd stoop that low, I mean, really!"

He looked back at him.

"Nice to know you're still the same heartless jerk that you were before you left." he finished with a smirk. "Bravo."

"How much of that did you see?" he asked.

"Enough to get everyone here to turn against you." he replied.

"Punk, I don't want you telling anybody about what just happened, do you hear me?" Randy demanded.

"I dunno. You DID just kiss my ex girlfriend, who's still one of my best friends and I really don't tolerate anyone taking advantage of her." he replied.

Randy looked at him.

"But don't worry about me, I don't really have anyone to tell. I'm a loner now that Kelly's out." he replied. "BUT, I do request a favor of you."

He sighed. "What?"

"I won't tell anyone, if you let me in an alliance with you."

"Oh, really?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, looking back, you've made it really far in the competition because of your alliances, and I was thinking that you and I together could be pretty unstoppable. I really just want to crush the other team." he explained.

"Hmm...sounds pretty good. I'll keep that in mind and let you know later." he said, heading off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "Like HELL I'd ever want to really be in an alliance with that snake! What I'm doing right now is just a plan to get rid of him, and hopefully it'll work so that I can remain the leader of my team. And for the record, I'm NOT a dictator, thank you very much."

-Back outside-

* * *

A stunned Maria returned to the Playa's Lounge, without any drinks.

"Hey, Ria, what's been keeping you, babe?" asked Jeff. "Where's the drinks?"

"Oh, uh, there weren't any." she replied quickly.

"But I thought-" began Lita.

_"Attention, parasites, please meet me in the front of the plane for your next challenge!"_ Jericho exclaimed from the intercom.

"Yay! Never mind, let's get going!" Maria exclaimed, heading out first.

A few minutes later, the gang met up with Jericho.

"Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy-" Jericho exclaimed.

"Dude, stop dreaming about boys and tell us what the hell's going on!" cried Christian.

"I'm just so damned excited for today's challenge!" he exclaimed.

"You're gonna roast us and feed us to a pack of groundhogs?" asked Edge.

Everyone looked at him.

"You're a moron. Anyways, today, you guys are gonna compete in the Olympics!" he exclaimed.

"Cool!-Seriously?" they said at the same time.

"Yeah, we're gonna be in Rome, and-"

"Jericho, dude, the Olympics originated in Greece, not Rome." corrected Matt.

"You mean, we're not headed to Rome?" he asked, confused.

"You tell me." he replied.

He was quiet. "Yo, Billy, Skippy, GET OVER HERE!" he cried.

Two interns joined him.

"You idiots gave me the wrong information about this place and made me look stupid in front of these hypocrites! Billy, get the hell outta my plane..." Jericho cried, kicking him out. "And Skippy, get your ass in gear and learn more fun facts about Greece, not Rome, you moron! Not GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!"

The poor intern ran away, while the contestants looked at Jericho in shock.

"Wow, I'm surprised these guys don't smother you in your sleep after the way you treat them." announced Jeff.

"...So, parasites." he said calmly.

From below, nobody noticed that zombie Cena was trying to peek in through the floorboard, but Jericho stepped on it, sending him back down to where he came from.

"Oh, yay, we're here! Everyone OUT!" he announced.

Soon after they leaped out of the plane, they landed in the acropolis, which was in Greece...

"Ok, worms, here's the dealio. You're gonna compete in three different events, each trying to earn a gold medal for your team. The team who ends up with the most medals in the end, wins! Now, each event'll be one on one, because Team Peep Force 4 only has 4 members and Team Misfits have 5. So without further ado, let's begin the FUN!" he exclaimed before tooting a horn.

"Ooh, you're so horny, Jericho." Christian joked, while the others laughed.

"Oh. Oh, just…stop." he replied, glaring at him. "Now, let's get to the first event!"

Soon after that, they arrived to a maze of pillars.

"Ok, the first event is hunting for the gold medal in this maze here, but the catch is that the maze and the medal is guarded by an Erymanthian Boar, one of the most dangerous boars in ancient Greece." he explained.

"Uh, if the boar is so ancient, how could it possibly still be around today-" began Matt.

"Dude, stop correcting me, all right? I'm the host here, whatever I say is right!" he snapped. "Now, I'll pick who gets to participate in this event, and it will be...Randy vs...Maria."

She gasped. "What?" she asked.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "Oh, leave it to the jerkface to put me up against the guy who kissed me and threatened to hurt Jeff and I! God, I just want to hurt Jericho! He's lucky I'm too nice to do so."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ria, you all right?" Jeff asked.

"Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine." she replied shakily.

"Don't be afraid. It's a competition, it's not like he'll hurt you or anything. At least, he better not, anyway." he replied.

"Come on, Ria, we wouldn't want to keep the game waiting!" called Orton.

"I'll be fine." she told Jeff.

"The rest of you parasites, come on! Chef Big Show'll watch these two, the rest of you are coming with me to the next event, now MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!" exclaimed Jericho.

"SHUT UP, ALREADY!" Edge yelled back.

"Kick his ass, Red." Lita told her.

"Yeah, win one for us, babe." Jeff told her before heading off. "I love you." he said after kissing her.

"I love you, too." she replied shakily, still worrying what Randy would do to him.

After she started searching, Randy smirked and purposely searched next to her. "So, Ria, nobody knows what went on before, right?" he asked.

"You'll never break Jeff and I up, no matter what you do." she replied angrily, rushing away from him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a medal to find for my team."

"Hey, can you guys help to fix my costume when you catch a break?" Show asked, wearing a Greek costume and carrying a harp.

They looked back at him, and continued searching.

Meanwhile, Jericho took everyone else to their next event...

"All right, parasites! While they're off escaping wild boars, you guys are gonna be competing in what we do best, a wrestling contest!" he exclaimed.

"YEAH!-WHOO!" they all cheered.

"Now, the rules are straightforward, whoever gets pinned is out, and the last person standing is the winner!" he explained.

"Hence a 'Last Man Standing' match." corrected Matt.

"STOP CORRECTING ME! I'm not dumb!" he complained.

"I...oh, I'll just keep it to myself." he replied with a smile.

"Ok, now we'll need to save two people for the last event, so let's have a Handicapped match in the mix, too. Edge, Matt, and Jeff from Team Misfits, vs. Christian and Punk from Team Peep Force 4! WHOO!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I'm the Ultimate Opportunist, AKA, the strongest member of the team, so let me win this since neither of you could." announced Edge.

"In your dreams, dude. In your dreams." replied Jeff.

"Like you could do any better!" he argued.

"Hey! Don't demean him like that!" exclaimed Matt.

"Whoa, you're actually standing up for me?" Jeff asked, shocked.

"No, I'M the only one allowed to demean him!" he continued.

Jeff rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile...

"You ready, guys?" asked Eve. "I know there's only two of you, but I know you can still beat em!"

"Yeah. I can." Punk replied, heading into the ring.

"What's with him all of a sudden?" demanded Christian. "Evan really was right when he warned us about him."

Eve nodded silently, still thinking about Randy's warning.

Soon after that, the match began and the bell rang!

"Ok, let the Edgemeister handle things first-OOF!" Edge cried, stepping into the ring just in time for Christian to send a huge belly bump to him, sending him flying out of the ring. "CURSES...!" he shouted.

"Sorry, man!" he exclaimed. "I'll buy you a beer later!"

"NOOO, I wanted to hurt Edge!" Matt cried, before sending a Side Effect to Christian.

"OW!" he cried in pain. "He's on YOUR team, though."

"So? I still want to kick his ass." he replied.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Punk were fighting one another.

"So, Punk, I heard that you're giving your team a hard time, man." he told him, while holding him in a headlock.

Punk countered and held him in a half nelson. "Yeah, they just can't stand the fact that I'm a good leader." he replied. "So, how's things with you and Maria?"

Jeff countered and replied, "Things are going great, why?"

"No, just wondering. Just make sure you two don't keep any secrets from one another and you know, stay faithful to each other." he replied, countering him back. "I don't want you guys to end up like how Kelly and I almost did."

"Uhh...thanks, I guess?" he said, confused.

Then, Edge flew back in the ring from out of nowhere and bodyslammed the two down! "The Sandman's coming!"

"AAH!-" *CRASH!* the boys cried.

After that, the action started heating up. Edge sped towards Christian..."Hate to do this, dude, but you're goin down."...and was about to Spear him before Christian countered and finished him with the Killswitch, sending Edge faceplanting into the ground. "Sorry, man. I'll buy you two beers, how about that?" he asked before both Matt and Jeff teamed up to attack Christian with a Poetry in Motion, leaving him out next.

"Dude, I wanted to take him out!" cried Matt.

"Well, you can't always have what you want!" Jeff argued, shoving him.

"I'm the LAST person you should be telling this stuff to!" Matt replied, shoving him back.

Then, Jeff attacked Matt with a Twist of Fate, before climbing up a ringpost to finish with a Swanton Bomb, but when he leaped off, Matt rolled out of the way, just in time for Jeff to take the punishment instead. Before Matt could finish him off, Punk came from behind, lifted him up on his shoulders, and attacked with a GTS, dropping Matt on top of Jeff, and pinning them for the three count!

"1..2..3..and Punk and Team Peep Force 4 win the first event for today!" announced Jericho. "And since this was a crazy match, you win two gold medals."

"Oh, yay." Punk casually wore the medals around his neck and told the others. "Living proof that I'm special." he announced.

Back in the ruins, Big Show was munching on some Twinkies and was napping, while Maria and Randy were still searching for the medal...

The two were searching, until they bumped into one another once again.

"Hi, Maria. Funny how we keep meeting up in these places, huh?" asked Randy.

"Yeah, hilarious, now leave me alone." she replied, still looking.

"Ria, why do you gotta be so harsh to me all the time? I know we haven't spoken much, but couldn't we at least be friends?" he asked.

She stopped and looked at him. "Friends? You mean, after you constantly terrorize me and all my friends, which, you should be grateful you're not in jail for, you live to torment the one guy who really does care about me, and threaten to make our lives a living hell. How the hell do you expect me to be friends with someone like you?" she demanded.

He chuckled. "Well, like it or not, Maria. I'm back and I'm here to stay." he announced.

*DING DING!* "Hey, parasites! It's singing time, WHOO! But this is all Randy's song, cause he's back and all. So Randy, take it away." Jericho announced.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, while Unwritten Law's 'Save Me' came on.

"Had a bad day, don't talk to me, gonna ride this out,  
My little black heart, breaks apart, with your big mouth.  
And I'm sick of my sickness, don't touch me, you'll get this.  
I'm useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me…

You can't save me, you can't change me, well I'm waiting for my wakeup call, and everything, everything's my fault.

Went to the doctor, and I asked her, to make this stop. (whoa)  
Got medication, a new addiction, f-ing thanks a lot.  
I had to relapse, I'm bad at rehabs, it ruins everything. (whoa)  
So point your finger, at the singer, he's in the pharmacy.

You can't save me, you can't change me, well I'm waiting for my wake up call, and everything's my fault, you can't save me, you can't blame me, well I'm waiting here to take a fall, and everything, and everything's my fault.

And I'm a death threat haven't slept yet, baby why the wake up call  
I'm the bad boy tell the tabloids, everything's my fault.  
Whoa whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,  
Whoa Whoa whoa everything's my fault,  
everything's my fault.

I went to heaven, but couldn't get in, for what I have done. I said please take me, they said you're crazy, you had too much fun...

You can't save me, you can't change me, well I'm waiting for my wake up call, and everything's my fault, you can't save me, you can't blame me, well I'm waiting here to take a fall, and everything, everything's my fault…

You can't save me, you can't change me, you can't save me, you can't change me, you can't save me, you can't change me,(everything's my fault) you can't save me, you can't change me,

Everything's my fault."

While the song ended, the others overheard everything...

"Wow, he has a better singing voice than I thought." announced Edge.

"Yeah, too bad he uses it to scream incoherent words at innocent people." added Christian.

"Inco-wha?" asked Edge. "Big word, dude."

"I know." he replied.

"See? Get the point, I'm here to stay in this competition, and nobody can stop me." Randy told Maria.

"Oh? How about him?" she asked, seeing the boar (really a fancied up bear) charge towards him.

"Oh, dammit, I thought my animal problem was finished." he replied before the boar ambushed him and began beating the crap outta him. "OW! DAMN IT!" he cried.

While the boar was distracted, Maria noticed that the gold medal was around its neck. She flipped over Randy and the boar, leaped onto its back, and easily ripped the medal off of its neck, winning the challenge! "Yes!" she cheered, leaping off to join the others.

"And Maria and Team Misfits win the second event!" announced Jericho.

"WHOOHOO!-great job!" her team congratulated her.

Meanwhile, the boar was finished with Randy, while he, mangled and bruised, saw the victory. "Damn it." he muttered, then seeing Jeff hug Maria.

"Great job, Ria, I knew you could do it." he told her.

"Thanks, Enigma!" she replied, before seeing Randy glaring at her and silently slashing towards his neck, as if to say, 'Tell him anything or you're both finished!'

Later...

"Ok, worms, Team Peep Force 4 is leading at the moment with 2 medals to 1, but things could change in the final event, which is a hurdles race! WOO!" exclaimed Jericho. "So here, the rules are easy, leap over the hurdles and make it to the finish line. If Team Peep Force 4 wins this, they win for the day. If Team Misfits win, we go for a tiebreaker. And Eve, Lita, being the only two not to compete yet, this event's all yours."

Lita glared at Eve and said, "I can handle the heat. I doubt you can, Chica."

"Oh, bite me, Emo!" Eve snapped back.

"Girls, am I gonna have to split you up again?" asked Matt.

"NO!" they both snapped.

"Ok." he replied, backing away.

Soon after that, the girls were all set in front of each team's hurdles. "Ok, ladies, ready...set...MAMBO!" announced Jericho.

"You can do it, Eve!" called Christian.

"Don't make us lose!" called Punk.

"What the hell, dude?" he demanded.

"I'm just motivating my teammate like any good leader could do." he replied.

"Ugh." Christian scoffed.

Randy chuckled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Wow, Punk got on Christian's bad side, something I was hoping to do. Maybe this alliance won't be so bad."

-Back outside-

* * *

Lita and Eve were speeding through the hurdles and were halfway to the finish line.

"Hey, LI? Check out what I can do!" Eve exclaimed, doing a barrage of flexible moves over each hurdle.

"Yeah, I've seen dogs do better moves than that." she replied. "Watch and learn." she said, doing perfect backflips over each hurdle on her side.

Eve growled and kept on showing off her moves, until she didn't see where she was going when she bumped her head onto the second to last hurdle. "OW!" she cried.

"HAHAHAHA!" Lita laughed, easily breezing through the last few hurdles, crossing the finish line!

"WHOO!-Yeah, Lita!" her team cheered, while Eve glared at her.

"And with that, both teams are tied at the moment with two gold medals each!" exclaimed Jericho. "And now I'm glad to say that we're headed into tiebreaker mode, and boy, what a fun tiebreaker this will be."

Later...

"All right, worms, the tiebreaker will involve two of you parasites wearing Icarus wings and flying up to grab the last medal from up there in the air." he explained.

"Sounds fun." announced Christian.

"The catch, is that both competitors have to wear these authentic Spartan costumes, hahaha!" he laughed, holding up two costumes.

"Do we get to pick who goes?" asked Eve.

"Nope, I'm the host, I make the decisions. And let's have Punk vs. Jeff for the tiebreaker, shall we?" he asked.

"Aw, crap, I gotta wear that thing?" Jeff demanded.

Matt chuckled, while Edge replied, "Don't be ascared, bird boy. The feathers won't hurt you!"

"Shut up!" he complained.

"Don't listen to em, dude." replied Lita.

"Yeah, I think you'd look super hot in it." Maria smiled.

"Oh, uh, well then." he mustered a smile.

Meanwhile...

"I don't wanna wear that!" cried Punk.

"Why not, dude, you want to be a good leader so bad, right?" demanded Christian.

"Yeah, and a good leader always stands up for the team. So don't be a chicken and back out." added Eve.

He glared at them and grumbled something while he headed off.

Soon after that, Jeff and Punk returned, wearing the Spartan costumes, along with the wings.

"Nice skirts, dudes!" called Matt.

Jeff looked miserable, while Edge approached him with a camera, but before he started taking pictures, Jeff punched the camera in his face, knocking Edge out.

"Ok, parasites, on your marks..." began Jericho.

Punk looked at Randy, and broke into a smile. "Uh, before we begin, I'd just like to say something." he said.

"WHAAAT?" demanded Jericho.

"Well, earlier today, I saw something I probably shouldn't have seen..." he began.

"Punk, no. Shut up!" muttered Randy.

"...but hey, I'm horrible at keeping secrets, so I might as well just spill it." he continued.

Randy leaped up and covered Punk's mouth. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

"I SAW RANDY KISS MARIA!" he shouted.

"Ooh, BOMBSHELL! I gotta hear this!" exclaimed Jericho.

Maria gasped in shock, while Randy rolled his eyes and joined his team, and Jeff was speechless. He grabbed Punk by the collar and demanded, "What the hell did you just say?"

"Randy kissed Maria and I saw it all. Better go confront him instead." he replied.

Before confronting Randy, he approached a devastated Maria. "Is this true? Did he do that to you?" he asked.

Tears formed in her eyes. "Yeah. But listen, he kissed me, I didn't kiss him, and he threatened to hurt the both of us if I didn't tell you, Jeff, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed quickly. "Don't hate me for this, please!"

"Hey, hey, shh." he said calmly, brushing her hair back. "Skittle, I'm not mad at you, it's ok."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah! I believe you. It's his fault, not yours. And because of what he did, I'm gonna kill him." he said, glaring towards Randy.

"Oh, like I'm afraid of Bird Boy over here-OOF!" Randy cried before Jeff tackled him down and started beating the crap outta him! "HELP! RESTRAIN HIM! RESTRAIN HIM BEFORE I KILL HIM!" Randy screamed.

"And back to the contest, on your marks, get set, GO!" Jericho exclaimed quickly.

Punk quickly sped off, while Jeff's team had to pry him away from Randy. "Son of a BITCH!" he shouted angrily. "If you EVER put your hands on Maria again-"

"Jeff, drop it for now, the race already started!" exclaimed Lita.

"Yeah, if we lose this thing because of you, you're eliminated next!" cried Matt.

"Fine." he replied, speeding ahead into the race, trying to catch up to Punk.

Punk was ahead on the platform, and saw the medal in his reach. "YES! VICTORY!" he cried, leaping up to grab the medal, but missed since his wings started falling apart. "Oh, crap." he said before crashing to the ground.

Jeff sped towards the medal and leaped off of the platform, but noticed that his wings were falling apart, too. Before he crashed, though, he caught the medal with his teeth, and crash landed on top of Punk. "OW! Easy on the landing, dude." he said.

"Sorry." he replied.

"And with that, Team Misfits win the tiebreaker, and win the challenge AGAIN for the 7,345th time!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WOOHOO!" they cheered, while the other team looked disappointed again.

"And team Peep Force 4, you'll all meet with me again at the elimination ceremony. Haha, what a fun day." he said, heading off.

"Punk..." Randy growled at him before walking off.

"Haha, I'm taking one of these medals home for Kelly." Punk smiled.

"Can you believe that Randy, Eve?" Christian asked, while they headed back to the plane.

"I really can't, Christian. Our team's doomed with dictator Punk and Randy the monster." she agreed, still thinking about Randy's threat to her.

Back in the Playa's Lounge in the jet, Maria was hanging out on her own, when Jeff joined her. "Hey, Ria!" he greeted.

"Hey, Jeff." she smiled at him.

"You okay, sweetie?" he asked.

"Yeah. I just feel way better that I told you about what Randy did to me. I couldn't keep it in any longer, but I was scared that he'd hurt us. Mostly you." she replied.

"Ria, telling me was the right thing to do, and whatever happens, I'm not mad at you. We just got back together, I don't want us to split up already." he replied.

"I don't, either." she agreed, holding his hand.

"Hey, why aren't you wearing your medal?" he asked.

"I don't think I deserve it after what happened today." she said sadly.

"Red, you totally deserve it. You helped our team to win, you helped give me another reason to beat the crap outta Orton..."

She laughed.

"Anyways,...you're my champion, babe." he said, putting the medal back on her.

She smiled happily before they wrapped themselves in a passionate kiss. "I love you, Jeffro." she said sincerely.

"I love you too, Maria." he replied, wrapping her in a hug.

From outside, Randy peeked in and saw the two back together, and was aggravated that his plan to break them up failed.

Later, at the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, Team Peep Force 4, welcome back! Now, you've already tabulated your votes, and here are the results!" exclaimed Jericho. "Christian, Eve, you're safe!" he exclaimed, tossing them bags of peanuts.

"Heh?" demanded Punk.

"Now, Randy and Punk, one of you two could leave, but coincidentally, each of you have two votes each, so I'll allow you two to stay for another week." he replied.

"YES! Thank you, Jerko." Punk exclaimed while Randy sighed in relief.

"No prob. Besides, I got someone else I gotta kick out. Yo, Skippy!" he called.

The intern joined him.

"Yeah, I'm tired of your damned incompetence, so I want you to GET OUTTA MY PLANE!" he cried, kicking the poor intern out.

"Wow, you're so mean." announced Christian.

"You ask for decent help, you don't get any these days. Well, gotta take my beauty power nap. Night night, wormies!" he exclaimed, heading off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "I can't believe Randy's still here! And now, I know I'm not his only victim after he tried to hurt poor Ria! There has to be a way to get rid of him before he threatens to hurt anyone else!"

Punk: "Well, another failed attempt to get rid of Orton, go figure. But hey, I'll try to get back on his good side and keep the alliance going, so that way I can get rid of him for sure."

Randy: "Ok, as soon as I get outta here, I'm gonna have a serious word with Punk after he PROMISED that he wouldn't say a word! I may not have been able to break up Hardy and Maria, but there are others on that team I could try to manipulate. Plus, I still got Eve to stay quiet, so I think that my being here will be beneficial for everyone, hahahahaha..."


	25. Episode 15: Las Vegas

Total WWE, World Tour: People Really Get Drunk in Las Vegas (Or Find Aliens)

Episode #15

"Yo, yo, YO! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, Chris Jericho here with another insane episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we headed to Rome-I-I mean Greece for the Parasite Olympics! There were three events, the first being a gold search in a maze guarded by some ancient boar thing. Maria, who was earlier kissed by Randy were facing off first. He tried to sweet talk/threaten her some more, until the boar attacked Randy, letting Ria snatch up the gold! The second event saw Jeff, Matt, and Edge versing Christian and Punk in a Last Man Standing Handicapped match! The match was crazy, but in the end, Punk was victorious, winning two medals! The third event saw Eve vs. Lita in a hurdle race, where the two enemies showed off their flexibility, but after a bump to Eve's head, Lita took the gold for her team. During the tiebreaker, which had Jeff versing Punk, Punk revealed a bombshell: Randy smooched Maria, when he wasn't supposed to tell. After that, Jeff pretty much kicked Randy's ass. But in the end, Punk failed to capture the gold, Jeff did, and Team Misfits won for the 50,000th time in a row. This week, where will Randy's plans take him next? Will Punk succeed in getting rid of him? And who will get the boot next? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge in the Jumbo Jet of Fun, Team Misfits were still thinking about their Randy problem...

"I can't believe that-that (BLEEP)ing (BLEEP) kissed my girlfriend!" Jeff cried angrily, pacing the room.

"Wow, cursing. Great way to open the show." announced Matt.

"I don't care!" he cried. "I'm pissed off right now."

"Enigma, he's not around right now, don't think about him anymore." Maria said, leading him to the couch with her. "Please calm down."

"I wish I could, but I can't. Orton's been getting on my last nerve for years now, and he just doesn't know how to quit while he's ahead." he replied, putting an arm around her.

"Hey, you made a nice statement last time when you beat the crap outta him." replied Lita. "I know I don't really know him that well-"

"Be glad you don't." Maria, Jeff, and Matt all said at the same time.

"Uh, yeah. Anyways, by what I've heard about him, he seems pretty badass. But...in a negative way." she continued meekly.

"Yeah, I sorta agree with you there. I mean, Rand's still one of my buds, but lately he's been ignoring me and leaving the Rated out of Rated RKO! So, since Christian and I are hanging out now, I get to make him jealous and it's lots of fun! WHEE!" Edge exclaimed, swinging around in his chair. "I LOVE THIS CHAIR!"

"...Well, aside from what Morty McMoron here just said, let's all just be glad that Randy's not on this team, and that his team has to suffer instead, ok?" asked Matt.

"Morty McWhatWhat?" demanded Edge, who fell out of his chair again.

Outside of the room, Randy was listening in on them again, while a flight attendant was wheeling in drinks for them. While she had her back turned, Randy smiled and slipped a small amount a drug of into one of the drinks. He hid once again while the attendant wheeled the cart into the room. Then, he peeked inside to see who'd drink it.

"About time. How about a toast for being victorious yet again?" asked Maria.

"Cheers!-Here here!" they all exclaimed.

"Hahaha." Randy chuckled, heading off.

In the Losers' section...

"And WHO said that we could change the team's name without my consent?" demanded Punk.

"Look, dude, you weren't around at the time, so we all decided to keep the name Peep Force 4, is that such a problem for you?" demanded Christian.

"As a matter of fact, dude, it is a problem for me. I'm the team leader, and I get to decide the team's name. We're keeping The Deadly Bunny Assassination Squad." he replied.

"NO, we are not!" argued Christian.

"YES, we are! Maria named the team that, I say we keep it that way in her honor." he argued back. "Even though she's right in that room right there."

"Look, Maria would want us to do whatever we thought was right, and I say the Peep Force 4 is the right thing to do, so HA!" Christian said quickly and matter-of-factly.

"I don't have to listen to you people." he replied. "I'm team leader. You can't tell me what to do."

"What happened to you, man?" demanded Christian. "You were just fine until you and Kelly had that fight, and things got worse after she left!"

"Well, I believe this team needs good leadership, and that's what I intend to bring it." he replied. "Besides, don't you want to win again instead of the other team, who practically hogs that room every week?"

"Jeez. I-I guess it'd be nice to have that room again. I have missed that shag carpeting." he replied.

"All right then. Then we listen to me for now on, ok? Good." Punk declared, walking off.

"Crazy little-hey, Eve, you feeling ok?" he asked her.

She was still thinking about what Randy told her. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine! Why do you ask?" she asked.

"You've been seriously quiet for the past few days. Something's bothering you, isn't it?" he asked.

"Well, uh, I guess." she replied.

"Come on. Tell a peep what's on your mind." he replied.

"Well...ok. Last week, you know, when Evan was eliminated, uh..." she began when Randy walked past them and heard what she was saying. He shot her a look and then quickly glanced at Christian before taking a seat a few places away from them.

"What, you know who was the third person that voted him off?" asked Christian.

Randy loudly cleared his throat.

"Uh..no, actually, I still have no idea how that happened, never mind. I was just worried about Punk and how our team's gonna fall apart with him as our leader." she replied.

"Well, Eve, I happened to come up with a plan." he said with a smirk.

"Really? What?"

"Ok, if Punk wants to lead so bad, why don't we let him? We'll do whatever he says, but if we lose because of him, he'll be the one to blame since it was his fault! What do you think?" he asked.

"Christian, that's a great idea!" she exclaimed. "At least him being gone'll be one less thing to worry about."

Meanwhile, Randy listened in on the whole conversation and had an idea of his own.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Wow, I'm gonna get a lot of screen time today! Anyway, seems like Eve and Christian dislike Punk just as much as I do. Here's MY plan. I'll forgive Punk for betraying me the other day and let him back into the alliance. I'll stick by him and help him out, but when he least expects it-BAM! He's outta here next."

-Back outside-

* * *

Everything was going fine, until the plane suddenly started to crash down...

"Oh, crap, not again!" Jeff cried.

"Shouldn't the health inspector arrest Jericho and Show and close down this flying deathtrap?" demanded Matt.

"I dunno..." Lita replied, suddenly feeling a little weird from the drink, while she kept sipping on it.

"We're not gonna really crash, are we?" asked Maria. "It's gotta only be another false alarm!"

_"Attention, parasites, please meet me in the cafeteria for your uh, last meals. Thankee!" _Jericho exclaimed on the intercom.

"Well, it's true. Time to panic now. WE'RE REALLY GONNA DIE! AAH!" screamed Edge.

Matt clocked him on the head with a newspaper. "Will you shut up and come on?" he demanded.

Soon enough, everyone gathered to the cafeteria with Jericho and Show.

"Hey, Show, why do you keep leaving the damned plane unattended? If you didn't know, we're crashing 900ft to our deaths right about now!" exclaimed Christian.

"Don't worry. My autopilot buddy has it covered." he replied.

In the pilot's seat, the cardboard cutout of Spongebob was still there, and fell out of the seat.

"Ok, worms, we may be crash victims whose bodies may never be recovered by the authorities, so, just remember each other's company." announced Jericho.

"You know, if we crash, then so do you." announced Matt.

"Oh, no. I'll be outta this trap relaxing somewhere in Tahiti before this thing reaches the ground." he replied.

"Jerkoff." muttered Edge.

While Eve was on her own, Randy approached her and said, "Eve, we almost spilled the beans earlier, huh?"

"Randy, I'm going to tell Christian one way or another." she said seriously.

"I don't think so. I suggest you shut your trap before I hurt you along with Christian." he said darkly.

"Like you threatened to hurt Maria and Jeff, right?" she demanded.

"Yeah. Only worse if you don't keep it quiet around here." he replied, walking off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Wow, the others weren't kidding when they said that Randy shouldn't be messed with! The guy makes you want to piss your pants or something! Well, uh, not me in particular, but you know what I mean."

-Back outside-

* * *

Then, he stood next to Lita, who quickly glanced at him. "Hey." he greeted.

"I think you shouldn't talk to me." she replied, turning away.

"Do you THINK, or do you KNOW that you shouldn't talk to me?" he asked curiously. "I'm not as bad as everyone says I am."

"Whatever." she replied, a little woozy.

Randy smiled.

Soon after that, the plane finally landed.

"Oh, goody, we survived. EVERYBODY, GET OUT!" Jericho exclaimed.

Once they did, they found themselves in a deserted area, with a few buildings up ahead.

"Whoa, where are we, like...now?" Lita asked, a bit woozy.

Her team looked at her, confused, while Randy smirked, knowing that his plan was working.

"We're, like, in Las Vegas!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Vegas? Where are all the bright lights and everything?" asked Punk.

"And the casinos?" asked Jeff.

"And the strippers?" asked Christian.

"About 50 miles from here, and NO, we're not going anywhere to gamble!" he replied.

"AWW!" they groaned.

Then, Maria felt something awkward on her leg. "Uh...something's on my leg."

Everyone looked down to find a lizard groping her leg in an inappropriate manner.

Her face slowly squirmed in disgust, while Jeff had to pry it off of her and send it somewhere else. "He's gone now, baby." he replied.

"I was violated by a lizard." she announced, scared.

"Eh...all righty then. We're really in Area 52, right next to the infamous Area 51, where your challenge will take place." replied Jericho.

"Where?" Eve asked, confused.

"You know, Area 51, home of alien sightings, the CIA, no trespassing on government property or else you'll probably get shot, that kind of thing." he explained.

Edge lit up. "Aliens?" he asked.

"Here it comes." Matt said dully, crossing his arms.

"ALIENS, you say? Oh...I'm home." Edge smiled, crouching on the ground.

"Wow, that was awkward. Ok, your challenge tonight will involve you parasites breaking into Area 51, which is right over this border line here, and you must bring back an alien artifact. And it has to be intact. If you bring me a lump of coal, I will jam it up your ass. Understand?" he asked.

Christian raised his hand. "If we do find something intact, can we jam it up YOUR ass?" he asked, while everyone else laughed.

"Just go." he said dully. "Team Peep Force 4, follow that path, and Team Misfits, follow the other one. Try not to get blown up, kidnapped, or abducted on the way there, wormies! HAHAHA!"

"Ok, people, we go THAT way!" announced Punk. "No complaining, just do it."

"As you wish, masta." Christian joked with a British accent.

Eve quickly followed him, to make sure to stay away from Randy. He looked towards the other team, while an out-of-it Lita looked back in his direction and smiled a little, while he smiled back and winked towards her.

"Hey, Lita, everything ok?" asked Maria. "You seem a little, out of it."

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Red. I guess I must've had a little too much of that drink earlier." she replied. "Ha. HA HA HAHAHAHA!"

Shocked, her team looked at her.

She quickly covered her mouth. "Yeah, it was the drink, now come on." she announced, speeding ahead.

"It's always gotta be the quiet ones." announced Edge, who was holding out a camera.

"Was that the same camera I punched you in the eye with?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah. I'm gonna look out for UFO sightings! I'm gonna love it here." he replied, snapping something. "Oh, my God, is that a-crap, it's bear poo."

"Oh." Matt scoffed, holding his head. "Anyway, what's the plan here?"

"Let me, let me!" Edge exclaimed.

"Oh, God." he muttered.

"Ok, the warehouse is over there, and right over here's a mine field. We just gotta diffuse the mines and race inside the warehouse before the smoke clears, so that the government doesn't capture us!" he explained.

"Oh, my God, something he said, actually sounded smart!" announced Maria.

"Maybe something was put in HIS drink, too." agreed Jeff.

Meanwhile, with the Peep Force 4...

"Ok, Punk, what's our plan for tonight?" asked Christian.

"Uh...well, see those lasers over there? They're in front of the warehouse. So, in order to get inside the warehouse, we have to get past the lasers." he explained.

"...You're a genius." he finally said.

"Thanks, I know. Now, follow me." he replied.

While they walked on, a tube suddenly closed around Christian and sent him away! "MMM!"

Eve looked back to find him missing. "Christian? Where are you?" she asked.

"Heh heh." chuckled Randy.

"Guess the government kidnapped him." replied Punk. "Now, let's go!"

While they were getting past the lasers, Team Misfits were still on the other side of the mine field.

"Ok, now we gotta-" began Edge.

*DING DING!* "Hey, parasites, it's singing time!" Jericho announced.

They groaned.

"No, not them, just you guys. So, do what you do best, sing and don't get yourselves blown up!" he exclaimed.

"So, what do we gotta sing?" Matt asked dully.

"Hmm..." Lita thought still looking towards Randy, while Flyleaf's 'All Around Me' came on. In her mind, she and her team were a band in a music video, where she sang lead, Jeff and Maria were on guitars, Edge played bass, and Matt was on the drums. Randy was also in the 'video', too.

Lita: "My hands are searching for you, my arms are outstretched towards you, I feel you on my fingertips, my tongue dances behind my lips for you…This fire rising through my being, burning I'm not used to seeing you…  
I'm alive! I'm alive…

I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing, holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing…

My hands float up above me, and you whisper you love me, and I begin to fade, into our secret place…The music makes me sway, the angels singing say we are alone with you, I am alone and they are too with you…  
I'm alive! I'm alive…

I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing, holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing…

So I cry (Holy) The light is white (Holy) And I see you…  
I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive…

And I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing, holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing,  
Take my hand, I give it to you, now you own me, all I am, you said you would never leave me, I believe you, I believe…

I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing, holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healed…"

After the song ended, Jeff asked, "Uh, Lita, why were you looking towards the other team while you were singing?"

"Wha? I, uh, wasn't looking at Randy or anything, HAHAHAHA! Edge, get us past this thing." she said quickly.

Still confused, the gang exchanged glances at one another.

"Ok, baby powder, al a mode!" Edge exclaimed, tossing the stuff all around the mines. They set off, and the smoke began rising up.

"Uh, any reason you're carrying BABY POWDER?" Matt called over the noise.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER, COME ON!" Edge exclaimed, speeding past the smoke along with everyone else.

After everyone headed inside the warehouse, both teams went in separate directions...

"Hey, Punk, can I chat with you for a sec?" asked Randy.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Listen, about the other day..."

"Dude, don't explain. I was supposed to keep your secret and I was a blabbermouth. I'm sorry." he apologized.

"No need to apologize. Listen, I want you back in the alliance with me, if that's ok with you." replied Randy.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. We can stick together, so, you know, either Christian or Eve'll be off next. What do you say?" he asked quietly, making sure that Eve wasn't listening.

"Hmm...that could be arranged. You got a deal, dude." he said, shaking his hand.

"Sweet." he replied.

"Ok, guys, are we gonna look for this alien thing or what?" asked Eve.

"Up bup bup! I am the leader here, I give us the direction." Punk replied, then going face to face with a gate. "Ok, all we gotta do is hop the fence to get to the other side. Follow my lead." Then, he started climbing the gate before getting himself electrocuted! "AAAH! Who the hell would want to put up an electric fence in here?" he demanded, in pain.

Eve and Randy rolled their eyes and casually walked around the gate.

"Let's go, dude." announced Randy.

"How the hell did you get THERE?" demanded Punk.

"Forget it, we have to go back and look for Christian!" exclaimed Eve. "For all we know, the government could be trying to erase all of his memories and store them in a box!"

In a separate room, Christian woke up to find himself tied down to a chair, in a tiny room with nothing but many microphones and recorders surrounding him.

"Whoa...crazy ride that was. Where the hell am I?" he asked.

"State your name, unidentified citizen." a voice said.

"Uh, Christian? Who are you, dude? I don't see you anywhere." he replied.

"That's classified. Sir, you've been captured by the CIA for illegal trespassing on private property." the voice replied.

"...Huh?" he asked, confused.

"Please state your species, sir." the voice replied.

"Species? Dude, I'm a DUDE!" he cried. "Well, if I'm gonna be in here for a while, can you get me some fries or something?"

"That's classified. I am afraid we'll have to drain your memories and store them in the decorative box down below." the voice replied.

"Wha? This is a joke, right? I saw something like this in one of those movies, you know, where-" he was cut off when a helmet was placed on him and some fumes knocked him unconscious. "-Mmm, chicken..."

Meanwhile, with Team Misfits...

"Where'd Lita go?" asked Matt.

"It's weird, she's been acting strange ever since we got here." replied Jeff.

"Well, she told me that it was probably something in her drink. None of you guys feel weird, do you?" asked Maria.

"Nope-no." they boys replied.

"Hey, I'm always weird, so I'm used to it!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Well, me, too!" she agreed with a smile.

"Me, too." agreed Edge. "Weird is cool."

"Yeah, be proud of that, guys." Matt replied dully. "Anyone found an alien yet?"

"OOH!" Edge cried, rushing ahead.

"What?" asked Jeff.

"Whoa, look at this thing!" he cried excitedly.

"Cool, it's a portal!" exclaimed Maria.

"You think the alien would be on the other side?" asked Jeff.

"LET ME SEE!" Edge exclaimed, sticking his head inside. "Cool..."

While he was distracted, Matt chuckled and pushed Edge inside. "Maybe now he'll be sent off to the Twilight Zone where he belongs. Then again, hey Jeff, why don't you join him?"

"NO, dude, you can't get rid of me!" he snapped, standing behind Maria. "My job is to be here to annoy you and be your adorable little brother." he said, sticking out his tongue while Maria giggled.

"Grr." Matt replied dully.

"Hey, I'm returning!" Edge exclaimed, leaping out of the portal.

"Did you find an alien?" asked Maria.

"Nope, but I think I saw Elvis, 1985, and look, I got this pet rock that I used to have when I was 5!" he exclaimed, holding up a caged rock. "See, lookit!"

Matt casually bonked Edge with the cage.

"OW! You're just jealous cause you don't have a pet rock like ME!" he replied.

"No, I'm not, dude." Matt replied while they headed off.

Back with Team Peep Force 4...

"Now, Orton's missing, go figure." announced Punk. "He probably got himself captured by the government, too. What's with these people?"

"Thank God he's gone." replied Eve. "Can you stand him intimidating you all the time? It's scary!"

"Meh, he doesn't scare me. You gotta be around the guy long enough to really get used to him." he replied. "Well, now we just gotta focus on getting that alien artifact thingy and the two of us can win on our own!"

The two just stood there.

"Well?" asked Eve.

"What?" he asked.

"Aren't we gonna look for the alien?" she asked.

"We don't have to look. I believe that if we just stand right here, the alien will find its way to us." he smiled.

"Punk, no alien's just gonna fall outta the sky and come to us!" she cried.

Then, lo and behold, a small box fell into Punk's arms. "I'm good." he smiled.

Then, two small aliens popped out and looked at the two of them.

"I didn't know these things were even real." he announced.

"Aww, wittle aliens! Look how cute they are!" Eve exclaimed happily.

Then, the aliens stuck out their arms and grabbed them both, violently shocking them.

"AAAHHHH!..." *THUMP!* they cried before falling out.

In another part of the warehouse, Lita and Randy just happened to run into one another...

"Oh, hey, Lita." he greeted.

"Wh-*hic!*-What do you want?" she asked, almost drunk.

"Whoa, are you ok?" he asked. "Have a little too much to drink or something?"

"None of your business, all right?" she demanded. "Now, I gotta go look-*stumbles*-look for some thing."

"Would you like to look with me? Y'know, kind of like a designated search buddy." he asked.

"Why would I want anything do do with you?" she asked.

"Well, for one thing, it's bad enough walking around a dangerous warehouse while you're in this condition. And second..." he said, taking her hand. "Don't think I haven't seen you sneaking peeks at me."

While they were chatting, the rest of Team Misfits saw the scene.

"What the hell is she doing with him?" Matt demanded quietly.

"Shh! I want to hear this." Edge replied.

"Well, I can look wherever I want to. Besides, you're kinda...hot." she replied, blushing.

"Oh, really?" he asked, pulling her closer to him. "You're not so bad yourself. You got sick tattoos, cool hair, you're...different."

"I like different." she replied.

"So do I. Hey, we might not know each other that well, but what do you say we get to know one another?" he asked before wrapping her up in a kiss.

The others, however, looked totally shocked.

After a few seconds, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Randy, that backstabbing son of a-" Edge began angrily.

"Save it. Guys, let's go." Matt said, pissed off.

After they left, the two broke apart, while she drunkenly said, "Wow, you're a good kisser."

He smiled. "Right back at cha. Well, I gotta meet back up with my team. See you around?" he asked.

"We'll see." she smiled back, heading in the opposite direction.

While Randy was heading off, he chuckled evilly. "Hook, line, and sinker. I just gotta see the other team blow up now." he said quietly.

Then, he ran into a small little robot, who was holding a giant laser gun towards him and was walking around him in circles.

"Aww..." Randy groaned.

"Brr. I'm gonna get you. Brr. I'm gonna get you. Brr. I'm gonna get you." it said.

"Yeah, woo, I'm an intruder. I'm intruding past you, all right?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

Then, the robot turned around and zapped him multiple times. "AAH!" he screamed. "(BLEEEP!)"

Meanwhile, Jeff ended up getting separated from the group and ended up in a totally different room. "Guys? Where the hell am I?" he asked.

Then, he saw this giant alien pod thing, and approached it. "Cool." he said, mesmerized. When he got close enough, a green laser scanned him from head to toe, and then the pod started glowing a bright green color. "...Should I run now?" he asked, backing away.

After that, the pod hatched, and to his shock, an exact clone of Jeff emerged, heading towards him.

"That did not just happen." the real Jeff chuckled. "Wait."

Then, he waved his hand, while his clone did the same thing.  
"What?" he laughed.

"Jeff, there you are!" Maria exclaimed, joining him before seeing the shock. "Hubbawha?" she exclaimed.

"Ria, check this out! I have a clone now!" he exclaimed, doing his signature poses while his clone followed.

"HOW?" she exclaimed.

"It's weird, this thing just scanned me down and he hatched out!" he exclaimed. "I look good."

"I'll say!" she smiled. "This place is so strange, but who cares? I got two of you now! This is awesome! TWO TIMES THE FUN!"

While she tightly hugged them both, the clone exploded green goo on the both of them, leaving them in shock.

"Aww, Ria. You killed me!" Jeff announced, a little disappointed.

"Uh...this moment never happened. Let's go." she said quickly, leading them both out. "I like the original, anyways!"

"Aww, I blush!" Jeff exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Randy finally caught up to an unconscious Eve and Punk, who were just waking up...

"Hey, team. Have a nice nap?" he asked them.

"Orton? Where the hell have you been?" demanded Punk.

"Apparently more than what you two are doing." he replied.

"Well, for your information, Punk and I've already found our alien, right Punk?" asked Eve.

"Yep. Uh, where are they?" he asked.

Then, a door opened and a dazed Christian joined them. "Hello, all." he said blankly.

"Christian!" Eve exclaimed. "What happened to you?"

His hair was colored black and white, and had KISS's face makeup on.

"Why do you look like Gene Simmons?" asked Punk.

"I have no conscious memory of what just transpired in there." he replied.

"Oh, NO! They DID take away your memory!" cried Eve. "This is horrible!"

"Indeed it is, Eve. Indeed it is. My memory's been taken away by the CIA, Punk's still a dictator, and Randy's still a hotheaded jerk." he continued, before breaking into a smile.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?" Randy and Punk exclaimed.

"He's back." Eve smiled.

"Now, anyway, where are those damned aliens? We just had em!" exclaimed Punk.

"You mean, these?" Randy asked, ripping the aliens off of his and Eve's backs, dropping one in a box. "Team, we're good now."

"Uh, uh, yeah, I knew they were there the whole time! Come on, team, let's get outta here." Punk said confidently.

Meanwhile, Team Misfits were back near the entrance, still reeling from what just happened...

"How could she do this?" Matt demanded. "He's our enemy. How the hell could she do that?"

"I thought Randy was cool with me. How could that-that JERK do this to me?" Edge cried.

Then, a drunken Lita returned with a box with an alien in it. "Hey, you guys, I found this thing, do we win now?" she slurred.

"Save it for later!" Matt and Edge yelled at her, storming off.

"What's their problem?" she asked.

Jeff and Maria just looked at her sympathetically before heading off with the others.

"Wait, guys! What's wrong?" she asked, following them.

Meanwhile, Team Peep Force 4 were exiting their side of the warehouse, unaware that they were standing on a mine field.

"See how awesome of a leader I am?" asked Punk. "We got not one, but TWO aliens, they're unharmed, and we're finally gonna win a challenge again! Remember to thank me in the end for-"

*BOOM!* the mines in the field started to blow up.

Where Jericho was, he was reading a newspaper, while the charred and burnt team suddenly landed by him. *THUMP!*

Jericho peeked at them. "I warned you not to get yourselves blown up." he said, seeing smoke come from them.

They glared at him.

"So, you got your alien intact?" he asked.

Punk handed him the box. "Two aliens, totally unharmed." he said.

Then, he turned the box over, to find nothing but ash seeping out.

"PUNK!" the other three cried.

"Oh...damn." he said slowly. "Well, we got blown up, doesn't that count for something?"

"Guys, wait!" Lita exclaimed, then tripping over. The box flew through the air and landed in Jericho's hands. "See, Peeps, THIS is how an alien's supposed to look like. Not like coffee grounds." he explained. "And that's why Team Misfits win for the 9,843rd time! Right, guys-guys?"

They were already in the plane.

"Oh." The Peeps groaned.

"Damn it, you guys!" Punk cried angrily.

The three glared at him.

"I'm gonna strangle him. I'M GONNA STRANGLE HIM!" Christian cried while Eve and Randy held him back.

In the Playa's Lounge, Matt and Edge were still pissed, while Jeff and Maria relaxed on the couch.

"Guys! We, *hic!* we won!" Lita announced.

Edge just blew a raspberry while crossing his arms and slowly revolving his chair.

"Look, everyone, wha-wow, I'm dizzy. I'm gonna crash for a while. Night." she slurred, falling back in a recliner.

"Guys, should we really be this mad at her?" asked Jeff. "I mean, that drink she had earlier pretty much messed her up."

"Drunk or not, she kissed Randy, and he's our enemy. I can't exactly speak to her right about now." Matt replied darkly.

"Ditto." agreed Edge.

"Oh, this is gonna be a long night." Maria sighed to Jeff.

"Totally." he agreed, taking her hand.

At the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, Team Peep Force 4, welcome back! Now, although you failed to capture an alien and gave me dirt instead, the real reason you lost was because of a lack of teamwork, eh?" asked Jericho.

"Well, if it weren't for a certain someone, things might've turned out differently." Christian replied, glaring at Punk.

"Yeah. Well, you tabulated your votes and here's the deal. Christian, Eve, you're safe!" he exclaimed, tossing them bags. "Now, a continuation from last time. Punk, Randy, one of you stays and one of you leaves. The person leaving the competition is..."

Punk looked nervous while Randy smiled.

"Punky, sir, you're out!" announced Jericho.

His eyes bugged out. "WHAT?" he demanded. "You guys voted me off because of my awesome leadership?"

"No, we voted you off because you're a dictator of our team and we won't take any more." replied Christian. "Bye bye."

"Randy?" Punk asked. "You, too, huh?"

He smiled. "You know it."

"Why? What about the alliance?" he demanded.

"Alliance?" Eve and Christian asked, surprised.

"Yeah, well, it was too soon for anything to really happen, and I work better alone, anyway. You should know by now that I always dump the person in my alliance and take off with the gold!" he smiled evilly.

Punk growled. "You son of a BITCH!" he cried before he could attack him.

"Ooh, I'd love to see this fight, but as all endings go..." Jericho began, kicking him out of the plane. "And he's out."

"...And then there were three. See you around. Especially you, Eve." Randy winked towards her before heading off.

"Wha?" Christian asked, confused.

"Well, I'm tired, gonna go get some sleep, night night!" Eve exclaimed quickly, speeding off.

Silence.

"So...uh, up for a game of Old Maid?" asked Jericho.

"No." Christian replied, casually walking off.

"Oh. Well, uh, fine. Nice look, by the way. Gene Simmons, right? Well, see you next week, TV Land!" he exclaimed. "Oh, I'm so lonely."


	26. Episode 16: Australia

Total WWE, World Tour: Outback Jacked Up

Episode #16

"What's good, parasites? The codebreaker here, Chris Jericho with another dramatic episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we headed to Area 51, located near Las Vegas! There, the competitors had to find their way into headquarters, and capture an alien and bring it back to home base, still in one piece. Punk still declared himself leader, while Christian and Eve were forced to follow along. Randy, on the other hand, decided that he still wanted an alliance with Punk, to which he agreed. Christian was eventually captured by the government, while Randy and Lita shared a few unexpected glances. Anyone see where this is going? Anyway, on Team Misfits' side, the team questioned Lita's odd behavior, but she blamed it on the alcohol. Inside, tons of crazy stuff happened, like Edge was thrown into a portal, Punk continued failing at being leader, two aliens were found, Orton got zapped by a robot, and Jeff found a clone of himself which eventually got murdered by Maria. Yeah, it was a weird night. But the real shocker that night was when Randy took advantage of a drunken Lita, and the two shared a kiss! Worst part of it was, her team saw everything. At the end, Punk's leadership got he and his team blown up along with their alien, leaving Team Misfits as the winners once again. At the elimination ceremony, Punk was booted off next because everyone was just plain sick of him! This week, will Christian ever find out Eve's secret about Randy? And how will Lita face the rest of the Misfits after what transpired the last time? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playas Lounge of the jet...

After the events that happened the last time, Matt and Edge were still totally pissed off with Lita.

"Guys?" she asked. "Matt? Aren't you gonna talk to me again?" she asked.

He casually just continued channel flipping.

"Come on, man! How about a drink? My treat?" she asked.

He ignored her.

She sighed. "How about you, Edge?" she asked him.

He continued carelessly revolving in his chair.

"Look, I don't even like you, but I don't want even YOU angry at me." she told him. "Hey, how about a Slim Jim? My treat?"

He snatched the Slim Jim, began eating it, and turned away from her.

She sighed again. "It was one mistake." she said, flopping down in a recliner. "Jeff? Maria? Do you guys hate me, too? Everyone else seems to." she told them.

They looked at each other and then back at her.

"I don't hate you." replied Maria.

"Me neither." agreed Jeff.

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Look, you kissed Randy, and hell, I can't stand the guy." he continued. "It wasn't cool seeing you kiss him, but you were, uh, drunk that time, right?"

"Yeah!" agreed Maria. "You really wouldn't have kissed him, right? It was just your drink."

She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Uh, yeah! Totally the drink. Without it, I wouldn't have even noticed the guy before, y'know?" she asked. "Guys, thanks for backing me up here."

They nodded.

"It's no biggie." replied Maria.

"Now, I just wish the others would just leave it alone. I'll be right back." she said, heading out.

After she left, Matt looked back and said, "Guys, come here."

"Look, dude, if this is about-" began Edge.

"Yes, it's about Lita! She betrayed us the other day by kissing our enemy. So as of now, I'm calling an alliance. If we lose today's challenge, the four of us vote her off." he announced.

"I'm in!" exclaimed Edge. "I really want that cheating, backstabbing, veiny-headed-UGHH!-my EX best friend Randy outta here more than anyone, but she'll do, too."

"Good. Maria, Jeff, you two in?" asked Matt.

"Dude, you guys gotta cut her some slack." replied Jeff. "She had a few bad drinks the other day, she didn't know what she was doing."

"Yeah, she just told us that she didn't mean to meet with him." agreed Maria.

"Why are you guys defending her? She went against our team behind our backs!" cried Matt.

"Well, here's the deal. You two go defend that two timing little redhead, while Hardy and I plan to vote her off." agreed Edge.

"I just can't believe you two of all people are working together." replied Maria.

"Well, as moronic as I think he is-" began Matt.

"And even though I think he's a know it all egomaniac-" began Edge.

"We gotta do what we gotta do. We're voting Lita off. If you two are smart, you'd side with us." Matt finished.

Outside, Lita overheard everything and looked hurt at first, but became angry.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "I made one little mistake! So, I kissed the guy! I don't know him as well as they do! Besides, he's pretty cool to me. I mean, if you like someone who's tough, has badass tattoos on those strong...muscular arms...whatever, I'll show em that I deserve to stay, just watch."

-Back outside-

* * *

In the Losers' section, Lita ran into Randy. "Oh, hey, Lita." he greeted.

"What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Listen, I heard that your team's having problems, huh?" he asked.

"And this is your business, why?" she asked.

"No reason. But if it was because of that kiss the other night, I admit, I kind of don't regret it." he replied.

She looked surprised, but looked back to make sure that nobody from her team was watching. "Maybe I don't regret it, either." she said with a small smile.

He smiled back at her while he headed in the other direction. "Cool. Hopefully, I'll see you around." he replied.

She blushed. "Sure." she replied.

From a distance, Eve saw the two chatting and grew suspicious.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "And what exactly is SHE doing speaking to someone like him? Well, I shouldn't really care, he's a maniac, if she wants to get involved with him, it's her funeral. I mean, Randy's totally evil...yet, ok, he's cute...ok, he's hot, I admit, but I still have a huge crush on Matt, and I also really care about Christian, too! I don't want either of them to get hurt." _Lita: "You're such a slut!" _Eve: "YOU SHOULD TALK, GOTH!"

-Back outside-

* * *

_"Attention, parasites! Please meet me in the front of the plane for your next challenge!" _Jericho announced on the intercom.

While he was headed to meet up with them, he thought he saw someone moving under some crates (Cena sleeping), but he shook it off and headed away.

Soon after that...

"G'Day, parasites!" he greeted, wearing an Australian hat.

"Hey, nice hat! We going clam fishing?" asked Edge.

Surprised, he just looked at him.

"Y'know, clam fishing! You go out, fish for the biggest clams and have a clambake afterwards! You remember, right, Christian?" he continued.

"Ah, yes, I have fond memories of those old Canadian clambakes over a campfire...I remember this one time where-" he began.

"Yeah, this is my show, remember? Thanks!" Jericho interrupted. "All right, parasites, we're gonna have a great time on the barbie, cause our next destination is Australia!"

"Ooh, do we get to go to the Outback Steakhouse?" asked Christian.

"Ok, you and you *points at Edge* need to shut up. Now we gotta get this challenge started cause we'll be here for a while." he said, shoving everyone towards the door.

"Wait, Jericho, don't we even get protective gear first?" asked Eve.

"No, now worms, GET OUT!" he cried, shoving them all out in a line.

"OW!" they screamed, eventually landing on the ground.

Jeff chuckled. "Why do I always love that?" he asked.

"Ok, hypocrites, here's today's challenge, which will indeed, be a grueling one. You'll have to race up the Blue Mountains over there, and reach the Hanging Rock cliff at the end." he explained.

"A running race? Sounds easy enough." replied Randy.

"Oh, nononono. You'll be racing on these. *snaps fingers*"

Then, a couple of interns brought out eight emus.

"Aw, crapola." announced Christian.

"Yeah. You gotta race these emus up to the mountains-" he began.

Before he could finish, the gang raced to get an emu, until Jericho stepped in and let them loose. "HAHAHA!"

"Why'd you do that, you idiot?" demanded Matt.

"Idiot?" he demanded back. "Jealousy will get you nowhere. Anyways, you guys have to catch these emus before you ride them. Good luck, my little wormies, HAHAHA!"

After he left, everyone chased after the emus, while it was harder to catch one than others.

"Heh. Emu, meet Emo." Eve announced.

Lita practically shoved her aside, trying to catch her emu. "Shut up."

"Come on, guys, help a peep out, will ya?" Christian asked, before an emu sped and rammed him in the gut, sending him flying somewhere else! "OW."

Matt tried to catch multiple emus, but they sped out of his reach. "Damn." he cried.

"Having trouble, bro?" Jeff asked with an evil smile, riding on an emu.

"How the hell did you catch one of those?" he demanded.

"I'm special." he smiled. "Good luck, dude. Let's go, Ria."

"Right behind you!" Maria exclaimed, riding an emu along with him.

"AAH!" Edge cried, holding onto the emu's leg while being dragged along. "GODDAMMIT!"

While Matt was still trying to catch one, he saw Lita. She tried to catch her emu when she said, "Dude, what's your problem, anyway? Giving me the silent treatment's not gonna do anything."

"Look, Lita. You kissed Randy the other day." he replied.

"So? First off, I was drunk that day, all right? And second, why should you even care?" she demanded.

"He's our enemy! Don't you get that?" he exclaimed angrily.

"Yeah, and maybe you're just jealous. I can do whatever I want, I'm single, remember? Drunk or not, I could hang out with him if I wanted to." she replied, still trying to catch her emu.

"Hey, Lita." Randy said, joining her. "Need help?"

She glared at Matt and told Randy, "Kinda."

Then, he lifted her up on her emu, while he rode off on his. "Ride with me." he said, heading off.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "All according to plan. Team's falling apart, and I just gotta sweet talk her some more before she totally turns on all of em! Damn, I'm so cool."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Go ahead. Ride off with your new boyfriend. See if I care anymore." Matt replied.

She scoffed and headed off to join Randy.

"Did she really just run off into the sunset with HIM?" demanded Edge, who still failed to catch his emu.

"Yep." replied Matt.

"I'm gonna KILL that-"

"Just drop it, Edge. She made her choice already." he replied. "We gotta catch up with Maria and Jeff and persuade them to join our alliance. We're voting her off, one way or another. You in?"

He knuckle punched him. "Solid." he replied before getting tackled by a kangaroo. "Oh, CRAP!"

Soon, punches were being thrown, and hell was breaking loose. "OW! HEY! DUDE, SOMEONE HELP ME HERE, I'M BEING ASSAULTED!" he cried from a distance.

Matt rolled his eyes. "I'll see you there, dude." he replied, leaping on an emu and heading off.

At the rock, Show and Jericho were there waiting for the contestants...

"Want some clams, Chris?" asked Show.

"Yummers." he agreed. "That clambake thing wasn't a bad idea after all."

"Well, I wonder how long it's gonna take them to get here." he said.

"Uh, I dunno, like 2 days, maybe." he laughed evilly. "And aside from that, they got cobras, scorpions and all that crap to worry about, so some of em might not even make it here alive!" he cried, laughing crazily.

"Wow, you're a sicko. Eat your clam, dude." replied Show.

Two days later...

Everyone was still riding their emus, but were completely exhausted.

"Emu buddy? Remind me to murder Jericho when we meet up with him again?" Eve said, tired. "Where the hell did Christian go?"

Back at where they began, Christian was finally able to get himself on an emu, but the emu rode about 1.5 miles per hour. "Let the good times roll." he said dully, waving his fist in the air.

Back where the others were...

Lita was half asleep on her emu, while Randy said, "Hey, I know it's a long ride, but it'll be over soon enough. Want the rest of my water?"

Surprised that he had a beverage, she quickly snatched it out of her hand and greedily gulped it down. "Oh, uh, thanks." she blushed.

"You're welcome." he replied. "You know, it really is too bad we don't know one another that well."

"Yeah, but since you're hanging out with me, won't Edge be mad at you? He already is at me, and I kinda hate it. Even though I hate him and think of him as an idiot." she replied.

He chuckled. "Well, Edge and I've been through a lot together, so he probably won't mind. Even if he did, why would I care?" he chuckled.

Near where they were, Matt and Edge (who rode in the kangaroo's pouch) heard the conversation.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "This is a picture of Randy. *rips picture into tiny pieces and stomps on them* And THIS is a picture of Randy after I beat the holy crap outta him."

-Back outside-

* * *

"He wouldn't care if I'd mind, HUH?" Edge demanded.

"Hey, Jeff, Maria, over here!" called Matt.

"What?" asked Jeff.

"Maybe you guys'll think differently about Lita now. Check it out." he said, gesturing up ahead. "Proof that she betrayed us."

"Dude, dudette, please tell us you'll vote Lita off after seeing the two lovebirds." announced Edge.

"Ok, aside from the fact that you're riding inside a kangaroo," began Maria. "Look, you two may have some kinda personal issue with her, but Jeff and I have nothing to do with this, ok?"

"Yeah, seriously, leave us out of it." agreed Jeff. "And leave her alone, she can do whatever she wants."

"Sounds to me like you're siding with the enemy, too." replied Matt. "Do you two not remember all the crap Randy's put you through in the past?"

They were quiet.

"You know, all the times he's hurt Maria? All the times he's hurt you, Jeff?" questioned Matt.

"All those glorious fistfights you've been through, does any of this maybe, ring a bell?" asked Edge. "Do you really still want to support someone who LIKES him and betray your own team? You guys decide. Let's go, know it all." he told Matt.

"All right, Morty McMoron." agreed Matt.

"Ow, something's rubbing me the wrong way in here." Edge announced from a distance.

"Well, Jeff? What do you think we should do?" asked Maria.

He sighed. "We might need a little time to think about this, Ria." he replied.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "I don't know what to do! I mean, Randy made our lives a living hell and there's no way I'd ever betray my team for him, but Lita helped to bring Jeff and I back together! I think that's more important than revenge, right?"

Jeff: "Ok, I admit, Matt and Edge helped list the reasons why I have to beat the crud outta Orton even more, but I can't turn my back on Lita. We've been buds for years and she helped bring Maria and I back together. Those guys are totally overreacting, don't you think?"

-Back outside-

* * *

Back at the mountain, Show and Jericho were still waiting...

"Ah, nothing better than sleeping under the stars." Show announced, cooking some sticky buns. "Sticky bun?"

Jericho took one. "Yeah, of course we had to be under the stars, you broke the damned tent!" he exclaimed. "Wow, those parasites didn't show up yet? Shame."

"Don't you have at least one ounce of hope that they'll get here?" he asked.

"Nope. Chances are, they're all dead by now." Jericho announced casually.

"I don't know you anymore." Show replied, munching on a sticky bun.

"VICTORY!" Eve exclaimed, while she and her emu arrived first, followed by Randy, Lita, Jeff, Maria, Matt, and Edge, who was kicked out by the kangaroo. Then, the joey leaped out of the pouch and jumped on top of him, while beating the crap outta him, before leaving him in a crumpled heap. "Hey, yeah, you better get outta here! That kangaroo loved carrying me in it's pouch and you're just JEALOUS!" he shouted. "Hi, Jerko."

"...Hi. Well, now knowing that you parasites are still alive, looks like Team Misfits made it here first, since Christian apparently disappeared somewhere." he said.

"Where IS he?" Eve demanded.

Where he was, he still rode on the slow emu, when he noticed a snail and an old man in a powerchair ride past him.

"Hey, sonny!" he greeted, speeding off.

Christian crossed his arms. "This is my life. Welcome to it." he announced.

Back with everyone else...

"Ok, well, we're just gonna start the next challenge. Here, we're gonna go bungee jumping!" he exclaimed.

"Cool! Nice!' they exclaimed.

"Down this cliff." he finished, while everyone looked down a 500ft drop, where there was a pen of sheep down below.

They were shocked.

"Well, (BLEEP) me to hell." muttered Randy.

"Yeah. See, each member of the team will bungee jump off of this cliff and end up down there, where you have to snatch up a sheep and shear its wool off. Now, after you shear it, the sheep may or may not have your team name tattooed on it. If you find a sheep with your team's name on it, you win! Now, since Team Misfits came in first, they get this nice electric razor, for all your electric shaving needs." he explained, tossing it to them.

"OW!" Edge cried once the razor bonked his head.

"Team Peep Force 3, you get these crusty old garden shears. Enjoy." he continued, tossing it to them.

"Leave it to Christian to let us down." announced Randy. "If we lose again, he's going home next."

"No, Randy, leave him alone." Eve said, glaring at him.

"Well, you never told him our little secret, right?" he asked.

She sighed. "It's taking me everything not to tell him." she replied.

"I don't care. Just keep your mouth shut and nobody gets hurt." he replied.

She shot him a look of anger.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Why do I always gotta be left alone with this guy? Am I like, cursed or something?"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ok, worms, GO!" exclaimed Jericho.

Lita was about to go first, until Matt stepped aside and took the bungee cord. "Non traitors should go first." he said, latching it onto the hook on his leg.

She glared at him.

After that, he leaped off the steep cliff...

"WHOA!" he screamed.

...went down and missed grabbing a sheep...

"AAH!"

...and flew back up and forcefully crashed back on the surface of the cliff. *CRASH!*

"Ooh!" the team winced.

"That's freaking impossible, Jericho! The force of the cord'll make it tough to-" he began.

"Yeah, no, Einstein." he replied, munching his sticky bun.

"Next?" he asked.

Then, Lita shoved past him and latched the bungee cord, before leaping off.

"GERONIMO!" she screamed, grabbing something when she finally hopped back up and joined her team.

"What'd you get?" asked Jeff.

She looked and saw that it was a scorpion's nest! "WHOA!" she cried.

"HAHA!" Edge laughed. "Serves you-OH, SHADRACH!" he screamed when she threw the nest at him. "GET EM OFFA ME!"

"Let me try!" exclaimed Maria, latching the bungee cord onto the chain on her ankle. "Wish me luck!"

Jeff smiled and blew her a kiss.

She smiled and blew one back to him before leaping off. "WHEE...!"

When she reached down to the sheep pen, she was able to grab one, and landed back with her team. "Viola!" she smiled.

"Voila." corrected Jeff.

"Same difference!" she replied.

"Great work, Ria!" her team exclaimed.

"See, at least we have a competent member of the team who doesn't go running off with one's enemies." Matt told Lita.

"Just give me the razor!" she exclaimed, snatching it away from him.

Before she could shave though, the song bell rang; *DING DING!*

"GODDAMN IT!" Edge cried (with scorpion stings all over) while the others groaned.

"Hoorah, it's singing time! You know what to do, worms, sing your little hearts out for the sheep!" exclaimed Jericho.

Then, the song 'In The End' by Linkin Park came on, while they sheared their sheep. Edge and Matt sang this one in reaction to their anger towards Lita siding with Randy.

Edge: "(It starts with one)"

Matt: "One thing I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time…  
All I know, time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away…  
It's so unreal, didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window, trying to hold on but didn't even know, wasted it all just to  
Watch you go, I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard!"

Edge: "And got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter, I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end, It doesn't even matter…"

Matt: "One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard, in spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your property, remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so (far), things aren't the way they were before, you wouldn't even recognize me anymore, not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me  
In the end, you kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard!"

Edge: "And got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter, I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter…

I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this, there's only one thing you should know…I've put my trust in you! Pushed as far as I can go! For all this, there's only one thing you should know…I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter, I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter…"

When the song ended, Eve and Randy were watching them, while waiting for Christian to finally arrive...

"Thank God I didn't have to sing." muttered Randy.

"CHRISTIAN!" Eve exclaimed happily while he finally arrived.

"Never fear, peep numbuh 3's here..." he muttered tiredly.

"About freaking TIME!" cried Randy. "Yo, Jericho, toss us a few bungees, will you?"

Then, he quickly latched it onto Christian's ankle, and shoved him off of the cliff. "MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL!" he shouted.

"Damn you, Randy." Eve muttered.

"HEH?" Christian asked, flying down, totally unaware what was going on. After a few seconds, he arrived back up with something in his arms.

"So, where's the sheep?" demanded Randy.

"No sheep, but I found this dingo." he replied, sicking it on Randy. "Fresh meat, boy! Go and get him!"

"Grr..Damn you, Christian!" Randy cried before the dingo attacked him.

"Thanks for finally showing up to my rescue, Christian!" Eve chuckled.

"It wasn't my fault! My emu was going 1.5 miles per hour! Point is, I'm back and ready to rock." he replied.

Back with the other team, they finished shearing the first sheep, to find nothing on it.

"Damn, nothing." announced Matt. "Maria, try again since you're the best jumper."

"On it! !" she exclaimed, eventually leaping back up to bring them another sheep.

"Nothing here, neither." replied Jeff.

And while the cycle continued, she kept arriving back up with blank sheep.

"Ok, this is the 7th one! Why do we keep shooting blanks?" demanded Edge.

They all looked at him.

"No more dirty words from you." announced Matt.

On the other side, Eve was about to leap down, before Randy stopped her. "Please, let ME win for us." he said with a smirk while he headed down.

After a few minutes, he arrived back up, with a sheep in his arms. "Damn, I'm still so cool." he announced.

"When pigs fly." replied Christian.

On the other side...

"Let me try this time." announced Jeff. "I'm sure I'll be able to find one. YAHOO!" he exclaimed, leaping off...

"JEFF!" cried Maria. "...You forgot your bungee cord. Oh, no."

When he was halfway down, he realized at the last minute. "Wait, where's my-" *CRASH!* he fell face first straight into the ground. "...Ow."

"We're gonna need medic here!" called Jericho. "See what happens when you don't follow directions, kids? *flashes a smile* Right now, Team Peep Force 3 seems to be taking the lead here."

"Ok, since Rainbow Boy never made it back up, I guess it's up to me to find our winning sheep." announced Edge. "At least I won't fail and catch a scorpion nest like SOME people." he told Lita.

"Screw you, dude." she said, crossing her arms.

"HAHAHA!" he laughed, running towards the edge of the cliff.

Randy saw how he was being mean to Lita, and tossed the dingo at him, sending them both flying off of the cliff, getting tangled up. "Whoa, look, a dog!" exclaimed Edge. *dingo attacks him* "OW! BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" he cried from a distance.

While he was being tortured, Eve, Christian, and Randy quickly sheared the sheep, finding their team name tattooed on it!

"The tattoo! We found it!" exclaimed Eve.

"Wow, a record has been made! Team Peep Force 3, you guys are the winners of today's challenge!" Jericho announced.

"YES!" Christian and Eve exclaimed, giving each other a hug.

Randy turned to find Lita, and smiled towards her while she smiled back at him, while Matt saw the two sharing glances at one another.

"Hear, that, Edge? We lost! Which means that you don't get your special chair back!" Maria called to him.

He started sobbing while he and the dingo kept twirling on the cord, which was still in midair. "Oh, I hate you guys." he sobbed.

After that adventure, the plane flew off, while Team Misfits headed to the elimination ceremony...

"Well, Team Misfits, seems like the nonstop winning party finally ends. Let's recap why you're all here. Matt was too jealous to focus on the challenge..." began Jericho.

"I'm not jealous." he muttered.

"...Jeff didn't even make it back up..."

He was wearing a head wrap and had on a cast, along with a black eye and multiple scratches, while he just glared at him.

"...Maria kept bringing in blank sheep..."

"Hmph! YOU try bungee jumping 500ft down to a possible death!" she snapped.

"No. Edge, well, was a moron as usual and got it on with a dingo..." he continued.

"You mean, that wasn't a dog?...What's a dingo?" he asked.

"Yeah. And Lita + Randy = NO." Jericho finished.

She shot him a look.

"So, friends, it's time to break up this little family here. Time to vote off who you want out of the competition!" he exclaimed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "What the hell's a dingo?" *stamps*

Lita: *looks pissed and then stamps*

Maria: "Hmm..." *stamps*

Jeff: "Hahaha." *stamps*

Matt: *smiles evilly and furiously stamps around, while Show's forced to escort him out, but he comes back and stamps some more*

-Back outside-

* * *

"All right, worms, you voted, and here are the results. One vote for Lita." he began.

Matt and Edge smiled.

"One vote for Matt."

Lita smiled.

"One for Lita."

The boys smiled again.

"One for Matt."

She smiled.

"And the last one for Edge." he finished.

"HEY!" he cried. "I didn't do anything!"

"Well, point is, we got two votes each for Matt and Lita. And we always solve all ties with a tiebreaker!" he exclaimed, revealing two caged baby koala bears.

"Aww!" exclaimed Maria.

"Ok, now Matt and Lita. Here's the tiebreaker. You both have to feed these koala bears these eucalyptus leaves..."

"Sounds easy enough." replied Matt.

"...using your mouths." he finished with an evil smile. "These guys are violent little eaters, too, so don't be afraid if your faces gets scratched to shreds. The person who feeds their bear successfully, stays. Ready, FEED!"

Matt held the edge of the bowl with his teeth and leaned in towards the cage, but the koala attacked him before he could start feeding it. Lita did the same, but successfully got the koala to eat its plate. "Yes!" she cheered, scratches on her face.

"NO!" cried Matt. "That wasn't fair! I can't leave before HE does!" he cried, pointing towards Jeff.

He smiled and shared a kunckle punch with Maria, since Lita stayed.

"Sorry, dude, it's time for you to go!" Jericho exclaimed, giving him a parachute and shoving him out of the plane.

Matt was able to cling onto the door, though, and snatched Jeff's leg. "If I'm going down, then so are you! COME HERE!" he cried, dragging him to the door.

"NO!" Lita and Maria cried, tugging him back inside.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M INJURED!" Jeff cried, kicking himself away to safety while Matt flew out of the plane. "Yeah, PBBT!" he stuck his tongue out at him from the door.

"Oh, little brother, you are so dead when I see you again." he said, crossing his arms while he floated down.

"...And so ends another peaceful episode of TWWT. Don't you just value all this family love?...Well, it ain't happening next week! See you later, TV Land, Jericho, OUT!" he exclaimed.


	27. Episode 17: Sweden

Total WWE, World Tour: Swedish As An Arrow

Episode #17

"HYPOCRITES! It's the Madonna of Sports Entertainment here, Chris Jericho with another crazy episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we traveled to good ol Austraila, where the day's challenge involved our friends racing emus up to the Blue Mountains, where they eventually had to bungee jump off of Hanging Rock, grab a sheep, and shear it to look for their team name tattooed on it. Matt and Edge formed a mutiny against Lita, while Jeff and Maria decided to stand beside her. Randy continued keeping Eve quiet, while sweet talking Lita, who could possibly be falling for him! And that only made her two ex-boyfriends even more pissed. Christian took forever to arrive with his emu friend, Team Misfits had a tough time finding the right sheep, Edge had some fun with a dingo, and Jeff got a brutal injury after a faceplant to the ground! At the end, Team Peep Force 3 achieved success once again, resulting in Team Misfits' trip to the elimination ceremony. There, two votes went to Matt, and two to Lita, and the two had to compete in a brutal tiebreaker to determine who'd be going home. Lita was the successful one, ruining Matt and Edge's plan for her elimination, and eliminating Matt next. This week, how will Edge deal with Randy? Will Lita actually fall for Randy? And just how many more times will I mention Randy? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!

* * *

In the Losers' section of the Jumbo Jet of Fun...

"Life is jank." announced Edge. "First, we lose the last challenge, then, I find out that my best friend stole my ex-girlfriend, and NOW I don't get my chair, and I'm stuck talking to you!"

He was talking to a rat.

"Do you follow me?" he asked it.

It threw a chunk of cheese at him.

"Ow! Fine, go away! I'm too good to talk to you, anyway!" he cried, then grumpily taking a seat on the bench. He saw that Lita was sitting across from him, and crossed his arms. She rolled her eyes.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "I don't even understand why Edge is all angry and jealous. We were through years ago, and I pretty much hate the annoying perv. Or, maybe it's because I'm hanging out with his best friend. I dunno."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Hey, Lita." Jeff greeted, joining her along with Maria.

"Oh, guys, I've been meaning to talk to you." she replied.

"Yeah?" asked Maria.

"I just wanted to say thanks for sticking by me the last few days. I mean, while Matt and Edge were against me." she replied. "You guys really are true friends."

"That's what we're for!" she smiled back.

"So, Jeff, you feeling better from before? Y'know, after you faceplanted into the ground?" asked Lita.

"Yeah, thanks to Maria. I gotta admit, though, that fall was kinda sweet. Like a rush for me, y'know?" he replied with a smile.

After that, Randy came into the area.

"Oh, no." Jeff muttered.

He glanced at Lita and gestured for her to meet him.

"Uh, guys, I gotta go to the confessional...or somewhere..." she said, rushing off.

"Ok, that was awkward." announced Maria.

Meanwhile, after seeing them go off together, Edge angrily began chewing on a few strands of his hair. "Num num num num num..."

"Uh...Edge?" asked Jeff.

"WHAT?" he demanded.

"...Never mind, I'm not gonna want to know." he replied, waving dismissively.

"Nom nom nom nom..." he continued chewing.

In another section of the plane, Lita finally caught up with Randy...

"Hey, cutie." he greeted.

"Hey. What do you need?" she asked.

"Just felt like seeing you again. Got you a present." he said, handing her a lollipop. "It's rainbow flavored."

She blushed. "Never had one of these in years, but thanks." she replied.

"No prob. So, uh, too bad that Matt had to get eliminated, huh? Your team's been on a run of bad luck for a couple of weeks, I see." he said.

"Look, he ended up getting himself eliminated. You might not believe this, but he tried to get the whole team to eliminate me the other day." she explained.

"Oh? If you were eliminated, I wouldn't get to see you anymore and I'd be devastated." he joked.

She smirked. "Dude, you're a man. Toughen up, will ya?" she asked.

"Ha. Those Exes are trouble for ya. I should know more than anyone." he replied.

"Exactly. And Edge won't get off of my case after we kissed, it's annoying!" she cried.

Meanwhile, Edge, Jeff, and Maria all peeked to hear what was going on.

"Well, he didn't deserve you in the first place. You know how much of a moron he is." Randy replied.

"I'M A WH-MMMM!" Edge cried before Jeff and Maria covered his mouth and dragged him away.

The two looked back for a second, but then brushed it off.

Meanwhile...

"Did you two hear what he said about me?" demanded Edge.

"He called you a moron." Jeff chuckled.

"STOP LAUGHING!" he shouted. "That Randy went too far, and he's gonna pay. Be sure of that. I'm still up for eliminating Lita, you guys with me?"

They left.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "I'm so miserable. *sobs* I just want my damned chair back!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Soon after that, the plane arrived at their destination, but when it landed, it landed on a sheet of ice, sending the plane sliding all over the place!

"HEEELLLPPPP...!" everyone cried.

After that...

"Hey, parasites, what's cooking?" Jericho greeted, wearing his winter coat.

"I'm cold." Eve said, shivering.

"Hey, Lita. You look a little chilly, mind if I help?" Randy asked, wrapping his arms around her.

She chuckled and blushed. "Stop." she replied.

Eve, along with Edge and his team, glared towards them.

To make Lita jealous, Edge snatched Maria and wrapped his arms around her. "Mind if I keep you warm, Maria?" he asked, loud enough for them to hear him.

"HEY!" Jeff cried, punching Edge out and taking Maria back to him. "Touch her again and I'm gonna do a lot worse."

"So...Yeah, there's nothing like a nice chill to wake ya up, eh?" Jericho asked happily.

"Where the hell are we, anyway, Alaska?" asked Christian. "Do we get to go ice fishing?"

"Uh bup bup. CLAM fishing?" corrected Edge.

"Up bup bup, NO WAY! We're in Sweden, home of IKEA, an all life long welfare system, and high taxes!" he exclaimed.

"Why do you tell us all this crap if nobody really cares about it?" asked Jeff.

"Zip it, Rainbow Brite!" he snapped.

"D-Do we get jackets, at least?" asked Maria. "Whatever happened to the jackets you ordered for us when we were still in Canada?"

"I canceled the order. You parasites gotta live to embrace what nature has to offer, go with the flow, capture the serene essence of-" he continued, while everyone else stared at him.

"I heard this on an Almond Joy commercial once." announced Edge.

"So! Today, your challenge will involve you working with these." Jericho announced, revealing two piles of wooden boards and tools.

"Useless junk!" exclaimed Christian. "Aww, thanks, Jerko!"

"You're welcome! Here, each team will have a pile to work with, and you have to put this stuff together to build something. Here are the instructions on how to put this thing together..." he began.

Randy was about to snatch it, until Jericho tore them up to pieces. "HA!" he laughed.

"I hate you." Randy muttered.

"Yeah, ok. No instructions to help you. Whoever builds the correct thing they're supposed to build, gets the advantage in the second part of the challenge. So, worms, CAN WE BUILD IT?"

They looked at him.

"YES, WE CAN!" he finished.

"You still watch Bob the Builder, dude?" asked Edge.

"Uh, shyeah. It's what all the COOL people do. Now get to work." he replied. "Show, where's that frappa-mocha-latte-chino?"

Soon after that, both teams got to work...

"How does he expect us to work with all this?" asked Lita.

"Yeah, you wouldn't know, would ya? Since you're so involved with your new boyfriend Randy, who is now, MY EX BEST FRIEND!" Edge shouted the last part to him.

Randy chuckled.

"Edge, will you just lay off and help us build this thing?" asked Jeff. "Ooh, what's this thing?" he said, picking up a giant wrench shaped thing after that, he unintentionally turned it around, which bonked Edge on the head, nearly knocking him out. "OW! Ok, why's my head always a target?"

Jeff laughed. "This is gonna be a fun day." he announced.

On the other side...

"All right, so what should we try to build?" asked Eve.

"Well, how about a boat?" asked Christian. "This whole thing's a sheet of ice, and god forbid it breaks and the water drowns us all, at least we'll have a boat to keep us up!"

"Good plan. But I suggest we keep it a secret from the other team, so's that they don't get the advantage." replied Randy.

"Oh? But I thought that you wanted Lita to stay around. What if her team loses and she gets eliminated?" asked Eve.

"I don't care!" he replied, making sure that she wasn't listening.

"You don't?" she asked, surprised.

"No! I'm only pretending to get on her good side so's that she can learn to trust me, and turn on her team. That way, they'll all fall apart, I'll dump her in the end, and we can guarantee ourselves a spot in the finals." he explained.

"Wow, as much as I hate his bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exasperated...

5 minutes later...

"...hateful, ill-tempered, turbulent, uptight self," he continued.

Randy sighed.

"You're good." he finished.

"But you're hurting Lita, and-wait, what do I care, I hate her. Go ahead with your plan." Eve agreed, crossing her arms. "Hope it doesn't blow up in your face at the end." she said with a smirk.

He glared at her. "Well, as long as some people _keep their mouth shut, _there shouldn't be any issues." he replied.

"...So, let's build a boat thingy!" exclaimed Christian.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "You know what? I'm sick and tired of Randy trying to scare me. He can't hurt BOTH Christian and I if it's two against one. I'm totally telling Christian my secret whether Randy likes it or not. I mean, what else can he do except scream at people?"

-Back outside-

* * *

With the other team...

"Raft!" argued Jeff.

"Giant meatball!" cried Edge.

"RAFT!" he argued.

"MEATBALL!" he argued back.

"What are you guys fighting about?" asked Maria.

"I think we should build a raft. I mean, it's a lot easier." replied Jeff.

"And I say we build a giant meatball! See, I think.." began Edge.

"No, you don't." Maria replied, taking Jeff's hand and leading him away.

"Ooh, BURN!" Jeff smiled, while Edge growled.

"Well, I don't care. I'm gonna build my giant meatball and-whoa, what are you doing?" he asked Lita, who was already working on something.

"Voila." she announced.

"Oh, great, you're finished?" asked Maria. "Show us!"

Then, she revealed that she built a huge replica of Randy's head.

Silence.

"You like?" she asked with a smile.

Randy saw from the other side and smiled evilly. "Wow, she's really falling for me, huh?" he asked.

"No, that's totally out of proportion. Doesn't your head, like, have that creepy little vein popping out of the side, and-" began Christian.

"Shut up, Christian!" he snapped.

Meanwhile...

"Oh, dear God almighty." Edge said, slapping his forehead. "No, nononono. Tear this piece of crap down right now!"

"No! Back off, dipwad!" Lita snapped, before grabbing one of the huge tools and swinging it towards him. "How dare you call him a piece of crap?"

"He stole you from me." Edge replied in a whisper, his eyes bugging out.

"I don't want you anymore!" she replied, chasing him around the head with the weapon while he ran away. "Stay still so I can hit ya!"

"Run away!" Edge exclaimed.

Stunned, Jeff and Maria watched the madness.

"Well, this isn't getting us anywhere." announced Maria. "What now?"

"Only one thing to do. JOIN IN!" Jeff announced, grabbing a weapon and bonking Edge with it when he sped by at the wrong time. "OW!" he cried. "Oh, that does, it, Rainbow Brite. It's ON NOW!"

Then, Lita and Jeff all tried to attack Edge with the tools while he tried to fight them back, all while poor Maria looked on, confused.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "We're probably never gonna win another challenge again, are we?"

-Back outside-

* * *

"You two done yet?" Randy called to Eve and Christian, who were working on the boat.

"Kinda. And you're not helping us because?" asked Christian.

"I'm busy watching my favorite soap opera. All My Murders. Hahahaha." he chuckled, watching the other team fight.

*DING DING!*

Jeff was in the middle of headlocking Edge, while Lita was about to twist Edge's leg around, and they stopped.

"YAHOO! It's singing time once again!" announced Jericho.

"Well, damn." grumbled Randy.

"And make it a disco theme. I'm feeling retro today." he smiled.

"You ARE retro, dude." announced Christian.

"Are you saying I'm OLD?" demanded Jericho.

After that, ABBA's 'Dancing Queen' came on, while the gang each wore 70's sparkly jumpsuits. Eve in orange, Christian in green, Randy in purple (and an afro wig), Edge in silver, Maria in black, Jeff in blue, and Lita in red. Jeff played bass guitar, Christian played keyboard, Edge just had his own fun, and Randy decided to do nothing by choice.

Lita/Maria/Eve: "Oooh! You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen…"

Maria: "Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king…"  
Eve: "Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance..."

Lita/Eve/Maria: "You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen…"

Lita: "You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave them burning and then you're gone  
Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance..."

Lita/Maria/Eve: "You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen…"

After the song ended...

"Well, that was weird. You done yet?" Randy asked Eve and Christian.

"YOU MEAN WITH OUR BOAT?" Christian said loudly.

"Damn it, Christian." he muttered.

"Boat?" asked Maria.

"Secret's ruined now." Randy said, revealing his team's perfectly built boat.

The other team looked shocked.

"And you wanted to build a goddamned meatball." Jeff muttered to Edge.

"Well, you wanted to build a stupid raft!" he snapped back.

"Well, parasites, bravo. I guess you do know how to follow directions after all." Jericho announced, looking at the Peep's boat. "And for winning, Peep Force 3, you get a prize!"

"Hash brownies?" asked Eve.

The boys looked at her.

"I'm hungry." she replied innocently.

"No, you get THESE!" Jericho exclaimed, tossing them a heavy bag.

Christian opened it. "Rocks?" he asked, indifferent.

"Well, whoop de dee! What the hell are we supposed to use these for?" demanded Randy.

"Keep them handy. You'll see soon enough." he replied.

"Ooh, ooh, since this is a ship, can I be the captain?" asked Christian.

"Why you?-I-I mean, sure. Why not?" replied Randy.

"Whoa, I'm lost here. Why are you being so generous to me?" he asked. "Wait, you're not high again, are you?"

He chuckled. "No. See, we won the last challenge because of teamwork, and it's only fair to do the same this time. You lead the way, dude." he replied.

He shrugged. "WOOOO!" he cheered, so loudly that the ice began to break! "Whoopsie."

"Well, it's a good thing we built this thing. Everyone in!" exclaimed Randy.

While they got settled in their boat, the other team had to think of a plan.

"Crap, the ice is breaking. What do we do?" asked Lita.

"Just sit here and wait for us to freeze in a watery grave?" asked Edge.

"Hey, they made a boat, so why can't we?" asked Maria.

"But we're already done building." replied Jeff.

"No, I mean, the inside of this thing's empty, right?" she asked.

"Just like Edge's head, yeah." agreed Lita.

"I'm not gonna reply to that statement." Edge announced.

"So, all we gotta do is cut the top off of that thing and we can sail inside, too!" she finished.

"Great idea, babe!" Jeff exclaimed, giving her a kiss.

"YES! Let us rip open Randy's head!" announced Edge.

"Edge, you MORON!" Lita cried, chasing him.

Meanwhile, the Peeps were sailing off...

"So, Jericho told us we had to sail to Big Show to get something, right?" asked Christian.

"Yep." replied Eve.

"Cool. Uh, so, earlier. What were you guys chatting about exactly?" he asked.

"What are you talking about, Christian?" Randy asked, looking out at the river.

"Uh, that's Captain to you. Anyways, you guys were all, 'Well, as long as some people _keep their mouth shut, _there shouldn't be any issues.', and Eve was all like, 'Hope it doesn't blow up in your face at the end'. Maybe it was in reverse order, but whatever, what was that all about?" he asked.

"Nothing that you need to know about." Randy replied.

"Well, I think that I was trying to say-" began Eve.

"AHEM!" Randy cleared his throat loudly, shooting a look at her.

"Never mind, I forget." she said, rolling her eyes.

"Ok, seriously, things around here are all weird! I think something's up between you two, and I want in on it." Christian announced, while Randy glanced towards Eve and she glanced back towards Randy.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Damn you, Christian!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Soon after that, the Peep's boat arrived to a pier with Chef Big Show and Jericho...

"Show!" greeted Christian. "Whatcha got for us today?"

"Well, I wanted some hash brownies." he replied.

"Oh, my god, me too!" agreed Eve.

"They really are delectable. Anyways, I got this cannon for ya." he said, dropping it inside.

"Ooh, a weapon." Randy said, intrigued.

"Ok, is this something I should call the cops for?" asked Show.

"Ignore it." replied Eve.

"Hey, I want camera time, too!" Jericho announced. "And along with that cannon, you get these! Big Show's famous Swedish meatballs!" he exclaimed, holding up a bag of hard, black crusty meatballs.

"Wow. These could kill someone. They're perfect, now, let's go." Randy said, snatching the bag and heading back in his boat.

"And, you get this...hat thing." Show said, handing them a Viking cap.

"Ooh! I'm captain, can I wear it?" Christian exclaimed.

Eve giggled and put it on his head. "Lead the way, Captain!" she exclaimed.

"AHOY!" he exclaimed, leaping on the boat with her.

"Hey, worms, the next part of the challenge is to win by either capturing the red flag attached to that buoy, or by destroying the other team's boat! SKOJA, DU LITTEN HYCKLARE!, jajajajajajajaja!" called Jericho.

"Since when can you speak Swedish?" asked Show.

"That was Swedish?" he asked, confused. "I thought it was German."

"Oh, you're screwed up in so many ways." he muttered back.

"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go-" began Edge.

"SHUT UP!" the other three cried, while they sailed by.

"No, they go 'round and round'." he finished.

After that, they reached Big Show and Jericho next.

"Ok, worms, we're not gonna explain again, take this cannon, no, don't ask me how you can use it, and either head for the red flag on the buoy or destroy the other team's boat, ok? Now, go away." Jericho said quickly, throwing them back in their boat.

"...What?" asked Jeff.

Later...

"There was a farmer, had a dog, and bingo was his name o! B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and bingo was his name-OH!" Edge cried while Lita dumped a bucket of water over his head.

"Shut the (BLEEP) up before I beat you unconscious!" cried Lita.

"Oh, why should I even listen to you, Girl Who Runs Off With Her Ex's Best Friend?" he demanded.  
"Well, I know one thing. Randy's more of a man than you were." she replied.

"Ooh!" cried Maria.

"BURN!" called Jeff.

"Oh, REALLY?" Edge demanded.

With the other team...

"Well, we just might have this contest in the bag again." announced Randy. "Other team's way back there, we're near the flag, so we're good."

Then, the boat started turning around.

"Heh? CHRISTIAN!" he shouted.

He was steering the boat. "What? I feel like we're pirates and we should at least psych the other team out." he replied. "And it's Captain to you."

"Look, Captain Crunch, we're in the lead, don't turn back!" snapped Randy.

"Hey, Christian's the leader here, let him do what he has to do, all right?" demanded Eve.

"You stay outta this!" he snapped at her.

"Yo, don't yell at the lady, all right?" Christian asked back. "Now, let's head back and attack the other team. Remember, we can also destroy their boat in order to win."

He smiled. "All right. Do what you gotta do, Captain Ahab." he replied.

Meanwhile...

"Hey, is that the other team's boat?" asked Maria.

"Looks like it." agreed Jeff. "Wonder why they're headed this way."

"I am TOO just as much of a man as Randy is!" Edge continued arguing.

"Lies." Lita replied.

"Don't patronize me like that!" he cried.

"Do you even know what patronize means?" she asked.

"Who cares? Don't patronize me!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile...

"Time to fire at will." Christian said, loading the cannon with a meatball. "Oh, so THAT's why we need these rocks. For a fire!"

While he tried to start a fire with them, Eve looked back at Randy and then at Christian.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Screw what Randy told me. I'm gonna tell Christian everything, and just watch everything blow up in Randy's face! WOOHOO!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Hey, Christian?" she asked. "I got something important to tell you."

Randy looked back at her.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Remember when Evan was eliminated that time and we had no idea who the third person was, y'know, that voted him off?" she asked.

"Eve!" snapped Randy.

"Yeah..." he replied.

"Well, I've been keeping this inside for a while, and I'm tired of it. I gotta tell you." she continued.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Randy demanded.

"Tell me what?" asked Christian.

"I was the third person that voted him off." she replied.

He looked stunned. "What? Eve, why?" he asked.

"Don't tell Captain Hook over there a damned word!"

"Because before I could vote, Randy threatened that he'd hurt both you and I if I didn't vote off Evan!" she exclaimed. "Christian, I couldn't tell you because I was protecting you. I feel horrible about what I've done, but what I DON'T feel horrible about is ratting out this SNAKE!"

Randy just shook his head.

Christian looked shocked, too. "Oh, really? Eve, you didn't do anything wrong, don't worry about it. Now, as for you, Randy..." he said, approaching him. "Threatening to hurt us, eh?"

"Oh, what are you gonna do about it, Captain America?" he replied.

"THIS!" he snapped, grabbing one of the meatballs and was about to whack him with it, until Randy snatched another one and tossed it back towards him, except that he tossed it too much and it blew towards the other team's ship!

*BOOM!*

"HELP! THEY'RE SHOOTING! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!" screamed Edge.

"It's from the other team." replied Lita, seeing the meatball and the gaping hole on the side of their boat.

"Well, maybe we should fight back before we sink and drown?" asked Maria.

"I'm on it!" Jeff exclaimed, loading up the cannon. "Wait, how are we supposed to launch this thing?"

"Hold on." Lita replied, grabbing a board and placing it on one end of the cannon. "Just jump on it and it should launch."

She, Maria, and Jeff all jumped on the board, igniting the cannon and shooting a meatball towards the other team's boat, which knocked off their mast!

"They're attacking! Randy, I'll deal with you in a minute, we gotta take em down first. Eve, hand me a meatball!" cried Christian.

"Sure!" she replied, handing him some.

He launched one back towards the other team, which impaled their boat and almost knocked Edge out in the process. "Oh, It's ON NOW! This is for YOU, Randy, you backstabbing TRAITOR!" he cried, loading the cannon and using two sticks to make a fire.

"Like that ever works-oh, it did." Jeff announced once Edge lit up the string at the end of the cannon, sending another meatball towards them.

It almost hit their boat, while nearly hitting Randy in the head. "Wow, they don't know when to quit, do they?" he asked.

"Shut up. We're gonna have to bring out the big guns. Eve, launch me." Christian said, taking his place on the inside of the cannon.

"What?" she exclaimed in shock.

Meanwhile...

"Quick, you guys! While they're stalling, let's just find the flag before they destroy our boat any more." announced Maria.

"Yeah, good idea." agreed Jeff.

While they sailed away, the other team was still planning their next move.

"Wow, Christian, I knew you weren't that smart, but this is a new level for you." Randy announced, crossing his arms.

"Shut up, buttmunch. Eve, you ready?" he asked.

"Ok, Evil Kinevel." she replied, igniting the cannon.

Meanwhile...

"We're almost there! EEE!" Maria exclaimed while they approached the flag.

"I have a chance to get my chair back!" cried Edge. "BITE ME, RANDY! Cause a winner's returning to his throne."

*BOOM!*

"What was that?" asked Lita.

"YEEEAAAHHHH...!" Christian screamed, flying towards them.

"Christian?" asked Maria.

"Buddy?" asked Edge.

"I thought I was supposed to be the only high flyer around here." Jeff replied, crossing his arms.

"SORRY, GUYS!" he cried, cannonballing towards their ship. "But things are gonna blow up!"

Everyone looked in shock while he headed for their boat.

Soon after that...

*BOOM! CRASH!*

Their boat was totaled and everyone was in the water.

"Well, this is sad." announced Maria.

"WE WIN!" cheered Christian.

"NO!" Edge cried.

"Well said, Captain Kirk!" Jericho announced, sailing alongside him in a boat. "You guys destroyed the Misfits' boat, so The Peep Force 3 wins for the second week in a row!"

"YES!" cheered Eve.

"I still would've clocked him out with that meatball." Randy muttered.

"I AM VICTORIOUS! ALL HAIL CAPTAIN CHARISMA!" Christian cheered.

"Ok, dude, that's enough gloating." Jericho said quickly.

Later that day, everyone was back on the plane...

"Hey, Lita." Randy called, gesturing for her to join him.

"Hey, Randy. I sorta, you know, in a weird way missed you." she said with a half smile.

"I missed you, too. It's too bad you guys are up for elimination again." he said.

"Well, I think I'm as good as safe. Jeff and Maria are by my side, so I think Edge is outta here, without a doubt." she replied.

"Nice!" he chuckled. "Good luck out there, and, by the way, I'm quite flattered by the wooden head of mine that you carved."

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Are you serious? That head looked nothing like me! She could never capture my charming good looks. Only my Michelle could. I miss ya, babe."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Aw, y'know, it was the least I could do." she chuckled.

He smiled and playfully tapped the tip of her nose. "Well, I gotta get going. See you around." he replied, heading off.

She blushed. "I will." she smiled.

Later, during the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, Team Misfits, welcome back to Judgment Day." announced Jericho.

"The Pay Per View?" asked Jeff.

"NO! Now, you guys decide amongst yourselves who you want outta here." he said.

"Edge." Lita, Maria, and Jeff all replied.

"I hate you all." he said grumpily. "I'm not moving."

"Well, Edge, you don't have to, because today's challenge was a reward challenge!" exclaimed Jericho.

"I'M STAYIN!" he cheered.

The other three groaned. "Damn." Jeff muttered.

"So, what does the other team get for winning?" asked Maria.

"Special Swedish massages from Hans Swisher...hogen. He's the top masseuse in Sweden, you know." he explained.

"Did you make that name up?" asked Edge.

"Nobody needs to tell you anything!" he exclaimed, speeding away. "Later, TV Land! Jericho, OUT!"

"...What, now?" asked Jeff, confused.


	28. TWWT Chatterbox 3

TWWT Chatterbox 3: Return of the Wild Guests/Dave to the Rescue

Episode #18

_"Because you had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_You had to open up your mouth, _

_You had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_All your friends were so knocked out,_

_You had to have the last word, last night,_

_You know what everything's about,_

_You had to have a white hot spotlight,_

_You had to be a big shot last night..."_

Everyone in the audience cheered as Morrison and Candice arrived onstage.

"Thanks, everyone, thank you!" exclaimed Candice. "And welcome to another edition of the TWWT Chatterbox!"

"That's right, our guests today have revenge and love on the brain. First up, three of our most recent eliminated contestants, Evan, Matt, and CM Punk are in the house!" exclaimed Morrison.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"And aside from that-*phone rings*-hold on. Yeah?...WHAT?...Whoa, he did WHAT?...Now?...Aw, Jeez...All right, I'll be right there." he said, hanging up.

"John, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Bad news. Natalya's been cleared to leave the psychiatric facility any time she wishes, and an anonymous caller just told me that he wanted Nattie freed!" he exclaimed.

The audience gasped.

"If some of you don't know, Natalya is Randy Orton's number one fan. The girl can't keep her hands off of him, and last season it got so bad that he had her admitted into St. Illness's Psychiatric Ward!" exclaimed Candice.

"And if that wasn't bad enough, she's found a way to kidnap my Melina." Morrison added. "So, I gotta go out and save her."

"Hey, aren't you gonna introduce the rest of us?" demanded Michelle.

"Oh, yeah. Those are...those other guys. Anyway!" he continued.

Michelle scoffed.

"Hey, everyone!" interrupted Kelly. "I'm charging $1 for anyone who wants to sign my cast! First come, first serve!"

"But, your cast is covered in nail polish." replied Mickie.

"So?" she asked.

"It'll be hard for anyone to sign that thing with nail polish on it." she continued.

"...You want me to sign yours?" she asked sympathetically. "It looks kinda blank."

"Not the only blank thing around here." Michelle muttered.

"BACK to business matters, I gotta go out there and rescue Melina, and *sigh* bring back Natalya." announced Morrison.

"Hey, you want me to come with you?" asked Dave. "You might need backup. And I'm bringing the food from Arby's."

"Uh, all right then. Let's get going." he said, heading off with him. "See you guys soon. I hope."

"Yo, Shawn?" whispered Hunter. "Let's hitch a ride with em!"

"Why us? I just want to sit comfortably and enjoy the show." he replied.

"NO! This could be our chance to get outta here and join in on the fun!" he exclaimed.

"You know you're only doing this for the food, right?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah. Now, come on before they leave without us!" Hunter replied, sneaking away along with Shawn.

"If we get arrested again, this is your fault, not mine!" he cried back.

"And while the guys are out, we're gonna follow them along via satellite!" exclaimed Candice. "So, without further ado, let's bring out today's guests! First up, he's the guy who found love and got smashed by a plane all at the same time, Evan!"

_"Yeah! Some are born to fight, Some are born to sin, I was born to light the fire, All that you fear..."_

Everyone cheered while he came out, got himself tangled in the curtains, almost knocked over an intern, and stumbled over to the couch, while the audience laughed like crazy. Next, he put one of his feet up, accidentally knocking a few drinks through the air and landing on the eliminated contestants.

"OH! My Gucci dress!" cried Michelle.

He tried to help set the drinks back, while the intern pushed him away and finished the job himself.

"...Uh, you settled there, Evan?" Candice asked once he settled down.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I-WHOA!" he cried, leaning back too much so that he and the couch tipped over. The intern ran back out and tried to pull him up, while a huge microphone lowered down. The intern got Evan and the couch back up, while the cord from the microphone wrapped around his neck. "AAAHHH!" he cried, while the intern got the cord off of him and shoved the microphone away, before he looked at him like he was insane while he left the stage.

Everyone else stared at him, while Mickie looked sympathetic.

"...Go on." finished Evan.

"...Let's bring out our next guest! He's been called a dictator and ended up getting his team blown up, CM Punk!" announced Candice.

_"YeeeeAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh...yeah...All I ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled, it is in my hands, I must not fail, I must not fail!...even through the darkest days, this fire burns always, this fire burns, always..."_

"WHOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

Punk reluctantly arrived. "Is it safe?" he asked.

"Yeah, the mess is done, come on out!" she exclaimed.

"Kel." he smiled, seeing her.

"Punky!" she exclaimed, quickly limping to join him before wrapping him in a passionate kiss. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too! Hey, I got you a souvenir from Greece." he said, handing her his other gold medal.

"Aww! How sweet, how'd you know I love shiny things?" she asked, smiling.

"I just do. Now we got matching neck gear!" he exclaimed.

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Can we please move on from this gagfest?" asked Michelle.

"You're just jealous because your Randy's out in the world flirting with other girls!" she replied with a smile.

"Not true! He loves me, he's just playing those other princesses to trick them." she replied, smiling back.

"Ok, ignoring that she's over there, let's bring out our third and final guest, Matt!" announced Candice.

_"Oh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh...whoo!...I can slap a tornado, I can dry up a sea, yeah. When I live for the moment, there ain't no ain't knowing me..."_

"WHOOO!" they cheered, while he grumpily came out.

"Ok, before anyone says anything, my brother needs to be here, NOT me!" he exclaimed. "See, he's made it further than me last season, he WON the first season, while I was unfairly eliminated, my so called team turned on me a few weeks ago, and-"

"Dude, you're just jealous of Lita. Case closed, drop it." interrupted Punk.

"Yeah, well, YOU were the one all flirty with her!" he exclaimed.

He raised an eyebrow. "No, I wasn't. And even if I was, that was the past. Kelly's my future." he replied.

"CM!" she smiled.

"AWW!" exclaimed the audience.

Matt snarled and took his place on the other side of the room.

"Ok, everyone, before we move on, let's check in on Dave and Morrison's journey to find Natalya via satellite. Take a watch." Candice said, gesturing to a monitor.

* * *

Out in the city, Morrison and Dave were driving along, searching for the psychiatric ward...

"And how did that looney case kidnap Melina?" asked Dave.

"I dunno, she probably sent a guard to do it. What matters here is that we find Mel." replied Morrison. "Who'd even want to have Nattie released from that place?"

"I don't know." Dave replied, munching on some fries. "Must've been one bad mother-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Hunter and Shawn cried at the same time.

Startled, Morrison stopped the car. "Shawn? Hunter?" he demanded.

"Also known as DX." interrupted Hunter.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Well, we wanted to come for the road trip!" he replied.

"Hunter came for the food." replied Shawn.

Dave handed him the bag. "Still got a couple of sandwiches and fries in there." he said.

"Sweet! Thanks, man!" he exclaimed. "Want one, Shawn?"

"No." he said dully, crossing his arms.

"Look, if you guys aren't here to help the cause, Dave'll be forced to throw you outta the car." announced Morrison.

"No worries, we'll help you find Melina and get Nattie back." replied Hunter.

"Besides, if Nattie's dangerous, you got 4 extra hands to help you with!" added Shawn.

They kept driving along until Dave said, "Look, there's the place."

"St. Illness. Bingo." Morrison smiled.

"Ok, who in their right mind would name a place St. Illness?" asked Hunter. "It's like, naming a dog, Dog. Or naming a cat, Cat, you know? Or like naming a squirrel-"

"Oh, Hunter." Shawn sighed hopelessly, putting a hand on his shoulder, while they got outta the car.

"All right, let's go." Morrison announced, but when he opened the door, two heavily armed guards stood in their way. "License and registration?" one of them asked.

"HEH?" asked Shawn.

"Look, we need to get inside to rescue Morrison's girlfriend and break out a crazy obsessed lunatic!" exclaimed Dave. "Let us in!"

They glared at them.

"Don't shoot." Shawn whined.

A few seconds later...

"AAAHH!" the guys cried, landing on the other side of the street.

"Oh, thanks, Dave, it's a great idea telling two armed guards that we're here to break out a crazy obsessed lunatic! Way to go, man. Way to go." Hunter exclaimed.

"Hey, don't yell at me! And give me back that food!" he snapped back.

"Guys, can we keep it together here? We have to find the girls and get back to the show before it ends! Now, we're finding a way to bust in this place, are you with me?" demanded Morrison.

They all looked at one another and smiled. "BOOYAH!" they agreed.

* * *

Back at the studio...

"All right, looks like the boys are ready for war. Now, instead of the usual interviews we give our guests, we're gonna try something a little bit different today." announced Candice.

"WHAT?" demanded Matt. "I don't get to talk about-"

"Nobody wants to listen to your problems!" everyone cried at the same time.

"I can't stand any of you." he mumbled.

"Ok, now today, each and every one of you have a chance to rejoin in on the competition!" she exclaimed.

"Whoa!-Seriously-WOOHOO!" the eliminated contestants exclaimed.

"Yeah. Now we're gonna play a game, involving these lovely joke cans! You guys gotta catch one, and they can either be filled with a joke worm, or the golden ticket. You ready?" asked Candice.

"Wait, I don't know if I'm still allowed to compete cause of my leg-" announced Mickie.

"GO!" she finished, tossing can after can at them.

"I MUST join Randy!" Michelle exclaimed after a can bonked her across the head. "OW!" She opened it to find a joke worm spring her out of her seat! "*sobs*"

Kelly tried to catch one, but it bonked her on the nose. "OW!" She opened it to find a golden ticket-"Ah!"-and then some peanuts inside. "Ooh, munchies!" she ate them, but then started choking violently, holding her throat.

"Kel!" Punk cried. "HEIMLICH MANEUVER!" he said before doing just that, saving her.

"Thanks, babe!" she exclaimed.

Punk caught one, and opened it to find a joke worm springing out at his face. "Well, this is cruel and unusual." he announced.

Mickie caught one and opened it to find a metal golden ticket spring out and bonk her on the head. "Ow!" she cried.

Matt grumpily sat there while the can flew in his lap. He opened it to find another golden ticket. "Woowee." he said dully.

Evan managed to catch it, but fell backwards on the couch again while the intern had to come back out and help him. When he was settled, he opened the can to find another golden ticket. "VICTORY!" he cheered before the couch flipped over the opposite way and trapped him inside. "Ow."

"Eh...okay!" exclaimed Candice. "Everyone with a golden ticket, join me up here."

Mickie, Evan, Matt, and Kelly all joined her.

"All right, Evan! Isn't this great, sweetie, we get another chance!" Mickie exclaimed, hugging him.

"Yeah, I know!" he agreed, accidentally bumping into her injured leg. "OW!"

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, babe! Oh, I'm a horrible person." he sulked.

She kissed him.

"Maybe not." he finished.

"Hey, I should get to host this show again." announced Punk. "It's weird being a guest. Ok, how about we play another game of The Chair of Truth! Where contestants have-"

"How about you play a game of Shut Up And Let Me Finish This Show?" demanded Candice.

"Jeez. You don't gotta be all etchy about it." he replied.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Cena. Have any of you seen him?" she asked.

"The last time we saw him, he was a zombie and got kicked out of the plane." replied Matt. "Never mind, just move on, Candy."

"Oh, my poor Cena. O-Ok, one of you four are gonna get a second chance to win the million dollars, when you play, the Total WWE Board Game!" she announced, revealing a large floor panel with the remaining contestants' faces on them, flags from Austraila, Sweden, Area 51, London, and a blank door.

"WHOO!" everyone cheered.

"Looks like a disco floor. Are we gonna dance?" asked Kelly.

"Nope. The rules of this game are simple. You roll the dice here, and whatever number you get, that's the number of steps you get on the board. You can land on a country's flag, which will require you to do a challenge based on that country, you can land on one of the faces of the remaining 7 contestants, and do a challenge based on them, or land on this blank tile, which is a booby trap. No good. So, Kelly, you're lucky number 1. Ready?" she asked.

"YES, I AM!" she cheered.

"Well, you're gonna have to wait a bit, while we check back in on Morrison and the boys back on their mission. Take a look!" Candice exclaimed, gesturing back to the monitor...

* * *

Back outside, the boys had another plan to get past the guards...

"You sure this is gonna work?" asked Morrison.

"Sure! Shawn and I've done this on Jericho hundreds of times!" exclaimed Hunter. "Ready, man?"

Shawn thumbs up'd and then launched a catapult, sending tons of trash filled balloons towards the door. The guards peeked out and then saw a robot kitty that was stuck in a tree.

"Aww, look at that poor robotic sounding kitty trapped in that tree! We gotta save it, man!" exclaimed one of the guards.

"But we gotta keep guard here just in case one of those hoodlums comes back here!" cried the other one.

He looked at the guard with puppy eyes.

"Damn it. Ok, we'll go. But you owe me $45 bucks." he finished, while they left.

Meanwhile, the boys were hiding behind the building.

"Coast is clear." announced Dave. "All right, men...we're going in."

They entered the place, putting on a tough act, while a nun asked Shawn, "Welcome to Saint Illness. Would you like a cup of tea, sir?"

"Oh, that'd be wonderful! Thaaaaa-" he was cut off when Hunter and the boys dragged him along.

Meanwhile, the guards returned, pissed off. "That cat was a robot! Who would've guessed?" asked one of them.

"Hey, we left this place unattended. What if those four idiots busted in here?" demanded the other one.

Hunter returned. "Idiot?" he asked, offended. "I'll have you know-"

*guns cocking*

"HUNTER!" the boys cried, dragging him along.

The guards chased after them.

"DON'T SHOOT!" Shawn cried from a distance.

The chase went on through hallways and hallways, until the guards lost them. "Where the hell did they go?" one of them demanded.

"I dunno, maybe they got scared and ran away. Now, c'mon, we gotta guard our post." he replied.

While they left, Hunter, Shawn, Dave, and Morrison all hid underneath four food carts.

"I think we're in the clear." whispered Morrison. "Now, we just gotta find a way to Nattie's room."

"I have a plan. We-" began Dave, while a few nurses rolled away the carts. "We stay here and take a little ride." he finished dully.

* * *

Back at the studio...

"All right, everyone, we're back and ready to play the game! Kel, whenever you're ready!" exclaimed Candice.

"Oh, this is SO much fun!" she exclaimed, rolling a 4 on the dice.

"4, and you get a challenge from Edge." she replied while Kelly stepped on a tile with Edge's face on it. "Ok, you have to drink this bottle of hot sauce, while watching a compilation video of Edge getting thrashed or hurt in some way, without laughing. If you laugh, you're out. Ready?"

"Totally!" she replied. "I've always wanted to try hot sauce for some weird reason!"

Then, the monitor showed a bunch of clips of Edge getting either bonked on the head with something, falling down, or just acting like a moron, and at the end, Kelly didn't laugh. "Finished with the sauce!" she exclaimed, completely unaffected.

"YEAH, Kel!" cheered Punk.

"Wow, you didn't get a kick outta any of that?" asked Candice.

"Not really. We're all used to seeing Edge act like a moron." she replied, while steam came out of her ears. "Weird burning feeling!"

"All righty, then, Kelly's still in the game! Evan, you're next!" she exclaimed.

"Good luck, baby." Mickie smiled, giving him another kiss.

"This is for you, babe." he smiled back, rolling the dice.

"A 5! And Evan, you get...Uh oh." she began.

He walked 5 steps while saying, "Give me the strength to win for my lady-AAAAHHHH!" he cried, falling through the trap door. *THUD.* "_I'm good." _he called from below.

"EVAN!" cried Mickie.

"...And he chose the trap door. Looks like he's not moving on. Ok, Mickie, you're next! Roll the dice!" exclaimed Candice.

"Ok." she replied, rolling a 3.

"And a 3, looks like you're goin to Australia. Your challenge will involve you in a boxing match with the dingo from episode 16!" she exclaimed.

"...Uh, wha?" she asked, stunned.

A few minutes later, Mickie was in the ring with the dingo. *DING DING!*

"Wait, I'm injured, I don't know if I can-" she began.

The dingo charged at her, while she ducked and Evan returned instead. "Hey, nobody hurts Mickie, especially-OW!" he cried when the dingo jumped and attacked Evan. "This just isn't a good day for me."

"Evan!" Mickie cried, helping him.

Later...

"Ok, folks, Mickie and Kelly are still in the game, and now it's Matt's turn to go up. Whenever you're ready." announced Candy.

"Like this'll go good for me." he said dully, rolling a 2 on the dice.

"And he rolls a 2, for his bro, Jeff!" she exclaimed, while he landed on a tile with Jeff's face on it. "Ok, Matt, your challenge is to sing a HAPPY song about how HAPPY you are for your bro who's still in the competition…HAPPY!"

"I'll quit now, thanks." he replied.

"Uh, no. You're on contract, you gotta do it." she replied. "So, sing!"

He sighed.

"I am really special cause there's only one of me. Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me. When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song, it cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long, oh oh oh! I'm so happy, I can barely breathe. Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth. Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy, it's hardcore, happy as a coupon for a $20 whore, ha-ha-ha hah! I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me. Happy, good, Anger, bad, that's my philosophy. *speaks* I can't do this man. I'm not happy. *sings again* I am really special cause there's only one of me. Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me. These are my love handles and this is my spout, but if you tip me over, then momma said knock you out. I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave. Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave. I am happy, I am good, I am...I'm outta here! Screw you!" he finished, walking offstage.

Silence.

"...Okay! Since sarcasm doesn't work, he's out, leaving either Mickie or Kelly as one of the two contestants returning!" exclaimed Candice.

"WHOOOOO!" cheered the audience.

"But before we finish, let's check back up on our friends back on their mission. A look at the monitor, please."

* * *

Back at St. Illness, the nurses were rolling the four carts into a room, but didn't know where they were...

"It's dark in here." whispered Shawn.

"Shh! We don't want to be found out by anyone!" whispered Hunter.

"Where do you think they're taking us?" asked Morrison.

"Personally, I'm hoping they're taking us to the buffet." replied Dave.

"Will you guys shut up?" demanded Hunter.

"Huh?" one of the nurses asked, pausing.

"Uh, I mean..squeak. Squeak squeak." he imitated the wheel.

After a few minutes, they stopped and heard the door close.

"We're here." announced Morrison.

"Oh, goody! Food's here for us!" exclaimed a familiar voice.

"Oh, no. It's her." Shawn shuddered.

"We're here for a reason, men, remember that. Now, follow my lead." replied Dave. "FREEZE!" he cried, leaping out of the cart, along with Hunter, Shawn, and Morrison.

"MMMM!" Melina exclaimed, tied up and gagged.

"Melina! Babe, what happened to you?" Morrison exclaimed, taking the tape off of her mouth.

"John!" she cried, giving him a kiss. "I was just walking down the street, getting ready for the show, when one of her PEOPLE kidnapped me!" she cried while he untied her.

"Well, I was feeling a bit lonely, and she called my Randy a man whore! I had to trap her in my lair." Nattie replied.

"Ok, and I'm gonna go back home now." announced Shawn.

"No, you don't." Hunter replied, bringing him back.

"Look, Natalya, some anonymous caller wanted you signed outta here and they want you back on the Chatterbox, ok?" asked Dave. "So we're here to bust you guys out."

"Really? I get a chance to see the outside world again? This is great!" she exclaimed. "So, how'd you guys get past the guards?"

"They tried to shoot us, but we were too quick for em." replied Hunter. "Now, we gotta get you guys outta here and back on the show before it ends. Morrison, how much time do we have left?"

"Like, 10 minutes." he replied.

"Well, we gotta get the hell outta here! Come on!" exclaimed Melina.

The six of them peeked outside to make sure nobody was watching, and snuck out.

"There's a back door around here that I always try to escape from. If we're lucky, there won't be any..." Nattie began before they ran into the guards.

"Uh...how do you do?" asked Hunter.

"Robot cats, that's a great idea. Look, I don't know how you tried to get away with breaking out one of our patients, but we know how you're all getting outta here." a guard replied.

"Uh, that's great, cause we really don't give a damn! EAT GREASE!" Dave cried, tossing the Arby's bag at one of the guards. "GET THOSE HOOLIGANS!"

The second guard aimed his gun towards them, while Morrison bravely stepped in front.

"John, what are you doing? Be careful!" exclaimed Melina.

"Don't worry, Mel. I got a secret weapon of my own." he smiled, then ripping off his shirt and distracting the guards with his perfectly toned chest, and his 6 pack abs.

The guards were stunned. "Wow, what kinda workout do you do?" one of them asked.

"It's so perfect. How do you get rid of a beer belly?" asked the second one.

Then, Morrison tossed his shirt at them while he cried, "RUN AWAY!"

The gang sped into their car, and escaped the place just in time for the guards to be too late. "Damn it!" the guards cried.

"Mission accomplished, guys." announced Dave. "Tell em we'll be there soon."

"Can we stop for more curly fries first?" asked Hunter.

* * *

Back at the studio...

"And we're back! Mickie and Kelly are gonna battle it out to determine who gets to return to the competition! We gotta hurry it up cause we only got, like 5 minutes left. Kelly, you're next, so roll the dice!" exclaimed Candice.

"WHOO!" she cheered, rolling a 4 on the dice.

"And she rolls a 4 for Sweden! Ok, Kel, you have to.."

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood!" Kelly said quickly, standing on one leg, balancing three Swedish meatballs, one on her nose, and one on each fingertip. "Ok, that was fun! What do I get to do?"

"Well, you already did it!" exclaimed Candice. "Mickie, the last challenge is up to you! If you win, we go into tiebreaker mode, but if you don't, Kelly wins another chance at the big mil! Roll your dice!"

She rolled her dice and landed on a 6.

"Ok, a 6 for London!" Candice exclaimed while Mickie stepped on a London flag. "Mickie, we're pressed for time, so you gotta answer this trivia question by this London guard dude. Take it away."

The guard cleared his throat.

"Ok, you're taking too damned long. Which Beatle crossed Abbey Road first?" she asked.

"Uh...Uh..." Mickie began.

"I KNOW! It's John Lennon!" Natalya exclaimed, arriving with the others, who were exhausted.

"We're back." announced Morrison.

"Wow, Nattie was...right!" Candice exclaimed, surprised. "Which means that she gets to join the top 7 in the competition!"

"Lovely." Shawn said, tired. "Aww, did we just miss a game of Monopoly?"

"Looks like Canasta to me." replied Hunter.

"I saved the girls, I'm gonna go complain to the producers to pay me an extra fee." Dave said leaving.

"I WON! I WON!..Which means I get to join Randy again. REUNITED, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nattie cheered happily.

"Well, considering the fact that the world's about to end, I'm gonna go back to the green room. Morrison, babe? Won't you join me?" asked Melina.

He lit up. "Hahahaha. See you guys later! Remember, take care of yourselves, and each other!" he exclaimed, running off with her.

While Nattie kept celebrating, and Shawn and Hunter waved to the camera, Candice said, "What will happen now that Nattie's joining in on the fun? Find out on the next episode of Total WWE, World Tour! And our next episode of the Chatterbox will be a special one out on location at a secret place which I'm not allowed to tell you. Good night, everyone!"

"Peace, love and granola!" called Shawn.

"Love, peace, and chicken grease!" called Hunter.

"Ooh, good one." he replied.

"I know." he smiled back.


	29. Episode 19: Niagara Falls

Total WWE, World Tour: Niagara Wedding Falls

Episode #19

"HELLO, parasites! The Codebreaker here, Chris Jericho with another unpredictable episode of TWWT coming up next! Last time, we headed to chilly Sweden, where Lita still had the hots for Randy, and Edge was boiling mad! The challenge involved our friends building something out of the junk they were given with, the winners getting the advantage in the next challenge. Edge, Lita, and Jeff spent time chasing one another with power tools, while the other team decided to do the smart thing and build a boat, while Randy was enjoying all the conflict. Lita ended up building a wooden version of Randy's head, which didn't go all too well with Edge. During sailing time, Eve had enough of Randy's threats, and she spilled to Christian everything that she was keeping inside. After that, oh, a war happened. Shots went everywhere, bodies almost sacrificed! In the end, though, Christian played the role of Evil Kinevel, and cannon bombed his way into the Misfits' boat, destroying it, winning for his team, and sending Team Misfits to the elimination ceremony for the second week in a row. Fortunately for Edge, nobody was going home! This week, with Randy's secret out of the bag, will Christian and Eve be out for revenge? Will Lita find out about Randy until it's too late? And will Edge be out for more revenge, too? Find out this week on Total...WWE…World…Tour!

* * *

In the Jumbo Jet of Fun, Zombie Cena, who was still hiding, had to practically rob a rat of its cheese and greedily munched it, like it was his last meal. "Mmm..yummy." he said in a coarse voice.

Meanwhile, everyone was still asleep, while Lita was still awake, thinking about Randy...

She was just finishing writing something down for him, while Edge's snoring constantly distracted her.

She glared at him. "You irritate me." she said quietly before heading towards the Playas Lounge to meet Randy.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "I hope Randy'll love the song that I wrote for him. Y'know, I never thought about dating again, but Randy just happened and I think I want a relationship with him. For one thing, it'll drive Edge crazy, haha."

-Back outside-

* * *

Before she met up with him, he exited the room, surprised to find her there.

"Oh, hey, Lita!" he greeted. "I didn't know you'd be up."

"Yeah, it's pretty hard to sleep on this crusty old plane." she replied.

He chuckled. "I hear ya. So, uh, what's going on?" he asked.

"I kinda wrote this song for you." she said, blushing.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yeah, it kinda sums up my feelings about you." she replied. "Dude, you're more awesome than the others give you credit for, you know? I really like you."

"Well, thanks for the compliment." he smiled back. "And thanks for the song. Listen, I gotta head somewhere for a sec, be right back, ok?"

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't leave me hanging. Whenever Edge wakes up and starts his usual morning routine, I'll need someone to hold me back before I shove his fist down his throat."

He chuckled again. "Don't worry. I'll be back." he replied, heading to the confessional.

After he left, she decided to sneak around and follow him.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: " *on phone* Hey, Chelle, how you doing?...Nice. Yeah, plan's working all too well. Lita's totally falling for me. She's on the verge of turning her team against her, and she even wrote me a cute wittle song...Yeah, well, whatever! She can buy me a Lincoln Navigator for all I care-wait, that'd be pretty awesome actually—"_Michelle: "RANDY!" _"Kidding! Anyways, it's only a matter of time before Lita's team votes her off. I'm so glad I came back to the competition. Haha, well, I love you babe...see ya."

-Back outside-

* * *

From there, Lita heard everything and was shocked to hear his secret. Then, she quickly stormed away before he exited the room. "Hey, Lita? Where'd she go?" he asked. "Oh, well."

She joined her sleeping teammates back in the losers' section and sadly held her knees close to her chest. "How could he do this to me?" she asked quietly.

Edge snored loudly.

"Damn it, Edge." she muttered, finding a pillow and covering his face with it, trying to smother him.

"HEY!" he cried, waking up.

"You're dreaming, go back into your coma." she replied, punching him on the head and knocking him back to sleep.

A few seconds later, a few interns entered the room.

"Uh, hey, guys, what's...going...on?" she asked slowly, while they approached all of them.

Soon after that, all the contestants were dragged to the front of the plane, right about the drop area.

"Should I warn everyone about this?" she asked.

"Shh." Jericho smiled, joining them before pulling the lever, sending everyone flying out of the plane!

"AAAAAAHH!" Lita cried. "Uh, guys?"

Eve woke up next. "Mmm-hey, wait, this isn't my BEEEDDD!" she cried.

"Munchkins...HOLY (BLEEP!) screamed Edge, waking up. "Cool, who told us that we were going mid morning skydiving?"

"Awesome! I LOVE skydiving!" exclaimed Christian. "WOO!"

"Screw that, WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEEE!" Eve screamed, angrily grabbing onto his collar.

"Okay!" he whimpered in a small voice.

"AAH!" everyone cried, while two swan shaped love boats flew down, too.

Jeff laughed crazily.

"Everyone, grab onto a boat before we drown!" called Maria.

"GOOD MORNING, PARASITES! NICE WAKE UP CALL, EH?" Jericho called from the plane. "HAHAHAHAHA!"

Once Edge, Christian and Eve landed in one boat and Randy, Lita, Jeff, and Maria landed in another, they all sighed in relief.

"Orton, get the hell out of our boat!" cried Jeff. "Nobody wants you here."

"I don't have to listen to you, Hardy! Besides, Lita here WANTS me to stay, don't you, cutie?" he asked her.

She glared at him. "No, as a matter of fact, I don't." she replied angrily.

"What?" he asked, surprised. "Why not?"

In the other boat...

"Look at Randy, Rand-ing it up with Lita in that boat. Makes me want to puke." Edge said grumpily.

"Well, don't worry about Randy, my friend. I've got him covered." Christian said with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, last week after I confessed to Christian that Randy threatened to hurt us, he made some kinda secret call to someone." replied Eve.

"WHO? TELL ME!" he cried frantically.

"Don't yell at me, all right?" she demanded back. "I am not in the mood today, I'm telling you, you do NOT want to get on my bad side!"

"Don't bite me." Edge said, shielding himself.

"Oh, it's someone Randy knows all too well!" Christian replied with a laugh. "Believe me, after all the crap that Randy's done to all of us, he's gonna get what's coming to him today. Revenge, what a beautiful word."

"Ooh, foreshadowing." Edge smiled evilly. "I like it."

Meanwhile...

"You used me, Randy. After all this time, you used me." Lita replied.

"What the hell are you talking about? I never used you for anything!" he exclaimed.

"You DO know! I heard you in the confessional talking to someone on the phone." she continued.

"Uh, well-" he began.

"I guess that song I wrote for you meant nothing, right?" she asked, snatching it away from him.

"Well-I-you-can we explain this another time?" he demanded.

"The others really were right about you. You're a snake." she said scornfully.

"Uh, guys, I'd hate to interrupt this lovely argument, but we're headed to a WATERFALL!" cried Maria. "So, maybe instead of dying, we should do something cause I really plan on living a little while longer, OKAY?"

They all looked in horror at the rapidly approaching waterfall.

"I got it covered." Jeff replied, grabbing a rope, tying a knot in the middle, and tossing the loop on the head of the other boat. "Someone pedal the boat backwards!"

"Why should I listen to a thing you-" Randy began.

"Because if we fall down this thing and drown, you'd wish you'd shut up and listened to me. Now, shut up and listen to me!" Jeff interrupted.

Randy growled and did what he was told.

Before they reached the waterfall, both boats quickly sped back, flew over a boulder, and all flew and crash landed on a nearby shore.

"OW-OOF!" everyone cried.

"Well, that was pretty awesome." smiled Christian.

"Hey, worms, close call, eh?" asked Jericho. "Beautiful place for close calls, considering that we're back in Canada!"

"CANADA?" Christian and Edge cried happily.

"Oh, dear God, not again." Jeff muttered.

"YES!" Jericho agreed, just as excited. "Niagara falls to be exact."

"I thought that Niagara falls was near Las Vegas." announced Eve.

"Yeah, but we're in the Canadian half. It's a long story, involves relations with the UN, don't want to get into that stuff. Now, Niagara Falls is the home of parties, most specifically, honeymoons, in turn which are related to weddings, which is what today's challenges are all about." he explained.

"Ooh!" Maria exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "I've always wanted to be a bride in a totally spectacular wedding! I've always wanted to be a June bride...but then again what if it rains? Ok, maybe September...then again, that is hurricane season. December? No, that's Santa Claus time and all that holiday craziness. Damn it, you never get to win in these decisions, do you?"

-Hidden Camera-

* * *

"Anyways, since we're in the center of where all wedded madness happens, I'm gonna take you all to a casino for your first challenge!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WOOOHOOO!-YEAH!-BIG MONEY!" everyone cheered.

A few minutes later, they were all taken to a studio room instead, with one giant slot machine.

"Jericho, you smuck." Edge announced, crossing his arms.

"This is your idea of a casino?" demanded Eve.

"Believe me, there is nothing too good for my beloved hypocrites. You can all thank me later. But before we begin, on the last edition of the TWWT Chatterbox, there was a contest held for one of the eliminated contestants to return to the competition. And the winner of that contest is here today!" he exclaimed.

"Michelle?" Randy exclaimed, hopeful.

"Oh, maybe it's her, maybe it's not." Christian said with a smirk.

"She's crazy, she's sexy, she's cool, she's..." began Jericho.

"Michelle, Michelle, please..." Randy muttered, crossing his arms.

"MEEEE!" Natalya sang, entering from a stage.

"Natalya!" he finished.

Everyone gasped, Christian laughed, and Randy was in complete shock.

"WHAT?" he demanded.

Then, the song 'I Do' (a song from Dance Dance Revolution) came on, while Nattie began singing...

"I-I-I...  
Ooh...  
I-I-I...  
Ooh...

All the days where we just played  
Back in school, just me and you  
But I can't forget you now  
What am I supposed to do?

We can be more than friends  
Do you know I'm here for you?  
Cause you're so easy to love  
When you smile, the sky turns blue

I do I do I do, do I do love you  
And do you do you do, do you love me too?

I do I do I do, do I do love you  
And do you do you do, do you love me too?

I do I do I do, do I do love you  
And do you do you do, do you love me too?

I do I do I do, do I do love you  
And do you do you do, do you love me too?

I-I-I...  
Ooh...  
I-I-I...  
Ooh..."

After the song ended, Christian said, "Surprise!"

Randy forcefully grabbed him by the collar. "What the hell do you mean?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

"Randy, you caused Eve, me, Edge, and all of us a great deal of pain ever since you returned to the competition. I said that I would get my revenge on you, so who better to call back than Nattie here? Your own #1 fan?" he explained slyly.

"I hate you." he replied before Nattie squealed and tackled him in a hug. "RANDY! My one true love! I missed you so much! Did you miss me, huh? Huh? HUH?" she demanded.

"...Get. Off. Of. Me." he said slowly.

"Oh, you're so cute when you act this way." she smiled. "I get to be on his team, right, Jericho?"

"Well, nope."

"YES!" cried Randy.

"NO!" she cried.

"No, because as of now, it's merging time. No more teams, and it's everyone for themselves." he said with a smile.

"WHOO HOO!" they cheered.

"BITE ME, ALL OF YOU!" Edge exclaimed. "Cause this king plans to recapture his throne once more!"

"I'm cool with this. But Ria, you and I get to stick together no matter what. Am I right?" Jeff told his girlfriend with a smile.

She smiled back. "Totally. You and I can crush the rest of the competition together." she replied certainly, sharing a knuckle punch with him.

"Lita, I can explain everything!" Randy cried, while Nattie held onto his leg.

"There's nothing more to discuss. You apparently already have a girlfriend, anyway." she replied.

"Who, Nattie?" he asked, surprised.

"REALLY?" she exclaimed.

"Well, I meant Michelle, but if she's here, then yeah, her." she replied.

"WEEEE!" Nattie exclaimed.

"NO! I don't love this basket case! *looks down at Nattie* I don't." he replied.

"I still love you, Randy." she smiled.

"Ok, worms, since we're in the place where honeymoons happen, you guys are gonna be placed in forced marriages today!" Jericho exclaimed.

"WHAT?" they exclaimed.

"Yeah. The boys are gonna be placed in that giant slot machine, awaiting their future wives. The girls will pull the lever here, and whoever's face appears three times, gets to be their husband for the game. Simple, right?" he asked.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Natalya: "Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! I MUST choose Randy. And when I do, I'll finally get to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming Mrs. Randall Keith Orton. Ooh, that sounds good! I really gotta thank Christian for getting me outta that institution and back into the arms of my beloved. *sighs happily* "

-Back outside-

* * *

"All right, so boys, GET IN and SHUT UP!" Jericho exclaimed while Big Show lifted all of them and dropped them into the small machine.

"In you go." he said.

"OW! There's no room in here!" they all cried.

"GOOD!" exclaimed Jericho. "Now, girls, it's your turn. Maria, you're up first."

She approached the machine and pulled the lever, desperately hoping to get Jeff.

"Please, let me get Jeff, please!" she muttered, crossing her fingers.

*DING DING DING!* Randy's face appeared again.

"What?" she asked in a strangely dark voice, while Randy tumbled down and flew out of the little door in the corner. "Oh, hi, Maria." he said with a sick smile.

She glared at him. "Screw this, I'm going to the back of the line." she said angrily.

"Well, fine! I'm sure Lita'll want me." he said, approaching her.

"When hell freezes over." she said, heading to the back of the line.

Natalya giggled. "I'LL take him!" she exclaimed.

"Aw, HELL no!" he cried, speeding back up into the machine.

"I'll go next." announced Eve.

"But-" began Nattie.

"ME!" she screamed back.

"Ok! Sorry!" she backed off.

Eve stepped up and pulled the lever, getting...

*DING DING DING!*

"Christian!" she exclaimed, while he tumbled out.

"Owow-OOFA!" he cried. "Eve! Hey, you're my wife now!"

"I know! Now as your wife you BETTER make me happy, cause today's not a good day for me, I'm telling you, every time this happens, I get all etchy and aggravated and I'm in a great deal of pain..." she said, taking his arm.

"Should I be regretting this decision?" Christian asked quickly.

"WHAT?" she asked from a distance.

Next, Maria was up again and approached the machine. "Come on, come on!" she exclaimed, awaiting her results.

*DING DING DING!*

"Whoa, whoa!" Jeff cried, tumbling down the door, and accidentally knocking her down. "Hey, wife." he smiled.

She blushed and smiled back. "Hey, husband." she replied.

Next, Lita stepped up to the machine. "Well, Randy and Edge are left. I'm screwed either way." she said before pulling the lever, eventually getting...

*DING DING DING!*

"WHOOOOAAAA!" Edge cried, tumbling down and ending up on the floor while Lita casually watched. He smirked and got up before saying, "So, Lita. I'm your new husband. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

"God, I wish Matt was back." she said miserably.

"And everyone's taken, except for..." began Jericho.

"EEEEE!" squealed Nattie. "That means Randy's all mine!"

_"Ok, there's no way in hell I'm leaving this machine." _Randy said from inside.

Then, she reached inside the door and pulled him out by the leg. "Oh, don't be so modest, sweetums. We're finally husband and wife, isn't this a dream come true?" she exclaimed, hugging him.

"Pushing you in front of a moving train would be a dream come true." he said dully.

"Excellent! So now that we have our couples, it's time for the first challenge to begin!" exclaimed Jericho.

A few minutes later, the place was set up so that the guys were standing on top of platforms with hearts over them, while they carried megaphones. The girls were standing below their 'husbands' blindfolded in front of an obstacle course.

"Ok, worms, it's time to play, the Newlywed Game! And here's your gorgeous, one of a kind, rockin', handsome, dazzling host-" began Jericho.

"Lies." Show replied quickly.

"Chris Jericho!" he exclaimed to himself.

"BOO!" called Edge.

He glared at him before replying. "So, here's how the game goes. Guys, you'll have to guide your blindfolded wives through this obstacle course here, in order for them to reach their wedding dresses on the other side. Now, you guys have to complete this course and reach the dresses before the minute you have is up. READY? Set, VAMOOSE!"

"Ok, Eve, 3 steps right, 2 steps left, and then go right again!" Christian called.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" she cried back, before falling face first in a Tubby Custard pit. "What the-WHO THE HELL FILLED THIS THING WITH TUBBY CUSTARD?"

Show meekly tossed his Teletubby supplies somewhere else. "Well, it was better than Tubby Toast." he said.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Christian: "Ok, I love Eve like a sister, but how come when we're finally paired as husband and wife she suddenly turns into the spawn of the devil? PMS or something?"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ok, Ria, evasive maneuver!" called Jeff. "Cake at 12:00, trap at 5:00, go clockwise around 2 and 3..."

And she easily understood and breezed by each obstacle, "Haha, this is awesome!" she laughed.

"Great work, babe! Now go past the corner of 10 and 3, and you're all good." he finished.

She escaped running into a cake, leaped over two pools of Tubby custard and another cake, and reached her dress. "WOO HOO! Nice work, Jeff!" she called.

"Right back atcha, baby! Mission accomplished." replied Jeff.

Meanwhile...

"Edge, you better not try any crap, neither." Lita said, heading off.

"Who said I would?" he asked. "So, go right."

She did, only to run into Jericho's arms. "Well, hello there." he smiled.

"EDGE, I HATE YOU!" she screamed. "(BLEEP) this, I'm following my own directions."

"Hey-HEY!" Edge cried. "Leaving me wasn't a part of the marriage contract! YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME, GODDAMNIT!"

Meanwhile...

Randy put his megaphone down and crossed his arms, refusing to give Nattie any directions.

"Randy, hun? I can't hear you! Which way do I go?" she asked.

"On the next flight outta here." he muttered.

"So, Orton? Having a good time, I see?" asked Jeff. "Me and Maria already advanced to the next challenge."

He glared at him and then looked back at Nattie, who was trapped inside of a cake. "...Want to trade wives?" he asked blankly.

"Heh?" demanded Jeff.

"25 seconds, worms! MOVE IT!" cried Jericho.

"Come on, Eve, you're almost there! Just go left left left, and then right right right!" called Christian.

"3 rights and 3 lefts?" she called back.

"No, 3 lefts and THEN 3 rights!" he exclaimed.

"Left first?" she exclaimed.

"RIGHT!" he agreed.

"Right first?-Oh, damn it, Christian, you're working my last nerve!" she exclaimed before finally reaching her dress. "Oh, yay."

"I'm a good husband." he smiled.

"10 seconds!" called Jericho.

"LITA!" cried Edge. "STOP IGNORING ME! I KNOW WHAT IS AND IS NOT RIGHT!"

She continued following her own direction, finally reaching her dress. "Nice." she smiled. "Maybe I am way better off single."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" demanded Edge.

"I'm gonna shove that megaphone up your ass if you don't stop screaming at me!" she cried back.

He scoffed. "Well!"

"Ok, worms, time's up, and-" began Jericho.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Nattie exclaimed, speeding through the rest of the course and grabbing her dress. "Ok, I'm done. What were you saying?"

"...Ok. Looks like everyone advances to the next challenge! VAMANOS, MUCHACHOS!" he exclaimed.

"Wow, that was really bad." Christian replied.

"Shut up, Christian!" he snapped back.

Later that day, everyone was in the middle of Niagara falls, standing before a thin board which reached across this deep gorge...

"Ok, worms, here's the second and more exciting second part of The Newlywed Game! All you'll have to do is tightrope across Niagara Falls here and reach the other side and meet up with Big Show over there, who'll ask you a trivia question. If you're right, you win!" he explained.

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad." announced Nattie.

"Well, the other part's that each groom will have to carry their bride across. How awesome is that?" he smiled.

"How do you expect me to carry all THIS dead weight?" Edge demanded, pointing at Lita.

"Oh, you BITCH!" she cried, punching him in the face.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "Ok, did she really just call me a bitch? Last time I checked, I was a dude. And dudes are not supposed to be called bitches...unless she thinks I'm a whiny little chick! Oh, HELL NO! I'm a GREAT husband, and she'll find out!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Eve, is there something you'd like to talk about?" asked Christian.

"Like what? WHAT, Christian, WHAT?" she demanded.

"What's with the crazy attitude?" he cried.

She started sobbing. "You're so mean to me!" she cried. "I am NOT crazy!"

"Good God Almighty." he muttered in despair.

"Oh! This is exactly how I pictured my wedding dress to look like! Randy, whaddya say we get outta this place, and elope in Vegas somewhere? We can have an Elvis impersonator marry us, and after we say our 'I Do's', we can honeymoon right here? Right in the middle of Niagara falls, where hopefully, the water won't drown us! Whaddya say?" asked Nattie. "Randy?"

He was miserably on the ground, huddled in the fetal position. "I hate my life." he announced.

"Oh, sweetie, I love you!" she exclaimed.

"Don't touch me." he said indifferently.

"Please?" she pleaded.

"No."

"PLEASE?" she demanded.

"No."

"Nice guiding during that last challenge, Jeff!" Maria exclaimed. "I knew we'd make a great team!"

"Thanks, I knew so, too." he agreed, gazing at her. "Wow, you look beautiful."

She blushed. "Thanks. I love this dress!" she exclaimed. "Although it could use a little color to spice it up, but whatevs!"

"Uh, yeah, we're gonna need that dress back by the end of the day, by the way." Jericho interrupted. "Hey, I made a rhyme!"

"ANYWAY, it looks great on you." replied Jeff. "Say, I-never mind."

"What?" she asked.

"It's nothing." he replied thoughtfully.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Ok, it really isn't nothing. I just can't tell her yet that seeing her in that wedding dress, and this whole wedding theme in general gave me an idea. A really great one, by the way, but I think I'll wait until the end of the season to ask her."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Ok, wormies! Let's do this! Jeff and Maria, since you won the last challenge, you get the advantage of heading across the board first, to avoid confusion." announced Jericho. "Ready, set, GO!"

"Well, may I carry you across the threshold, wife?" Jeff asked with a smile, lifting her into his arms.

"You may, husband." she smiled while they casually headed across the gorge. "I'm totally unaware of the potential dangers down below if we fall!"

Down below, the sharks snapped up towards them, while the rushing water was strong enough to devour a surfer alive and break his board in two! "YEAH! I'M A WAVE OF ONE-AAAHHH!" he cried.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Jeff asked her, casually ignoring everything else that was happening (The surfer's leg flying in the air while a shark leapt up and caught it in its teeth).

"Wow, they're good." announced Christian. "If they can do it, then so can we!"

Eve leaped into his arms, and they walked across. "Ow..Chris, got any Midol or something?" she asked.

"Midol? Eve, what's wrong with you? Is that why you've been all grouchy today?" he asked.

"GROUCHY?" she demanded. "Let me tell you, HUSBAND, I am having a very rough day. For your information, it's my time of the month again, yes, I'm on my period, OK?"

"Oh, uh, I wouldn't know." he said meekly.

"My stomach's in knots, and believe me, you haven't experienced that kind of pain in your life." she said darkly.

"I'm afraid now." he replied. "How can I help you in your time of need?"

"Got any Midol?" she asked again.

"No-"

"THEN YOU CAN'T HELP ME!-AAAHH, OK!" they cried at the same time, Eve was furious while Christian was terrified.

"Can't you move any faster?" she demanded.

"Eve, I'm trying to get us across here as fast as I can, but I'd like to prevent getting us both killed by falling off of here, if that's ok with you." he replied, trying to stay calm.

"Are you getting an attitude with me?" she cried.

"NO!" he cried.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" she cried again.

"I'M SO CONFUSED-Oh-WHOAAA, we're falling!" he cried.

"AAAAAHHH...!" they both exclaimed, falling off of the board.

Meanwhile, Edge was with Lita on the platform, while she was slumped over his shoulder, just wanting to just kick his ass...

"Isn't married life swell, wife?" he asked her.

"Ok, never call me your wife." she replied.

"You dig me and you know it, don't you?" he asked. "Cause I saw earlier that you and Randy are finished, so that leaves me for you!"

"Let's get one thing straight here. Yes, Randy and I are over, cause we were never together in the first place. I learned that he was using me in order to break up our team, and to just get me eliminated." she explained. "But although I want nothing to do with him anymore, I want nothing to do with you, neither."

"...So, does this mean you like me better than Randy?" he asked.

She sighed. "Any way I can get a divorce? Along with a restraining order?" she asked.

"Hey, I just thought of something. You're supposed to be my wife, so why aren't you in the kitchen making me my dinner?" he asked.

Lita kicked him in the jaw with her boot.

"OW! WHAT'D I SAY?" he demanded.

"Lita, listen to me!" Randy cried, while Nattie clung to his back.

"Were you eavesdropping on me?" she demanded.

"Yeah. Anyways, I've just decided, since there aren't any more teams and it's everyone for themselves, I just wanted to admit that yes, I did use you." he said with a wicked smile.

She glared at him.

"Everything you heard in that confessional, it's all true. I tried to get you to turn against your team, and hey, you and Matt were good friends until I came along and kissed you. After that, he wanted nothing to do with you and you ended up getting the guy eliminated." he continued.

She growled. "Shut up."

"Feel bad, huh? Well, you'll love hearing this - that time you were all drunk and everything? I was the one who spiked your drink, too." he smiled.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed.

"And everything that happened, you're the one to blame for it. If you decided not to fall for me, that is." he finished.

"I can't believe I even fell for a self righteous jerk like you!" Lita cried.

"Hey, DON'T you talk to my Randy like that!" exclaimed Nattie. "He's amazing!"

"You can have the son of a bitch!" she snapped back.

"OWNED!" cried Edge.

"Get over here, goth!" Nattie cried, tugging on her hair.

"GET..OFF!" Lita cried, tugging away from her, accidentally bumping into Edge, who fell back off of the board.

"NO...!" Edge cried in slow motion while they disappeared...*splash!*

"Whoa, that was pretty cool." Randy chuckled. "Now, all there is to do is to beat Hardy and Maria and I'll win."

"You mean, WE'LL win." replied Nattie.

"No."

"Randy, I love you. Let's get married right now! Jericho can be our minister, and we can enjoy our wedded bliss in the bask of..." she babbled on.

"Stop..." he said dully.

"...we can have doves! Puppy dogs, kitty cats galore!...

"STOOOP..." he groaned, his eye twitching.

"...We can have a giant waterfall like this one, to symbolize our undying love for one another-Baby, why are you standing on the edge of that board?" she asked.

He just looked back at her.

"Living on the edge, huh? Sexeh." she said with a smile.

He shook his head. "You know what? It's not even worth it anymore." he said before leaping off of the board and into the water.

"RANDY, WAIT! YOU'LL NEED MY PROTECTION...!" Nattie cried, leaping of after him.

Soon after that, Jeff and Maria finally reached the other side with Big Show...

"Hey, you two. How's pretend married life going for ya?" he asked, in a booth.

They never stopped gazing at one another. "Awesome." they both smiled at the same time.

"Well, that's wonderful. Wish I could say the same, but I'm trapped in a booth. I blame Jericho for everything, don't you?" he asked

"...That's nice." they replied, distracted by one another.

"So's I got a few trivia questions for ya. If you get em right, you win, and you know, if you don't, you gotta go back. So first question. True or False: Superman was created by a Canadian." he said.

"True?" Jeff asked, still gazing at Maria.

"Correcto. What is the Canadian $1 coin called?" he asked.

"Loonie?" Maria asked, distracted.

"What'd you call me-oh wait, that's right. Aw, what the hell, everyone else fell off, you guys win." he said, tossing the cards away. "I want a twinkie."

The two continued gazing at one another while Jericho joined them. "Well love indeed prevails all today, because Jeff and Maria, you two win today's challenge!" he exclaimed.

"...Awesome." they repeated.

"Which means that you two win invincibility, meaning that nobody can vote either of you off, and you get to enjoy a nice pretend wedding reception in the First Class Lounge, with expensive wines, and cake, and all that good stuff!" he continued.

"...Uh huh." they said, still distracted.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" he cried.

_"AAH!-HELP, HELP!"_ the others cried from below.

"Oh, crap, we forgot about the others." Jericho said, looking down to find Edge being held hostage by some sharks on a boat. One was holding a BB gun towards him, while the others quickly swam away. "HELP ME, GODDAMNIT!" he cried.

"SWIM, Randy, SWIM!" cried Nattie.

"Maybe we should do something before..." began Show.

"Yeah." agreed Jericho.

Soon after that, everyone else was rescued and the plane headed for their next destination...

Randy took a seat on the bench, while Nattie cuddled with him. "Hi, Randy." she greeted.

He glared at her.

"You have beautiful eyes." she said dreamily.

No reply.

"So, I guess you'd like to get married in our next destination, right?" she continued. "Like Florida? Or maybe Alaska! We can get married among all the penguins and polar bears...Randy?"

He put his index finger and thumb up against his head and pretended to shoot.

"I love you...Wanna make a baby?" she asked.

"That's it." he said, heading off.

"Wait! Where are you going?" she asked.

He locked himself in the confessional. _"I suggest you go away because I'm not leaving this room." _

"Don't be silly! I adore you, Randall. I'll stay by this door until we turn gray and old." she replied, sitting in front of the door.

He groaned.

Meanwhile, in the Playa's Lounge, Jeff and Maria were enjoying their reward...

"Could it get any better than this right now?" asked Maria. "We get the first class lounge all to ourselves, and Randy got exactly what he deserved."

"That's right. You know, if we stick together, we just might beat all the others and make it to the finals ourselves." he smiled.

"That'd be pretty amazing." she smiled back. "And I gotta admit, it was really fun being your wife for today, Jeff."

"It was really fun being your husband, too." he replied. "Hopefully it'll be this way for real one day." he said with a wink.

She smiled happily. "I hope so, too. I love you."

"I love you." he replied, giving her a kiss. "I propose a toast. To living large..."

"...And making it to the big time." she finished, toasting her glass of wine with his. After that, they leaned in and shared another passionate kiss, before Jeff muttered, "So, since we finally have this room to ourselves, let's pretend that this is our wedding night and, y'know..."

She smiled. "Jeff, are you sure? It'd be our first time." she said.

He nodded. "I've wanted this since forever, Ria. Please tell me that you do, too." he replied.

As a reply, she wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped him in another kiss before she kissed the sensitive areas on his neck. "What are we waiting for, Enigma? Let's join the Mile High Club." she smiled seductively before the two sank down to the floor as they began to make love for the first time.

Later, during the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, worms, while our resident Super Couple are out enjoying their wedding reception, one of you guys gots to go! Now, you've already tabulated your votes and here are the results!" exclaimed Jericho. "One vote for Lita..."

She glared at Nattie while she smiled evilly. "Figures." she said dully.

"And a whopping 5 votes for Randy." he finished.

"WHAT?" demanded Nattie.

"Ok, I don't even care anymore. And since Basket Case over here's back, I might as well vote myself off." he announced.

"NO!" cried Nattie. "Randy, how could you do something like this to me? Why would you leave me?"

"Natalya, you are the cause of most of my emotional distress. And frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." he replied, snatching his parachute. "Later."

Before he left, Lita leapt up and shoved him off of the plane.

"WHOA!" he cried.

"I really liked you, Randy." she said, shaking her head and watching him fly down.

"NOOO!" Nattie cried in despair. "My one true love!"

"And so ends another crazy episode of TWWT! What will happen now that Nattie's lost her true love?" asked Jericho.

She replied by sobbing loudly.

"And will she become crazier? Find out on the next episode of Total WWE, World Tour! Jericho...OUT!" he exclaimed.


	30. Episode 20: China

Total WWE, World Tour: Moo Goo Gai, Man

Episode #20

"My peoples! Y2J here, Chris Jericho with another insane episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we had a rude awakening in the rapids of Niagara Falls, where Lita discovered Randy's true motives, and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. After heading to the casino, we had a little wedded bliss when the girls had to play a little game of slots to get their dream guy. Maria was happy to be paired with Jeff, Eve's time of the month scared poor Christian, Lita was bummed out to be paired with Edge, and Randy was paired with...Natalya, our newest contestant! Jeria proved that they could breeze through the first contest, while Randy proved that he was officially miserable, and Lita proved that she could hold her own without Edge's help. Jeria took the lead during the second challenge, all while Randy, Lita, Edge, and Nattie all faced off during the game, resulting in Mr. and Mrs. Edge flying into Niagara Falls, followed by Randy, and Nattie close behind. Eve continued scaring Christian to oblivion, sending them out, and at the end, Jeria proved victorious in the game. At the elimination ceremony, everyone, except for Nattie voted off Randy, but hey, the guy was sick and tired of her, so he voted himself off too, with a little help from Lita. This week, will Jeria's dominance prove to last long, or will they fall short? How will Nattie deal with Randy's departure? And who will get booted off next? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playas Lounge, Jeff and Maria were still enjoying their pretend wedding reception...

"Hahahahahaha! I'm totally epic!" Maria exclaimed, playing The Fast and The Furious on a Playstation 3.

He squirmed left and right, trying to keep his car on the road. "No fair, Ria, you bumped me off of the road!" he cried.

"You're just jealous cause I'm winning!" she laughed. "And..."

"No, no no no!" Jeff cried, trying to speed his car past hers.

"WHOOOOO! I WIN! Uh huh, uh huh, uh uh uh uh!" she did a celebratory dance.

"I quit." he smirked, dropping the controller.

"Come on, one more game?" she asked.

"Babe, you beat me in Guitar Hero, you beat me in Smackdown Vs. Raw 2006, 07, 08, 09, and 2010, you beat me in Mortal Kombat, you beat me in Call of Duty, and I had no idea you even liked those last two games." he replied.

"Well, I had no idea how special I was. Just kidding, you did awesome, too." she replied while they shared a kiss.

"Thanks. Y'know, we really oughta win again so's we can get this room to ourselves for a few more days, don't you think?" he asked.

"We really should." she agreed, caressing his cheek. "Jeff, about yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

"After you complimented me on that wedding dress that I was wearing, you were about to say something but then stopped. What were you going to say?" she asked.

"Ria, really, it's nothing to make a big deal about at the moment." he replied.

"Seriously, babe, tell me." she said, looking into his eyes.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Ok, I can't just tell her how I'd like to...give her a promise ring at the end of the season. It'll give away the surprise!"

-Back outside-

* * *

He gazed back at her. "All I really wanted to say was how beautiful you looked. And how beautiful you still are." he replied.

She smiled. "Thanks." she replied while they shared another kiss. "Now, want some leftover pretend wedding cake?"

"Sure thing!" he replied. "I wish we could've shared this with the others, though."

"Yeah, me, too." she agreed, getting them both a few pieces before hearing something strange. "Hey, you hear something?"

They were quiet, and what they didn't know was that behind the cake, Zombie Cena was back munching on some.

"Yeah, it's like...a weird chewing sound." he agreed.

They looked back while Zombie Cena quickly hid away under the table.

Silence.

"...Wanna play Rock Band?" she asked.

"Totally." he agreed.

In the Losers' section...

"WAAH!" Nattie cried loudly. "I MISS RANDY!"

"Oh, dear God, SHUT UP!" Edge cried, annoyed. "Christian, buddy? You're like a brother to me, but what the bloody hell's wrong with you for bringing this lunatic back to us?"

"Edge, I told you, bringing her back was the only way we could get rid of Randy." he replied.

"Well, now I got a headache. I don't like headaches. You know how hard it is sleeping on that wall, hearing her moan Randy's name in her sleep?" he demanded.

Christian shook his head in despair. "It-it was very disturbing." he agreed. "Anyway, it's no problem, dude, we'll just all vote her off after today's challenge. Randy's gone, so we don't need her anymore, and that way, our problems are officially over."

"Thank god. If I hear any more 'OHH, RANDALL...' *shudders* I-UGH!" Edge cried.

"I know, man. I know." Christian sadly agreed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Meanwhile, Lita was still upset over Randy's betrayal, while Eve smirked and joined her. "Well, hello, goth." she greeted.

She glared back at her and cranked up her ipod.

"Ignore me if you want, you can't escape the fact that you've screwed yourself again." she said loudly.

"Eve, will you just get the hell away from me?" she demanded.

She giggled. "Why? I'm having too much fun! Look, Li, how could you fall for Randy of all people? The sneakiest, conniving, manipulative dude around here? He only put up the dimple act to lure in unsuspecting punks like you." she replied.

"Oh? I heard that he tried to get to you the other day, so wouldn't that make YOU the unsuspecting punk around here?" Lita asked with a smile.

"Hey, he THREATENED to hurt Christian and I!" she cried seriously.

"I feel bad for Christian. Putting up with trash like you for god knows how long." she replied.

After that, Eve slapped her across the face. "Yeah, go to hell."

She chuckled. "Yeah, try me, bitch. I'd love nothing more than to kick your ass, but I'll be the better person here and wait until another time." she replied.

"Oh, ho, you WANT to challenge me to a fight?" asked Eve.

"You call it." she said.

"All right. We'll fight. No interference from anyone, so's I can finish you all by myself." she replied.

"When?" asked Lita.

"Whenever you really deserve the beatdown. Could be today. Could be tomorrow. Could come when you least expect it." she replied. "So, I got better things to do. See you around."

"Not soon enough." Lita replied, listening to her headphones again.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Ok, now that Randy's out of the picture, it'll be time for me to focus on Eve and the fact that she's deserved this beatdown all season. Frankly, I can't wait to get my hands on her."

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Nattie was still sobbing about Randy in a corner...

" *sniffle* Don't worry, my love." she said, looking at a picture of him. "I'll avenge you. And I know just how I gotta do that. By breaking apart our little resident Super Couple in love, Jeff and Maria. It's the only way."

After that, the plane landed and everyone was outside in China...

"Hello, wormies! And isn't a bee-yoo-tiful day out here?" asked Jericho.

"Where are we? I sense the scent of Peaking Duck, Kung Pao Chicken, and...Beef Chow Fun." announced Christian.

"I like fun." smiled Edge.

"Well, I'm glad you do, cause we're in China!" exclaimed Jericho. "At the Great Wall, to be exact. Now before we begin today's challenge, let me tell you some fun facts about China and its Great Wall.."

"NOO..." Edge groaned loudly, holding his head, while everyone else groaned.

"Ok, the Great Wall is approximately 2,145 miles long, with an additional 1,770 miles of branches and spurs-" he read on.

"AAAHHH!" Edge cried. "MY BRAIN!"

"Screw this, guys, let's just begin the challenge already." announced Jeff. "I see a couple of bikes and stuff, so I'm guessing we'll have to race up the Great Wall."

"I think he's right. Let's go!" exclaimed Christian.

The contestants soon sped off, leaving Jericho in shock.

"Well, FINE! You worms don't know what you're up against up there, HAHA!" he cried. "The nerve of them."

So after that, everyone raced up the wall, trying to get the best method of transportation...

"Hey, Edge?" called Christian.

"Yeah?"

"Let's make an alliance. Just you and I. If we stick together, we can try to make it to the finals!" he exclaimed.

"Hmm, sounds pretty damn nice. I've never even made it this far before, much less the finals." agreed Edge.

"Me, neither!" he agreed. "So whaddya say?"

"Christian, my friend," he said, holding out his hand. "You've got yourself one hell of a deal."

He shook his hand. "Awesome!" he exclaimed. "Now, let's hurry so's we can get the bikes."

Meanwhile...

"Hey, goth!" exclaimed Eve. "Afraid that you'll lose?"

"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that, Chica?" she asked back.

"Very funny. Well, it's really a shame Matt isn't here to see me make it into the winner's circle." she replied. "It was your fault that he's gone."

"Hey, I didn't want him to go, neither! If anyone, I wanted Edge to leave!" she argued.

"I have ears, you know!" Edge cried from a distance.

"Anyway, you made poor Matt upset by turning on him for Randy, it was your fault that you hurt him again. Just like the last time." Eve replied. "I hope you're proud of yourself."

"I'm not, all right?" she demanded. "It was Randy's fault to begin with! Matt and I were great friends again until he came along. For one thing, Matt and I sure as hell made you jealous, huh?"

"Shut up!" she argued. "The only reason I kept in contact with him was because I was worried about him being on the same team as you 24/7! I didn't want you to hurt him anymore, but it looks like it's too late to save him."

"Eve, just shut the hell up, will you? You should be concentrating on our fight, more than anything!" she replied. "Now, if you can excuse me, I got a prize to reach."

"Uh, I don't think so!" she argued, running even faster.

Meanwhile...

"Ok, Ria, I say the best chances we have of winning this race would be to get both of those bikes up there." announced Jeff.

"Really? I see the big one, but the smaller one looks like a tricycle." she replied. "It might be slower, so how about we go for the skateboard instead?"

"That just might work, too." he agreed. "Either way, we've got to find a way to beat the others and gain the lead again."

"Hi, guys!" Natalya said, running with them.

"...Uh, hi." they both replied.

"So, how was your pretend wedding reception last night?" she asked. "Was it fun? Was it romantic? Was it exciting?"

"Uh, sure it was." agreed Jeff. "Why?"

"Just wondering. It would've been even more awesome if Randy and I won. He'd still be here, I would've still been with him, and we would've celebrated our wedded bliss together." she said dreamily. "But that didn't happen, did it?"

"Noo..." Maria said slowly. "Nattie, why are you telling us this?"

"Yeah, Maria and I won fair and square." agreed Jeff.

"If it wasn't for you two, Randy would still be here!" she exclaimed. "I hope you're happy!"

"Look, none of us wanted Randy here anymore!" cried Maria. "You weren't here, he put us ALL through a living hell!"

"Yeah, you may love him or whatever, but the rest of us don't. We're sorry, but-" began Jeff.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! I'm here to avenge my true love, and I'm gonna begin with you two!" she cried, pushing Maria down. "Oops! Sorry for the delay! HAHA...!"

"Ow!" she cried, getting up.

"Maria!" Jeff exclaimed, rushing back to her. "You all right?"

"I'm fine." she replied, still glaring at Natalya. "What is her deal?"

"She's just trying to stop us. But we can't let her." he replied.

"Jeff, sweetie, you didn't have to stop for me, you're falling way behind now." she said while he helped her up.

"So? We're in this together, remember?" he asked with a smile. "I'm not leaving without you."

She smiled back at him. "You're awesome, you know that?" she asked, while they ran off.

"I know!" he joked.

After that, they all reached their supplies...

"YEAH!" cried Edge and Christian.

"The bike's mine, dude!" exclaimed Edge.

"No, I want the bike!" cried Christian.

"ME!-ME!-ME!-ME!" they argued, playing tug of war with the bike.

"Oops, too slow, dudes!" Jeff exclaimed, speeding by and stealing the bike away from them. "First come, first serve. Let's go, Ria!"

"WHEEE!" she exclaimed, speeding by on the skateboard. "Our plan worked!"

"Well, damn." announced Christian.

"Want me to stop them, attack Jeff and make Maria watch?" asked Edge.

"No, too hostile." he replied. "We'll just have to make do with something else. Uh...I'll take the tricycle."

"What about me?" Edge cried.

He looked towards the pogo stick and the donkey, but saw Eve and Lita arriving at the same time.

Eve grabbed onto the pogo stick the same time that Lita did.

"Bitch, let go!" cried Eve.

"Make me!" argued Lita.

They tugged on the stick until Eve kicked Lita in the stomach...

"OW!" she cried.

...and took off with the pogo stick. "HA!" she laughed crazily. "You and your donkey friend have a great time!"

"Skanky little...ok, I don't have a choice." she said, getting on the donkey. "Hey, Natalya? What are you doing?"

She was relaxing on the carriage, with nobody to drive it. "Relishing in my soon-to-come victory. My Randy would be so proud of me right now, if he was here. Oh, I can just feel his strong arm muscles, just..." she babbled on.

"Crazy bitch." Lita muttered, trying to get the slow donkey to move. "Come on, dude, can we get a move on?"

The donkey looked back at her.

"Come on, we're dead last here! Well, except for her." she replied, then seeing Eve in the distance.

"YES, haha...!" she laughed from far away.

"Damn it, we gotta catch her!" Lita cried, accidentally kicking the donkey in the side, waking it up and speeding off. "WHOO! That's more like it!"

So, the race was on. Jeff and Maria were in the lead, with Eve creeping by next, followed by Christian, Edge, and Lita catching up with everyone.

"Edge! You still there, dude?" called Christian. "Damn it, I lost him."

"I'm HERE!" he cried, forced to wear the uncomfortable wooden sandals. "OW! OW!"

Then, he saw some kind of trap in his path. "Ooh, what's that thing do?"

He stepped over it and...

*BOOM!*

"AAAAHHH!" Edge screamed among the dust and debris.

From where he was, Jericho laughed. "Just what those parasites get for not listening to me. Oh, I love me." he said.

Back with the others...

Eve saw that Lita was catching up to her. "WHAT? HOW?" she demanded.

She smiled. "Don't ask, don't tell." she replied. "Now, let's drop a bitch, eh, donkey?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Eve.

Then, the donkey roamed ahead and forcefully kicked Eve off of the wall!

"AAAAHHHHH...!" she screamed.

"Haha!" Lita laughed. "Good boy!"

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Whoa, that was probably the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life, haha!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"Edge? Where are you?" Christian exclaimed, trying to move as fast as he could on his tricycle.

"Right here, dude." he replied.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, seeing him cling onto the back of the tricycle. "Hey, what happened to you?"

"Oh, Jericho tried to blow me up earlier. No harm done." replied Edge.

"Cool. Are you allowed to ride with me here? What if Jericho finds out?" he asked.

"Like I care what he thinks! There's no way I'll be able to win with these legos on my feet, that's for sure! Besides, I think I'm getting corns on my feet." Edge replied.

"Too much information, dude!" cried Christian.

"Well, if I'd have that BIKE, we wouldn't have this problem!" he called to Jeff.

"Whatever, dude, you took too long to get it, just deal with it!" he called back.

"Oh, I'll show you, 'Just deal with it'. Christian, pedal faster!" he commanded.

"What are you gonna do, man?" he asked, doing what he was told.

"They're catching up to us!" cried Maria.

"Yeah, I know." agreed Jeff. "We just gotta move faster, babe."

Then, the two caught up to them.

"You two having fun on your post honeymoon?" demanded Edge.

"Dude, you lost last time, like I said, just deal with it!" Jeff exclaimed. "It's not my fault you're being a sore loser!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU SORE LOSER!" Edge cried, sticking out his foot so that Maria's skateboard tripped over it.

"NO!" she cried, falling to the ground.

"Maria!" he cried, pedaling too fast to stop the bike.

"Forget it, Jeff, just go on! I'll catch up to you!" she called.

"Maria-" he called back in protest.

"Just GO! Don't worry!" she exclaimed, hopping back on her skateboard.

She rode some more, but didn't see another trap in her way...

*BOOM!*

"AAH!" she cried.

He sighed sadly and rode ahead. "Aw, man. Babe, the least I can do is win for you. And that's what I'm gonna try to do." he said quietly.

"HAHA!" Edge laughed evilly, speeding ahead with Christian.

"Sorry, man!" Christian called sympathetically.

"And you won't even stop for your girlfriend, how terrible of you. Hahaha!" Edge laughed again.

Jeff growled and pedaled faster.

Meanwhile, Eve continued falling until she broke through the roof of some Chinese novelty store...

"...AAAAAAHHHHH!" she cried, finally landing while this guy looked at her in surprise. "Oh, just WAIT until I find her again-oh, hello."

He looked at her.

She looked at him.

"Complementawy soap?" he offered in a thick accent.

"Uh, no thanks, sir." she said. "I'm so sorry I barged in here like that, see, I'm in the middle of a race for a contest, and..." she began, seeing nunchucks on the wall. "Hmm! Say, how much are these nunchucks?" she smiled.

Back in the race...

"Hmmhmmhmm..." Jericho hummed. "Oh, those poor, pathetic parasites will never make it back in-"

"WHOOOOOO!" Edge and Christian exclaimed, speeding past the finish line first, followed by Jeff.

"Damn you, Edge." he grumbled.

"You're not mad at me, dude?" asked Christian.

"No. I actually feel sorry that you had to know him practically all your life." he replied, looking back to find Maria.

"WHOA, nelly!" Lita cried, finally joining them.

"Hey, Lita." greeted Jeff.

"Hey, dude. Where's Maria? I thought that she'd be with you." she said.

"I, uh, lost her back there." he replied sadly.

"SO, when do we go?" demanded Edge.

"Ok, well, since you parasites left before I could've explained anything, as soon as that giant gong over there is rung, the contest is officially over." announced Jericho.

"Hey, all." Nattie smiled, hiding behind the gong, still in her carriage.

They all gasped in shock.

"How the hell did you get here?" demanded Lita.

"Yeah, who drove you?" asked Jeff.

"I have my ways." she smiled, putting some things back in her purse.

Somewhere else...

Big Show sped away and hid in a nearby tent. "That girl is sick! How dare she blackmail me into showing photos of me breaking and entering into Jericho's personal spa room without his permission if I didn't help her cheat to win?" he asked.

Back with everyone else...

"LITAAAAAA-OW!" Eve cried, furiously joining everyone with her pogo stick before she smashed headfirst into the gong.

"Oh, goody! Time to move on to our next challenge, which, believe me, will be a very tasty one. Yah." Jericho exclaimed, leading everyone away.

Jeff looked back again to see where Maria was, and sighed. "Maria..." he said quietly.

Soon after that, they arrived to a restaurant...

"Ok, worms,-oh, hello, Maria! Nice of you to join us!" Jericho exclaimed. "Sorry, but since you came in after the gong, you won't be able to partake in the next challenge with us. Might hurt you during elimination time."

Charred and messed up from the explosion, she said nothing and took a seat on a nearby bench.

Jeff sympathetically looked back at her and looked miserable.

"Anyways, it's time for the second part of your challenge! We're here at P.F. Chang's, one of the best restaurants in fine dining cuisine." he explained.

"Cool, you're treating us to dinner?" asked Nattie.

"Nope. I'm treating you all to THESE!" he exclaimed, while 6 bowls of sushi looking things were placed in front of them.

"Sushi?" asked Edge. "I've always wanted to try sushi!"

"Eh, sushi, that is not, my fellow Canadian friend. Instead, these are Squirrel chunks!" he exclaimed.

"WHAT-GROSS!" they cried in protest.

"Yeah. Your second contest will involve you eating trials of different, disgusting foods. You'll eat it, like it, and open your mouths when you're done swallowing, to make sure you're ready for the next round. If you're caught as the last one chewing, or if you barf, you're out. The last person standing will win invincibility from tonight's elimination, mmkay?" he explained.

*DING DING!*

"Ooh, song time! So, without further ado, let's BEGIN!" he exclaimed, while the song, 'China' by the Red Rockers came on.

Jericho: "Danced with wind and danced with fire, killed the truth and call the liar. Bleeding in its mystery when the moon began to fall. Dreamers are not all they seem, sleeping in her silent dream, she locks it all inside and hides it all away..."

Christian, Lita, Edge, Nattie, Jeff, and Eve: "China, China, Calling out to history, is that the way it'll always be?"

Then, they began trying to eat the squirrel chunks, while Nattie secretly received real sushi chunks from Big Show, and Christian refused to eat it.

"This is wrong on so many levels." Eve winced, plugging her nose to avoid the taste.

"Ok, worms, show me your tongues..." said Jericho.

They all did, while Christian still didn't eat any.

"All right, Christian, you're out!" he exclaimed.

"Fine. Those poor, defenseless squirrels are already found splattered across every interstate and highway around..." he muttered, joining Maria on the losers' bench. "Hi, Maria."

"Hi, Christian." she replied, munching on a Three Musketeers bar.

"Ooh, can I have a piece?" he asked.

She nodded and gave him a small piece.

"Now!" Jericho began, singing, "China, China..."

Lita, Edge, Nattie, Jeff, and Eve: "Questions in my hand and then, answers gone till I don't know when..."

"Next up, a nice hot, steaming bowl of silkworms! GO, GO, GO!" he exclaimed, while bowls of the stuff was put in front of them.

Nattie secretly got a bowl of noodles, while the others had to suffer. "Yum!" she exclaimed.

"Just pretend it's steak, just pretend it's steak..." Edge muttered, trying to force the stuff down. "AGH, THIS AIN'T STEAK!"

"And TIME! Show me your mouths!" exclaimed Jericho.

They each did, while Jeff was still chewing. "Hmm?" he shrugged.

"Jeff, you're out!" he exclaimed.

After that, he snatched the chuck bucket and threw up, before joining Maria and Christian on the bench.

"Nice try, dude." replied Christian.

"Thanks. Uh, hey, Ria." he said. "Look, I feel terrible about leaving you behind before. I was going too fast on my bike to stop, and-"

"Enigma, you don't have to explain. Although, it would've been nice if you'd stopped for a sec." she replied with a smile. "Anyways, I'm not mad at you. Now, after what you just had to down, take some of my 3 musketeers bar."

"Thanks, baby." he replied.

"And again!" Jericho began, singing, "All you speak and all you hear, hand that's strong and voice it's clear..."

Lita, Edge, Eve, Nattie: "An unforgotten memory when the moon begins to call..."

"Here, we have thousand year old eggs, made from duck eggs coated with lime, ashes, and mud, and soaked in horse urine for 100 days until the yolks turn green and the whites become gelatinous and dark brown." explained Jericho.

Before anyone could eat, Edge suddenly heaved…right by his face.

Silence.

"1...2..." he counted slowly.

Edge scurried away to the losers bench.

Jericho: "Called you right and called you wrong, time, the shadow, sings your song..."

Lita, Eve, Nattie: "Don't lock it all inside and hide it all away..."

"Ok, next dish is a bowl of cooked fish lips, along with some simmered mountain rat, dipped in duck blood!" he explained, cleaning himself up.

Nattie smiled and grabbed a bowl of sherbet ice cream from Show, while Lita secretly pulled a chuck bucket near her.

"Ok, hold up, hold up!" announced Edge. "First, why's Lita over here constantly bending over with her chuck bucket? Trying to get rid of unwanted food?"

"Shut up, Edge." she muttered.

"And WHY does Nattie over there keep getting treats from Big Show, instead of the crap that the rest of us have to eat?" he continued.

Surprised, Jericho looked at Big Show, who casually ran away.

"Nobody sees the Easter Bunny!" Nattie cried, covering her bowl.

Jericho sighed.

"And Maria over here won't share her candy bar with me! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MADNESS!" Edge cried.

"All right. Nattie, switch bowls with Eve.

"Ah!" Eve cried happily.

"Lita, get rid of the chuck bucket."

She groaned and did what she was told.

"And Maria, please share the candy bar with Edge." Jericho finished.

"I can't, it's already gone." she replied.

"Fine, now can we finish the damn song so's I can get back to my spa?" he demanded. "Now, EAT!"

Jericho: "China, China..."

Eve, Nattie, Lita: "Calling out to history, is that the way it'll always be?"

Jericho: "China, China...Whoa, guys?"

Nattie and Lita looked grossed out before heaving at the same time!

"YAY!" cheered Eve.

"And Eve wins today's challenge!" concluded Jericho. "Which means that you gain invincibility, and you get to choose someone to join you in the Playa's Lounge."

"Ooh, ME-ME!" everyone cried.

"Ok, I'd like to choose Christian, cause we've been through a lot as a team, and it's only fair that he gets to relax with me!" she exclaimed.

"WHY?" cried Edge. "Uh, oh, I mean, Christian, buddy, enjoy that chair for me."

"I will. Thanks, Eve! WOOHOO!" he cheered, before looking back at everyone else, who was pissed. "Sorry."

After that, everyone headed back on the plane, heading to their next destination...

_"OOOOOOHHHHHHH!-*vomits*-Oooooohhhhhhh " _Edge cried from inside the restroom.

"Uh...I don't think we're gonna want to go in there after he does." announced Lita.

_"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" _he groaned, sickly.

"Touché." Jeff agreed, leaving along with everyone else.

In the Playa's Lounge...

"Eve, I gotta thank you again for inviting me to stay with you." said Christian.

"Aww, it's the least I could do. Especially after I harassed you so much yesterday." she replied.

"Nah, I understand, it was your time of the month, and I really don't want to go through that again, so let's just forget about the world and relax!" he replied.

"Okay!" she agreed. "Ooh, leftover wedding cake! Yummy! Anyway, this'll be like a slap in the face to Lita. I get to live the life of luxury, while she finally gets to envy me for once, isn't it great? And look, I bought these nunchucks!" she exclaimed, twirling them around. "The better to beat her with!"

"Uh, aren't you taking this feud with her a little too far?" he asked. "I mean, fighting solves nothing, and I just think-"

"Eat cake, Christian." she interrupted, shoving a slice in his mouth.

At the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, worms, welcome back to the big time. You've already tabulated your votes, and here's the results! One vote for Nattie, one vote for Maria..." began Jericho.

She gasped, and looked back to see Edge and Nattie smiling evilly.

"Don't worry, about it, babe." Jeff said quietly.

"Another vote for Nattie, another one for Maria, and one vote for Edge." he concluded.

"HEH?" Edge cried, glaring towards Lita, who smiled.

"Well, since it's a tie, we get to do another tiebreaker, right?" asked Maria. "Please?"

"Eh, I could...but instead, I'm gonna eliminate the two of you." he replied.

"WHAT?" Nattie, Maria, and Jeff exclaimed.

"Well, fine!" replied Natalya. "I did what had to be done. I get to finally join Randy again, and I accomplished my mission of breaking you two apart."

"WHAT?" Maria cried again, charging towards her, before she happily leaped off of the plane. "WOOHOO! NATTIE STRIKES AGAIN...!" She bumped her head off of the plane's door. "OW!"

Maria sighed. "Well, it's been so much fun with you guys." she said, grabbing her parachute.

"Red, come here." Lita said. "Listen, you've been a great friend to me this whole ride through, and I appreciate everything you've done to help me. Thank you."

She smiled. "Thanks for being a great friend to me, and for helping me when I needed help." she replied, about to hug her. "Oh, wait, you don't like hugs."

"You know what, screw it. Come here." she smiled, while the girls hugged.

After that, she faced Jeff. "Well, this is it, huh?" she asked.

He gazed at her before leaning in and giving her a passionate kiss. "I was hoping we'd both last here a lot longer." he said with a half smile.

"Me, too. So much for being the most dominant couple around." she giggled, wiping away a tear. "Anyways, babe, just stay around for as long as you can and try to win for me, ok?"

He smiled. "I'll do what I can. I love you, Maria." he said.

"Ok, soap opera time's over for today, have a nice flight!" Jericho cried, pushing her out.

"AH!" she cried, clinging onto the door. "Jeff, I love you, TOOOOOOO...!" she cried, holding onto his hands before they slipped out of each other's reach.

"No..." Jeff sighed, devastated.

"...And then there were 5." concluded Jericho. "How will they hold up now that the stakes have gone higher?"

"I hate you." Jeff said angrily, glaring at him.

"Yeah, I know." he smiled. "Well, find out next week on Total WWE, World Tour! Jericho...OUT!"


	31. Episode 21: Africa

Total WWE, World Tour: The Separation of Church and Christian the Great

Episode #21

"Shizzles, my loyal parasites! This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another crazy episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we traveled to China and its Great Wall, where tensions ran high, alliances were made, and revenge was in order. For one thing, Eve and Lita were dead set of getting rid of the other, while Christian and Edge began an alliance, like the good old days, and Natalya wanted to avenge her beloved Randy by planning on making Jeff and Maria pay dearly. Sabotage was everywhere, and the guilt was heavy on Jeff for not being able to rescue his lady love. After all that, Nattie somehow won the first challenge. The second challenge involved our parasites eating round after round of the grossest authentic Chinese foods available. After many eliminations, Eve, Lita, and Nattie were left, but after Edge called out Lita and Nattie for cheating, some changes were made, and Eve was the eventual winner, taking Christian with her to the Playa's Lounge for some relaxation. At the elimination ceremony, 2 votes went to both Maria and Nattie, and the two girls were forced to leave, but not without a crazy goodbye from Natalya and an emotional goodbye from Maria. This week, only 5 contestants remain, and the stakes are higher. Who will win? Who will lose? Who's getting the next ticket outta here? Find out next on Total...WWE….World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge in the Jumbo Jet of Fun...

"HYAH! HOO! HA! KUNG POW!" Eve exclaimed, demonstrating her new nunchucks. "Cool, right? I only got em for $5 bucks!"

"Uh, but don't they have a different rate of currency in China than in the States?" asked Christian. "How'd you pay for it?"

"Simple, I spoke to the guy in Chinese and he accepted my cash and now I got these nunchucks to beat Lita with!" she exclaimed, flipping them around, nearly whacking Christian in the head.

"WHOA!" he cried. "Easy, tiger! Careful with those things, you're gonna brain someone that way. Most likely, me."

"Sorry, but I'm so excited for our fight!" she exclaimed, still twirling them around.

"Eve, I know you don't like Lita-" he began.

"Christian, I can't stand her. As a matter of fact, I hate her!" she replied.

"Ooh." he said.

"Yeah. She's done a lot of low things in the past, and this can be my chance to show her how pissed I am at her." she replied. "Haven't you ever hated anyone that much?"

"Well, I've never really hated anyone before Randy came in the picture. Insulting my best friend Edge, then trying to steal him back, kissing unsuspecting women and then threatening them...dropping a rat on a guy while he's taking a nap...attempting to beat me with a Swedish meatball..." he growled angrily.

"Uh, Chris?" she asked.

"Give me those nunchucks." he said, taking them from her. "THIS IS FOR YOU, RANDY!" he cried, furiously swinging them around until they flew out of his hand and broke through the HD TV. *SMASH!* Then, it fell off of the wall and crashed to the floor, before catching on fire and some interns arrived to put it out.

"CHRISTIAN!" Eve cried in shock.

"Oh, crap." he said, shocked. "Well, there goes the I Dream of Jeannie marathon on TV Land."

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Ok, that is the last time I let Christian stay with me in first class. I feel bad for that poor TV. Anyways, Lita, consider THESE a warning in the future. *twirls nunchucks around before they break the screen* Aww!"

-Back outside-

* * *

She playfully punched his arm. "Thanks a lot." she replied, snatching her nunchucks back.

In the Losers' section...

Jeff was listening to his ipod, sadly looking out the window, missing Maria.

"Hey, dude." greeted Lita, joining him.

"Hey, Lita." he replied.

"Still missing Maria, huh?" she asked.

"Every time she's not around." he sighed.

"I know." she agreed. "Look, I'm just glad she's made you really happy, because I don't tolerate anyone who hurts someone who's like a brother to me."

He chuckled. "Well, thanks, sis. And you're right, she's made me totally happy, happier than I've ever been before. So, on that note, can I ask you for an opinion on something?" he asked.

"Shoot."

"Well, we've known each other for like, nearly 5 years, and when she first arrived to the company and ever since then, we've been through a lot together. So, do you think it's right to give her a promise ring at the end of the season?" he asked.

She looked surprised. "Wow, uh, if you want my opinion, I honestly say, go for it, dude. From what I've seen during my time here was that you two are pretty inseparable. But you need to ask yourself that same question. Do you want to do this?" she asked.

He looked thoughtful, but before he could reply, Edge approached them and cried, "DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?"

"What?" Lita demanded, annoyed.

"Eve, that little enemy of yours got to invite Christian into the first class lounge, but not ME!" he explained. "This is a crime! Christian and I always do everything together, right?"

They both glared at him.

"Why, I tell you, WHY? I mean, I know that Christian's my best bud, but how do I even know if he's enjoying that special chair the right way? Wha-What if he's not using the chair at all? Oh, DEAR GOD, NO!" he babbled on, while Jeff gestured for Lita to join him somewhere else. "That special chair has to be at the correct temperature, and-hey, where'd everybody go?"

-Hidden Camera-

* * *

Edge: "Anyways, back to business. Since Christian and I ARE in an alliance together, we have to win this next one! Shoot, all we gotta do is beat two girls, who are ready to kill one another, may I remind you, and Rainbow Brite, who's busy missing his little girlfriend. How easy will this be?"

-Back Outside-

* * *

Soon after that, the plane landed and the gang headed outside to meet with Jericho, who was wearing a Dashiki. "Hey, worms, how ya doing?" he greeted.

"Uh, nice getup, dude." Edge chuckled.

"I know you're being sarcastic, dude. You're just jealous cause I have more fashion sense than all of you combined, am I right?" he asked.

Silence.

"HAHAHA!" they all laughed.

"Good one!" exclaimed Christian.

"Prudes." he replied, glaring at them. "Anyways, welcome to the Serengeti plains, which are located in the heart of Africa, where your challenge will take place...right now."

"What do we gotta do, race lions through the desert while singing Hakuna Matata?" asked Jeff.

"Hmm!" Jericho thought happily.

Edge nudged him. "Dude, don't give him any ideas!" he cried.

"Tempting, but I've already got plans for you all, right over here." he said, gesturing towards a display of 5 different gourds settled on platforms, with a basket of plums on the side. "Ok, so your first challenge involves a combination of Africa's two most popular sports, cricket, and, of course, soccer, as seen in this year's FIFA world cup. Now the object of the game is simple. Each player will race one at a time to reach to that basket of plums and snatch as many of them as you can, and head back to the starting line. Now, seems too easy, right?" he asked.

"Yes, can we please keep it that way?" Eve asked, twirling around her nunchucks.

"Eh, let me see-NO!" he shouted. "And that's where the soccer comes in. While the contestant runs across, everyone else has to kick soccer balls at them to make them lose their plums, and trust me, you'll need as many plums as you can get. Now, here's the cricket part of the contest. Each of you will have to swing your plums towards one of those gourds over there, and you gotta try and break it open. The person who breaks theirs open first wins a very valuable advantage for the second part of the challenge. Understand, hypocrites?"

Eve twirled her nunchucks blankly, while the others just stared at him.

"I really just don't care anymore, Jericho." announced Edge.

"Great! Now, first person, GET READY!" he replied.

After that, Edge was up first and sped towards the basket and snatched up a handful of the plums. While he headed back to his line, Jeff and Lita smiled towards one another and furiously kicked soccer balls towards him (along with Eve and Christian), knocking him out!

"Haha, I got this in the bag! You losers can just-*gets peddled with various balls and falls out* " he cried.

Next, Eve was up and sped towards the basket. She grabbed a handful of the plums and headed back, while everyone (mostly Lita) was trying to peddle her with the soccer balls. "GO DOWN, BITCH!" she cried to her.

"Shut up, Lita! You want a piece of me-ooh." Eve cried, dodging the balls, but accidentally knocking herself out with her nunchucks.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "All right, that was the second most epic thing I've ever seen, haha!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Next, Jeff was up and sped towards the basket. He snatched up a handful of the plums and started to head back, when he thought he saw someone who looked like Maria in the distance. "...Maria?" he asked, surprised. He dreamily jogged towards her, but was snapped out of his fantasy when Edge kicked a soccer ball at him, knocking him out next.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That felt good." Edge smiled.

Lita punched him in the jaw.

"OW!" he cried. "I don't get no satisfaction."

Next, Christian was up and sped towards the basket and grabbed a handful of the plums before heading back, but when a few soccer balls flew towards him, he dodged them all and even balanced one on his knee. "Hey, look what I can do-*ball slips up and whacks him in the jaw*-OW! I bit mah tongue!" he whined.

Finally, Lita was up and sped towards the basket. Eve purposely kicked a few soccer balls towards her a little bit early, while Lita leaped over them and was able to grab some plums before dodging soccer balls from everyone else, and instead, she flip kicked the soccer balls back at each of them.

"OW-OOF-OY!" they cried.

"Oops. Sorry." she replied.

After that...

"Well, see how fun it is?" exclaimed Jericho. "HEY, YOU!"

He caught Edge aiming a ball towards him.

"Yeah, YOU!" he continued. "Throw that ball at me, and I will feed you to the baboons. They run rampant around here." he said threateningly.

He slowly aimed down the ball and hit himself with it. "Happy now?" he asked, on the ground.

"Very. Now, let's begin the next part. Each of you have to try and break open a gourd over there with your plums and your cricket rackets. First person who does, gets the advantage. Ready, set, HAKUNA MATATA!" he cried.

Each of them tried to break open their gourds, while Eve tried to sabotage Lita by stealing some of her plums. While her hand was down, Lita caught her and stepped on her hand.

"OW!" she cried.

"Don't do it again." Lita told her.

She glared at her.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "First of all, I don't even know how Lita even made it this close in the game, but I gotta make some kinda alliance with someone in order to help me take her down. For good."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Agh! Running low on plums. Edge, lend me some of yours, will ya?" asked Christian.

"I don't want to share!" he complained.

"Dude, we're in this alliance together, meaning that you help me and I help you!" he argued.

"I know that, but you still have enough to keep you going, now let me concentrate!" Edge cried, before accidentally splattering one in the back of Jericho's head.

"HEY!" he cried.

Edge whistled dismissively.

"First, you throw up in my face. Then, you threaten to throw a soccer ball at me. Now, THIS?" he demanded, showing him the flattened plum.

"Uh...I didn't do it?" he asked.

"Who did?" he asked.

He pointed to Christian.

"DUDE!" he cried. "Jericho, I didn't do anything-"

"Save it! Just continue before I sick some baboons on you." he replied, heading off.

"What the hell was that, dude?" Christian demanded.

"No time to explain, must..win...prize!" he replied, tossing plum after plum at the gourd. "Must...get...chair BACK!"

After a few more minutes, Lita swung and broke open her gourd first!

"...And Lita wins the first contest!" announced Jericho.

"Nice!" she cheered.

"Great work, Lita." Jeff said, knuckle punching with her.

Eve glared at her.

"Now, the rest of you have to break open your gourds in less than 10 seconds, or you'll pretty much be screwed for the rest of the day. MOVE IT!" he cried.

The rest of them furiously swung, while Jeff opened his second, Edge got frustrated and threw his cricket board at it, opening his, and Eve opened hers next.

"And...TIME!" called Jericho.

"Aw, DAMN!" Christian cried, not able to open his.

"Oh, Christian. That's what you get for throwing plums at the host, eh?" he asked with a smirk.

"For the last time, I didn't do-" he began.

"Whatever. Now, for winning first, Lita, you get 10 paintball tranquilizers!" he exclaimed, handing her these small balls.

"Paintball tranquilizers? I didn't know they had these." she said.

"Yeah. Observe." he said, throwing one at a nearby intern, knocking them out cold. "Voila. Now, the rest of you. Everyone else look inside your gourds for surprises!"

They all opened theirs to find slingshots and hunting goggles.

"Cool, I can really do some damage with this thing!" exclaimed Jeff.

"So, for coming in second, dude, you get 6 paintballs, Edge, you get three for being a moron and using your cricket board instead..." began Jericho.

"That's injustice!" he argued.

"Eve, you get 2, and Christian, you get 1 for failing." he finished.

He glared at him. "Maybe I DID throw that plum at you!" he said mockingly.

"Now, you'll need all these supplies, because you're gonna be hunting for one very dangerous creature." Jericho said spookily.

"Ooh! Ooh!" exclaimed Edge. "Your crazy half brother from the Newfoundland?"

"No, he's just a freak of nature." he replied. "Anyways, you guys are gonna be hunting for something deadly. Something unheard of. Something that just may kill you by the end of the day." he continued, while some interns wheeled in a huge crate.

"I WANNA LIVE!" Eve cried, terrified, furiously swinging her nunchucks around.

"What the hell are you gonna do to us, dude?" demanded Jeff.

"Oh, it's not me that's gonna do anything to you, it's..." he began, breaking apart the crate to reveal an even worse Zombified Cena trapped in a cage. "Cena!"

"AAAH!" Eve shrieked, leaping behind Christian.

"WHOA!" they cried in shock.

"Dude, you look like a rat monkey!" cried Christian. "Or that dude from Lord of the Rings."

He growled and snarled at him.

"Didn't we throw him outta the plane?" asked Lita.

"Yeah, but Big Show saw him lingering around under the cargo area, so we kept him here. For now." replied Jericho.

"I feel sorry for the poor guy." Jeff said sympathetically. "Do you even know who we are anymore, dude?"

He tried to bite him.

"Whoa, I guess not." he replied.

"Yeah. So, here's your second challenge for the day. Zombie Cena here will be let loose somewhere around the Serengeti plains, and your jobs are to use your hunting supplies to hunt him down. The person who does, once again-" began Jericho.

"Wins invincibility and gets to invite someone, blah blah blah." they all finished.

"Hey, don't steal my thunder, all right?" he demanded, unlocking the cage, while Cena went free. "Now, GO CATCH A CENA!"

So, they all ran off, but not without trying to make some more alliances...

Eve caught up with Edge and Christian.

"Hey, Christian!" called Eve. "Got a sec?"

"NO!" cried Edge.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to be in an alliance with me for now. We could really cover a lot of ground and-" she began.

"Look, we all know you're only doing this to get back at Lita, well, IT WON'T WORK!" interrupted Edge.

"NOBODY'S TALKING TO YOU!" Eve shouted back.

Christian chuckled. "Eve, as much as I'd love to, I'm already in an alliance with Edge. Hey, you can join the both of us if you'd like." he said.

"NOOOO!" Edge whined.

She glared at him. "Not with him around. Thanks, anyway, Christian." she replied, heading off on her own.

"Yeah, we don't need any chick slowing us down." Edge smiled.

"You're so harsh, dude. Anyway, can you explain why you ratted me out to Jericho earlier?" he asked.

"Look, it's not a big deal anymore, can we just move on?" asked Edge.

"Is it because Eve invited me in the first class lounge instead of you?" he asked. "You wanted that damned chair so badly?"

"MOVE ON!" he shouted.

"Guess so." Christian replied.

Somewhere else, Jeff was searching on his own...

"I swear, I saw Maria back there!" he told himself, while he searched around. "Ok, maybe I'm just seeing things. Anyway, I wonder how I should propose to her. 'Maria, it would be a great honor to me if'-no, too fancy. 'Yo, Ria, me? You? Whaddya say sometime in the future we tie the knot-ugh, no, too street. Oh, what if I screw up in front of her? It'll just make me look like a fool to her. I'll think more about it later, now I just gotta-"

*rustle rustle*

"Cena?" he asked, whipping around with his slingshot ready. "That you?"

Then, he saw something with red, flowing hair approaching him.

"...Maria?" he asked, trying to get a closer look. "Whoa, you're really back!"

The long haired silhouette sped towards him, while he happily sped back towards it. They reached even closer to one another..."Ria, I can't believe it's really you! I-"

..before he realized that he was in the path of a lion.

He stopped in his tracks. "(BLEEP) me." he said quietly. "Nice kitty, I'm just gonna go-AAAAHH!" he cried once the lion pounced on him.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: *struggles to reach camera* "Ria, as you can see, I love you so much...it hurts. *falls back down* Uh."

-Back outside-

* * *

Somewhere else, Eve was on her own, searching for Cena while trying to think up another plan for getting the upper hand on Lita...

"Ok, I can't make an alliance with Christian, definitely not with Edge-maybe Jeff." she said, lighting up. "No, he's like, best friends with Lita, he wouldn't want to side with me. I guess I'll have to take care of things by myself." she replied. "Now, where the hell did Cena go?"

Then, while she searched, a baboon leapt from a tree, grabbed her...

"What the-AAH!" she screamed.

...and hung her by her shirt on a high branch. "HEY! What are you doing? Someone, please help!" she cried.

Near where she was, a mangled Jeff ran into Lita, who also looked mangled up.

"Dude, what happened to you?" asked Lita.

He sighed. "Got attacked by a lion. You?"

"Jaguar." she said casually. "Hey, whaddya say you and I search for Cena together? Might as well, right?"

"Like an alliance!" he agreed. "I don't see why not."

"HELP!" cried a voice.

"Whoa, who was that?" he asked.

"I dunno. Let's go see." she replied.

Soon enough, they arrived to catch Eve hanging on the tree branch.

"Oh, no, it's you." she said, glaring at Lita.

"So. Having fun up there?" she asked back.

"For your information, a gang of baboons are keeping me hostage up here and I need to get DOWN! Jeff, you'll help me, right?" she pleaded.

"Sure! Let me-" he began.

"Jeff, don't." Lita stopped him. "Let her play with her widdle animal fwiends." she mocked.

"Hey, he can make his own decisions! Jeff, help me!" Eve cried.

"No, don't give in to peer pressure, we got better things to do. Come on, Jeff." Lita said, dragging him away. "That trash needs to air dry, anyway."

Looking back, all he could do was shrug and say, "I don't know anymore!"

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "So, that's how it's gonna be, huh? She tries to get another one of my friends to turn against me? That bitch is going DOWN!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Meanwhile, Edge and Christian were still searching, too...

"I can't believe Cena turned into a rat monkey." announced Edge.

"I really feel sorry for the guy, though. He looks like he hasn't eaten in months, and he puts Krueger to shame." replied Christian.

Edge chuckled. "Seriously. Now, where is he?...Hey, have you gotten taller?"

Christian looked him down. "You're getting shorter." he replied.

Edge looked back at him. "So are you." he replied.

They both looked down. "QUICKSAND! AAH!" they cried.

"Well, I didn't want it to end this way. I'm sorry I ratted you out to Jericho, dude. Can you ever forgive me?" asked Edge.

"Sure, whatever." he said quickly, getting a stick. "Now, we just gotta find a way to pull ourselves outta here."

Then, Zombie Cena emerged from the bushes and grabbed onto the stick.

"CENA!" they cried.

"Help us out, please!" pleaded Christian.

"Yeah, get us outta here and maybe I might try to at least like you." added Edge.

He pulled the other end of the stick with his teeth and was able to pull them out before running off again.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE, WOLFMAN!" cried Edge. "Fine, I STILL don't like you, then!"

"Dude-hey, you hear something?" asked Christian.

On the other side of the bush, Jeff and Lita also heard something.

"You hear something?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah, I think it might be Cena." replied Lita.

"I think Cena might be back." Edge told him. "Paintballs ready!"

"Let's go!" Jeff cried.

"RAAAAAA!" Edge and Christian cried, speeding towards them, tossing their tranquilizer balls toward Jeff and Lita while they tossed theirs back towards them. "YAAAAHHH!" they cried back.

"OOH!" Edge cried, getting hit.

"OY!" Christian cried.

"AH!" cried Lita.

"OW!" cried Jeff.

Paralyzed, the four just lied there on the ground.

Silence.

*DING DING!*

"Hey, worms, guess what? It's singing time once more, WHOO HOO!" exclaimed Jericho, arriving on a safari truck.

Edge made a weird gasping noise, while a bird pecked on Christian.

"Worms?" he asked.

Silence.

"Are they dead?" asked Show.

"YO!" he shouted, while they barely woke up. "Look, I really don't give a damn that you've all been tranquilized and you can't move, but it'll look ME look bad if you all just do nothing but sit your lazy asses here! Now sing, or else I'll eliminate ALL of ya! Oh, I'm cool." he replied while the song, 'Helena' by My Chemical Romance came on. The three were now clad in black suits in a church setting, with Lita playing the dead-but alive-ballerina chick.

Christian: "Long ago, just like the hearse you die to get in again, we are...so far from you..."

Edge: "Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate, the lives of everyone you know..."

Jeff: "And that's the worst you take, from every heart you break, and like the blade you stain, well I've been holding on, tonight!"

All 3: "What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay, so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight..."

Christian: "Came a time, when every starfall brought you to tears again, we are the very hurt you sold..."

Edge: "And what's the worst you take, from every heart you break, and like the blade you stain, well I've been holding on tonight!"

All 3: "What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay, so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight. And if you carry on this way, things are better if I stay, so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight..."

*Lita awakens and twirls around the boys during the interlude*

Jeff: "Can you hear me? Are you near me? Can we pretend to leave and then, we'll meet again, when both our cars collide?"

All 3: "What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay, so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight. And if you carry on this way, things are better if I stay, so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight..."

After the song ended...

"Well, that was fun. So, I'm guessing you guys thought you found Cena too, huh?" asked Christian.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you guys thought you found him, too." replied Jeff.

"He actually just rescued us from an immanent doom not too long ago." replied Edge. "Now, c'mon, let's just look for the creeper so this episode can be done with already."

"Let's-Yeah, really." they agreed, walking off together.

"Hey, where did Eve go?" asked Christian. "I haven't seen her in a while."

"Oh, she was abducted by baboons and was stuck up in a tree." Lita said casually.

"Oh, my God, is she all right?" he asked, worried.

"I don't care." she replied.

"But, guys, maybe we should go back and find her." he continued. "What if she's hurt or something?"

"She wouldn't let me help-NO!" Jeff, Lita, and Edge all replied.

Where Eve was, she woke up to find herself surrounded by a whole group of baboons!

"Huh-AAAAAH!" she shrieked. "WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT FROM ME?"

Then, they all stepped towards her, threatening to attack her.

The leader baboon pointed to her nunchucks.

"My nunchucks? Aw, hell no, this is MINE!" she argued.

After that, the baboon shrieked loudly and the herd charged towards her, while she quickly leapt out of the way. "Oh, you best not be messing with the wrong chick!" she exclaimed, leaping back while all the baboons collided with one another. One after one each tried to attack her, while she did a series of kung fu moves with her nunchucks. "Yeah, it's the Eve of Destruction, BITCH!" she exclaimed, finishing off the last one.

After the baboons were left in a crumpled heap, she smiled and headed off. "Time to join the others." she said with a smile.

Meanwhile, Jeff, Lita, Christian, and Edge were still searching...

"...So, you ever hear that one about the guy and the nun's sister?" asked Christian.

"Not really." replied Jeff and Lita.

"Thought so. Well, I don't know how it goes, either-WHOA!" he cried, tripping over Edge's leg and landing in a berry bush. "What the hell, man?"

"Just wanted to see you'd fall for the oldest trick in the book." Edge said with a smirk.

Christian glared at him.

"Kidding! Just a little practical joke, dude." he replied.

"Ha." he said. "Ok, I'm gonna go and wash this crap offa me. Wait for me, ok?" he asked, heading to a nearby lake. While he wasn't paying attention, he noticed something emerging from the water. "...Jaws?" he asked shakily.

Then, Zombie Cena appeared, scratching his claws across his shirt!

"AAAAAAHHH!" Christian screamed in horror. "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SORRY FOR, BUT GODDAMNIT, I'M SORRY!"

Edge, Jeff, and Lita sped to the scene to see everything.

"DAMN!" they all cried, surprised.

"OW, OW, OW! I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A RAT MONKEY!" he continued screaming while Zombie Cena kept on beating the crap outta him.

"Uh, while nobody's actually noticing that Cena's 2 ft in front of us, I'll just go ahead and catch him now." Lita announced, using her slingshot to shoot a tranquilizer towards them, then knocking them both out. "I win. Jeff can stay in the first class lounge with me." she said quickly.

"WHAT?" demanded Edge.

Jeff smiled and saluted to him before heading off with her. "Later..." he said slyly.

Edge just stood there in shock, while Eve joined them. "What'd I miss-Oh, there's Cena! Oh, my God, what'd he do to Christian?" she asked while she unintentionally knocked out Edge with her nunchucks. "OOF!" he cried.

"Yeah, what Lita said. Cena will be left here, and the rest of you worms, meet me for the elimination ceremony! WOOHOO!" Jericho exclaimed, casually riding past them. "And soon, please, this episode needs to end already."

So after that, the plane took off, but Cena managed to break in from the roof...

"Ok, worms, you've all tabulated your votes and here we go." Jericho said during the elimination ceremony. "One vote for Eve, one for Edge, one for Christian, and somebody else didn't vote."

"Well, I-I like you all, I didn't want to vote for anyone. And who the hell voted for me?" demanded Christian.

"I did, only to break down Eve since you're the closest one to her around here." explained Lita. "Sorry."

Eve glared at her.

"And there's one last vote for..." began Jericho.

They all looked nervous.

"Christian. Buddy, you're going home." he finished.

"Ah, it's cool, I made it to the top 5, awesome enough for me. Edge...were you the other dude that voted for me?" he asked.

"Maybe." he smirked. "Dude, you're my best bro and you always will be. But this is a competition, and nobody can stand in my way of the million dollar prize. So, you're not gonna jump me, are ya?"

He chuckled. "Depends. One last belly bump?" he asked.

"YES!" he cried, doing just that, while Edge fell down again and flew into the bleachers. "Cool."

"Later, Christian-See you later, dude!" Lita and Jeff replied, sharing a cool handshake with him.

"Later, guys-hey." he began once Eve gave him a hug. "Christian, I'll miss you." she said sincerely. "We had lots of fun together, didn't we?"

He hugged her. "Totally! I'll miss you too, but we'll meet again." he replied, snatching his parachute and leaping off of the plane. "Later, peeps! WHOOOO!"

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "AWW! Now the only person that I could tolerate is GONE! Damn!"

Lita: "Now that Eve's closest comfort zone is gone, there's nobody left for her to cry to now that Jeff's on my side. This is only gonna get better from here."

Eve: "So now, Lita eliminates one of my closest friends on the show, clever idea, I'll give her that. But I can totally handle her on my own."

Jeff: "Why isn't this damned episode over already?"

Jericho: "And with that, 13 contestants are gone, only 4 remain, and they get even closer to that million dollar check. What will our final 4 face next? Find out next on Total WWE, World Tour! WHOO!" *Jeff glares at him* "Hi, there."


	32. Episode 22: Easter Island

Total WWE, World Tour: Remember The Name 

Episode #22

"My wormies! It's the Codebreaker here, Chris Jericho with another installment of TWWT coming right at ya! Last week, we headed to the plains of Africa, where it was nothing but alliances, alliances, alliances! For their first challenge, our parasites had to collect plums without getting mauled by soccer balls, which didn't look too good for anyone except for Lita. The next part involved some gourd-breaking, cricket swinging madness! Eve tried to sabotage Lita, while Edge refused to help Christian out. Lita ended up winning the challenge and the advantage in the next challenge, which was a huntdown of Zombiefied Cena, who was let loose. Jeff thought he saw his true love Maria once more, when it was really a lion who mowed him down. After a failed attempt at an alliance with Christian, Eve got herself abducted by a few baboons, while Lita refused to let Jeff help her. Cena later saved Christian and Edge from quicksand, and soon after that, EVERYONE got attacked with the tranquilizers! After all that, Eve kicked some baboon ass, Christian got jumped by Zombie Cena, and Lita took the advantage, winning the challenge and taking Jeff along with her. At the elimination ceremony, our resident peep Christian was booted off next and took 5th place in the competition. This week, 4 contestants remain. Their names: Edge, Lita, Jeff, Eve. Who will win and who will fail? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge of the Jumbo Jet, Lita and Jeff were enjoying their victory...

"Thanks again for the invite, Lita. I really missed this place." announced Jeff, relaxing on a recliner. "Even though the last time I was in here was like, 3 days ago."

"No prob, dude. I missed this place, too. We had some good times in here, huh?" she asked.

He chuckled. "Totally. Matt was always shoving Edge out of that damned chair, you always had a good insult for Edge..." he began.

"And I still do." she smiled.

"...And Maria and I had some great times in here." he sighed.

"Dude, have you called her?" she asked.

"Yeah, like every minute. It's the only way we can keep in contact." he replied. "And I'm still trying to find a good way to propose to her, but it's hard, you know?"

"This shouldn't be so hard for you. You're an artist, man, just say something that comes from the heart and whatever you say, I'm sure she'll appreciate it." she replied.

"You're right." he agreed. "I just hope she says yes."

"Do you even have a ring for her yet?" she asked.

"Well, uh, not yet-*she smirks at him*-but I will! Trust me, I will." he replied, trying out Edge's special chair. "Damn, Edge wasn't lying, this thing is pretty comfortable."

"Oh, that just reminded me. I also got this basket of candy as a reward, but I can't finish this all by myself. Would you like some?" she asked with a smile.

He lit up. "Is there skittles in there?"

"Lots, actually." she replied.

He furiously dug through the basket and took out every Skittles package there! "Holy crap, this is a gold mine! Thanks, Lita, you're the best!" he cried, ripping one open and downing the whole thing in less than 10 seconds. "Mmm..." he chewed. "Christ, this is good."

She looked stunned. "Dude. They're just skittles. Calm yourself down." she said.

"Yeah, but I can't, I mean, I love these things and the others usually never let me near these because I usually always have an intense sugar rush afterwards!" he said quickly, grabbing a few more packages. "I'm taking some of these for the road!"

"Jeff, you're scaring me." Lita announced.

"I don't care." he replied, still munching on the skittles. "So, what's the gameplan for today?"

"Same as before. Now that Christian's gone, Eve has nobody else to try and cuddle up to." she explained. "So, with the two of us against her, she won't have a chance."

"What about Edge?" he asked. "He's on his own, too. And as much as I want him to go down, what about the possibility of him and Eve forming an alliance?"

She looked thoughtful. "Possible, but neither of them want anything to do with the other. Even if they were an alliance, they'd fall apart in 45 seconds or less." she replied. "Either way, we're guaranteed a spot in the final 3."

"Yummers." he replied, still munching his skittles and raising a fist in the air to agree with her. "One nation, under a groove, nothing can stop us now."

She looked at him. "Parliament Funkadelic?"

"Yep." he agreed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Well...Edge and Eve could possibly form an alliance, but it sure as hell wouldn't work. See, the difference is, Jeff and I are actually friends, and those two aren't, so...there you go."

Jeff: " *still munches* God, I LOVE these things!"

-Back outside-

* * *

In the losers' section (where Zombie Cena was spying on them from a dark corner)...

"My life's become a swirling pile of nothing." Edge announced, lying face down on the bench. "My best bud Christian's gone..."

"You voted for him to leave, duh." Eve replied.

"...I'm STILL not in the first class lounge..." he continued.

"Because Lita hates you..." she continued.

"...and I WANT MY DAMNED CHAIR BACK!" he finished.

"You'll probably never get it back." she finished.

"You know, you're not helping, Eve." he said, glaring at her from the other side of the room.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to find a strategic way to take down Lita, and I don't know how." she replied.

"Yeah, well, I gotta find a way to eliminate Hardy next." replied Edge. "After I get rid of him, I can get rid of Lita, and I'll be the last standing member of Team Misfits who will be VICTORIOUS!" A rat fell on his head. "OH (BLEEP)!"

-Hidden Camera-

* * *

Edge: "Oh, if Randy could just see me now." He smiled and posed a thumbs up for 3 seconds before looking bored again.

-Back outside-

* * *

"Hmm. Edge, I have a plan." announced Eve.

"Oh, I'm scared now." he said.

"No, listen! The only way that I can get back at Lita and you can get back at Jeff, would be for US to form an alliance!" she exclaimed.

"How would we work together?" he asked.

"Well, for one thing, we're the only ones left, so we don't have a choice." she replied. "And aside from that, all we gotta do is work together for the next couple of weeks. We win the invincibility, we win the rewards, the others lose out, and we get what we want! Which includes a guaranteed spot in the final 3, and uh, you get your precious chair back once again."

He smiled. "Sounds tempting. Let me think it over." he replied, walking around.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "What IS there to think about? He can get everything he wants if he aligns with me! Gosh, he really IS a moron."

Edge: "Look, I'm the Ultimate Opportunist, and look what got me this far in the game! How am I supposed to just trust that princess out of the blue? I'll play along, but if she tries to turn on me instead, she better be prepared for a war, HAHA!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Soon after that, the plane was at its next destination, where Jericho and Show were fighting over control of the plane.

_"COME ON, LET ME TRY! I WANNA FLY THIS THING!"_ Jericho cried from inside.

_"DAMN IT, CHRIS, LEAVE ME ALONE!" _Show replied before the plane crashed into a statue and knocked it over before making a random, abrupt landing.

"_Oops. My bad." _Jericho chuckled.

Show sighed.

After that, everyone got off of the plane...

"...And we arrive to the place where giant rocks galore, woo-hoo!" Edge said sarcastically.

"Where the hell are we, anyway?" Jeff asked, still munching on another pack of Skittles.

"BOOM SHAKA LAKA!" Jericho exclaimed, joining the others, wearing a colorful headdress, paint on his chest, and wearing nothing but a loincloth. "Hey, worms!"

They looked at him in shock.

"Are you wearing underwear?" asked Lita.

He smiled. "No. I feel so damned free this way, you know? I might keep this look." he replied.

Eve gagged, Jeff stopped chewing, Lita looked sick, and Edge covered his eyes.

"Please, dude. I'm eating." announced Jeff.

"Anyways, welcome final 4, to our next destination, Easter Island!" he exclaimed. "Famous for its gigantic statues, and you know, stuff like that."

"Oh, my God, I heard an urban legend once about this place, but I need you to confirm this for me." announced Edge. "Does the easter bunny live here?"

Everyone groaned.

"I knew you were gonna ask a stupid question like that." Jericho said dully.

"Well, DOES HE?" he demanded.

He stared at him.

"Aww." he groaned.

"Anyways, let's just begin your first challenge. First things, first, you gotta wear these colorful headdresses to reflect the place's culture." he said, handing Lita a red one, Eve a pink one, Jeff a green one, and Edge a blue one.

"Ooh, feathery!" exclaimed Eve.

"Now, here's what you gotta do today. You're all gonna be going hunting for eggs!" he exclaimed.

"Candy eggs?" asked Jeff.

"No, Skittles." he replied. "Real live Condor eggs. Now, you'll be looking for three eggs that are the same color as your headdresses. And you'll be searching for them inside those statues over there." he gestured, pointing to statues of the eliminated contestants.

"Whoa..." Eve said, shocked. "How'd they make those?"

"Freaky..." Lita added.

"I want a statue of me. That's unfair." announced Edge.

"Maria?" Jeff exclaimed, seeing a statue of her.

"LET ME FINISH! After you find your eggs, you gotta run up that very dangerous tunnel path and end up that mountain over there, where your second challenge will take place. So, GET MOVING, WORMIES!" he exclaimed. "Wow, I love this loincloth."

So, after that, everyone was off to search for their eggs...

"Kelly!" Eve cried, seeing her statue. "Oh, how I missed you, so! Do you, maybe have an egg for your dearest friend?"

Then, a blue egg fell in her hand. "Oh, this is Edge's color...hmm..." she said thoughtfully.

Meanwhile, Edge searched with Randy's statue. "Hey, RANDALL! Guess what? I'm not as stupid as you think I am! I made it to the top 4 and you QUIT! That's right, QUIT! What do you have to say about that, buddy boy?" he demanded, kicking it, when a pink egg dropped from his ear. "Pink?" Then, he looked towards Eve. "Hmm..."

Meanwhile, Lita caught up with Matt's statue. "Uh, hey, Matt. Uh, what am I kidding, you're a statue." she said. "Anyways, I hope you're over this whole argument just as much as I am. Randy hurt the both of us, and I was stupid enough to follow him instead of you. So I just want to apologize for being so harsh to you. Maybe when we meet up again, we could be friends again, I hope. Just hear me out dude, ok?"

Then, a red egg fell from the statue and into her basket. "Oh! Well, consider this a good sign." she said with a smile.

Meanwhile, Jeff caught up with Maria's statue, wanting to practice his proposal.

"Even a statue couldn't capture your true beauty, Ria." he said, gazing up at it. "I guess now would be a good time to practice. Maria, over the years, we've been through a lot, and I'm sure you feel the same way, right?" he asked.

Then, a green egg fell from her and splattered on top of his head. "Ow. Ok, I guess that's a no. How about, uh, 'Just marry me one day, babe. You know once you choose me, you know you did right."

Another egg splattered over his head.

"Oh. Yeah, I didn't like that one, either. Well, babe, I promise, I'll find the perfect way to propose to you, just give me a little time." he replied, before a third green egg fell, landing in his hands. "Awesome." he smiled.

Meanwhile...

"I'm picking his nose." Edge chuckled, searching for his egg in Punk's statue. "Damn it, ANOTHER pink one?"

Meanwhile...

"Hey, Mel! You have any eggs for me? Any pink ones in particular?" asked Eve.

Then, she climbed up and found one on her earring. "Blue?" she asked again. "That's like, the 3rd one already. I better go and 'help' Edge out."

Meanwhile, Jeff was searching in Shawn's statue, while Edge searched in Hunter's statue.

"Edge." he said, munching on his Skittles.

"Skittle boy." he replied, glaring back at him. "So, how many eggs you got?"

"None of your business!" he replied.

Then, Edge found a green egg.

"Hey, hand that over here!" Jeff cried.

"Eh, I could. But I don't like you." he replied, purposely smashing the egg to the ground.

"You son of a-know what? In the first class lounge, I enjoyed that chair of yours." he said with an evil smile.

Edge grew serious. "You took my CHAIR?" he demanded.

"Yeah, it was like sitting on cloud 9. Loved every minute of it." he smiled.

Then, Edge stormed up to him and slapped the skittle bag out of his hand.

"My skittles." he said, before finding one of Edge's eggs and throwing it at him. "I'm-I'm gonna go now."

Edge just stood there with egg on his face.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: Egg dripped down his face. "Revenge, Skittle boy. REVENGE!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Later, Edge and Eve walked up and bumped into one another. "Hey, Edge, to help you decide whether you want to be in the alliance or not, I just happened to find 3 of your eggs. Now you're work is already done." she said with a smile.

He smirked. "So, you did. Thank you." he replied. "And you know what, I was just thinking about joining your alliance, too. So I picked up 3 pink eggs for you in return."

"Well, thank you!" she exclaimed. "So, we're really in the alliance?" she asked, sticking out her hand.

"Oh, yeah. For now." he replied, shaking her hand. "Let's head into the dark, creepy tunnel now, shall we?"

There, Jeff secretly saw everything. "Hey, Lita!" he called, joining her.

"Yeah?"

"Looks like our prediction was right. Edge and Eve ARE in an alliance together. I just saw everything." he replied.

"Damn. Well, then again, two morons who flock together, stay together." she replied. "It's all right, we just gotta focus on beating them. You got all your eggs?"

"Right here. You?" he asked.

"Yep. Let's get going." she said, while they both headed into the cave tunnel.

Inside, everyone kept on climbing up, and were getting exhausted in the process...

"OY!" gasped Edge. "Oh, how I hate walking!"

"Just deal with it. We're in the lead right now, so don't slow down." replied Eve.

After that, a giant rock ball rolled towards them.

"AAH!" they screamed, getting out of the way just in time.

Near where they were, Lita and Jeff were climbing up, too...

"How long is this tunnel, anyway?" asked Lita.

"I dunno." he replied, munching on a new pack of Skittles.

Then, the ball headed towards them, too!

"OH, MY GOD!" they screamed, dodging it just in time.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded.

On the exit side, Jericho laughed evilly while Show shoved ball after ball down the tunnel. "Why can't you do this job for a change?" he asked dully.

"Cause. I rule." he replied. "Those masomorphs are gonna get squished like the pathetic little bugs that they are! Oh, I love my job!"

Back in the tunnel...

"Isn't it great making it this close in the game, Edge?" asked Eve. "Being this close to the million bucks, just two more competitors away from the finals?"

"Sister, you've only been through this once, I've been trying to get this far for the past 3 years, so speak for yourself." Edge replied. "So, like, are there really condors in these eggs?"

"Well, don't open it and break it!" cried Eve. "Then, we'll have to go all the way back and look for more, while the others catch the lead. And we don't want that, do we? Alliancee?"

"You rhymed. This is serious." Edge replied.

Meanwhile...

"How many of those have you eaten?" asked Lita.

"This is like, my 6th one! See, there's original flavor, tropical, wild berries, and now, I'm on sour!" he exclaimed. "And then, I'm gonna start all over again!" exclaimed Jeff.

"AH!" Lita cried, hiding away when she saw another rock speed towards them.

"What-OOH!" he cried, being run over by the rock.

"Jeff are the eggs all right-oh." she said sadly, seeing him flattened on the ground, eggs splattered all over him.

Without saying a word, he struggled to eat another skittle.

"...And you're still eating those. Come on, dude, we gotta hurry and find more eggs before we lose this thing!" she exclaimed, speeding off with him.

Meanwhile...

"DUCK!" Eve cried, seeing another boulder.

"Quack!" Edge exclaimed while they hid in an underground hole, ducking while the boulder ran past them, leaving them unharmed. "Well, that was awesome. I gotta admit, that was a good plan from you."

"Well, thanks!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, not really, now let's GO!" he complained.

"Wait. Look, the egg!" Eve cried, pointing to the one he was holding. "It's hatching!"

"The miracle of life." Edge announced, while the egg hatched and a baby condor popped out. *cheep cheep!*

"Aww!" they both exclaimed.

"Wow, Eve. We're birdie parents now." he announced.

"Wow, I didn't know a baby would come outta this alliance." Eve said, surprised.

"I NEVER SLEPT WITH YOU!" he cried loudly.

She looked at him in shock. "Like I would ever want to sleep with someone like you." she said, walking ahead.

"Hey, I'm GOOD in bed, you don't know me!" he argued.

"Ew, Edge, please. Not in front of the baby." she replied.

After that, the baby flew out of Eve's hands and latched onto Edge's hair. *cheep cheep!"

"HEY! Look, little dude, not the hair, ok? NOT THE HAIR!" he cried, running off.

"STOP YELLING AT JUNIOR!" she cried back.

Meanwhile...

Jeff and Lita went back to search for some more eggs...

"Ok, all we lost was one of yours and one of mine." replied Jeff.

Lita leapt up and looked in Michelle's statue. "Come on, Randy's bitch, I need something here!" she cried.

Then, she looked in and picked up a green egg. "Yes! Jeff, found one of yours!" she called.

He searched in Mickie's statue. "Mickie, my friend, do you have a present for me...yes!" he exclaimed, finding a red one. "Found one of yours, too! Now, let's go before-"

Then, a huge shadow appeared over them, while they looked up.

"Oh, crikey." Lita said slowly.

A huge condor circled them and then flew straight towards them.

"Ok, I'm guessing he's gonna kill us and take our eggs now." announced Jeff.

"The hell he is, come on!" she exclaimed, speeding back into the cave with him, the condor on its tail.

Back in the cave...

"Come on, sweetie, come to Eve." she said, trying to bring the baby condor back to her.

*cheep cheep!* it cried, landing back in Edge's hair. "NOOO! You're ruining it!"

"Stop yelling at him! Besides, I think he likes your hair because it resembles a nest." she said with a smirk.

"Did you just insult my awesome hair?" he demanded seriously.

"A sailor's life's a wonderful life, a wonderful life for sure!" Lita and Jeff sang quickly, speeding past them.

"What's wrong with them?" asked Edge.

Then, they turned back to find the giant condor after them.

"HE'S MY BABY!" Eve cried, snatching the little condor and speeding off.

"Actually, he's mine, cause I helped to hatch it and-WHOA!" he cried while Eve dragged him along.

Back at the exit, Jericho said, "Ok, a little to the left, more...more...HEY!" he cried once everyone shoved him out of the way.

"Get out the way, Jericho, there's a giant bird after us!" Edge snapped.

"Bird?" he said, looking inside to find the bird approaching them. Before it did, though, Big Show dropped the fallen statue in front of the exit, stopping the bird in its tracks. *SQUAK!* "All done." he announced.

"Okay, then." announced Jericho.

"Dude, you really need to put some underwear on, that's just gross." Jeff said, munching on some more skittles.

"I have a thong on, jeez!" he argued.

"UGH! EWW!" they all cried.

"Just, no, Chris." Show said, covering his eyes.

"OKAY THEN!" he repeated. "Anyways, time for your next challenge. Lita, since you arrived up here first, you get to wear this umpire mask."

"Baseball?" she asked.

"Not necessarily. See, it's to protect you. Your second challenge is to climb up that mountain over there, and return your eggs to the condor's nest. And may I remind you, the head condor, is very, VERY protective of her young. So much, that she might peck you to death, and/or, you may fall off of the mountain. Mmkay? The one who successfully returns the eggs without breaking them, wins invincibility and gets to choose a person to take them into the Playa's Lounge with you. So, ready?" he asked.

Silence.

"GREAT!"

*DING DING!*

"Ooh, song time! Might as well sing to calm down the big bird up there. So, Lita, you're first!"

After that, the song 'Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me' by U2 came on, while they each took turns facing the condor. For this scenario, the condor suddenly became an evil monster destroying a town, and the four of them were superheroes whose job was to successfully return the egg to the nest…

Lita: "You don't know how you took it, you just know what you got, oh, you've been stealing from the thieves and you got caught. In the headlights, of a stretch car, you're a star..."

She wore a red superhero costume/mask and fought off the condor with telepathy powers, before the condor attacked her and broke her eggs.

Jeff: "Dressing like your sister, living like a tart, they don't know what you're doing, babe, it must be art. You're a headache, in a suitcase, you're a star..."

He wore a green superhero costume and used his dark powers to finish the condor, while trying to avoid a swinging beam in midair, before the condor came back and attacked him and his eggs.

Eve: "Oh no, don't be shy, you don't have to go blind..."

Lita: "Hold me," Jeff: "Thrill me," Eve: "Kiss me," Edge: "Kill me..."

Eve: "You don't know how you got here, you just know you want out, believing in yourself, almost as much as you doubt. You're a big smash, you wear it like a rash, star..."

She wore a pink costume and used her sword to try and slay the condor. She used various matrix moves before trying to return the eggs, but the condor got the upper hand and attacked her with its powerful wings.

Edge: "Oh no, don't be shy, there's a crowd to cry..."

Lita: "Hold me," Jeff: "Thrill me," Eve: "Kiss me," Edge: "Kill me..."

During the interlude, all four of them saw the condor signal in the sky, while Edge in a blue costume pushed through everyone and used his mind control powers to defeat the condor. Everyone tried to stop him with their powers, but he dodged all of them and reached the nest. The condor retrieved the baby bird on his head, and Edge stood victorious with the eggs still intact, while everyone watched in shock before he attacked them back...

Edge: "They want you to be Jesus, they'll go down on one knee, but they'll want their money back, if you're alive at thirty-three. And you're turning tricks, with your crucifix, you're a star..."

Lita: "Of course you're not shy..."

Jeff: "You don't have to deny love..."

Lita: "Hold me," Jeff: "Thrill me," Eve: "Kiss me," Edge: "Kill me..."

Edge leapt off of the nest, and drove away in a hovercar, enjoying his victory.

In reality, the little condor happily hopped back on Edge's head, while Jericho said, "And Edge wins today's challenge!"

Everyone looked shocked.

"Yes, everyone was surprised." he told a camera.

"Ok, I'm not paying child support for this thing-WHOOOO! WHOAAAAA!" Edge cried once the giant condor attacked him by sending him flying away with its beak.

"Oh, my GOOOOOODDDD...!" he screamed, flying through the air.

The girls watched, while Jeff continued munching on his treats.

After that, the fallen statue was finally put back up, only for Edge to bump into it again. "UH!" he cried, falling flat on his face. "OW!" Then, that statue fell, followed by the statues of the contestants, one after one after one, all in a circle.

Silence.

"Ok, well, let's go! I'm catching a draft." announced Jericho.

"Never wear that thing again." replied Lita.

Back in the plane, it was time for the elimination ceremony...

"Ok, worms, let's see who we can get rid of today!" he exclaimed. "One vote for Edge, one vote for Lita, one vote for Jeff, and one vote for Eve, surprise, freakin, surprise."

"So, who gets to go?" they all asked.

"Well, I don't have any tiebreakers, so you can all stay for another week!" he exclaimed.

"YES!-WOOHOO!" they all cheered.

"I'M STAYIN!" exclaimed Edge. "Oh, yeah, and I have to choose someone to bring with me in the Playa's Lounge. And since she helped me out so much today, Eve, COME ON DOWN!"

"WHEEEE!" she cheered, while Lita glared at them. "Revenge, Lita. What a word it is, WOO!"

"Well, I'm gonna look for some more Skittles. Come with me?" asked Jeff.

"Yep. I'm gonna try to pour Eve's martini down her shirt." Lita replied.

"So, these parasites got lucky this week. But trust me, next week, we're definitely getting rid of someone. Who, you ask? Find out next week on Total WWE, World Tour! Jericho...OUT!" he exclaimed.


	33. Episode 23: Canada 2

Total WWE, World Tour: Canada, Land of the Maple Tree/ A Birthday Blowup!

Episode #23

"MASOMORPHS! What up, this is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another adrenaline induced episode of TWWT coming up next! Last week, we headed to Easter Island, where we competed in a Condor flyin' egg hunt! There, Lita and Jeff were a definite team, while Eve and Edge got the message and decided to form an alliance. For NOW...Anyways, after a lot of madness, Jeff went on a skittle rush, got run over by a boulder, Eve and Edge became parents to a condor egg, they all nearly got killed by a giant bird, it was a big mess. The second challenge involved our friends trying to return their eggs to the condor's nest, where it was anything but easy. Fun, though. At the end, Edge won the challenge, the invincibility, and brung Eve with him into the Playa's Lounge. During elimination time, everyone nominated one another, but nobody ended up leaving just yet. This week, 4 will become 3. Will the tension between Edge, Eve, Lita, and Jeff finally blow up? And who will get the boot next, so close to the finals? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

In the Playa's Lounge in the Jumbo Jet of Fun...

It was still early in the morning, and everyone was just waking up...

Eve was trying to get some sleep, but it was hard to do while Edge snored loudly.

Eve's eye shot open. "Damn it, Edge." she muttered, tossing and turning on the couch. "Shut up!"

He snored even louder.

Annoyed, she got up, found a giant cork, and stuffed it in his mouth. "Thank you." she smiled, heading back to sleep.

After that, a few muffled sounds came from him, while she peeked back at him while he quieted down.

"MMM!" he groaned, waking up.

Then, Eve felt the cork hit at her head. "Ow! What the-" she cried.

Edge fell back to sleep, snoring loudly again.

Frustrated, Eve held her pillow over her face and screamed, "AAAHHH! I HATE YOU!"

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "I'd rather have Edge choose Lita to be in here than me! At least SHE could suffer listening to him instead of me! *sighs* But I gotta stay in the alliance. It got us in here, that's all that matters."

-Back outside-

* * *

In the losers' section...

Jeff was still sleeping, while Lita quietly sang, "Happy birthday, Enigma..."

He slowly woke up. "Wha? Oh, morning, Lita." he said groggily. "What'd you say about a birthday? Whose is it?"

"Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday, dude." she said with a smirk.

"MY birthday?" he said, checking a calendar, which said August 31st. "Oh, wow, it is! Yay, me!"

She chuckled. "You think that since it's your B-day, Jericho'll be a little easier on you today?"

"We can only hope so. But something tells me that he wouldn't give a damn. Hell, he wouldn't even give a damn if one of us were on fire, remember?" he asked.

_Flashback..._

"I GOT COOKIES! WHOO!" Edge cried before the microwave turned over while it was still on, and fell on top of him. "AAAAH! JERICHO, HELP, IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

He casually read a newspaper. "Go find a water bottle in the fridge, dude."

_Flashback #2..._

"Jericho, help, I punctured my eyeball!" screamed Eve, holding an eye.

"Get a band aid, you'll live." Jericho replied, reading his newspaper.

_Flashback #3..._

"Jericho, help, I accidentally ripped off my own arm!" cried Jeff.

"There are some sewing supplies in the closet. Can you get me a beer, by the way?" he asked.

_Back to today..._

The two laughed.

"Wow, Jericho really is a horrible person." concluded Lita.

"And I've had the pleasure of dealing with him for the past 3 years. Thank God it ends soon." added Jeff.

_"Attention worms, we're here at our next destination, please GET YOUR ASSES OUTTA MY PLANE! That will be all."_ Jericho announced.

Outside...

"Hey, worms, guess where we are today?" asked Jericho.

"Canada?" Lita asked dully.

"DING DING DING! Correct!" he exclaimed.

"WHOO!" cheered Edge.

"I just guessed." she said dully.

"Oh, if only Christian were here to celebrate Canada with me." he continued. "Well, what part are we in? All I see are dirt and rocks and crap."

"Well, all this 'dirt and rocks and crap' is really a vast amount of digging ground for paleontologists. See, we're here in Drumheller, where your challenge will involve you worms digging for dinosaur bones and creating your very own, you guessed it, dinosaurs! So, now, you guys head back into the storage hold, grab some art supplies, and GET MOVING!" he exclaimed.

Jeff smiled.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Sweet! A challenge all about creativity? This is mine for sure! Which means I'll have a guaranteed spot in the final 3! Man, this birthday is awesome already, since nothing went horribly wrong yet!"

-Back outside-

* * *

In the storage hold in the plane, everyone grabbed some supplies...

"Hey, Jeff, today's your birthday?" asked Eve.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" he asked.

"I heard from-" she began.

"So, you were eavesdropping on us is what you're saying." interrupted Lita.

"Mind your own business, Lita, I'm talking to Jeff!" she exclaimed.

"Well, he wants nothing to do with an enemy. You're with Edge right now, so go and chat it up with him!" she argued.

"And I'm gonna go before you both start playing tug of war with me." Jeff said, grabbing a box and heading out.

"As if you didn't know, Lita, Jeff's my friend, too, and I can talk to him whenever I want to. I'm only with Edge for the alliance, which doesn't mean that I have to like him, which I don't!" argued Eve. "Maybe YOU should be the one worrying about Edge, since he's a former flame of yours. And everyone knows that former flames are always rekindled."

She glared at her, while Edge secretly heard everything.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Why the hell would I still have a thing for Edge? After everything we've been through, I mean, really? For one thing, he's annoying, an moron, pushy, bossy, funny, kinda cute-wait, I didn't say those last two parts! I still hate him."

Edge: "I HEARD EVERYTHING! I KNEW you had a thing for me, I knew it!"

Lita: "Edge, get the hell out of my personal space. *shoves him out* NOW."

-Back outside-

* * *

"You like me, don't ya?" asked Edge.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" asked Lita.

"What?"

Then, she squirted a pack of Elmer's glue in his face. "Maybe now, you'll stop talking." she finished, walking off.

"MMM! Elmer'z scglue!" he said, mumbled.

So, after that, the gang began digging for bones...

Jeff was digging for his, when he found a tall one. "Ooh, perfect!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, dude, what'd you find?" asked Lita.

"This beauty." he replied, revealing his. "I already have the perfect thing in mind. What are you gonna build?"

"I don't have a clue yet." she replied. "Listen, just between you and me, we should stay as far away from Eve as possible, ok? Who knows that kind of crap she's gonna put in your head."

He sighed. "Ok. Look, I know you two hate each other, and there's nothing that I can do about it. But please, leave me out of it." he replied.

"Jeff, she's in an alliance with Edge, I just thought the best thing to do would be to avoid contact with the both of them!" she exclaimed.

"Lita, please listen to me. I love you like a sister, but Eve's also a good friend of mine, and I don't want to be in the middle of any of this. It's my birthday, I'm not supposed to be the stressed out one around here." he replied with a smirk. "Unless you want me to be miserable today."

She chuckled. "Of course not. Ok, you can talk to whoever you want, but feel free to call an ambulance once I beat the hell outta that princess over there." she replied.

"I HEARD YOU!" Eve cried back.

"Oh, why don't you go stick those bones up your-" she began.

"You know, you two could take this to Jerry Springer one day. I'd pay to see a bikini catfight between you two." Edge chuckled, digging up some more bones.

"QUIET, PERV!" the girls snapped.

"I am not a perv." he replied. "Anyways, Eve, I wonder what Lita and Hardy are chatting it up about over there."

"I dunno, but it probably has something to do with a strategy of theirs, or they're just talking smack about us." she replied.

"But, I don't want to be talked smack about." he replied. "Well, I'm ready to build this dinosaur now."

She looked at him.

"On my own." he continued.

She looked at him.

"Which means that you can go away now." he finished, annoyed.

"FINE!" she cried. "I got a better dinosaur to make, anyway."

Then, she was walking past Lita, who was in the middle of building her dinosaur. "You know, you're gonna scare away my dinosaur if you keep looking at it. And by gosh, the dinosaur's already dead. Figures that someone like you could wake the dead." she told Eve.

She snarled before kicking the dinosaur down. "Oops, I guess you gotta start over again, ha HA!" she laughed obnoxiously.

Pissed, she snatched up a huge bone and started chasing her around with it. "Get back over here, you damn cheerleader!" she cried.

"AAH! Help, gothy's gonna beat me! HELP!" Eve screamed, running around.

Jeff just sighed, while he continued building. "Thank God I'm not a part of this." he muttered. "It's my birthday." he smiled.

Soon after that, everyone's dinosaurs were finally finished...

"Ok, worms, you built em, and now it's time to explain em! Eve, you go first." said Jericho.

"Ok, well, I've built what I call, The BelEVEasourus!" she exclaimed, revealing a tall modeled dinosaur, with ribbons streaming from it, and had sparkles strewn all over it. "It took all the glitter and ribbons that I could find."

Edge crossed his arms, Jeff smiled politely, while Lita rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's so girly." she muttered.

"Interesting! Ok, Edge, yours?" asked Jericho.

"Well, aside from this preteen disaster," he began, while Eve gasped.

"I beg your pardon!" she cried.

"Here's a REAL dinosaur. HUZZAH!" he exclaimed, revealing a super tiny one.

"...Where the hell is it?" asked Jericho.

"Here! It's called the Pet Dinosaur!" he exclaimed, holding it in the palm of his hand. "See, I couldn't find any dinosaur bones, so I used some bones from that prime rib steak you were gonna have for lunch!"

"YOU DISMANTLED MY STEAK?" he demanded.

"Yeah. And made this!" he exclaimed.

The others were just silent.

"...Moving on! Lita, your dinosaur?" he asked.

"Hoo rah." she said indifferently, revealing a moderately big one, which was painted all black.

"Cool." Jeff and Edge said quietly, while Eve crossed her arms.

"I call it 'Twisted Reality'. Cause it comes from a dark time in my past."

"Take it to the graveyard, goth!" cried Eve.

"Shut up, Chica!" she snapped.

"So, are you gonna explain why you painted it black?" asked Jericho.

"No." she replied, glaring at him.

"All righty then! And birthday boy, you're up!" he exclaimed to Jeff.

"Take a gander at this." he said, revealing a dinosaur which had the head of a T-Rex, but the bones were assembled in a totally different pattern, and to top it off, he smeared glue over it and tossed sand over it.

"Ooh!" they all cried, amazed.

"So, uh, I didn't really have time to come up with a name for it, but all I really did was put all the bones together in a crazy way, and throw sand over some parts to make it look authentic." he explained.

"Well, preach on, Michelangelo." announced Jericho. "Now that we've explained em, I'm not gonna be judging them, but you are!"

"Heh?" asked Edge.

"Using one of my favorite tools." he smiled evily.

A few minutes later, Edge was sitting in an electric chair. "I thought they only used these for criminals in jail." he said shakily.

"It's just a little lie detector chair, nothing to worry about! So, basically, you say whose dinosaur you like the best, and you don't get shocked. Simple as that. The person whose dinosaur gets the most amount of votes, wins! So, Edge. Confess." he smiled.

"Uh, I liked mine because-"

*ZAP!*

"You can't vote for your own." Jericho added.

"OK! I like uh, Lita's *ZAP!* Uh, Eve's-*ZAP!*-JEFF's! Jeff's, okay?" he cried, sobbing. "Please leave me alone now."

He smiled evilly, liking that he was getting zapped.

Next, Lita was in the hot seat. "Jeff's for the win." she said with a smile, without getting zapped.

"HEY! ZAP HER!" cried Eve.

"I told the truth, bitch, move on." she replied.

After that, Jeff was in the hot seat. "In all honesty, I have to say Eve's.-*ZAP!*-WHAT? I'm telling the truth!-*ZAP!*-ok, well, I like Lita's a lot, too!" he finally confessed. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Eve shook it off, while Lita smiled. "I knew you were a true friend, Jeff!"

Finally, Eve took the hot seat and said, "Jeff's was the best for sure!" she exclaimed without getting zapped.

"Aww, you guys!" he cried happily. "You're only saying this because it's my birthday, aren't you?"

"Not just that! You really have talent." Eve smiled.

He smiled back, while Lita looked jealous.

"Ok, no more lovey dovey stuffs!" complained Jericho. "Now, Jeff, for winning the first challenge, you get this lovely power drill as a reward for the next challenge."

"Sweet!" he laughed happily. "Power tools! This is like, the greatest birthday ever!"

Meanwhile, Edge looked pissed. "What about my pet dinosaur?" he asked grumpily.

Then, he turned around to find Jeff smiling and approaching him with the power drill. "No. NO! LEAVE ME ALONE, RAINBOW BRITE!" he cried, speeding away while Jeff happily chased him around with the machine. "HAHA!" he laughed evilly.

"LEAVE ME BE, YOU MANIAC!" he cried back.

Later...

"All right, wormies, let's just begin this next challenge cause I got things to do after this. Now, since this place is located in Alberta, Canada, it's also the home of many oil rigs. Basically, what you're gonna do is dig up a barrel of oil and bring it back to the plane. The first person who does, of course wins invincibility and all that same junk I've been repeating for the last 17 episodes. But beware of flying boulders. That's all I gotta say. So, Lita, since you get second place, you get this trusty pickaxe and this other thing." he said, tossing her one.

"Sweet!" she exclaimed.

"Eve, you get this sand shovel and bucket from Toys R Us." he said, handing it to her.

"Baby toys?" she demanded, while Lita laughed.

"What about ME?" demanded Edge.

"Well, you didn't make a real dinosaur, and you dismantled my steak, so you gotta just dig with your hands. Good luck, WORMIES!" he said, heading off.

"Yeah, and it was GOOD steak, too!" Edge snapped, angrily heading off.

Soon after that, everyone was off to work...

Edge angrily found his own place to dig and furiously started digging a huge hole in the ground.

"Hey, Edge." Lita said, joining him. "Why aren't you working with your little alliancee, Eve?"

"I'd like to work alone, IF you don't mind." he replied.

"Dude, what's the matter with you? So, you lost by making some tiny piece of junk, big deal, get over it." she replied.

"Leave me be." he continued, still digging.

"I'm not until you tell me what's bothering you." she said.

"Why would you care, anyway? Wait, ok, just answer me this. Earlier in the confessional, did you mean those things that you said about me?" he asked.

"What?"

"Everything! Seemed like you still really had a thing for me, but like, you couldn't stand me at the same time. So, just to make things clear, which one is it? You like me, or you don't?" he asked.

She sighed. "I don't know why you're so serious about this now. Look, what we had before, it ended up being a disaster, don't you remember? And I don't want to go through that anymore." she explained.

"So, you hate me then, ok, goodbye." he said, waving her away.

"I didn't say that! Look, do you still have a thing for me or something?" she demanded.

"Maybe." he muttered.

"What?"

"Maybe I do, all right? Now, can you please leave me alone so I can finish this?" he demanded.

"Edge-"

"Leave me alone!" he snapped.

"Uh...O-ok, then, I'll be going now. Over there." she said surprised, but quickly, heading off.

Meanwhile..

Jeff was searching for a place to drill, while Eve joined him. "Hey, Jeff!" she greeted.

"Hey, Eve, what's up?" he asked.

"Nothing much, I just wanted to thank you for voting for my dinosaur. Although it wasn't near as awesome as yours." she replied.

"Yours really was nice. It had, I dunno, something different and abstract about it, y'know?" he replied.

"Aww, I feel special." she smiled. "You're so nice, how can you stand being friends with someone like Lita?"

"I've known her for the past 10 years, Eve, it's been a long ride through. But that doesn't mean that you and I still can't be friends." he replied.

"I know." she replied, before seeing a huge boulder fly towards them. "AAHHH! Jeff, look out!" she cried, tackling him out of the way before the boulder landed.

Somewhere else, Big Show was busy loading a huge catapult with boulders, while Jericho casually sipped a lemonade. "Whoo, work off that energy, Show! You can do it!"

He glared at him. "I hate you sometimes, Chris." he said grumpily.

"Yeah, everyone says that, but I never really care." he replied, unnoticingly undoing the catapult, sending Show and the boulder flying somewhere else.

"WHOA!..." he cried.

"Show? Oh, I guess he went back for a bathroom break." he said casually.

Meanwhile...

"What WAS that?" demanded Eve.

"Flying boulder." replied Jeff. "Thanks for the save."

"No problem." she replied. "It's too bad you'll have to spend your birthday this way, though."

"Honestly, I don't mind! I got power tools, I won the first challenge, I got to torment Edge, fun day." he replied, while in the distance, Big Show finally landed, and sped away shouting, "Chris, I'm gonna KILL you!"

They looked towards him.

"More like, weird day." Eve chuckled, while Jeff began drilling. "Uh, you probably don't want me here bothering you while you're trying to work. I'll go now."

"No, Eve, stay and dig with me. It's cool." he replied with a smile.

She smiled. "Yay!" she exclaimed.

Somewhere else...

"...HELP!" *THUMP!* Jericho cried, flying down and eventually being pinned down by a rock.

Lita was digging on her own, mumbling about Edge. "So, he does still have a thing for me. He didn't have to scream at me, though. Then again, maybe I kinda deserve it. He may be annoying as hell, and I still may hate him at times, but I can't doubt that he secretly makes me laugh. Aw, damn it, where's the oil?" she cried, frustratingly tossing her axe down, where oil spewed out. "Awesome!" she exclaimed, before another boulder trapped her down in her hole. "Ah! What the hell?" she demanded, trying to get out. "And when something good happens to me, something horrible happens afterwards. Great."

Meanwhile...

"Damn." Jeff said, not finding anywhere. "You'd think with a power drill, this would be easy."

"Jeff!" Eve cried, rolling a barrel towards him. "Look, I found one!"

"Nice job, Eve!" he replied. "Looks like you win invincibility."

"No, YOU win invincibility." she smiled, rolling it to him. "I want you to have it."

"No! Eve, you found it, you keep it!" he replied.

"Really, keep it! Think of it as my birthday gift to you." she replied.

He smiled and gave her a hug. "Thanks, Eve, this is awesome of you. Tell you what, I have a birthday cake in the plane, and I'll let you have extra slices, but just keep this between you and I." he said.

"Ooh! Is it chocolate with vanilla frosting?" she asked curiously.

"Yep."

"EEE! Thank you!" she exclaimed.

"No, thank YOU. Be right back." he said, heading off.

He rolled the barrel towards the plane, while Jericho and Show were enjoying some food. "Hey, birthday boy! Looks like your lucky day just got even luckier, since you now just won yourself invincibility and a guaranteed spot in the final 3!" Jericho exclaimed.

"Hey, today really can't get any better. Well, if Maria were here, it'd be even better, but you know what I mean. Anyways, mind if I head in the plane for a bit?" he asked.

"Aww! But Show and I are having a clambake and a barbeque for the final 3 party later on tonight! Won't you partake with us?" he asked.

"Wish I could, but NO." he replied, speeding inside.

"Can I have some of your birthday cake?" he called.

"_NO!" _he called back.

Meanwhile, Edge was still digging, until he finally found the top of his barrel. "VICTORY!" he exclaimed. "After all the long, hard hours, I AM DONE!"

"OW!" cried a voice.

"Heh?" he said, looking towards a struggling Lita.

"I...gotta...get outta here!" she cried.

"Oh, Lita. Hello there." Edge said, joining her. "Stuck in a hole, eh?"

"I bet you're enjoying this, huh?" she said, glaring at him.

"Yeah, kinda. Not so high and mighty, now." he said, before finding the leaking oil. "Ooh, what's this?"

"Edge, stay the hell away from that oil, it's mine!" she argued. "If you really still liked me, you'd help me out here instead of just being the-the selfish jerk that you are! That's one of the reasons why we broke up in the first place! So, do you want to keep being that way? Be my damn guest." she said angrily, while he looked towards her.

*DING DING!*

"You know what THAT means!" Jericho said happily, while 'It Ends Tonight' by the All American Rejects came on. Edge and Lita were suddenly on a stage, in a play-like setting…

Edge: "Your subtleties, they strangle me, I can't explain myself at all. And all the wants, and all the needs, all I don't want to need at all."

Lita: "The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving, maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted, on this evening, I give the final blow…When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight..."

Edge: "A falling star, least I fall alone, I can't explain what you can't explain."  
Lita: "You're finding things that you didn't know, I look at you with such disdain."

Edge: "The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving, maybe it's best you leave me alone…"  
Lita: "A weight is lifted, on this evening, I give the final blow…

Both: "When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight. Just a little insight won't make this right, it's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight..."

Edge: "Now I'm on my own side.."  
Lita: "It's better than being on _your _side…"  
Edge: "It's my fault when you're blind.."  
Lita: "It's better that I see it through your eyes…"  
Edge: "All these thoughts locked inside!"  
Lita: "Now you're the first to know…"

Lita: "When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight…"  
Both: "Just a little insight won't make this right, it's too late to fight It ends tonight,  
It ends  
When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight. Just a little insight won't make this right, it's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight...

Edge: "Tonight.."  
Lita: "Insight…"  
Both: "When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight."

After the song ended, Edge was able to pry the rock off of Lita, and then unintentionally brung her into his arms, while they shared a quick hug.

"Oh, uh, yeah." she said meekly, blushing a bit.

"That was powerful." Edge agreed, just as meekly. "Ok, how about this. I'll help you dig out your barrel, you help me dig out the one that I found, and we bring em to Jericho together. How about it?"

She nodded. "All right. But I still get to dig with my axe. You gotta keep using your hands." she replied, while they headed off.

"WHY? Why do you gotta be so mean to me?" he demanded.

"Cause you are an idiot!" she called back.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Ok, after helping me out, I realized that he's really not all that bad, I guess."

Edge popped in the room. "So, you dig me, right? Wanna make out with the Edgemeister?"

Lita: "Wanna make out with my fist, perv?"

Edge: "Aww, I heart you too, Lita."

Lita: "Ok, forget what I said, he still gets on my every last nerve."

-Back outside-

* * *

The two rolled their barrels to see that Jeff's barrel was the first one there.

"Damn it! No invincibility for us. AWW, NO CHAIR!" whined Edge.

"Dude, calm down. If Jeff was the one who brought this here first, he's safe already. Then, all we gotta do is vote for Eve and she'll be out next!" she exclaimed.

"Oh. Awesomeness!" he exclaimed. "Ooh, a clambake."

Later that night, it was time for the elimination ceremony...

"Well, friends, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and go back to the first season, and have a traditional campfire elimination ceremony tonight." announced Jericho. I have three marshmallows here, and I have the results of your votes. Birthday boy, you're already safe." he said, tossing a marshmallow to Jeff.

"Mmm." he said, munching it. "Good times."

"Now! We got one vote for Eve, one for Lita, one for Edge, and another one for..."

The three looked nervous.

"Hold on a sec." interrupted Jeff.

"WHAAAAAATT?" Jericho demanded. "I hate being interrupted at this point!"

"No, no, hold on! Look, before anyone has to leave, can't we at least celebrate the fact that we've made it this close to the end? I just want to share my birthday cake with you guys, so be right back." he said, speeding back into the plane.

They all waited for him to return, and when he did, he came back down the ramp with a chocolate cake with a bunch of candles already lit. "All right, we got a-oops." he said, seeing one of the lit candles falling towards the spilled oil on the ground.

"Jeff, **_NO_**!" everyone screamed.

From the side of the plane, Zombie Cena, some rats, and a few other creatures quickly fled out of the plane before...

"What's wrong with you guys?" asked Jeff.

**...*BOOM!***

Everyone ducked as the explosion sent a bright light, and plane pieces flying towards them. After the dust settled, the plane (and Jeff) were totaled.

Jericho gasped in horror. "N-No. M-My plane. My beautiful plane-**MY PLANE**!" he screamed in agony.

"JEFF!-You all right?" Lita and Eve cried while they, along with Edge went to check up on him.

He sat up, totally burnt. "Dude, are you ok?" asked Lita.

"...No..." he said shakily.

"Wait. The plane blew up, meaning that MY CHAIR'S GONE! NO!" Edge cried miserably, nearly pulling his hair out. "Thanks a lot, Rainbow Brite!"

"This is the worst birthday of my life." Jeff said sadly, while Eve put out a small dap of fire on the tip of his hair.

Meanwhile, Jericho roamed through the remains of the plane. "Everything's destroyed." he sobbed.

"So, uh, Jericho. Some coincidence, huh? We had to suffer in that plane and now the plane has to suffer instead. Heh." Jeff said shakily.

"SHUT UP!" he snapped.

"O-Okay." he said meekly.

"Because of YOU and your birthday, my plane is finished. And you know what, you can FORGET about that invincibility, you know why? Because you're OUTTA this competition! You're ELIMINATED!" he screamed.

"Dude, listen I'm sorry-" began Jeff.

"You owe me all the money this thing costs-" continued Jericho.

"-but shouldn't I be the victim here, I mean, I think I have third degree burns!" cried Jeff.

"I DON'T CARE! You're FINISHED-Ok, ok-I'm sor-I'M SORRY!" Jericho and Jeff screamed, before he stormed back with the others.

"...Okay. So, does that make the rest of us the top 3?" Eve asked slowly.

"Yes." Jericho said weakly.

"All righty, then." she replied.

"Wait, I just realized something." announced Edge. "Weren't we planning to vote off Eve?"

"Yeah." replied Lita.

"Then why the hell did I get a vote?" he demanded.

"Uh...hey, well I got one, too! Explain that!" she snapped.

He glared at her. "Ok, I confess. I voted for you, anyway." he said with a smile.

"And I voted for you, too. Looks like the competition's really on now that I got two enemies on my hands." she replied with a smirk.

"Same here. Get ready for a battle, Lita. When-if we get to the next-wait, Jericho, how are we gonna go anywhere now that the plane's totaled?" he asked.

"I-I don't know." he said, nerve wrecked. "Ok, folks, so, um, we don't have a plane anymore, thanks to Birthday Boy over there-"

"Well, I'm ready to go home now." Jeff said miserably. "Before I get yelled at some more."

"-but we're going to find some way to get to our next destination. Because I'm Chris Jericho, and I can make things happen, so don't fret, my friends. So-GoodBYE!" he started breaking down. "J-Jericho-out."


	34. TWWT Chatterbox 4

TWWT Chatterbox 4: Hawaii Showdown!

Episode #24

_"Because you had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_You had to open up your mouth, _

_You had to be a big shot, didn't cha,_

_All your friends were so knocked out,_

_You had to have the last word, last night,_

_You know what everything's about,_

_You had to have a white hot spotlight,_

_You had to be a big shot last night..."_

"WHOOOOO!" everyone cheered loudly.

"Hello, everyone!" greeted Melina. "And welcome to the TWWT Chatterbox!"

"Or, should we say, ALOHA!" exclaimed John Morrison. "We promised you that we'd be on location in a secret destination, and that just happens to be..."

"HAWAII!-WHOOOO!" everyone else cheered.

"And this is exactly where the final 3 competitors will compete in order to win that coveted $1,000,000 check!" added Candice. "Well, IF they get here."

"Yeah, as you saw on the last episode, the plane ended up getting blown up by a certain Enigma, so now the finalists are out on a road race to the sandy shores of Hawaii for their final test!" exclaimed Melina.

"Yeah! And before we begin, let's welcome our ever growing population over in the commentator section, Punk, Kelly, Mickie, Evan, Matt, Hunter, Shawn, Michelle, and of course, our bodyguard Dave!" exclaimed Morrison.

"Hey, why do you get your own separate intro?" demanded Michelle. "You think you're so special or something? You got something that the rest of us don't? Because that's just supposed to be me!"

Dave smiled. "I'm special. Plus I threatened to knock out the producers with my 1-2 punch if they didn't allow it, very deadly by the way, so, anyway, they gave me a raise." he explained, when his cell phone rang. "Johnson? Damn it, I am in paradise right now, leave me the (BLEEP) alone, goddamnit! I don't care that you're charging me for harassment, just shut the (BLEEP) up and don't call me AGAIN!" he screamed, before hanging up.

Silence.

"What? Move on." he said, while everyone looked at him.

"You need a stress buddy?" Shawn asked, offering him one. "I found a whole crate of these things in the gift shop! 5 for $1!"

"Thanks." he replied, taking one.

"Wait, Shawn, why are you carrying those in the first place?" asked Hunter.

"Uhh...they're soft and squishy, and fun?" he said nervously.

"You would only need one of those if you're stressed out. D-DO I CAUSE A PROBLEM FOR YOU OR SOMETHING?" he demanded.

He looked even more nervous. "Sometimes." he mumbled quickly, hiding under his hat.

"Oh, DO I?" he cried.

"Listen, Hunter, if you're gonna kill me, please do it in a way that's not painful, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?" he cried back.

Hunter shrugged. "Naw, it's cool. Give me one of those stress buddies." he replied.

"SO, now that that's settled, we got a fun filled show for you today! Let's begin, our guests today have been through triumph, separation, revenge, and irritation, please welcome the latest people eliminated..." began Morrison.

_"I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they tell me things that I will do, they show me things I'll do to you, they talk to me..."_

"Randy Orton..." began Candice, while he came out, looking back to make sure that Nattie wasn't following him.

"WHOO!" cheered Michelle.

_"Here she comes again, like good medicine, every step she takes, my blood is flowing, her legs go on and on for days...look out! She'll tear your heart out! Look out! She'll rock your world, there's no doubt..."_

"Maria..." continued Melina, while she came out and blew kisses to everyone.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" her friends cheered.

_"If you close your eyes, Your life, a naked truth revealed, Dreams you never lived and scars never healed(Scars never healed)In the darkness life will take you to the other side, And find me waiting there you'll see if you just close your eyes..."_

"Christian Cage..." continued Candice, while he searched out for his 'peeps'.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered his friends.

"And..." finished Morrison.

"No." Randy said, terrified.

"I'M HEEERRRE! ...Yeah." Natalya announced, joining them.

"Natalya." he finished.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU-YOU LOONEY TOON!" Randy screamed, running to have a seat next to Michelle. "Oh, hey, Chelle." he smiled.

She smiled back and gave him a passionate kiss. "I missed you, babe." she replied. "You did great out there."

"Thanks, it was actually a lot of fun." he replied, before slowly turning around to find Nattie breathing down his neck. "Hi, Randy."

"Seriously, can this chick be locked back up again?" demanded an annoyed Michelle.

"Really." Kelly replied, glaring at her. "She was the one who got me and Jeff separated in the first place! And now, he and the others are who knows where."

"Well, speaking of them, that brings us to our next topic - The final 3. Edge, Lita, and Eve." announced Candice.

"Let's take a look at our final 3, and who was the best chance at becoming the Season 3 champion." added Morrison.

Melina began, "Let's begin with the possible fan favorite around here, Eve. She may be one of the newbies, but she's proved that she's a pretty tough cookie."

Morrison added, "Yeah. In the beginning, she's been in the crazy triangle between herself, Matt, and Lita. And let's not forget those nasty catfights!"

"Don't remind me." Matt said grumpily, crossing his arms. "And AT LAST! My Little Brat screwed himself out of the finals and blew the plane up! I KNEW something horribly bad would happen with him still around! I KNEW-"

"DUDE!" everyone else cried to shut him up.

He sulked down in his seat.

Candice added: "Anyways, aside from the constant cattiness with Lita, Eve's proven to be one of the smartest and most promising competitors of the season, and personally, I hope she wins this year!"

"Yeah, it's about time a girl wins the cash for once!" agreed Mickie.

"YEAH!" the girls agreed.

"But hey, two guys have won the last two seasons." replied Punk.

"I was one of them." Shawn smiled.

"I say there's a good chance it'll happen again." he finished.

"What are you saying, Phil?" demanded Kelly.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you trying to say that a girl couldn't win?" she asked.

"Noo, all I said was that it's HIGHLY unlikely that a girl would win-" he replied.

"YOU SEXIST JERK!" Kelly screamed.

"WHAT?" he demanded, shocked.

"Wanna make out?" she asked happily.

"Okay." he said slyly, doing just that.

"Moving on, let's move onto our next finalist." Melina said, gesturing to the monitor. "Lita's been the quiet one, but I gotta admire her for her attitude, I mean, that's how she made it this close in the competition!"

Morrison added, "I like her style, too, but I think her only downfall will be her rivalry with both Eve and Edge. And aside from that, she should win the award for breaking the most hearts during the season, don't you think?"

Everyone nodded, while Matt shrugged.

"Have anything to say, dude?" he asked Matt.

"What? Yeah, we had our ups and downs and downs...and downs..." he replied.

Everyone looked at him.

"..Yeah. Moving on." he finished.

"She was fun to manipulate, too. Fell for me like a card." Randy smiled evilly.

Matt glared at him.

JoMo continued: "Anyways, she could be a strong contender to win. And now that brings us to our third and final competitor, Edge."

Melina said, "As much as I can't stand the guy, I gotta respect the fact that it's taken him 3 seasons to make it this far."

Candice replied, "Agreed. He's surprised everyone by winning a good amount of challenges, and I'm sure that none of you would even think he'd still be out as a strong contender for the mill, huh?"

Everyone except for Christian raised their hands.

"I thought so." Candice finished.

"Wow, none of you have any faith in the guy, do you? God." Christian scoffed.

Morrison finished, "Anyways, I guess Edge could be the true underdog in the action, but does he have what it takes to win?"

"Hmm. Magic 8 ball says: Try again later?" Hunter announced, holding one. "Aww. Magic 8 ball, do Shawn and I get to cause any trouble here in Hawaii?...Yes? WOOHOO!"

"NO, Hunter, we're in paradise, and I'd like to just sit here and relax, thank you very much." he replied, crossing his arms.

"Please, Shawn? Pleeeeeeaaassssee?" he dragged out for the next 30 seconds, while Shawn repeatedly squeezed the stress buddy.

"I won't go crazy, I won't go crazy, I will keep my sanity." he muttered.

"So now that chatty time's over, it's time for you guys to choose who you're rooting for in the competition. People who want Eve to win, sit over here, for Edge, sit over there, and for Lita, sit over there." explained Melina.

A few minutes later, Kelly, Punk, Hunter, Shawn, Mickie, and Evan were all Team Eve, Randy, Michelle, Christian, and Nattie were Team Edge, and Matt, Maria (who was undecided at first), and Dave were on Team Lita.

"Jeez, I feel so isolated over here." announced Maria.

"I would've went over to Kelly's side, but she tried to claw my eyes out, so I'm here instead." announced Dave.

"Ria, join us!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Team Eve for the win!" added Kelly.

She sighed. "It's hard to choose! Eve's one of my best friends, too, but-but-Lita saved my relationship, so I'll just have to stay here for now." she replied. "Wait, Matt, why are you here? Aren't you still angry at her?"

He shrugged. "Not really, actually. I was thinking and maybe trying so hard to vote her off was a bit much. We had a few good times out there, and I'll root for her to win. I know for one thing, I'm just glad my Little Brat's finally out of the competition." he replied.

"Stop being so mean to him all the time!" she exclaimed. "I see you got what you wanted, but aren't you even the least bit worried about how Jeff's doing? I mean, damn it, Matt, he was caught in an explosion, and he's God knows where right now! If my little brother or sister were in trouble, I'd be worrying my ass off right about now."

"But it's not the same with you, Maria. You're lucky enough to not have to share the spotlight with someone else all the time-" he replied.

"I love having a brother and sister to share the spotlight with!" she exclaimed. "Yeah, being the oldest child has its problems, but it's cool to know that you get to take care of somebody that can depend on you. Just hear me out. You should be grateful you have a little brother that looks up to you."

He looked down and crossed his arms again.

"Right on, Maria." Dave smiled, casually putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him.

"Dude, Kelly doesn't want you and neither do I." she replied, taking his hand off.

Meanwhile...

"Well, hello, Randy. Nice seeing you again." Christian said with a smirk. "I didn't know you'd still be rooting for Edge."

"Well, _Christian_, yes, I admit, I never thought in a million years that he'd outlast me, but I'm impressed by him, so that's why I'm rooting for him. And no, it's NOT nice seeing you again." he replied.

"Aww, why not?" he asked mockingly.

"You brought this basket case back to torment me." he said darkly, pointing to Nattie, who never let go of his leg, while Michelle tried to pry her off. "Nattie, let GO! Randy's MY man!" she cried.

"Mmm, what a nice leg you have, Randy. Made of pure, manly muscle." Nattie smiled.

He cringed. "Michelle, please get her off of me." he said.

"You know what? I'm gonna call St. Illness again and get them to send her back to the dark hole from where she came from. Be right back." she replied, heading off.

"HURRY!" cried Christian. "She's trying to touch him inappropriately!"

"Shut UP, Christian!" Randy snapped.

"Ok, everyone, now that you've decided who you want to win, we're gonna have a challenge today!" exclaimed Candice. "Here's the deal. One person from each group will race up this mini mountain here and grab a lei from this Tiki dude here. After that, you surf all the way down to reach the end. But the twist is, there's a few volcanoes nearby, so you gotta make sure you don't get fried in the process. When you reach your way down, you'll toss your lei over the animal of your choosing, which will be over here." she explained, while Morrison and Melina rolled out a board with various animals drawn all over it. "So, before we begin, each team has to choose an animal that reflects your choice's personality. Team Eve, you go first."

"Ooh, a bunny rabbit! I love bunnies!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Eve's nothing like a bunny rabbit." chuckled Evan. "I'd say she's more like a tiger." Then, a board fell on top of his head. "OW!" he cried.

"So, a tiger it is. Team Edge?" asked Morrison.

"A donkey?" Randy asked blankly.

"Shut up, Randy. I'd say Edge's like...like, a rottweiler!" exclaimed Christian.

"A rottweiler?" the other three asked in surprise.

"Yeah! You know, he's sneaky, attacks on a whim, it'll be perfect for him!" he replied.

"Ok, a rottweiler for Team Edge, and finally, Team Lita?" asked Melina.

"I dunno." announced Dave.

"I'd say a dolphin." replied Matt.

"Dolphin?" asked Maria.

"Yeah, dolphins are some of the most intelligent sea creatures, and Lita's intelligence got her this close in the game." he replied. "Pure logic."

"Yeah, well, last season, look how far my intelligence got ME! And I wouldn't be compared to a dol-" began Dave.

"It's OVER!" Maria cried.

"Why are you even on this team?" demanded Matt.

"...So a dolphin it is. Excellent! That means, each member of the team has to try and toss their lei over the animal that you chose, over there." Candice gestured, pointing to a rottweiler in Edge's place, a dolphin in Lita's place, and a tiger in Eve's place.

"Well, I ain't doing any of that." Punk announced, backing away.

"So, who's gonna step up and represent?" asked Morrison.

"Wait, what's the purpose of all this?" asked Mickie. "What happens if someone wins?"

"Well, whoever wins, the person they're rooting for in the show gets a HUGE advantage in the competition. So if you really want your person to win, you gotta win this first." he replied.

"Well, guys?" asked Hunter.

"I don't want to get my arm bitten off by that tiger!" cried Shawn. "Besides, I'm off to go jet skiing, anyway."

"Ooh! Sign me up!" he agreed happily.

"I probably wouldn't even make it up the mountain." announced Evan.

"You guys." Kelly scoffed. "Since Eve's one of MY best friends, I'll go for it." she replied.

"Wait, Kel!" cried Punk.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He gave her another passionate kiss. "Just wanted to do that." he smiled.

She giggled happily. "Ah hehehe..."

Meanwhile...

Randy, Michelle and Nattie said nothing and sat back down on the bleachers, while Christian glared at them and shook his head. "Pansies." he replied, walking off.

Silence.

"Wait, WHAT'D he call me?" demanded Randy.

"Oh, Randall, I love your gorgeous arm muscles." Nattie said, holding onto his arm.

"Michelle, how long is it gonna take those quacks to get here?" he demanded.

"Hopefully before I kill her-GET OFF OF HIM!" she cried, tugging Nattie off of her.

Meanwhile...

"I'm out." Dave said.

"I'll do-" began Matt.

"No, I'LL do it." interrupted Maria.

"You sure?" he asked.

"It's only a dolphin, they're the friendliest, aren't they? I'll be fine." she replied.

"Ok, Maria, Christian, and Kelly, you ready for the challenge?" asked Candice.

"YEAH-WOOHOO!" they cheered.

*DING DING!*

"Aw, not HERE!" he cried.

"Come on, we're in Hawaii! Singing and surfing, surfing and singing, it's a ton of fun!" exclaimed Morrison. "Now, on your marks, get se-"

"GO!" Melina interrupted happily. "Sorry, I'm just excited." she told him.

After that, the three sped off while Weezer's 'Surfwax America' came on...

Christian (grabs lei first): "The sea is foamin like a bottle of beer."

Kelly (arrives second): "The wave is comin but I ain't got no fear."

Maria (arrives third): "I'm waxin down so that I'll go real fast."

Christian (grabs surfboard and heads down): "I'm waxin down because it's really a blast!"

Kelly (heads down second): "I'm goin surfin cuz I don't like your face."

Maria (heads down third): "I'm bailin out because I hate the race."

Christian: "Of rats that run round and round, in a maze."

All: "I'm goin surfin, I'm goin surfin! You take your car to work, I'll take my board, and when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat..."

Christian: "My buddies and their honeys all come along."

Kelly (dodges volcano attacks): "They seem invincible as they surf along."

Maria (hides behind board): "The sea is rollin like a thousand pound keg."

All: "We're goin surfin, we're goin surfin! You take your car to work, I'll take my board, and when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat, You take your car to work, I'll take my board, and when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat..."

Christian: "All along the undertow is strengthening it's hold."

Maria (still hides behind board): "I never thought it'd come to this, now I can never go home."

All: "All along the undertow is strengthening it's hold, I never thought it'd come to this, now I can never go home!"

Kelly: "You take your car to work, I'll take my board." Christian: "(All along the undertow is strengthening it's hold.)"

Maria: "And when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat." Christian: "(I never thought it would come to this, now, I can never go home!)"

All: "You take your car to work, I'll take my board, and when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat...You take your car, I'll take my board, you take your car, I'll take my board!"

Christian: "Let's GO!"

In the background, a gang of sharks were chasing Shawn and Hunter around on their jet skis, while they sped for their lives.

"HELP MEE!" Shawn screamed in the distance, escaping the sharks.

"HAHA!" Hunter laughed happily. "THIS IS AWESOME!"

After that, Christian arrived to the animals first. "Come on, BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY!" he cried, tossing the lei towards the rottweiler, only it ate the lei instead!

"NO!" he cried, swimming back to save the lei. "LET GO, BOY!" he cried, tugging the lei back.

Then, the rottweiler pointed its paw towards the other side.

"What?" he asked, turning around.

*CHOMP!*

He turned red.

"_AAAAHHHHHHH_!" his scream could be heard all the way back to the others.

"Well, Christian's finished." announced Randy.

"Oh, Randall. What gorgeous thighs you have." Nattie announced.

His eyes bugged out. "DON'T LOOK DOWN THERE!" he cried.

"Christian, you all right?" Maria asked, joining him.

"That dog bit my ass." he whimpered. "And now, I'm gonna go off to cry."

"Aww. Well, here you go!" she cried, about the put the lei over the 'friendly' dolphin, but as soon as she reached for it, the dolphin furiously bit onto the lei and tried to rip it apart, while Maria tried to pull it back. "AAAAHH! OK, OK, OK! LET ME LIVE!" she screamed, letting go of the mangled lei, while the dolphin smiled and swallowed it.

Next, Kelly surfed down and tossed her lei towards the angry tiger, and it landed around its neck!

"OWNAGE!" she cheered happily. "Happy dance!" she exclaimed, doing a victory dance.

"WHOOO! YEAH, KEL!" her team cheered.

Later...

"Oh! Oh...I-I SURVIVED!" Shawn exclaimed, stumbling back on the beach.

"Wasn't that exciting?" asked Hunter. "Good idea to go jet skiing, by the way."

As a reply, he continuously squeezed the stress buddy some more. "Can we stop for a drink now?"

"Stop? Dude, we're in paradise, we gotta make the most out of it! Come on, let's go fishing." he replied.

"Oh! Well, that sounds sane enough. All right!" he exclaimed, heading off with him.

"Maybe we'll run into another shark!" exclaimed Hunter. "Wouldn't that be GREAT?"

He squeezed the stress buddy some more in reply.

Meanwhile...

"Well, Chelle, those quacks may not be here to take that basket case away yet, but you managed to do the next best thing." Randy smiled, while Nattie was in a corner, gagged and tied up.

"I'm proud of me, too. Now, let's just relax." she smiled, while the two leaned back and chilled.

"Heh. You know, after all this time, I hated you at first, and now look where we are." Randy replied.

"Yeah, I couldn't stand you." she agreed, remembering...

_Flashback (season 1)..._

_..."And Randy and Michelle, you'll be another team." announced Jericho. _

_"Damn!" snapped Michelle._

_"Well, it won't be that bad." Randy told her. "I mean, we haven't had any arguments or rivalries." _

_"Yet." she announced._

_"True. I hope we don't tear each other apart by the end of the day." he agreed._

_Later..._

_"I told you, my arms are too short!" she exclaimed._

_"Then find a way to do this!" he snapped._

_"15 more seconds, you guys!" called Jericho._

_"NOW!" screamed Randy._

_Then, Michelle had an idea. "Ok. Randy, open wide." she said, holding the whole plate._

_"Uh, wait, what are you gonna do with that?" he asked cautiously._

_"OPEN WIDE!" she screamed. "Ok, ok! Jeez!" he exclaimed, opening wide. Michelle took the entire thing and slammed it in his face. "EAT!"_

_Later..._

_"...You've gotten your way, so now, it's my turn." she exclaimed. "Let me on!"_

_"What? But I have a bad back! You know that I-" he complained._

_"LET...ME...ON." she said through clenched teeth._

_Later..._

_"Shut up! You don't EVER talk about my boyfriend like that!" she exclaimed._

_"Oh, you mean the one who left you weeks ago? Haha!" he laughed before she dragged him towards Jericho._

_"Jericho, I can't take another minute with him!"_

_During the finals..._

_"Randy, tell me again why you're even siding with me." said Michelle._

_"I just want you to win, Michelle. I'm trying to help you win, but you need to work a lot harder!" he exclaimed, while she looked in surprise._

_Season 2..._

_"As a matter of fact, yeah. I have a list of people who betrayed me in one way or another. It hurts, you know?" she asked._

_"Damn right." agreed Orton. "So, if you hang out with us, we'll take care of you. We understand." _

_She looked at them, but then turned around. "I don't think so."_

_"All right, if you say so. Let's be on our way, Edge." said Orton._

_"5...4...3...2..." counted Edge._

_"Wait!" called Michelle._

_"You rang?" he asked._

_"Maybe you guys do understand. I want to be a part of RKO." she replied. "Will you give me a chance?"_

_Randy and Edge smiled at one another. "Michelle, welcome to Rated RKO." Randy said, shaking her hand._

_Later..._

_"We're really getting some juicy stuff here! Next question. Since you apparently lied about Melina, do you have any romantic feelings towards Michelle?" he asked._

_Michelle blushed, and so did Randy. "We're just friends, all right? Nothing more." he replied. *BUZZ!* "OW!" he cried, getting shocked again._

_Michelle and Edge looked shocked, and so did Randy. "There you have it folks, Randy lied about Melina, but actually has a crush on Michelle!" exclaimed Maria._

_Later..._

_"Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks, and believe it or not, Michelle's always been there for me, and she's still my friend. And if any of you don't like it, then TOUGH! I've betrayed her in the past, and it's been bugging me ever since. Michelle, I never meant to hurt you back then." he told her._

_"Randy, I was angry with you after what you did, but I never hated you. Even when I never thought about it, you were always there to back me up and I really appreciate it." she replied. "I guess it took me forever to realize that I have a crush on you, too." she said with a smile._

_Later..._

_"Melina, don't talk that way to the woman I've really loved all along!" Randy exclaimed._

_Everyone gasped._

_"Yeah, I said it!" he exclaimed._

_"Wow, uh, Randy! I-I love you, too!" she exclaimed, surprised._

_"Aw, you guys!" Edge exclaimed, putting an arm around them both._

_Back to today..._

The two smiled, while Christian ran by and dumped a bucket of cold water on them before speeding off.

"OH!" they cried, leaping up.

"CHRISTIAN!" Michelle screamed.

"HA!" he laughed, running away.

"Oh, GO GET BIT ON THE ASS AGAIN!" Randy shouted, tossing the bucket back towards him.

Meanwhile...

"See, Hunter, isn't this relaxing?" asked Shawn. "Just two guys with nothing to do but sit here and fish. I can finally give my stress buddy a rest."

"I still wish something exciting would happen, though." replied Hunter. "Anyways, these past 3 years were crazy, huh, man?"

"You better believe it. Can't believe it's almost over." he agreed. "But we sure had a lot of times here."

"A lot is an understatement." he chuckled, thinking about all their good times, like their crazy times on the Island, the time they reformed DX during the second season, all the pranks they pulled on Jericho, the fights they got themselves in, the time Hunter got injured and Shawn made sure that he got help, the time that they made it to the finals together, the fierce competition they endured during the final contest, and the time that they both shared the million dollar check.

"It's really been awesome." Hunter concluded. "Oops, gotta get more bait. Be right back."

Once he got up, the bench tipped over, and Shawn flew into the water! "GAH!-" *SPLASH!* "HUNTER!" he shouted, squeezing the stress buddy again. "GET BACK HERE!"

"Calm down, Shawn, the best fish don't even come until about 2:00." he replied, still not seeing what was going on.

"Hunter, get OVER HERE!" he cried, now swimming away from the shark from before.

"In a sec, Shawn!" he replied, still not looking back.

Now, a fisherman's boat started reeling him in because they thought that Shawn was another fish. "OH, HELP ME ALREADY!"

"With what?" he demanded, finally turning around to see his friend in trouble. "Oh, my God. SHAWN!" he cried. "I'll save ya, buddy!"

"Couldn't say that about 3 minutes ago?" he asked, still being reeled into the boat, while Hunter splashed in the water to save him.

Meanwhile...

"Are you sure you want to do this, Evan?" asked Mickie.

"Totally. Now's my chance to show you that I'm not a total Urkel stand in." he replied, sitting on the edge of this giant floatie thing. "I'm man enough to be extreme. Let's DO THIS!"

"Okay! WHOO!" she exclaimed, jumping off of the pier and landing on one end of the floatie, sending Evan flying somewhere else. "WHOOOAAAAAA...!" he shouted, flying...

"EVAN!" she cried.

And flying, and flying...

"AAAAAAHHH!-OOF!" he cried, landing in a hornet's nest. "Oh, God."

"Evan, you ok?" Mickie called to him.

"HELP!" he cried, the nest over his head and the bugs attacking him, while he dived in the water to get rid of them.

"Oh, my God!" she cried, swimming to his rescue. "I'll save you, babe!"

Back on the main stage...

"What do we do now, babe?" Melina asked Morrison. "We have an hour show today, and we gotta think of some more challenges or something to do to pass the time."

"Maybe we should have some more singing." he replied.

"Where the hell did my John go?" demanded Candice. "I've been asking people for weeks and weeks and weeks and I still don't have an answer for where he could be! I'm so scared for him, I-"

"Oh, are you talking about Cena?" asked Christian. "I just saw him the other day. I heard that he was trapped in the plane for months and the last time I saw him he looked horrible and malnourished. Like a rat monkey. As a matter of fact, he tried to kill me the day that I was eliminated."

Candice looked beyond stunned.

"Well, gonna play in the water now. Later, peeps!" he said, rushing into the water. "WHOO!"

"Candy?" asked Melina.

"Are you ok?" asked Morrison.

"I'm gonna go lock myself in a tent somewhere." she announced, slowly walking away.

"...So..." began Melina.

"I still say we make someone sing to kill time." finished Morrison.

Meanwhile...

While Nattie freed herself and sped back to Randy...

"RANDALL, WAIT FOR ME!" she exclaimed.

Matt was on his own, thinking about what Maria told him earlier. _"Yeah, being the oldest child has its problems, but it's cool to know that you have someone that depends on you. Just hear me out. You should be grateful you have a little brother that looks up to you."_

He remembered all the good times that he and Jeff had on the Island, before remembering the time that he went on the TWA Chatterbox last season and confessed that he was no longer his brother.

_"But Matt, your own brother!" she exclaimed. "How the hell can you be this way?"_

_"Jeff Hardy is no longer my brother, understand? I want nothing to do with him anymore. Jeff, hope you're still listening. Since I was eliminated so early in the game, I'll be sure you won't win again. Your elimination time's coming soon, be sure of it." Matt said darkly._

_Later..._

_"Matt, how could you?" Jeff demanded, storming up to him._

_"Hey, I told you you wouldn't win another season! I told you that I'd find a way to eliminate you, and well, now you know." Matt replied._

_"You sabotaged my team's challenges, and-and you PAID to have me eliminated?" he demanded. "This is like, the worst thing anyone's ever done to me."_

_"Now you know how it feels to be in second place." he replied. "I'm only doing this to teach you a lesson."_

After he was snapped out of his thought, though, would he have a change of heart?

Meanwhile, Maria was on her own, also thinking about Jeff and was wondering if he was all right.

_Flashback..._

_Maria rushed to find Jeff, until she saw him in a garden. She smiled brightly as he smiled back, before she ran towards him and he wrapped his arms around her while she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Jeff, I love you." she whispered. "I love you too, Maria." he replied before the two sealed it with an extremely passionate kiss. _

After that, she remembered all the good times they had. The times where they hung out together in the second season, when she went crazy with the epipen and he calmed her down, the time where he rescued her in Jamaica, the time where he gave her a gold medal in Greece, the wedding challenge in Niagara Falls, the time where he helped her out on the Great Wall, all the problems they had, and all the times they were able to work through it. "Jeff, where are you?" she asked, worried.

Later, everyone met back up on the main stage to finish the show...

"Ok, gang, show's almost over, so we're gonna wrap things up around here." announced Melina.

"And before we do-" began Morrison.

"Hey! Sorry we're late!" Hunter announced, arriving with a disgruntled Shawn. "I just had to save Shawn from becoming fish food."

As a reply, he glared at him and angrily squeezed his stress buddy. "All this? It just isn't good for me." he said shakily. "It's-it's just not."

Next, Candice arrived and shakily said, "So, it's time to reveal the prizes that our teams won for either Eve, Edge, or Lita. Team Eve, since you came in first earlier, you win this wheelbarrow for her!"

"Wheelbarrow?" asked Kelly. "I nearly got burned by a volcano for THAT?"

"Team Edge, you win the consolation prize from coming in second, which is this baby carriage!" she exclaimed.

"And I got my ass nearly bitten off for THAT?" demanded Christian.

"What does Team Lita get?" asked Maria.

"Nothing!" she exclaimed.

"Aw." she pouted.

"Figures." Matt crossed his arms again.

Dave tried to get with Maria again, until she replied, "Not in this lifetime, dude."

"Sorry." he replied.

"Now, with a wheelbarrow and a baby carriage as advantages for Eve and Edge, how will Lita be able to keep up with the competition?" asked Candice. "Well, find out on the next episode of Total WWE, World Tour, where anything can happen!"

"Candice, are you feeling all right?" asked Melina.

"Yeah, you've been acting kinda weird ever since you found out about Cena." added Morrison.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine-I-I-HE'S TURNED INTO A RAT MONKEY!" she sobbed.

Punk pulled her aside to cry somewhere, while Morrison said, "Remember, everyone, take care of yourselves, and each other!"

"From Hawaii, AHOHA!" Melina exclaimed, closing the show.

"A RAT MONKEY, do you believe that?" Candice interrupted. "I swear to God, somebody better find John's whereabouts before-"

Melina shoved her aside. "Good BYE!" she finished.


	35. Episode 25: The Race to Hawaii

Total WWE, World Tour: The Fast and the Furious - Hawaii Drift

Episode #25

"Aloha, parasites! The Codebreaker here, Chris Jericho with the second to last episode of TWWT coming up next. Yeah, it's sad, I know, but last time, we headed back to Alberta, Canada, where the final 4 did some digging and dinosaur building! It was Jeff's birthday, for one thing, and the guy seemed like he was on top of the world. He won the best dinosaur challenge, won the advantage for the second challenge, and Eve even helped him WIN the second challenge and the invincibility! In other news, Lita and Eve were at it again, while Lita and Edge had a few non-relationship issues, that were solved by a song. Well, not really. At the end, Eve, Lita, and Edge each got one vote, but before the deciding vote could be cast, our birthday boy decided to BLOW UP MY PLANE! So, now, we're without a plane, but do you think THAT'S gonna stop us from determining the winner of the million dollar check? I think not! So, out of our three remaining contestants, who has what it takes to win the cash? Find out next on Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

Everyone was still in Drumheller, while Jericho was sobbing over what last transpired...

"Oh, why? Why does this have to happen to me? I-I don't deserve any of this-ANY OF IT!" he screamed, going through the last of the remains of the plane. "Why me?"

"So...when do we get to go anywhere?" asked Edge. "I'm starving and I'm up for some Arby's."

He glared at him. "If I have to suffer, then you will ALL suffer with me!" he replied. "If I don't eat, then NOBODY EATS!"

"Settle down, Jerko." he replied. "You need to take a hot bath or something. Why don't you use those comfy little bath beads, you know, they got tons of scents, springtime fresh, mountain rain-"

"SHUT UP!" he snapped. "What am I gonna do now?"

Then, a still mangled Jeff tossed some plane pieces off of him and stood up. "If anyone still cares, the explosion didn't kill me."

Eve and Lita rushed to help him up.

"Eve, get lost, I can handle it!" cried Lita.

"Don't tell me what to do, goth!" Eve snapped.

"Girls! I appreciate both your help, so just help me outta this thing." he said while they got him out.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Lita: "Wow, this thing seems way more spacey now that it's destroyed. Anyways, who the hell does that Eve think she is for getting her hands on my best friend? I just feel like strangling her with those damned nunchucks!"

-Back outside-

* * *

Then, Big Show pulled out a huge box before prying it open to reveal...

"Special delivery." he announced.

"Oh, can it be?" Jericho cried happily. "Open it! Open it, open it, open it, open it!"

"ALL RIGHT!" he shouted. "Jeez." he said, when a small jet was revealed to be inside.

"HALLELUJAH!" he cheered happily. "We're outta here!"

"Awesome, you got us a jet?" asked Eve. "Now, we'll get to our next destination in no time!"

"Uh, no. This is only for Show and I." he replied.

"WHAT ABOUT US?" Edge complained.

"Yeah, you worms are on your own. As a matter of fact, we can make this another challenge! Yeah! A road race to see who makes it to our next destination first!" he said, brightening up.

"Where IS our next destination, exactly?" asked Lita.

"Well, we've saved the best for last, in HAWAII!" he exclaimed.

"AAH!" cried Eve.

"HULA!" cheered Edge.

"Sweet!" cheered Lita.

"...Ow." groaned Jeff.

"So, that's what you're gonna do today. Use whatever little brains you people have left to get yourselves to Hawaii, and uh, these GPS's." he continued, tossing three of them to Edge, Eve, and Lita, while he hopped in the plane.

"So, what am I supposed to do here while everyone's off?" asked Jeff.

"YOU! You just shut up!...Birthday boy." Jericho snapped, glaring at him once he and Show took off in the plane. It almost didn't fly due to Show's weight, but soon began flying away.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Well, screw him! I am the victim here! I was caught in an explosion, I may have third degree burns in places I didn't even know I had! *growls* And those places are _everywhere_...ow. Maybe Hawaii will ease my pain."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Damn it, Show, lay off on the damned Twinkies, will ya?" Jericho demanded.

"Don't tell me how to live my life, you shmuck!" he cried back.

"Did you just call me a shmuck?" he demanded back.

"Well, I guess I'll see you losers in the dust." announced Edge. "And you, Lita. Try to stay in one piece, snookums." he said, holding her chin up.

She smirked and smacked his hand away. "You try not to get yourself kidnapped by Mexican Space Lords, you annoying perv." she replied.

"Oh, Mexican Space Lords! Good one." he chuckled before a plane piece flew and bonked his head. "OWIE!"

"Aww, you lovebirds oughta travel together for your honeymoon." Eve smirked.

"Shut up! We're NOT lovebirds, first of all, and second, shouldn't you focus on losing the next challenge?" she asked back.

"Tee hee. Hey, Jeff, you want to travel with me? I'll be happy to take you to Hawaii." she told him.

"I-" he began.

"NO! Jeff, ignore her, she's just trying to get me angry by stealing you away, but it ain't happening. You can travel with me." Lita replied, tugging on his arm.

Eve grabbed onto his other arm. "Jeff's MY friend!" she argued, tugging it.

"Jeff's my BEST friend!" Lita argued, tugging him back.

"People, people!" he cried.

"MINE!" argued Eve.

"MINE!" argued Lita.

"MINE!" she argued back.

"MINE!" she argued in retaliation.

"PEOPLE, LET ME GO, DAMN IT!" he shouted.

They were silent.

"Sorry. Now you're both my friends, and there's only one way to settle this. Heads or tails." he said, taking out a coin and flipping it up. "Call it."

"Heads!" exclaimed Eve.

"Tails!" replied Lita.

The coin landed on Tails.

"YES!" Lita cheered.

"Sorry, Eve." Jeff said sincerely.

"It's not your fault, Jeff. I'll just have to beat Lita on my own. I'm cool with that." she replied, twirling her nunchucks towards her. "Remember, I have my secret weapons."

Lita glared at her and slapped the nunchucks away.

Eve scoffed and then sped off on her own direction. "HMPH!" she cried.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "Oh, no she di-in't!"

-Back outside-

* * *

After that, Lita and Jeff headed into the now-demolished Playa's Lounge of the plane to search for use of transportation...

"Whoa, this place is totaled." Lita announced.

"And it's all my fault." Jeff said sadly. "I don't give a crap if Jericho's mad, but I was the one who caused all this."

"Dude, don't beat yourself up about it, it was an accident, right?" she asked.

"A freak accident that almost got us all killed." he finished. "And if it wasn't my birthday, none of this would've happened."

"Jeff, stop it. We're all happy that you were born, now help me look for something that we can use to get us outta here." she said, digging through the rubble. "Hmm...floatie, no. Bike...*wheel falls off*...no."

"How about we follow our roots and go airborne? Hot air balloon, maybe?" he asked.

She smiled and gave him a hug. "Jeff, you're a genius!" she exclaimed.

"Cool." he smiled.

Meanwhile, Edge was searching on his own and was chatting with Eve on his walkie talkie.

"...So then the guy says, 'That's my finger, not my tail!' " he exclaimed.

_"Edge, I don't care about your dumb jokes! Leave me alone so I can think!" _she cried on the other end.

"Everyone loves my jokes! I got em outta the Ripley's Believe it Or Not Jokebook that I found at a 49 cent store!" he exclaimed.

_"49 cent-Edge, you're not funny, leave me alone, and don't call me again!" _she snapped.

"Jeez, fine! I'll beat her to Hawaii, anyway." he replied, sticking out his thumb for someone to drive him there.

An 18 wheeler stopped by him. "Need a ride?" asked the trucker.

"Kinda do." he replied.

"Eh, I got a little time on my hands. Hop in." he said.

"WOOHOO!" he cried, hopping in while the truck took off.

"So, where you off to?" the trucker asked.

"Hawaii. I'm in the middle of a contest for a million bucks and I want to win really really badly, so can you move your ass a little more?" asked Edge.

"What's the rush, spend a little time with ol' Bob. We can get to know one another a bit more." he said with a wink.

Edge looked scared, opened the door, and quickly scurried out. "Creepy pedophile." he muttered, standing back on the side of the street. Then, a hippie van caught him.

"Hey, man, need a ride?" asked a guy with long hair and a beard, with a bunch of people inside.

"Far out, man." Edge smiled, climbing in. "Ooh, what are you guys smoking?"

"Herbs." replied a guy. "Where you headed?"

"Hawaii. I'm in the middle of a contest to win a million bucks and I intend to beat my ex girlfriend, an annoying princess, and a Rainbow Brite who blew up our plane." he explained.

"You beat your ex-girlfriend?" demanded a woman. "That's unforgivable, dude!"

"Not in THAT way!" he cried. "I am in a contest, I mean I am going to DEFEAT HER!"

Then, there was a lot of arguing, the van stopped, and Edge was tossed out. "UH! FINE! WHO NEEDS YA?" he demanded, on the ground. "This is why I hate people."

Next, he saw a nearby truck load up some caged animals. "Hmm...methinks I better take a little joyride with the wildlife." he said with a smile.

Meanwhile, Eve was on her own, still searching for a mode of transportation...

"Gosh, is Edge the most annoying human being on Earth or what?" she asked herself, before finding herself on some tracks. "What the-and WHY are there train tracks in the middle of nowhere? Wait, train tracks. I can use a train to get there! WOO HOO! Edge, Lita, you two are officially screwed." she smiled.

Back on the road, Edge was secretly hiding in the truck with all the animals...

"Hahaha! Eve, Lita, my sweet, you two are officially screwed. My animal friends and I, The Ultimate Opportunist, will be successful yet again, and just you try and stop me." he smiled evilly.

Then, a bear spanked him from behind.

"VIOLATION!" he cried, whipping around to find the bear trying to kiss him. "EW!" he cried, huddling inside a box. "This isn't Animal Planet!"

Meanwhile, up in the air, Jericho and Show were tracing the contestants' progress. "Well, damn, these guys are doing pretty good." he said. "Eve and Edge look pretty good, but Lita's at a standstill."

"Jericho, I'm tired of working for you." announced Show.

"Yeah, yeah, quiet." Jericho muttered.

"See, you don't listen to me, you make me do all the work, and you don't even acknowledge me for it! All those times I slaved over a hot stove for you and those guys! At least THEY show some kinda appreciation, but YOU! I don't even ever hear a thank you anymore!" he went on.

Jericho looked at him. "You say something?" he asked.

"I hate you." he muttered.

Meanwhile, Lita and Jeff were still trying to set up their balloon...

"Damn it, the others are probably miles ahead of us." Lita said, trying to attach some pieces together.

"Hey, you're the extreme chick. You'll totally make a comeback." replied Jeff.

She smiled. "Thanks, dude." she replied. "I hope that Eve falls in a ditch somewhere."

He shook his head. "What about Edge?" he asked.

"What about him?"

"You never wished anything bad on him. What's up with that?" he continued.

"Well, uh, he's Edge! He's a walking disaster, so's I don't need to wish bad luck on him." she replied.

"Sounds pretty generous of you. It's weird, ever since yesterday, you and Edge have been getting...closer or something." he replied, holding up the balloon while she attached the burner. "Tell me what's up?"

"Nothing's changed between Edge and I. Yesterday, ok, I realized that he wasn't as bad as I thought he was, but he's still an annoying moron who'll never amount to anything." she replied, not realizing that she was blowing up the balloon and the whole thing started rising up.

"Uh, Lita?" he asked, seeing what was going on.

"Oh, crap! C'mon!" she cried while they both hung on and climbed inside just in time for it to leave the ground. "Hey, we're finally going somewhere!"

"Great work!" Jeff replied, high fiving her.

"Yeah! Edge, Eve, you guys are totally screwed." she announced with a smile, while they flew into the air.

Back on the train...

"Now, I just gotta hope this train'll be headed towards the coast of Mexico." Eve smiled, then seeing an old man sitting in one of the seats. "Hello, sir. Mind if I sit here?"

He looked at her. "Melba?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"I'm MORRIE!" he cried loudly.

"Oh, hello, Morrie." she replied. "Who's Melba?"

"My tongue has FLEAS!" he shouted.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry." she said, a bit startled. "So, uh-"

"My son has gonorrhea! I'M HUNGRY!" he shouted.

Now, she was scared. "Ok, I'll just take a nice seat over here." she said, snooping away to another seat.

When she did, a strange looking little girl decided to be a creeper and smashed a substance on her cheek. "Oh! Excuse me, but who are you and what the heck did you just put on my face?" she demanded, wiping it off.

"Cupcake." she replied.

"Mookie, come and pop Gramps's back moles!" cried the old man.

"Oh, God, get me off this thing." she muttered miserably.

Then, Mookie noisily chomped on something two inches from her face.

"So, uh, whatcha doing?" Eve asked shakily.

"Eatin yogurt." she replied.

"Well, uh, good for you." she replied.

"Melba, why'd you graze me with a meatloaf?" asked Morrie.

"Look, my name is Eve. EVE, not Melba!" she cried.

"I'M HUNGRY!" he cried. "I was grazed by my meatloaf! I'm as ignorant as a stump! I don't have any friends!"

Eve was reeling inside, while the conductor said, _"Attention, passengers, this train will be making stops and our last destination will be on the sunny Mexico coast. Have a nice ride."_

"Yes." she cheered silently.

"MA-HAA!" Mookie cried out of nowhere.

"I hate this." Eve cried quietly.

Meanwhile, the truck that was carrying Edge and the animals was dumping them into a cargo train...

"AAH!" Edge cried, bursting out of the box. "Hey-I survived. I SURVIVED THE APOCOLYPSE! WOOHOO!"

Then, he looked around to find himself in a totally different place. "Where the hell am I?"

*GROWL*

"Oh, crap, I bet something in here wants to snack on my insides. Hold on, hold on." he said, approaching another box, where he found a familiar face. "Oh God, not you again. Wait, maybe your creepy demeanor and horrific disposition might be of some use for me. Damn, I'm smart." he said with a smirk. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *SCRATCH!*-OW!"

Out in the air, Jeff and Lita were trying to keep control of the balloon...

"Jeff, maybe you can stop pulling the thing now, we're up high enough." announced Lita.

"Sorry, but it's fun being way up here!" he exclaimed. "Besides, I've been too distracted with the proposal to even think about anything else right now."

"Really? You know what you're gonna say to Maria?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think I came up with something perfect. Now, all there is to do is to find a promise ring and everything'll be all set." he said with a smile. "I just wonder where she is right now."

"I dunno. I wonder where all the others are. Well, wherever, I'm sure they're doing one hell of a lot better than we are." she replied.

Then, they looked ahead to find themselves headed towards Jericho and Show's jet copter.

"Uh, Lita?" he asked nervously. "Maybe we should panic now."

Show and Jericho saw them headed straight towards them and screamed. "Oh, my God, PARASITE ATTACK!" he screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Jeff and Lita screamed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Show and Jericho screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the guys cried, dodging their copter just in time to miss the balloon.

"Damn, that was close." Lita said with a sigh.

"Let me see that walkie talkie." said Jeff. "Yo, Jericho, why don't you watch where you're (BLEEP)ing going, damn it!"

Jericho took his walkie talkie and replied, "Hey, you watch your mouth, WORM! I don't need YOU of all people telling me my business! So...BE QUIET!"

Then, on their radio, a guy said, _"Special news report from CB101 - If you are traveling by air, take caution for a passing storm that may be dangerous for all passengers traveling by plane or hot air balloon."_

Then, Jericho and Show looked at each other and grinned evilly. "Hahahaha..." they chuckled mischievously. "Those worms are so screwed."

Back on the train...

"Finally, away from Morrie, that crazy little brat, and now it's just Me, Myself, and I on a nice relaxing trip to Hawaii." Eve sighed happily. "Oh, how I love life."

When she rested her eyes, a rabid creature suddenly leaped on her!

"What the-" she opened her eyes to see Zombie Cena trying to attack! "AAH!" she screamed, her eyes bugging out and she leaped over to the next seat. "How did you get here?" she demanded.

"Good job, Cena. You are good for something." Edge announced with a smirk.

"Edge! How the hell did you find this train?" she demanded angrily, avoiding Zombie Cena.

"I have special ways about me of which you do not need to know." he replied. "I sent Cena here to attack you and so that I could get a free ride to Hawaii."

"Fat chance. CENA, I CHOOSE YOU!" Eve cried, throwing the zombie back at Edge. "HEY! DON'T ATTACK ME, I AM YOUR LEADER!" when he got him off, he found that Eve was missing. "Princess, you ain't escaping the wrath of the EDGEMEISTER!" he cried, chasing after her.

Up in the air...

"Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?" Jeff and Lita played a hand clapping game while they continued flying. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-"

Then, they flew into a barrage of storm clouds, with thunder and lightning.

"This...isn't gonna go well for us, huh?" concluded Lita.

"No, I believe not." agreed Jeff.

After that, a very strong wind appeared, sending the two flying all over the place. "WHOA!" they screamed.

"Aw, come on, I want to live long enough to torment Eve one more time!" Lita cried.

"I'm planning to propose to someone soon, I don't want to be one of those bodies that ends up being found in the Gulf of Mexico!" cried Jeff.

Back on the train...

Eve was escaping on the roof, while Edge chased her. "YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!" he shouted on the rapidly moving train.

"Edge, I'm not afraid of you!" Eve shouted back, standing on the last car.

"Well, you don't have to be!" he replied, taking off his belt.

"Wait, what are you doing?" she asked, concerned.

"Calm down, I'm not gonna spank you with it-unless you want me to." he said.

"NO!" she shouted.

"Thought so. I was just gonna make a few little adjustments." he replied, throwing the belt around one of the bolts connecting the cars together, hoping to separate her car. Before anything else could happen, though, it started raining heavily.

"NOOO!" Eve cried, speeding back, before slipping down. "Now, I'm scared."

"My pants are slipping off." announced Edge.

"Then get your damned belt back!" she cried.

It flew away.

"There's your answer." he concluded.

Up in the air...

"HELP!" Lita and Jeff screamed, holding onto one another.

There, Edge's belt flew up and slapped him across the face. "OW!"

"What was THAT?" she demanded.

"I just got spanked by Edge's belt." Jeff said meekly.

"We gotta do something to stabilize this basket!" cried Lita.

"I'll pull the thingy some more!" Jeff replied, doing just that.

A lightning bolt nearly struck them.

"OH, SCREW THIS, WE'RE GONNA DIE!" he finished.

Back on the train...

The belt was gone, but the train cars were able to separate, anyway. "HAHA! SUCCESS!" Edge cried. "Oh, Eve, it's been nice knowing you, huh? That's exactly what you get for not laughing at my jokes, and all the times you-OOF!" he cried once Eve dropkicked him.

"Sorry, Edge, those who talk too much, lose too much. I made it up myself, ha HA!" Eve laughed, climbing onto another car.

"I WILL NOT GET BEAT BY A PRINCESS!" Edge cried, climbing up with her. "Especially a muchacha like you!"

Once they were on the same car...

*DING DING!*

"NOW?" the two demanded.

"NOW?" Jeff and Lita demanded.

"There isn't a better time to sing a song than during a torrential downpour that may eventually kill you! Sing worms, SING BEFORE YOU DIE!" Jericho cried to both teams on his walkie talkie from the copter jet.

After that, the song 'All These Things That I've Done' by The Killers came on, while Eve and Edge were fighting to stay on the train, and Jeff and Lita were tossed and turned around on the swinging hot air balloon, trying to avoid falling out.

Eve: "When there's nowhere else to run, is there room for one more son...one more son. If you can hold on, if you can hold on. Hold on..."

Edge: "I wanna stand up, I wanna let go, you know, you know?"

Eve: "No, you don't, you don't, I wanna shine on, in the hearts of men,"

Edge: "I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand!"

Eve: "Another head aches, another heart breaks, I am so much older than I can take,"

Edge: "And my affection, well it comes and goes, I need direction to perfection, no no no no,"

All: "Help me out, yeah, you know you gotta help me out, yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner, you know you got to help me out..."

Lita: "And where there's nowhere else to run, is there room for one more son,"

Jeff: "These changes, ain't changing me, the cold-hearted boy I used to be..."

All: "Yeah, you know you gotta help me out, yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner, you know you got to help me out, you're gonna bring yourself down, yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down, yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down."

Jeff: "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..."

Lita: "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..."

Edge: "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..."

Eve: "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..."

(repeat)

All: "Yeah, you know you got to help me out, yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner, you know you gotta help me out, yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down, you're gonna bring yourself down, yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner, yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down..."

Edge (who was thrown off of the train and was now glaring towards Eve from the tracks): "Over and in, last call for sin,"

Eve: "While everyone's lost, the battle is won,"

Jeff: "With all these things that I've done."

Lita: "All these things that I've done."

Eve: "If you can hold on, if you can hold on..."

After the song ended, Jericho announced, "Well, well, well, I knew those parasites would fail soon enough. Only Eve's taking the right path to Hawaii. THOSE OTHER WORMS ARE DONE FOR! HA!"

Show looked at him. "You really need to calm down. Want a Cinnabun?" he asked.

"CINNABUN?" I'm having a great time and you're offering me a CINNABUN?" he demanded.

"Yeah?"

"Okay!" he cried happily.

Meanwhile, Eve happily leaped back inside the train. "Whoo! That was satisfying. Oh, thank God, no crazy old men around. The coast is clear." she smiled.

"Grr...!" cried a voice.

"Oh, damn, damn, DAMN!" Eve cried, nervously turning around to find Zombie Cena again!

"You can't see me, Eve!" he cried in a hoarse voice.

"AAH! John, I don't know you anymore!" she cried, speeding away.

Outside, Edge wasn't finished yet, as he was riding a horse while he wore a black sheet over his face and body, with the eyes cut out. "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME, EVE! EDGE WILL LIVE! Brethren, FOLLOW YOUR LEADER!" he cried, while a bunch of other horses followed him. "SHE WILL RUE THIS DAY!"

Meanwhile, up in the air...

"...AAAHHH!" Jeff and Lita cried once their balloon ran into a tree and sent the two twirling down, only hanging by the rope.

"Whoa, that was insane." Jeff announced.

"Yeah, but we gotta find a way to get this thing back up and running before it's too late!" exclaimed Lita.

Before they did, though, the electrical pole they were attached to electrocuted the two, setting their balloon on fire. "OH, MY GOD!" they cried, fleeing the balloon.

"Well, that was unfortunate." he concluded.

"No!" cried Lita. "We gotta get this thing to work!"

"It's too late." he replied, seeing that the balloon already disintegrated. "Sorry, Lita."

She sighed. "It's not your fault." she said sadly. "I was this close to winning and I failed. There's no way we'll make it back in the race, and Edge and Eve are just gonna rub it in my face at the end."

"Lita." Jeff said, concerned.

"I might as well just quit this thing and go back home." she replied.

"Hey, listen to me." he said, sitting down beside her. "I've known you for years, and I've never known you to be a quitter!"

"Jeff-" she began.

"You are a strong person, Lita. You can't just give up this easily. Especially right now, while you're so close to the end." he continued seriously. "And trust me, as long as I'm still here, I'm gonna help you make it back in the game, and y'know, hopefully win the challenge. So, whaddya say? You back in?" he asked with a smile.

She smiled back. "Well, after that speech, I can't say no." she replied, high fiving him. "So, what are we gonna do?"

Jeff looked towards a nearby stand and thought up an idea. "Hmm..."

Back in the train...

"Uh, John? You do remember that we're still friends, right?" asked Eve. "I-I'm still your friend!"

He growled and continued approaching her while she backed away.

"And don't you remember all our friends, and your GIRLFRIEND! Remember Candice?" she asked.

He glared at her.

"Don't kill me?" she asked.

He pounced towards her.

"AAH!" she shrieked, speeding into the next car.

Meanwhile...

"Hold on, I got a plan." Jeff said, heading to the stand. "Uh, excuse me, sir, how much are those explosives you're selling?"

"Well, since they're highly illegal and I smuggled them here from Cuba..." the cashier began.

Jeff arched an eyebrow in question.

"They're pretty steep. $500 bucks for one, $1,500 for a pack of 3." he continued.

"Ok, I don't have that kinda money on me at the moment. Come on, we need these explosives to build up something that'll get us back in the air. See, my friend Lita over there's in the middle of a competition for a million bucks, and we gotta find a way back in the competition or else we're done for." he explained.

"Wait, THE Lita? Which means that you're Jeff Hardy!" the cashier exclaimed happily.

"You just noticed that?" he asked dully.

"Dude, I'm like, you guys's biggest fan! I LOVED Team X-treme, good times, good times!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah." he chuckled along. "So, can you just be a good Samaritan and help us out, please?"

"Oh, no prob, man! Wait, can I have your autographs, first?" he asked.

"Sure, anything for a fan. Hold on." Jeff replied, speeding back to Lita for her autograph before signing his, and then handed it to the cashier.

"Whooooaaa..." he cried, stunned. "This is the greatest moment of my life! Oh! Uh, here, take all the explosives that you need!"

"Thanks, dude, I appreciate it." he replied, carrying a crate of explosives.

"I LOVE YOU GUYS!" he called back.

Back on the plane...

"Ok, I was trying to be nice, but if you want a war, you'll GET ONE!" Eve cried, tossing countless food objects at Zombie Cena, while he tossed stuff back at her. She retaliated by tossing food, a cart, and even a chair at him, while he dodged them all and threw a salad back at her. "Oh, I KNOW you ain't messing with Eve like that! Bowling Ball, I CHOOSE YOU!" she cried. "USE FORCE ATTACK!"

Cena dodged the ball.

"Damn." she concluded.

After that, he tossed a chair back at her..."Chair, I CHOOSE YOU! USE ENCLOSURE!" he hissed in a raspy voice.

"OW!" she cried while the chair toppled her over.

Back outside, Lita was sadly sitting down, while Jeff dropped the box in front of her. "Lita, I found a solution for our dilemma." he said with a smile.

She looked at the explosives. "Jeff, you didn't have to go through all this for me." she replied with a light smile.

"I wanted to. You're one of my best friends in the world and I'll do what I can to get you to Hawaii." he replied.

"You rule, dude." she smiled fully, hugging him.

"Hey, so do you. Now, C'mon, you gonna help me set up this thing or what?" he asked.

"Hells yeah!" she agreed.

Back near the train, Edge and his horse brigade were charging through. "ONWARD, BRETHEREN!" he commanded, the sheet still covering him. "WE SHAN'T NOT LET THE CANADIAN SPIRIT DOWN!"

"OW!" Eve shrieked, being thrown out of the train window and landing on another horse. "EDGE! Is that you under there?"

"I'm keeping my identity a secret!" he cried. "Listen, girlie, you will not defeat me, you hear? YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT THE RATED R SUPERSTAR!"

"Oh yeah, well, here comes the Eve of Destruction, BITCH!" she shouted back, racing her horse with his.

Meanwhile...

"Damn, Edge and Eve are really at it!" cried Jericho, looking at his GPS. Too bad about Lita and-"

"Chris, you might want to check out the fireworks." Show interrupted, seeing Lita and Jeff in a chair, tied to the explosives, while they were flying through the air.

"WHOOOO!" the two cheered, while the fireworks went off.

"Ooh!" the two cried in awe.

"Wow, these worms sure are desperate to get there. Good thing is, WE'VE GOT A RACE ON OUR HANDS, WOO!" Jericho cheered. "Make me proud, hypocrites."

"Clam?" asked Show.

"Yum!" he exclaimed.

"WOOOO! THIS IS AWESOME!" Lita cheered.

"THIS is what Team X-treme's all about!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Hey, I see the island and some water! I think we're here, Jeff!" she cried.

"Awesome! Now let's try not to let ourselves get killed during the landing! WHOOOOO!" he cheered, while the two leaned back and headed down to their destination.

On the shores, Edge and Eve were still head to head in the race...

"I will NOT get beaten by a man!" Eve cried.

"I will NOT get beaten by a woman!" Edge cried back.

"I HATE YOU!" Eve cried.

"I HATE YOU MORE!" Edge cried.

"YOU SNORE LIKE A PIG!" she argued.

"I KNOW YOU TRIED TO SUFFOCATE ME!" he argued.

The two were so into arguing with one another that they didn't notice the finish line up ahead. "Yo, worms, WORMS, STOP, GODDAMN IT!" Jericho shouted.

"Huh?" asked Eve.

"Huh?" asked Edge.

"AAAAH!" Jericho screamed, bracing for impact.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Eve and Edge screamed, furiously trying to stop their horses. They made a short stop, sending the two bucking off, flying through the air, and landing by the pier...on top of each other.

Seeing Eve on top of him, Edge ripped off the cape and said, "Ooh, baby."

"UGH!" she scoffed, quickly getting off of him.

"Well, thank you for not running me over." Jericho announced, joining them. "Now, Hawaii's right on the other side of here. You have to race to that getaway boat over there and-"

"WHOA...!" Jeff and Lita screamed, landing and spinning around and around and around before flying all the way across and landing in the boat. After they gained their composure..."YES!" the two cheered happily, high fiving.

"We're in the clear!" she exclaimed.

"Yep. I told you I'd get us here. Now let's get the hell over there before the others catch up!" Jeff exclaimed while they drove the boat away.

"And Jeff and Lita come in from nowhere and takes the lead! THIS IS CRAZY!" Jericho cried excitedly. "I think I'm so excited right now, I'm gonna piss my pants."

"NO!" Eve and Edge cried angrily, leaping in the two other boats.

After that, the race was on again, and the three boats sped off side by side by side and they all tried to knock the others out.

"Lita, I thought I've seen the last of you!" Eve screamed. "You will not win this, you hear me? NEITHER OF YOU WILL WIN THIS!"

"SCREW YOU, BITCH!" Lita cried, throwing a fish towards her.

"AGH! You're gonna PAY!" she cried, forcefully ramming her boat.

"STOP IT!" Lita cried, while Jeff steered the boat in order for it to ram hers back.

"No fair, Lita has extra help! Hardy, I'ma get rid of you!" Edge cried, holding up a baseball bat.

"Oh, a weapon, huh? Lita, take over for a sec." he replied, taking out another bat. "I have a weapon of my own! Let's DUEL!"

The two tried to knock one another out with the bats, while Lita and Eve were still face to face.

"FACE MY NUNCHUCK FURY!" Eve screamed, using one hand to steer and another one to swing her nunchucks towards her.

Lita dodged the shots, snatched the nunchucks, and tossed them out in the river.

"NO!" Eve screamed.

"Empty handed now, huh, chica?" Lita asked.

After Jeff and Edge were still in the middle of bonking one another with the bats, Lita said, "Jeff, take over. I want to face him."

After he did, Edge said with a smirk, "Well, well, well, Lita. Nice seeing you again, I missed you...just in time for you to lose!"

"Fat flipping chance, dude, FAT FLIPPING CHANCE!" she cried back with a smirk.

"Whoa. Lita, hold on." Jeff said, seeing a bomb in their path.

A bird was on it first, and it exploded right before they could approach it. "Whew." they sighed in relief.

"What are YOU guys all relaxed about? I AM THE ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST, AND I WILL-" Edge demanded, looking back before seeing another bomb in his path.

*BOOM!* He and his boat flew up in the air. "CURSES...!" he cried.

"I'M WINNING, I'M WINNING!" Eve cried excitedly, approaching the island and seeing all the other contestants there.

There, everyone was eagerly seeing who'd win...

"EVE! COME ON, EVE!" Mickie, Evan, Kelly, Punk, Hunter, and Shawn all cheered.

"WIN, EVE, I BET HUNTER $25 BUCKS THAT YOU'D WIN!" cried Shawn.

"$25? I thought it was only $15!" he argued.

"EDGE, COME ON, MAN!" Christian cheered. "WHERE ARE YA?"

"Well, I knew he'd crash first." Randy said dully.

"COME ON, LITA!" Maria and Matt cried.

"Yeah, what they said." Dave added.

"Wait, is...Jeff there, too?" Maria asked with hope. "Oh, my God!"

Back in the race, Eve was still in the lead, but right at the wrong time, her boat slowed down. "Goddamn it! Now's the WORST possible time for me to run outta fuel! I need an alternative, and now!"

Meanwhile, Lita and Jeff were catching up. "WHAT'S WRONG, CHICA? YOU QUIT?" she asked.

"NEVER!" she screamed back. "I'll be damned if I lose to you, goth." Then, she whipped out a paddle and furiously made her way to the island, where she won! "YESSSSS!" she cheered.

"WHOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Team Eve.

Shawn smiled. "Pay up, dude! And no being cheap, either." he replied.

He grumbled and gave him $25.

"You guys!" Eve cheered while her friends gave her hugs.

Right after that, Lita and Jeff arrived second. "WHOO HOO!" they cheered. "Hey, we might not've been first, but that was one hell of a race!" exclaimed Lita. "And Jeff, thank you so much for helping me pull through. I'd be nowhere without your support, man."

He smiled. "It was no trouble." he replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulder in a hug, before the hidden bomb under their boat set off, sending them flying through the air. "AAAAH!..."

...And those two, and Edge all landed on the beach at the same time. "OOF!"

"Oh, lordy." Edge said woozily. "Did I win?"

Jeff got up and was shocked to finally see Maria a few feet away. "Ria?"

"What are you waiting for, dude? Go and get her!" exclaimed Lita.

"I will! Maria!" he cried, running to her.

Tears filled her eyes. "Jeff!" she cried, running back to him, before the lovers shared an embrace. "Enigma, you're ok!"

He gazed at her. "I-I love you." was all he could say.

"I love you, too." she smiled before they shared a passionate kiss.

"OK, that wraps up another intriguing episode of As The World Turns, now back to me! Well, friends, that looked like a tie for second place if you ask me, since Eve won." announced Jericho.

"A TIE?" Lita and Edge demanded. "You're going down."

"So, how do we determine who gets to face me?" Eve asked with a smile.

"Oh, you'll find out...IN THE NEXT EPISODE!" Jericho cried happily.

"AWWW!" everyone cried.

"Yeah. So, who will get to face Eve to reach the final competition, and most importantly, who will win the $1,000,000 check? Find out next week on the series finale of Total WWE, World Tour! Jericho...OUT!"


	36. Episode 26: Hawaii: The Series Finale

Total WWE, World Tour: Hawaii Two-6

Episode #26

"Well, friends, we've reached the end of a long, long journey here on the Total WWE Saga...but hey, where better to end it all in beautiful Hawaii? This is the Codebreaker, the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, Y2J, Chris Jericho with the heart pounding, adrenaline driven, series finale of TWWT coming up next! Last week, after Rainbow Brite blew up my plane, the contestants were forced to travel to Hawaii, using any mode of transportation that they could. Edge missed out on a few rides with some truckers, before finding his place in a truck full of animals, BEFORE being dropped in ANOTHER train, where he met up with Zombie Cena yet again. Eve easily found a train, but had some minor difficulties when dealing with some unruly passengers. Lita and Jeff worked together to create a hot air balloon, which lasted for most of the trip, until it-and they-crashed down. Lita lost all hope, until her best buddy Jeff came up with a good solution using some smuggled explosives. Eve was harassed by Zombie Cena, she and Edge faced off on train, off train, by horse, and it was an all out race to the finish! Jeff and Lita soared through the sky and joined the other two on the island, before an all out boat race to the finish began! After lots of sabotaging, Eve arrived to the island first, but Lita and Edge both arrived second, which would result in a tiebreaker. This week, a winner will be determined, and after today, after three long years, these worms will be outta my hair FOREVER! So, who will win that coveted million dollar check? Eve, Lita, or Edge? Find out next on the series finale of Total...WWE…World…Tour!"

* * *

Everyone was still on the shores of Hawaii, awaiting their tiebreaker challenge...

"Friends, worms, and parasites, alike, we've reached the last episode of the show, and I'M GONNA BE FREE!" Jericho cried happily.

"Believe us, dude, we want this day to be over with so's that we can shove you in the river in a celebratory fashion, and celebrate with a nice bonfire party." replied Punk.

"You people are NOT gonna shove me in any river, believe me, I fell for it the last few times, but you won't catch me this time!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, it's time for Edge and Lita to compete head to head in a tiebreaker challenge, in order to see who gets to face Eve in the last challenge."

"Well, well, Lita, my sweet, we must part ways again so's that I can beat your-" Edge began with a smirk.

"Stop with the sappy act, dude. I want to kick your ass just as much as you want to kick mine. Only difference is-I'll win." she replied slyly.

"Ooh, sassy. I like it!" he replied.

"Edge and Lita sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-" began Eve.

"SHUT UP, WHY DON'T YA?" the two snapped.

"Ooh, burn!" Randy smiled.

"Well!" she scoffed.

"Now, before we get to the fun, Edge and Lita dished out their thoughts on the finals in the local confessionals over here. Check it out." announced Jericho.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Edge: "Well, it took me three years, and I FINALLY made it to the finals, WOOHOO! See, like I said before, my only competition is two girls! One's a spoiled princess and the other's, well a feisty redhead that I could never resist with the fiery passion of my soul-anyhoo. I'd much rather face Lita in the finals than Eve, but hey, what goes, goes. Maybe Eve can be shoved in a river somewhere and THEN I'll get Lita to myself. Haha. HAHA! DAMN, I'm so cool. Oh, if Randy could just see me now.

_Randy: "Shut up, dude, I'm not, nor will I ever be jealous of you!" _

Edge: "Hey, Rand, GET OUTTA MY THINKING SPACE, IT'S MY TIME TO PROVE THAT THE RATED IN RATED RKO STANDS VICTORIOUS!"

Lita: "Well, truthfully, when I first began this competition, I thought I would be enemy #1, but I think I've made a few good friends here, kinda. Anyways, I'm kinda psyched to face Edge in the finals, it'll be fun, and once I win, that little bitch Eve will be all mine. We're finally gonna see who gets the last laugh in the end."

-Back outside-

* * *

"Team EVE!-WHOOO!" her team cheered.

"Wow, all you guys are supporting me? You guys rule!" Eve exclaimed, while Lita and Edge glared at her.

"I got $25 from Hunter because you won! I'm supporting you all the way!" exclaimed Shawn.

"It's just $25 bucks, settle down, Shawny." Hunter replied.

"Hey, where's MY cheering section?" asked Edge.

Michelle and Randy halfheartedly twirled their flags, Natalya gazed at Randy, and Christian cheered, "WHOOHOO!"

"That's it, huh?" he asked dully. "I hate the rest of you."

"Do I have a cheering section?" asked Lita.

"WHOO!-Lita!" Jeff and Maria cried, while Matt half smiled and waved his flag and Dave nonchalantly stood there and saluted to her.

"Well, at least I have some true friends." she replied.

"And your cheering sections over here are gonna play a huge role in whoever wins, too." explained Jericho.

"YES!" Eve cried, while the others looked bummed.

* * *

-Hidden Camera-

Eve: "I've got a bigger cheering section than BOTH Lita and Edge, and that just SHOWS that I'm the perfect choice to win! This is gonna be SUCH a fun day!"

-Back outside-

* * *

"SO, wormies, it's time for some tie breaking fun! Eve, since you were victorious in the last challenge, you have a choice. You can either choose the tiebreaker, or you can let either Lita or Edge choose instead. What'll it be?" he asked.

The two continued glaring at her.

"Like I'm gonna let the two graveyard pals choose!" she laughed.

"Did she just call us graveyard pals?" demanded Edge.

"That's what I heard." Lita replied.

"Ok, Eve, since you're choosing, please step in the lovely glass telephone booth right here. While you're in there, you'll choose what the tiebreaker challenge will be, starting-NOW!" he exclaimed, while various baseballs fell on top of her. "OW! Ow, STOP! BASEBALLS? REALLY?" she demanded.

"Hahahaha!" Lita and Edge laughed, knuckle punching one another.

A baseball flew out and bonked Evan on the head, before he fell unconscious and slumped on Mickie's shoulder.

"That's strange, John and I loaded golf balls in that thing." announced Melina.

"OW! Like golf balls would've been any better!" Eve snapped.

"Yeah, I loaded the baseballs, cause, they're big and round and painful, and they're perfectly capable of squishing unwanted vermin like you." Jericho smiled.

"Damn you, Jericho." Eve cried, before a baseball nearly landed in her throat. The, she began choking, desperately busting out of the case.

After that, she spat out the baseball, while it landed on the ground.

"Awesome! Morrison, will you please read what Eve has chosen?" asked Jericho.

"Oy." he said, shaking it off. "Ok, we have here a traditional Hawaiian fire match to the death!"

"Heh?" Lita and Edge cried, shocked.

A few minutes later, Eve was tied to a pole, while Edge and Lita wore grass skirts and coconut bras, while holding jousting sticks.

"Haha, EDGE, YOU SEXY BEAST!" Punk laughed loudly.

"SHUT UP! YOU WISH YOU COULD BE IN MY POSITION!" Edge cried back.

"No, I don't." he replied quietly.

"That is an interesting look for you, dude." Lita joked.

"You don't look so bad yourself, snookums." he joked with a smirk.

"Aww, get a room." Eve said, rolling her eyes.

"Don't you just want to shove her down a ditch somewhere?" asked Edge.

"That's been my dream ever since I got here." she agreed.

"Hmph!" she scoffed.

"Ok, parasites! First one to free Eve is the one who faces her for the big mil!" explained Jericho.

"Wait, I seriously hope this happens, but uh, if neither of us frees Eve, do Edge and I get to face each other instead and leave this bitch tied here?" asked Lita.

"YEAH!" agreed Edge.

"Screw both of ya!" Eve snapped.

"Well, maybe." Jericho replied. "Big Show, FIRE AHOY!"

He wore a Hawaiian towel and glared at Jericho before firing fire arrows towards the platform that they were standing on. "Chris, I'm sick of you." he announced. "I want to quit this job once and for all."

"Yeah, mmhmm, whatevs." he said, not listening. "Just fire the meat for the sharks."

He growled and fired some steaks and ribs towards the ocean, where sharks came up and devoured them.

"All right, worms, you're gonna want to avoid maybe getting burned, or falling in the deep blue sea, where Jaws and his cousins will munch on you. Ready..." cried Jericho.

Edge smirked at Lita.

"Set..."

Lita smirked back at him.

"MAMBO!" he finished.

After that, the two locked up and were trying to fight the other off, while their teams were cheering for their respective players.

"Come on, Lita!" cheered Jeff.

"Yeah, go below the belt! You can finish him off!" Maria cried.

"Use a good strategy!" cried Matt.

"What they said." agreed Dave.

"EDGE! Come on, man, we're rooting for ya!" cried Christian, before he looked back at his 'teammates'. "Ok, you guys are flipping pathetic."

"Look, I should've been here instead of him, so I'm just gonna shut up and not say anything." Randy replied.

"I love you, Randy." Nattie said quickly.

"HEY! Why isn't anyone cheering for ME?" demanded Eve.

Lita and Edge stopped, gave her the finger...

"OH!" she cried, offended.

...and continued trying to shove the other one off.

"Err...pretty strong there, I forgot about that." Edge announced, struggling, while she pushed him back. "Sexeh."

"Well, I intend on..err..finishing you off." Lita replied, while he pushed her back.

She swung towards him while he ducked, and he swung back while she leaped over it and almost fell back towards the fire. "AAH!"

"Snookums!" Edge cried, saving her just in time. "Almost lost ya there."

"Well, that was a non-idiotic moment for you." she smiled.

Eve growled. "Hey, naked chicks over there!" she called.

"WHERE? WHERE?" Edge cried, distracted.

Then, Lita took the chance to knock Edge in his place...

"OOF!" he cried before falling in the river. "Curses."

Then, he looked ahead to find a shark approaching him. "Look, you son of a bitch, I couldn't have lost, I-I CAN'T LOSE NOW! This isn't happening-And you will NOT eat me, understand, Jaws?"

After that, the shark pounced on him and ate him. "AAHH!"

"Oh, surprise, surprise, he lost. See, THIS is why he only has a 4 person cheering section." announced Michelle.

"EDGE! I'M COMING, MAN!" Christian cried, ignoring her and speeding into the water.

Back on the platform...

Lita glared at Eve. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" she demanded.

"Did what?" she smirked.

"Distracted Edge so that he'd lose." she replied.

"Hey, I couldn't let you two face off against each other! I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win." she replied. "Now untie me."

Lita looked at her before leaving. "HEY! Get your sorry self back here and UNTIE ME!" she screamed after her.

Back on the beach, Christian dragged the shark back up and began whacking it around, hoping to free Edge. "Let him go! Let my pal go, you blubbering...blubber..blubber...blubbering...JACKASS!" he cried before Edge slid out of its mouth.

"...Oh, criminy." he concluded.

"You all right, man?" he asked.

"I saw things I shouldn't have saw." he said innocently. "It's not fair, I deserved to win, ME, the Ultimate Opportunist! Don't you guys agree? It took 3 years and I get 3rd place! 3rd! After all that cheating and conniving that I did, after all that hard work, I get 3rd place! Aren't you guys gonna vouch for me?"

Everyone on the sidelines were silent and just glared at him.

"Well, SCREW all of ya! Except you, Christian, you're the best buddy a guy could wish for." he finished.

"Aww, I blush." he replied. "Now, let's get you to a shower, you have the stench of a rotting corpse in heat."

"What?" he demanded.

After that...

"All right worms, so, there we have it, it's Eve vs. Lita in the finals!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Huh." Edge grumbled.

"YES! There's finally gonna be a female winner!" cheered Kelly.

"I still never believed that this could ever happen." Punk replied.

"Are you still being a sexist jerk?" she demanded.

"No, that was the guy behind me." he replied.

"There's nobody behind you." she replied.

"Never mind, move on." he said.

"...Okay. Anyways, you two are gonna take part in possibly the most dangerous challenge this show's ever seen." he explained. "And it's gonna involve you guys, vs. the Volcano of Pure and Utter Hell."

They looked shocked.

"See, the ancient Hawaiians thought that it was traditional to throw one of their own inside of the volcano, like a sacrifice to their gods and all that stuff. And I'd gladly take volunteers over here who'd like to be tossed inside." he said, looking towards the sidelines.

"Take Randy." announced Hunter. "Hot lava, hothead, that could be his new home!"

"I will pretend I didn't hear that." he grumbled.

"Well, I can't use real people, I was lying. If I did, I'd be facing 30 to life in prison." he continued. "Instead, you two are gonna be building your own sacrifices, using those pineapples and wood over there, and build them to look like your opponent. Later, you'll race up the volcano and your goal is to toss your sacrifices inside in order to win this suitcase filled with the million dollars."

Then, Shawn clung onto the suitcase.

Jericho glared at him. "Let go, Michaels." he demanded.

"Aw, come on! I missed out on a chance at winning, I want to look at it!" he exclaimed.

"Let GO!" he snapped.

"Let me touch it." he replied.

"Will somebody get this parasite off of my suitcase?" he demanded.

"I'm on it. Shawn, let go. It's over." Hunter said, leading him away.

"NO! I WANNA SEE IT!" he cried. "PLEASE?"

"You blew it the last time, now sit down." he replied, carrying him over his shoulder.

"Now, then! To help you build your sacrifices, you two can choose three people to help you." he explained.

"Me, first." Eve cut in. "I choose of course, uh...Kelly!"

"Yes!" she cheered.

"Hmm...Christian." she continued.

"WOO!" he cheered.

"And...Edge." she said with an evil smile, glaring at Lita.

Lita gasped in shock, while Edge looked stunned as well. "I don't want to work for you." he muttered, while he joined Eve's team.

"Fine. I choose my best friends, Jeff, Maria, and...Matt." replied Lita.

"Me?" Matt asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah, if everything between us is cool again." she replied.

"Sure." he mustered up a half smile.

"Ok, now that everyone's settled, how about we make the work go faster with a little singing time?" Jericho asked.

*DING DING!*

"Who didn't see that coming?" Jeff asked sarcastically.

Then, the song 'Plowed' by Sponge came on, while they all raced to grab their supplies and went busy getting to work. The scene turned into a warped, cartoony kind or world…

Lita rose from a volcano and striked lava at Eve's helpers: "Will I wake up, is it a dream I made up, no I guess it's reality..."

Eve rose from another volcano and striked lava at Lita's helpers: "What will change us or will we mess up, our only chance to connect, with a dream..."

Lita: "Say a prayer for me!" Jeff/Maria/Matt: "(Say a prayer for me.)" Lita: "Say a prayer for me..."

Eve: "Say a prayer for me!" Edge/Christian/Kelly: "(Say a prayer for me.)" Eve: "I'm buried by the sound..."

Lita (crushes Eve's helpers with a fist): "Of a world of human wreckage..."

Eve (stomps on Lita's helpers): "In a world of human wreckage..."

Lita (squishes Eve's helpers with her hands): "In a world of human wreckage..."

Eve (attacks Lita with lava, while her helpers put some pieces together): "When I'm lost and I'm found and I can't touch the ground, I'm plowed into the sound..."

Lita (attacks Eve with lava, while her helpers put pieces together): "To see wide open with a head that's broken, hang a life on some tragedy..."

Eve (drops storm cloud on top of everyone): "Plow me under the ground, that covers the message that is the seed..."

Lita: "Say a prayer for me!" Jeff/Maria/Matt: "(Say a prayer for me.)" Lita: "Say a prayer for me..."

Eve: "Say a prayer for me!" Edge/Christian/Kelly:"(Say a prayer for me.)" Eve: "I'm buried by the sound..."

Lita (ties up Eve's helpers): "Of a world of human wreckage..."

Eve (turns Lita's helpers into stone): "In a world of human wreckage..."

Lita (sends Eve's helpers down a tornado): "In a world of human wreckage..."

Eve (faces Lita and attacks her with lava): "When I'm lost and I'm found and I can't touch the ground, I'm plowed into the sound..."

Lita (faces Eve and attacks back, before they both strike at the same time): "Will I wake up, is it a dream I made up, no I guess it's reality..."

After the song ended, Eve and her team were able to finish their sacrifice first.

"Check and mate!" Eve concluded.

Lita glared at her again, while Edge rolled his eyes.

"And Team Eve finishes first. Crappy looking sacrifices, by the way-OW!" he cried once a pineapple was thrown at him. "WHO?"

Jeff smirked. "Hi." he replied. "Think of it as revenge for all the abuse and suffering I had to deal with from you while we were still stranded back there."

"Don't get on my last nerve today, plane destroyer, PLEASE don't get on my last nerve!" he cried. "Now, moving on to the final challenge! Eve, Lita, you will race your sacrifices up the volcano, and when you reach the top, drop it inside. Allow my intern to demonstrate." he said, gesturing to the top of the volcano.

The intern wore a safety suit and dropped a sacrifice inside, when the lava splurted out and landed all over him, leaving him in a crispy, burnt heap. "Ay, buey!" he cried, speeding away.

"Well, I'm out." Edge concluded.

"YOU stay right here." Eve replied. "I'll need you to stay with me and psych out Lita, and you will NOT run away from me."

"I don't have to listen to you!" he cried. "I want to be on Lita's team, anyway."

"You listen to me, you betray me in any way, I'll shove you into that volcano, you hear me?" she asked threateningly.

He scoffed. "You're lucky Christian's here to back me up." he replied.

"Huh?" he asked.

Soon after that...

"All right, so let's start and end this so's I can get away from you all." announced Jericho.

"And how the hell are we gonna survive up that volcano without safety gear?" demanded Eve.

"HA! Like I care about safety!" he laughed. "Now, during the last TWWT Chatterbox, there was a surfing contest held where your fellow parasites won you some prizes. Edge won this baby carriage, Eve won this wheelbarrow, and Lita, you won diddly squat!"

She looked at her team.

"I tried!" Maria mustered up a smile. "I nearly got attacked by a rabid dolphin, ok?"

"And since Eve and her team won first, she gets an extra 30 second head start, so GO WORMETTES, GO!" he exclaimed.

"Hahaha, see you all in the winner's circle!" Eve cheered, tossing her dummy into the wheelbarrow and speeding off.

"God, I hate her." Lita muttered. "Wait, it's not fair, Edge and I fought hard to earn a place in the top 2, can't I at least use his carriage?"

"If you wish, but I must warn you-" Jericho began once Lita dropped the heavy dummy onto the carriage, destroying it. "NO!" she cried.

"-That will happen. Haha!" he finished, laughing.

Meanwhile, Eve was clearly in the lead, racing up the paths around the volcano. "YES! Oh, I feel powerful, and it feels oh, so good! I wonder what I can do with all that cash?"

"How...about...sticking it up yours?" Lita asked, gasping while she carried the heavy dummy.

"How the hell did you make it up here?" she demanded.

"None of your business. It's really a shame that you have so many fans here, and you're only gonna let them all down once you lose." Lita replied.

"There's no way I'm letting my fans down! I'm simply better than you." she argued.

"Oh, are you? Have you ever been the first woman to compete in a steel cage match? Have you ever been one of the only women to compete in a ladders match? Do you know how to do a suicide dive off of the corner of the ring post and have nearly broken your neck?" she demanded.

Eve looked stunned. "Uh...n-no." she replied. "But I've been Diva's Champion!"

"For like, a week. I've been 4 time women's champion. And uh, I've seen your work, and you have the audacity to use MY hurricanrana as a finishing move?" she continued.

"Uh..." she began, being cornered.

"Face it, Eve. You are not me, you've never been me, and you will never be me." Lita finished with a smirk. "You're nothing but a sham."

She was totally silent, before stopping at the edge of a cliff, where lava spewed out. "Whoa!"

"Well, this looks fun." Lita said, when they both saw Jericho and Show on the other side of a lava filled pit, with some stepping stones and some obstacles hanging on top.

"FRIENDS! Welcome to Jericho's House of Horrors, haha!" he exclaimed. "Here's the next stage of the challenge. You and your dummies will use these stepping stones to get yourselves to the other side, but as a twist, those things hanging up there are to prevent you from getting across, and/or to cause your untimely demise. Observe." he replied, cutting a rope, when a table fell on the stone, broke apart, and landed in the lava.

"DAMN!" Lita and Eve cried.

"Yeah, damn is right. Now, your teammates are here on the other side to either help prevent the objects from falling, or to help make your lives a living hell." he continued. "And Eve, I'm sure that wheelbarrow's not going to be of much help for you."

She growled. "Fine."

"So, GET MOVING!" he cried.

While the girls dragged their dummies along with them while they leaped over each stepping stone...

"COME ON, EVE, YOU CAN DO IT!" cheered Kelly.

"Hmm. Guys, I have a plan." Matt said. "Hey, uh, Kel, I heard that there was a shoe sale down at the mall. Better go and catch it before it ends."

"Shoe sale? Hells YEAH, SHOES GALORE!..." she exclaimed, speeding away.

"Hook line, and sinker." he replied. "And uh, Jeff?"

He turned around. "Whoa! You actually called me by my actual name? No, 'Little Brat'?" he asked in mock surprise.

"I'm serious, dude. I just wanted to say that I heard about the explosion and I'm glad you're all right." he replied.

"Oh, uh, well, thanks." he said, surprised. "That was nice of you to say."

"Yeah, well, maybe I've been a little harsh to you and you know-" he began.

"A little harsh?" he demanded. "Dude, I shouldn't have to remind you about everything you did to try and humiliate me and keep me out of your life! So, if this is your way of trying to apologize to me or something, it's not gonna work so easily."

He said nothing and crossed his arms.

Meanwhile...

"Eve's doing pretty good up there, eh?" asked Christian.

"I still want to be on Lita's team. I'm so sick of Eve and her stuck uppyness!" Edge replied.

"So, what are you gonna do?"

He smirked. "Hmm..."

"Hope you break a leg!" Eve cried tauntingly, hopping by.

"Go to hell." Lita smiled, hopping by.

Then, before Eve could move, Edge sliced a rope, sending a chair towards Eve. "AAH!" she cried. "EDGE!"

"Oh, whoopsie!" he smirked. "My bad."

Lita smiled towards him and took the lead.

"Wow, it's hot down here. Anyone have a cold beer...or something?" asked Christian.

"Sorry, dude. Took the last one." Jericho smiled. "Oh, and by the way, those ropes you're cutting, they're attached to certain objects, so you'll have no idea on who'll take the punishment."

"Hahaha. Hey, Eve, Lita can take you on in a street fight any day of the week! She's more awesome, more talented, more badass, HOTTER, and did I mention that she'll probably wipe the floor with you?" Edge called.

Eve stood there, stunned, while Lita smiled and took the advantage and was way ahead.

After that, Matt cut another rope to try and stop Eve, but then a cage dropped down and trapped Lita. "HEY! Damn it, Matt!" she cried.

"Oops, well, how was I supposed to know?" he exclaimed.

"HaHA! I don't care what ANY of you say or think, this challenge is MINE!" Eve cried, speeding to the other side and running off. "Come on, Christian!" she cried, dragging him along.

"Uh, can we stop for a beer somewhere?" he asked.

"...So now she takes my best friend. That chick's going DOWN!" cried Edge.

"Uh, HOW am I gonna get outta here?" demanded Lita.

"Just think about winning, Lita!" exclaimed Maria. "Think about winning that million dollar suitcase and proving all the others who doubted you wrong! Show that the underdogs are the ones who can come out on top. And, just show em what extreme's all about!"

She smiled. "You're right, Ria. I can't let that Chica beat me and take all the glory! AH!" she cried, tipping the cage over, before she crawled up and sped off. C'mon, Misfits, we've got to go kick some ass."

They all smiled and sped off with her.


	37. Ep 26 pt 2: Hawaii: The Series Finale 2

Soon enough, everyone somehow made it to the top of the hot volcano, while they were sweating like crazy, while waiting for Lita and Eve...

"Well, this blows." announced Punk. "Couldn't you guys get us a fan or something?"

Jericho and Show were sitting under a portable air conditioner. "...No." Jericho replied. "See, I'm the host and I get the special treatment, so...you don't?"

"Ok, instead of shoving him in the water, let's just throw him into the volcano. It'll be better lasting, I'll tell ya that." Hunter announced.

"CAN YOU GIRLS GET HERE ALREADY, THIS HEAT'S NOT GOOD FOR ME!" screamed Melina.

"On the upside, my abs are glistening like gold." Morrison announced with a smile.

"Ooh, sexy." she said, giving him a kiss.

"Hey, Matt, there WAS no shoe sale, you duped me!" cried Kelly.

"Hey, I had to do what I had to do." he replied, glancing towards Jeff, hoping to try and patch things up with him again.

"Heh. Looking at this, that explosion didn't seem so bad anymore." Jeff told Maria.

She chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'm just glad you came back to me." she smiled, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Hey, what's in your pocket?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, it's a surprise." he replied.

"Really? Care to tell me what it is?" she asked with a smile.

"Tell ya what. If we make it down this volcano alive, I'll let you in on everything." he smiled back.

"My John's been turned into a rat monkey." Candice said sadly. "What if I never see him again?"

"Oh, oh! Parasites, shut up. HERE THEY COME!" exclaimed Jericho.

Eve arrived first with her dummy and saw Jericho hold the case on the other side. "Hey, Eve. What you've been working for this entire season's right in the palm of my beautiful hand! Won't you come and claim it as your own?" he asked.

She lit up. "Yes. Yes, I WILL!" she exclaimed, speeding ahead to the top. "Well, Lita, it is time to meet your end. See you in hell." she said before tossing the dummy inside.

"HOLD IT!" Lita cried from behind. "Drop that thing and die."

Angry, Eve slowly turned around. "How dare you. How DARE you stop me when I'm so close to winning?" she demanded.

Lita tossed her dummy down. "Well, I was just thinking and you remember that fight we were planning to have?"

She just looked at her.

"Well, I'm just feeling the need to kick your ass right about now. Listen, I don't care that you may have more fans here than me, but my true friends were the ones who backed me up here today. Jeff was the one who helped get me to Hawaii in the first place, Maria helped to give me a reason to move forward, Edge never wanted anything to do with you in the first place, and Matt clearly wants to be on my team rather than yours." she explained.

"Where the hell are you getting to?" demanded Eve.

"Point is, nothing you say or do to me will take my mind off of the big mil. I've worked my ass off the whole season, and not even you could stand in my way." she replied.

Everyone else looked at her with admiration.

"Oh, really? Then, if you want this fight so bad, then *drops dummy* BRING IT, BITCH!" Eve cried.

The girls circled around one another, until Eve took the first shot and threw a few punches towards Lita. She tried to gain her composure, but Eve got the upper hand and threw a few quick jabs at her. She stumbled down and swung back towards Eve, while Eve dodged the attack. Next, she attacked with an uppercut, a few more jabs, and threw a few punches in the gut, while Lita tried to defend herself.

"Haha, and you thought you were better than me." Eve scoffed before throwing some more punches across her stomach and her face again.

While she tried to stand back up, Eve twirled around in a celebratory fashion, before turning back to Lita and throwing about 10 quick punches at her. Lita swung back, but missed, while Eve swung back and Lita dodged the throw. Then, Eve throw a couple of hard punches back towards her, sending her stumbling back to the near edge of the volcano. While Eve smiled and was about to finish her off, Maria and Jeff both called, "Eve, STOP!"

She looked back.

"You've done enough, just leave her alone already!" called Matt.

"No, this is getting good!" Jericho exclaimed, eating some popcorn. "Continue."

"I said I was gonna finish her off, and that's what I intend to do. Lita, you've deserved this beatdown all season, and Matt, I'm doing this for all the times that she's hurt you." she said before turning back. There, Lita was back up and before Eve could do anything, she swung a forceful knockout punch towards Eve. Dazed, she spun around before looking up to see a bright light. After that, she wobbled around before collapsing on one of Jericho's ice cubes. Lita took a look down at her. "You were saying?" she asked.

Still nearly out of it, Eve uttered, "Y-You BITCH!"

"I think you oughta kiss that cash goodbye!" Lita replied, swiftly kicking Eve and the ice cube off of the edge of the volcano, sending her sliding all the way down. "NOOOOOOOOO!..."

After that, to Lita's surprise, everyone cheered for her. "WOOO! NICE!"

"Whoa, you guys are cheering for me?" she asked.

"Who else? What you did was pretty damned epic!" exclaimed Edge.

"Besides, I think all that competition got to Eve's head and sorta got on our nerves." added Punk.

She smiled. "Thanks, you guys." she said sincerely. "Oh, hold on." she said quickly, grabbing her dummy, holding it across the volcano top, and tossing it inside, winning the competition! "YEAH! I DID IT! I FREAKING DID IT!" Lita cheered happily.

"And folks, here's your season 3 winner of Total WWE World Tour, the true survivor, Lita!" announced Jericho.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered happily.

Jeff, Maria, Edge, and Matt all ran to the other side and shared a group hug.

"TAKE THAT, PRINCESS!" Edge yelled off of the cliff.

"And Lita, here is your prize." Jericho announced, opening up the suitcase. "$1,000,000."

"Aw, man." Lita smiled happily. "I'm not much of a crier, but I'm seriously gonna do so right now."

"It's all right! You earned it!" Maria exclaimed joyously.

"Yeah, I knew you could do it." Jeff smiled.

"That's what X-treme's all about, I assume." added Matt.

"Yeah, if that princess down there would've won, I'd probably have to jam knives into my ears cause I'd never hear the end of it." added Edge. "You think I could have like, half of that?"

"No, moron." Lita replied with a smirk. "Then again, you have made it to third place, so I guess you can have some. Hell, I'll split it with the four of you guys for sticking by me the whole time."

"YEAH! WHOOHOO!" they cheered.

Meanwhile, the others felt a little guilty for not siding with her. While they were celebrating, a few Hawaiians joined them.

"Uh, excuse me, please tell me you did not just toss a pineapple down that volcano." one of them said.

"Uh...I did." Lita said.

"What's the problem?" asked Jericho.

"Are you people crazy?" another guy demanded. "Don't you know that it's bad to toss pineapples into the volcano?"

"...Nooo." Jericho continued.

The guy slapped him across the face.

"OW! HOW DARE YOU SLAP MY BEAUTIFUL FACE?" he demanded.

"You crazy fool! Tossing a pineapple into the volcano is bad luck! The gods hold you all in shame!" the guy exclaimed, fleeing the scene with the other Hawaiians. "CRAZY FOOLS!"

"So, is something bad gonna happen now or what?" asked Dave.

Then, the volcano began shaking, while Zombie Cena arrived and appeared behind Lita with a ghoulish look on his face. Lita slowly turned around to find him. "C-Cena?" she asked.

"JOHN?" Candice cried in shock, seeing her boyfriend for the first time. "Oh, my God!"

"Cena, no. This case is mine." she said cautiously, backing away.

After that, he pounced on her, and the two were rolling around and tugging over the case. Everyone gasped in shock, while Candice slowly stepped towards them. "John?"

"LET GO!" Lita cried.

Cena grabbed the case and nearly leaped into the open volcano, while Lita grabbed the other end. "Let go, damn it." she said seriously.

They were both slipping inside, and somebody needed to do something, quick.

"Lita!" team Misfits cried, rushing to help pull her back up.

"We got you, don't worry." announced Matt.

"John!" Candice cried, reaching down to pull him back up. "Grab my hand and you'll both be pulled back up, it's ok." she said. "Sweetie, do you remember who I am?"

Zombie Cena grew silent and gazed back at her before remembering her face. "...Candy?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Yeah! It's me, Candy!" she smiled. "Just reach for my hand, give the case back to Lita, and we can all get outta here."

He looked back at her.

"Please." she pleaded.

He was trying to reach for her hand, and almost did before the volcano began shaking again, and he lost his grip on the suitcase. Lita protectively clung onto the suitcase, while the others dragged her back, and he ended up falling inside the volcano.

"NOOOO!" screamed Candice. "JOHN...!"

After he wasn't visible anymore, everyone was silent, while Candice started sobbing. "NOO! This isn't happening!"

Everyone else looked mournful.

Then, the volcano started erupting more violently.

"Uh, I'd hate to interrupt this period of mourning, but maybe we better get the hell outta here BEFORE WE JOIN HIM?" demanded Jericho.

After that, the volcano began spewing an incredible amount of lava, while Lita and the Misfits, followed by Jericho and Show, everyone else, and Dave all sped down the twisty paths of the volcano, all the way down to shore, while avoiding chunks of the volcano that were headed towards them.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Shawn screamed.

"JOHN!" Candice screamed while her friends carried her.

Down at shore, a dazed Eve stopped sliding down while the ice cube melted, but before she could move, everyone was charging towards her. "Huh?"

"Move bitch, get out the way." Lita said quickly, while she and the Misfits sped away.

"Who are YOU calling a-" she began before everyone else trampled over her. "OW!"

Dave stepped over her. "Sorry." he said quickly.

Then, she looked back and saw the lava headed towards her. "Oh, (bleep). _NOOOOOOOO_!" she screamed once she was drenched with the stuff.

"EVERYBODY INTO THE WATER!" cried Christian.

They all rushed into the ocean, where they sighed with relief.

"Whoa, that was insane." announced Punk. "Can we do it again?"

"NO!" they all snapped.

"Aw."

"Lita, you still have your money?" asked Maria.

She quickly opened the case. "Yep. Thank God." she replied.

"...AAAH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" a burnt Eve screamed, rushing into the water. *sizzle* "Ahh..."

"So, uh, it's really a shame about Cena, huh?" asked Hunter.

*...SPLASH!* someone fell through, but nobody saw.

They were all quiet, while Candice was still devastated. "I can't believe he's gone." she cried.

Mickie gave her a hug. "Candy...wait." she said, looking back to see a familiar someone.

"What?" she asked.

"It's...John!" she exclaimed.

They all looked back to find a fully restored Cena, rushing towards them. "Hey, guys! Nice to be back to normal!" he exclaimed.

Candice lit up, while tears filled her eyes. "JOHN!" she cried, rushing to wrap him in a hug.

"Candy!" he exclaimed, giving her a passionate kiss. "God, I haven't seen you in so long."

"I'm just so glad you're back to normal." she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too." he replied.

"Cena, dude, how'd you turn back to normal so fast?" asked Morrison.

"Well, after I fell into that volcano, I guess in some weird way the lava restored me and brought me back to normal." he replied. "I feel great!"

"Scorching hot lava." announced Hunter.

"Restoring complexions everywhere." finished Shawn.

"Ow..." Eve complained.

"Eve, you ok?" asked Maria.

"No! Lita, I can't freakin believe you won." she replied, glaring at her. "And why are you all cheering for her? I thought you were all on my side!"

"Well, uh, Eve, you know that we all love you, but today, you were-were kinda acting-" began Mickie.

"Like a bitch." finished Melina. "Sorry!"

"Oh." Eve replied, stunned. "Well, I'm sorry if I was harsh towards you guys, but I really wanted to win. I'm not sorry to you, though." she told Lita.

She smiled. "I don't care." she replied.

Later, after the madness, everyone was relaxing on the beach for the bonfire party...

"Ah, it's finally over, Show." announced Jericho. "No more dealing with those damned parasites, it's over forever."

"You're damn right it's over cause I quit. Goodbye, I'm going to the jacuzzi." Show said, heading off.

Jericho looked shocked. "Huh? Show, wait, why are you leaving me?" he cried.

Randy and Michelle were relaxing on the beach, while Nattie was still bothering them.

"Oh, Randy, how romantic is this?" Nattie asked, relaxing next to them. "Just you and me relaxing on a beach in Hawaii..."

"Michelle, how come those quacks over at St. Illness never showed up?" asked Randy.

"Rand, I have no freaking clue, I've called them nonstop since she's been stalking us, and all they say is, 'We'll be right over'." she mocked in a whiny voice. "God, if Nattie's here any longer..."

"Just face it. You'll never get rid of me." Nattie smiled. "And Randy and I will spend the rest of our lives together."

After that, two guards arrived. "Yeah, we're guards from St. Illness and we're here to pick up an escaped patient, uh, Natalya?" asked one of them.

"No, that's not me!" she exclaimed. "That's-"

"Her." Randy and Michelle ratted her out.

"Let's go." the guards replied, taking her away.

"No, NOOOO! Randy, save me! I can't leave you, I just can't!" Nattie cried. "I LOVE YOU!..."

They looked back to make sure that she was gone.

"Well, she's gone!" exclaimed Michelle.

"YES!" they cheered, high fiving.

"Now, with you and only you here with me, maybe now I'll be less miserable." Randy smiled.

She smiled. "I'll take it as a compliment." she replied before they shared a kiss.

Meanwhile, Eve was on her own, still disappointed about losing.

"Hey, Eve, how you holding up?" asked Christian.

"Hey, Christian. I just feel so lousy for losing to Lita first of all, and just being so close to winning." she replied. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you and the others."

"It's cool, it was a competition, you're supposed to be a little bitchy sometimes." he replied.

She chuckled. "Yeah. Well, this competition was pretty wild, wasn't it?"

"Sure was, now I'll never understand why the others would go through with this for 3 years straight." he replied.

"Touche." she agreed. "Hey, you want to come with me for a few drinks?"

"Sure, but uh first," he began, stopping her. "There's kinda something that I've wanted to do since the beginning."

"What?"

"This." he replied, leaning forward and giving her a passionate kiss.

She blushed, but wrapped her arms around his neck. After they broke apart...

"Whoa." they both said.

"I think I need a cold drink." Eve said, still blushing, while she took his hand.

"I think I need a cold shower." Christian joked, still blushing.

Meanwhile, Melina and Morrison were versing Punk and Kelly in a game of volleyball.

"MARCO!" Punk cried, before serving the ball.

"POLO!" Morrison cried back, tossing the ball back.

"Guys, what are you doing, this isn't swimming." Melina said with a laugh.

"We know." finished Morrison. "You know, I feel like I've missed out on so much here. I mean, it was awesome hosting the Chatterbox, but I wish I could've traveled with you guys."

"Dude, believe me, you haven't missed out on anything. You'd have Jericho on your damned back trying to kill ya, you'd have to sing every 5 seconds-" explained Punk.

"Actually, I really liked the singing." interrupted Kelly.

"...and if you were eliminated, you'd be tossed off the plane and land God knows where." he finished. "Be happy, Morrison. Be happy."

"I'll keep that in mind. But what I've really missed out on was getting back with you earlier, Mel." he told her. "I'm just so glad we're back together."

She smiled. "And back together we shall remain." she replied, giving him a passionate kiss. "I love ya, Johnny."

"I loves you too, Mel. Now, let's destroy these two." he smiled, tossing the ball back at the other side.

"Ooh! Ooh! Mine!" Kelly exclaimed. She served the ball, but instead it clocked Evan on the head, knocking him out again. "..Ow."

"You guys!" Mickie cried sternly.

"Sorry." Kelly said innocently. "Anyone have any cookies?"

Meanwhile, Lita already split her winnings with her former teammates, and gazed at the tons of money that was left. "I can't believe I won." she said quietly with a smile.

"I can." Matt replied, joining her.

"Hey. Thanks for helping me out back there, I guess we're cool again, right?" she asked.

"Sure. Let's just forget all the crap we tried to do to one another out there, and you know, still be friends." he replied.

"Good deal." she replied. "I'll be staying with you guys for a little while longer till I have to hit the road. We'll keep in contact."

He smiled. "Cool. Now, I'm gonna try to apologize to Jeff for everything I've done." he said.

"Oh, are you?" she asked, surprised. "You've really turned your attitude around dude, and I'm proud of ya. Keep up the good work."

"I'll try. If he still wants anything to do with me." he agreed.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Maria were out looking at the ocean, while he wanted to reveal his surprise to her.

"This sunset's so beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.

"Sure is. Hey, Ria, remember that surprise you asked me about earlier?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah! What was it?" she asked back.

"Can we go someplace alone for a few minutes?" asked Jeff. "There's something important I have to talk about with you."

"Sure." she replied.

A few minutes later, they arrived where a nice garden was.

"What's up, babe?" she asked. "What'd you want to talk about?"

"Ok, I know that a lot's been going on lately, but I've needed to do this all day, and I think that now's the perfect time." he said.

She looked nervous. "What do you mean? Is everything ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. As a matter of fact, more than fine." he said. "We've known each other for nearly 5 years, but to me it seemed like forever. And ever since you came into my life, I've been a lot happier than I've ever been before. You're my everything, babe, and I've decided that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." he continued, holding out a bouquet of flowers.

She was still speechless. "Really?" she asked with a surprised smile. "What is all this?"

"Well, for one thing, I just wanted to give you these flowers. This one represents our incredible past, like the day we first met, this one represents our present, like how beautiful you are when I look at you right now, and this one...represents our future." he said with a smile.

Seeing that there was an jade colored ring on the third rose, she gasped. "Is this what I think it is?" she asked happily.

Then, he got down on one knee and took the ring. "Well, I hope so." he replied.

Maria looked in absolute shock. "Oh, my God." she said quietly.

"Now let me explain first. This isn't an engagement ring, because I don't like rushing into marriage, but this is a promise ring. Which means that when the right time comes, I hope that I can take you as my lawfully wedded wife. We've spent so many years apart and I want to make it up to you, Ria, and I never want to lose you ever again. So, Maria Kanellis, will you accept this ring and become my bride in the near future?" he asked with hope in his eyes.

She started crying tears of joy, but then said, "Jeffrey Nero Hardy, you really are my Prince Charming, and there's nobody else in this world that I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. So, what I'm saying's that yes, Enigma! Of course I accept!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Then, he smiled while he slipped the ring on her finger and then wrapped her up in a hug. "Yeah!" he cried happily.

She giggled. "We're gonna be so happy together!" she exclaimed happily before they shared a passionate kiss.

Meanwhile...

"Hey, snookums." Edge said, still flipping through his money. "Thanks for the moolah! Now, I can buy my own comfy chair, just like the one in Jericho's precious plane, isn't that great?"

"Lovely, moron." Lita replied. "You enjoy yourself."

"So, uh, you're really leaving soon, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah, I got places to go, people to see." she replied. "It's not like I'll be gone forever, though. And since when do you call me snookums? I hate it."

"Then I'll keep calling you that." he replied. "Look, if you gotta go, then keep my number at least. I'll-I'll miss ya."

She mustered up a smile. "Here's mine." she replied. "Don't use it too much or I'll find you and probably kill you."

"I like em fiesty!" he exclaimed.

"Anyways, I've been meaning to thank you for helping me earlier, I couldn't have won without you guys." she said sincerely.

"No sweat. Once a Misfit, always a Misfit. Although the dreaded memories may burn in my head for a lifetime, I had fun. Tormenting you." he smiled.

"I live to torment you, and don't you forget it, you annoying perv." she replied.

They looked at one another for a few minutes, before he bent her backwards and gave her a passionate kiss. When they broke apart...

"I hate you." he smiled.

"I hate you, too." she smiled back.

Meanwhile...

"Oh, my God, you guys are getting married?" exclaimed Kelly.

"Not yet, it's a promise ring, so we'll be getting married in the future!" Maria cried happily.

"That's great! Congratulations!" Mickie exclaimed, giving her and Jeff a hug.

"Thanks!" they both replied.

"Look at my ring, isn't it pretty?" Maria exclaimed.

"Wow! *whistles*-Nice!" they all exclaimed.

"Aww, it matches your eyes!" exclaimed Eve.

"That's beautiful! How much did it cost you?" asked Melina.

"Well, I stopped by a jewelry store around here and I found this one for around $3,500." he replied with a slight blush.

"Wow, I wouldn't even spend that much on Kelly." Punk said, surprised.

She shoved him.

"Wow, $3,500!" Maria cried, shocked. "You'd spend all that on me?"

"Ria, I'd spend a billion dollars on you if I wanted to." he replied.

While the others went 'Aww!', Dave looked shell shocked. "MARRIED? I thought that I'd at least have a split chance with Maria at least Since Kelly doesn't want me!" he demanded. "I demand an explanation!"

She smiled and held up her finger with the ring on it. "This an explanation to you?" she asked.

"Yeah, proof that she's with me, dude. Just give up now and forever hold your peace." agreed Jeff.

He grumbled. "I'm gonna go complain to Johnson about this. *dials number* Hey, Johnson? Yeah, (BLEEP) you and (BLEEP) you for filing those harassment claims on me!...Oh, WHAT? You think I'm harassing you right now, I'll show you harassment you (BLEEP)ing (BLEEP)er, I (BLEEP)ing hate you, you jackass son of a bitch!" he cried, hanging up. "What?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Shall we celebrate the occasion over a few drinks?" announced Morrison.

"YEAH!-WHOO!" they cheered.

"We'll join you guys in a minute." Maria replied.

"Uh, hey, guys, I heard everything." Matt said, joining them. "Congratulations, looks like I'll have a new little sister someday, huh?"

She mustered up a small smile, while Jeff still looked kind of mad.

"Look, guys, Ria, what you told me the other day was right. If I didn't have a little brother, things would be kind of lonely. So, Jeff, I'm trying to change my ways, and I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I mean, you're my little bro, man, and I love you." he continued.

He nodded. "It's cool." he replied, mustering up a smile.

After the two hugged, he continued, "So, you two tell Lita the good news yet?"

"We're on our way to see her." replied Jeff. "Why?"

"Well, she's gonna be hanging out with us for a bit longer, but she's heading off on her own soon. Might want to talk to her soon." he said, heading off.

"Hey, guys, what's-" Lita began, seeing the ring on Maria's finger. "Oh, so you already did! Congrats, you guys!"

After they shared hugs, they thanked her.

"You're really not heading off with the rest of us?" asked Maria.

"I can't, I got other places to go." she replied. "I just wanted to wish you guys a great life and I know you'll be happy together."

"Thanks. And I'm so glad you and I got to be on the same team, this season's been lots of fun!" she exclaimed.

"I thought it was gonna be a train wreck." announced Jeff.

"Haha, it kinda was." she agreed.

"Hey, people, over here!" called Hunter.

They all joined him and Shawn, who were surrounded around a relaxing Jericho.

He opened an eye. "AAH!" he cried, startled. "Is this another parasite attack?"

"Something like that. See, the season's over, and it's time to do our traditional goodbye ceremony." Hunter announced.

"No." he said, scared.

"Oh, yes, Jericho. Up we go." Shawn said, while he and Hunter lifted him up and took him towards the ocean.

"NO! NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY FOR ME, NOT YOU!" he shouted.

"Yeah, we really don't care." Hunter replied while they tossed him in the ocean.

*SPLASH!*

"WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

"You know we gotta do it one more time. And if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya!" cried Shawn.

Then, he and Hunter did the infamous DX crotch chop!

"SUCK IT!" they cried, while everyone else cheered.

"Come on, people, let's PARTY IT UP!" exclaimed Christian.

"And we all live happily ever after." Maria smiled, while she, Jeff, and Lita ran off and joined the party.

Jericho stuck his head out of the water. "Well, friends and parasites alike, it's been fun. And traumatizing. From all of us here at TWWT, enjoy yourselves and thanks for putting up with us one last time. Jericho...Out!" he exclaimed. "Now, Big Show, come on, don't quit! We can chat over some mocha-latte-frappa chinos! SHOW!"

* * *

**_AN: And so marks the very end of the Total WWE series! Hope you enjoyed it all!_**


End file.
